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11h · 44
#1 Date
You held my hand last night, we fit like key and lock.
Only for eachother, the fullness made me gawk.
The film was lost on me, I did not hear the talk.
Friends asked if it was good, I have a mental block.

Our fingers intertwined, the feeling stole my mind.
Bodies and hearts aligned, connection undefined.
Fingers and arms like vine, effortlessly they bind.
Wherever did I find such a boy to be mine?

For six months I've liked you, wondering if it works.
It should not on paper, and yet I felt such sparks.
I felt ever faker, these feels I tried traverse.
There was no end in sight, my blessing and my curse.

I lay on your shoulder, my comfortable pillow.
Your arm filled both of mine, ever mine to borrow.
Not having you near me, already brings sorrow.
See you January, my beautiful lover.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeek
It happened!!!!
None of our friends know, only you guys ;)
Goodnight Bubbles, sleep tight

Goodnight Buttercup
...

You haven't said "don't let the bedbugs bite"

Because I don't want to let you go

(internal squels)
I don't want to go

But I guess you have to

I guess I do
Nov 12 · 159
Pivot Point
BipolarBear Nov 12
Today I fell out of like with you dear.
Although I still hate not having you near.
I'd rather nothing, than a version of you;
that's neither loving, nor coming through.

For I won't settle - for just attention.
I need unity, in shared direction.
You know I like you, yet you fail to give,
your time and presence - jealousy instead.
I'm not convinced that you know how to love.
Nov 12 · 119
Oxygen, I Miss You
BipolarBear Nov 12
I cannot run.
I cannot talk.
I cannot breathe.
You hide from me.
Man I hate it when this happens, feeling it right now, but it will lift :)
Nov 11 · 117
Mismatched Socks
BipolarBear Nov 11
'Perfect in countless ways' this shared thought lingers.
But they cannot create pretty, pleasant pictures.
For those 'perfect' puzzle pieces misalign - beware...
Knitting a painfully incompatible pair.
Nov 11 · 124
Chemicals
BipolarBear Nov 11
I fell in love with the feeling you give.
I confused it with the person you are.
Thank you for clearing it up.
Nov 11 · 115
My Fault
BipolarBear Nov 11
My love, if it be true,
that the best thing about you,
is how you make š“¶š“® feel...
Then I must make a change.
Then I need to get real.
Nov 11 · 46
Uncertainty
BipolarBear Nov 11
Can I trust you to take me through the death of my mum and my dad?
Not 100%
Can I trust you to raise our kids alone?
Not 100%

I need 100% baby.
Nov 11 · 381
Heartbroken (Allegedly)
BipolarBear Nov 11
A feeling, with evidence too - is wisdom.
A feeling, without evidence - is instinct.
Evidence, without a feeling - is logic.
Evidence, against a feeling - is heartache.
The feeling, disproved, is foolishness :(
I actually really like this lil piece I wrote :)
Nov 5 · 77
My Ghost Writer
BipolarBear Nov 5
Poet unknowing -
his words trend effortlessly;
my secret to keep.
My crush says words, and I record them here in a quick haiku to look back on (ie. 'We Hate Goodbyes' and 'Daydream') ...and they trend! None of my haikus trend XD This man is in STEM guys, he's not allowed to trend. Anyways he will never ever know of my account cuz he's so obviously the muse XD
Nov 4 · 64
Use Your Words Dear
BipolarBear Nov 4
Oh to weave those thoughts into words;
how I yearn to learn your pattern.
I trip, I fall, I bruise, it hurts;
misunderstanding - a deadly casm.

Unspoken words to skin, it burns;
decipher the pain I cannot.Ā Ā 
While speech departs, action returns;
but without breath, our bond will rot.

Thus I reach out, unsteady, unsure;
hopeful to mend our silent rift.
Take my hand in yours I implore;
pull me closer, or grant our drift.

