I don't think you know how hard it is for me.
Pretending.
Pretending like you mean nothing.
tears in my eyes
Waves and riptides.
On the surface,
Everything is alright.
Deep down
Deep down inside
I can't articulate the turbulence
Entwined.
Your soul and mine.
Flightless bird
Uplifting.
The sheer sound of your voice
Makes me drown.
Provoking emotion
I resolve to not have at all.
Don't you feel so ******* tall.
On the pedestal I put you on.
You'll never fall.
Leaves blow in the wind
And the trees start to die.
Such a beautiful sight
Still you're the only thing on my mind
Even in a sober light.
I'm tired of this fight.
Only you.
Only you.
How many times until we get this right?
It's ******.
You gave up.
You gave up.
Now all is lost.
Love doesn't exist.

I think I'm just gonna start writing about *******.
Like love.
And the moments between when you're born and when you die.
Surely,
Your last breath is the most peaceful
In life.
Living is always easier with eyes closed.
Abiding
Conforming.
Doors closed.
You don't see.
A big picture.
Full of promise,
And hope.
Life's fading in
A bag of dope.
I wanna hold on to hope.
Promises of a tomorrow,
That will never come.
Eyes glowing like the sun.
It's easier to run.
**** facing
This confinement of feelings.
Feeling is over rated.
It's not worth fighting.
It's never gonna fade.
Time is at a stand still.
On the moment
Your eyes met mine.

Hope's love lost.
The weight of the universe.
In a four letter word.
Words are meaningless.
Eyes bare the soul.
Eyes lie in depths.
Deeper feeling,
Deeper regrets.
Killing noise
With substance.
Solitary confinement.
Vines bind us.
Taring deep into wrists.
Leaving a plethora
Of white slits.
Unwanted.
Thrown out.
I'm a black plastic trash bag.
Filled with red solo cups.
A whisky lullaby
On display.
Wax paper escape.
Goodbye,
Adios.
Falling down the rabbit hole.

I've been told before,
That it's ok to care.
Hands running through
Dark hair.
Fingers entwine.
Let your body
Fall into mine.
You do know that all of this
That all of this is meaningless,
Right?
Your presence isn't gonna make
My future bright.
Just another regret,
That I choose not to regret.
Just another regret,
My mind will soon forget.
You'd be wise to do the same.
Lose my number
And pretend
Pretend you don't even know my name.

I feel like I need substance to forget your name.
Stopping dead in my tracks.
Your presence resonates.
Please, I beg, for your presence to escape me.
Erase the memory.
I can't live with you
In the back of my mind.
Time times infinity will still not be enough time.
Your presence provokes a sadness within.
The only thing I have left is a paper and pen.
Words accumulating.
Words are meaningless, and forgettable.
But your love,
Your love will always ******* last.
I can't keep living in the past.
There's no such thing.
Your love is everlasting.
Even if it is just a one way feeling.

I'm glad you told me you don't love me.
Because it's the worst pain I will ever have to face.
And I deserve it.
I deserve it for being such a disgrace.
All I can ever do is hope to be better than the person I was.
And I feel compelled to care.
I feel compelled to be more.
But in my heart of hearts
I know nothing will ever compare.
I'm nothing without you.
Repetitive lines.
My ocean bringing my soul to a steady shore.
Untouchable memories.
That I wish would fade.
I wish they would just die away.
You're my soul mate.
What life is really worth living,
Without the other half of your being?
You complete me.
You completed me.
No more.

I never want to remember, yet it hurts to forget.
Tears flow like my regrets.
A water fountain.
A shock wave.
Of feelings.
Why can't I just let you go?
Why can't your presence just escape my heart?
I wish for nothing more than to not be torn the **** apart.
They say time heals all wounds,
But the wounds I feel aren't surface scars.
They cut deep within.
I'm not whole.
I'm not a melody without you.
My harmony.
My solid ground.
My love.
You were my riptide.
Yet you were the steadiest motion in my ocean.
Joy and hope
Joy and hope.
You kept my life afloat.
It hurts the most
To know we just can not be.
I wish we knew ourselves
Individually.
The love I have will live inside me until I die.
Never fading.
No replacing.
Nothing will ever compare.