For the ground gives way bit by bit;
rough, festering seas lie beneath.
Water our seed, do not flood it;
rosebuds thrive on a renounced heath.
Contrasting love languages convey similar messages, but can we learn to speak eachother's?
Nov 4 · 455
We hate goodbyes
BipolarBear Nov 4
It is not goodbye.
it is just see you later...
that's much easier.
Haiku :)
Nov 3 · 181
Burnt Out Breaks
BipolarBear Nov 3
Constantly chasing the future,
while clutching the past in my hands.
The present slips through these fingers,
elusive as desert sands.
Nov 2 · 242
Time Is Relative
BipolarBear Nov 2
We will never reach tomorrow.
Yesterday no longer exists.
Remaining always in today,
live in the present or lose it.
Nov 1 · 66
Butterfly effect
BipolarBear Nov 1
A butterfly flew,
rather fluttered and floated;
contagious smiles grew.
Wasn't looking to rhyme this haiku... but I blame it on a butterfly :)
Nov 1 · 48
Contemplations
BipolarBear Nov 1
As I walk in the thirty degree heat.
Questions that haunt me, begin to repeat.
In the summer air, however, a breeze.
Air flows wistfully, calming me with ease.

Overthinkers can lose their lives in daydream.
Something grabs ahold of mine to save me.
I get the urge to recover self esteem.
My heart, soul and so relationships redeem.

Lord, I lost you and myself soon followed.
I have gone too long, a woman hollowed.
Now the way to you is clear but winding.
Continue to shine your light so blinding.

You are patient Lord, guide each of my feet.
When I step offtrack, help me not repeat.
Focusing on you, all questions answered.
Please take them all, I look not backward.
Oct 31 · 132
Attention Seeker
BipolarBear Oct 31
Give it to me please, oh sweet validation.
Relieve this bitter, dull life's frustration.
I dream honeyed words - of affirmation.
Such an inventive imagination.
Reposting this verse as a poem on its own :)
Oct 31 · 65
Heartstring Tuning
BipolarBear Oct 31
How I love that feeling when...
breathing is natural;
talking is effortless;
my balance I regain.
I sing along to happy songs -
living in sync again.
Oct 30 · 132
Dear diary
BipolarBear Oct 30
30/10/2024

Dear Dairy,

I know it's been a while.
I am so sorry.
I gave up.
I lost it all.
But we have two months of this year left.
Help me to pick up the pieces, one by one.
Oct 30 · 237
Daydream
BipolarBear Oct 30
'Well sweat dreams' she said.
'I have sweet day dreams' he said.
She blushed forever.
Oct 27 · 71
Side effects
BipolarBear Oct 27
Is it me or is it the pill?
A question I ask daily.
Is it will or clinical?
I think it is me mainly.

But awhile mentally ill,
memories become hazy.
Think back, Harley Quinn, until,
before you were so crazy.

Thirteen years old, childlike thrill,
I have not felt sane lately.
Doctor, that girl I did ****,
too weak to put it straightly.

What is abnormal, when I recall normalcy vaguely?
14 lines of 7 syllables -
an odd number for an odd poem :)

Inspired by the fact that I can't decipher what is a side effect when I have felt out of it for so long. I have formed a little web of issues before getting help for the original culprit of my pain.
Oct 27 · 73
Happy pill
BipolarBear Oct 27
Thank you easy fix,
you took all my pain.

But I do not know
of what you contain.
I know not what is
changing in my brain.
Perhaps I have
a new ball and chain.

Psychiatrist please,
tell me what I'm on.
Thirty minute chat
'Let's try this, try that'
No, just please tell me
now where I am at.
I love 5 syllable lines :)
Inspired by fear and having no answers.
Oct 27 · 53
Hurt/Hurt Situation
BipolarBear Oct 27
We attract like magnets,
I know you feel the pull.
But unbroken habits,
will puncture hearts once full.

My heart aches for you love,
It is hard to resist.
May we meet in a decade,
should these feelings persist.
Oct 27 · 56
Wet Escape
BipolarBear Oct 27
I have missed you rain.
Water flow, take me away -
our icy escape.
Oct 27 · 53
Bloodstained
BipolarBear Oct 27
Found love just too late.
See 'hurt people, hurt people'
I ooze cherry red.
First haiku :)
BipolarBear Oct 27
Give it to me please, oh sweet validation.
Relieve this bitter, dull life's frustration.
I dream honeyed words - of affirmation.
Such an inventive imagination.

Oh please, kind stranger... A like for a like?
Comment for comment? Follow for follow?
Repost my poems, stories, pictures, tweets;
tiktoks, videos, quotes and recipes?

NO.

My phone is exiled, across stormy sea.
Numbers don't mean a dicky bird to me.

Thank you kind stranger,
for reading my piece.
Sighting me create -
finally release.
Oct 27 · 40
Dear friend
BipolarBear Oct 27
Dear friend,
from my past

Do not harbour those
bitter feelings please.Ā Ā 
We loved and we lost.
I needed you - you,
me - thus our paths crossed.

Don't grieve this chapter
spent with eachother.
You will always be
with me, and me you,
we carved the other.

I wish you the best.
May you grow, prosper,
love and all the rest.
I'm on my 4th highschool due to moving around a bunch. Countless friendships have formed and ruptured. When we are young we think that our best friends will be around forever, unfortunately this is not the case.
Oct 26 · 194
Pedestal sweetheart
BipolarBear Oct 26
Polished pedestal,
solid and steady.
Up you go, my dear;
get yourself ready.

I will gawk and stare;
kneel, praise and compare.

Until my knees bruise,
ego worse for wear,
eyes ache and vocal
chords all waste away.

So, tell me abou-
nevermind darling.
Your charcater is
near done constructing.
Why do I do this to myself?
Oct 23 · 67
Peace is a scarcity
BipolarBear Oct 23
I cannot take it,
the trillion triggers.

The impatient 'di-dum'
of posey fingers.
The conceited 'snip-snap'
of makeup-mirrors.
The piercing 'peep-peep'
of jeering fellows.
The stuck-up 'click-clack'
of sour stilettos.

Can the world please stop?
Just for a moment?
Oct 23 · 42
Let it out slowly
BipolarBear Oct 23
Put ink to pen
and pen to paper,
the words and stories
will come later.

Never allowing
the water-flow out,
will end in damage,
destruction and drought.
Oct 23 · 41
Beautiful Sin
BipolarBear Oct 23
His face holds no flaw, his smile stops time.
His words paint a future in this willing mind.
He must be an angel of the Lord's design.
Yet, religion divides - it bars me from him.
How, Lord, is it possible? That he is a sin?
Oct 23 · 26
Corkscrew spin
BipolarBear Oct 23
A shiny forehead;
accelerating pulse.

I'm anxious to win;
but thoughts escape me,
like smoke in the wind.

I lost hold of my-
self, clutching onto
this pen in my hand.

Always, I feel it
escalate - defeat:
my sinking sand.
Oct 20 · 121
Maybe we can make it
BipolarBear Oct 20
So maybe he does hate music,
but he loves it when I sing.

Maybe people can't change people,
but maybe love can always win.
We are so different and yet I wouldn't change a thing about him.
Oct 20 · 275
Newtons law
BipolarBear Oct 20
Every artist needs a muse.
For emotion
can neither be created nor destroyed.

It must be felt and expressed.
Each piece of art,
a replication
spurred by deep appreciation.

You my love,
could birth a city
of singers and musicians;
ballerinas and bakers;
painters, poets and pastry chefs.
Oct 20 · 47
Trustfall
BipolarBear Oct 20
Never at allĀ Ā 
did I understand love songs before.

To 'do anything' for a smile,
simply couldn't be true.
Until you grinned,
and I looked at you.

Never at allĀ Ā 
did I understand marriage before.

To give up oneself,
your ambitions and goals.
Do it all for your family
and unite your souls.

It perplexed me how
they knew it would work.
Until one look at you.
Then my love, I learnt.
#love #romance #trust #fallen #marriage #lovesongs #smile #family
Oct 20 · 317
Dork
BipolarBear Oct 20
You are a dork
my love.
An unfortunate diagnosis.

For now
I am in love.
That dorkiness, my prognosis.
My muse is a dork
Oct 20 · 106
Love illogical
BipolarBear Oct 20
It is both comforting and terrifying.
I've never felt anything like it at all.

I know not if it is love,
but now one thing is for sure;
I sure as hell have never
loved another boy before.

No human language can ever explain.
I can never judge any two lovers again.
Oct 20 · 455
Crazy
BipolarBear Oct 20
I am not crazy.
Not to the naked eye.
On the inside however,
my humaness shines.

Yes I am crazy.
Revealing it only to you.
My love, we love to argue,
but I admit that you always knew...

The most sane thing I've done,
is be crazy about you.
Oct 20 · 56
Substance abuse
BipolarBear Oct 20
I was just a kid.
I did not know what I was doing.

I was just a kid.
A kid in debilitating pain.
It was unbearable
to be awake.

It was impossible
to grab hold
of the bright futureĀ Ā 
that was slipping through my fingers.

Locked in my own body.
Stripped of free will.
Unstable on my own two feet.
Bed bound for eternity.

I found a relief.
Something which gave me hope.
It held me up like crutches,
and enabled me to keep going.

I am still a kid.
A kid who cannot stand
without crutches anymore.

Please do not take them away.
Please do not let me fall.
Oct 19 · 53
Closed book
BipolarBear Oct 19
Once upon a time,
open, my pages lay.
An array of pictures and colours;
beautifully typed and evenly spaced
words on display.

Regrettably,
as the years went on,
my pages yellowed.
My ink warped and smudged.

Wonderfully formulated stories
morphed into
demented scribbles of desperation.
Affluence became affliction.
Reminiscence, rumination.

Alas tears
disfigure these pages.
Dust collected
through the ages.
Dog ears are carelessly
recurrent.
Once loved haphazardly,
now in voluntary abondment.

The glue
that binds me is
flaking, fracturing, fragmenting.
My spine is
cracking, crumbling, collapsing.

Duly I reside,
on the tip-top shelf.
Buried by self-preservation,
lies myself.
I obscure it all from another;
shrouded by a glossy, polished cover.

It is suffocatingingly lonesome in here,
oxygen is dear.

But can anybody
make familiar this language?Ā Ā 
Will anyone
discern these dark inky contusions?Ā Ā 
Shall someone
navigate the contents of my confusions?Ā Ā 

These pages
tell a lifetime
of valuable lessons within.
But I give paper cuts
to precious, porcelain skin.
This piece was inspired by finding myself in pain from suppressing negative emotions. A closed book is never a happy one, no matter how smiley the cover. I wish to open up again, but it will take time.
BipolarBear Oct 19
'Depression is like a blanket'
I heard a poor soul say.

At the time,
I could not sympathize.

Not until I felt that blanket...
And it smothered me slowly.

Ever tighter.
Ever heavier.
It was painful.
It was exhausting.

I did not know
what it was.
I did not know
for months.

Not until those little white pills,
extended to me by a nuturing hand.

The blanket lifted!
I breathed again.

But the air
was like ice,
burning
through my dusty lungs.

I could feel again.

But my thoughts
became deafening,
echoing
in my tidy mind.

I yearned to go back.

Depression
is like a blanket.
Can I survive the cold?
I was just a kid when I heard this phrase 'Depression is like a blanket.' I thought that it was nonsense. I whole heartedly hope that you do too. But if not, well I hope that this piece makes you feel seen and heard and a little less crazy. You are not alone. We can shiver and shake together until our hands become stable once more.

— The End —