I've owned a host of curios
And trinkets in my day
Acumulated gadgets
And devices in array
But one singular item
Has remained a loyal friend
I'm positive I'll have it
Til the very bitter end

I've nothing in my pocket
I've had it from the start
And though I try to run from it
We're never far apart
When everything goes rotten
If life leaves me bereft
I always have my nothing
My friend when nothing's left

Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
A bird feather on his hat,
and pipe smoke in the air.

His fake teeth so white,
Like some pearls from out at sea,
And his humour so silly,
He'd make a clown out of me.

Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
dog treats on the table,
And gel in his hair.

OCD plagues him,
so you cannot move his things,
Listening to an old vinyl,
Loading the dishwasher whilst he sings.

Spring has sprung
Or so I’m told
The sun is low
My breakfast cold
Timid flowers
Hide their heads
Beneath the earth
In frozen beds

Spring is here
With frosted lips
And pollen coated
Fingertips
With just a hint
Of distant warm
Or rattling
Of thunder storm

Spring abounds
On wary feet
With breath of mist
And sudden sleet
To chap at cheeks
And nibble noses
Cold as clay
Red as roses

Happy Easter to all those celebrating this weekend. I shall sacrifice a chocolate egg to my craven gods in your honour ;)

**

A smithy, name of Ronnie Gun
Created an invention
To rapidly distribute lead
Within the third dimension
He buffed away and polished it
Displayed upon his shelf
He loved that thing so very much
He named it for himself

So he used it in the local bar
To order up some beer
But the landlord wasn’t happy
Having rapid lead just here
He said “If you’ll be drinking here
On more than one occasion,
I’ll need a fancy shooting stick
Of the hole-making persuasion

Ronnie hastened off to home
To build another gun
A scientific exercise
He’d do it just for fun
And if perchance he happened by
The local bar tonight
He’d leave it there for safety
With his friendly barman: Dwight

But Dwight was quite a careless man
He waved his gun around
It puzzled him why everyone
Was lying on the ground
By evening a line had formed
Of angry solid angry local
Demanding Guns for everyone
And getting rather vocal

So all week long he toiled away
and though his gun was fine
He took a little liberty
Improving the design
He charged them quite a penny
Growing richer by the day
While his remained to gather dust
Still standing on display

Policemen came that afternoon
With news of great concern
The ****** rate was soaring
And it’s no surprise to learn
The leading cause of death we’ve found
Is holes from rapid lead
We’re going to have to close you down
There’s one too many dead

‘Twas then that inspiration
Hit like lead propelled at speed
Ronnie stood and thus proclaimed
“I know just what you need!
I’ll happily sell you weapons
With reduction to my fee
And just to prove my honesty
I’ll give you yours for free

And soon another queue had formed
Around his little shop
Of people sick of ducking
At the first sign of a cop
It came to pass that everyone
Had bought a gun to hold
So Ronnie made a bigger gun
And counted up his gold

I can't seem to find a job,
Which really isn't rare,
But all I want is some stable income,
Enough so I can prepare,

Prepare for when I feel like treating my friends,
Or enough to pay off debts,
I don't want to get stuck in a vicious circle,
Of loan and repay and repent.

It seems that now living costs money,
A smiles a pound a minute
Using those pounds to pay for lottery tickets,
Though we know we'll never win it.

A world of money grabbing scoundrels,
That's how this economy works,
They'll swipe your wallet out your pocket,
And leave you in the dirt.

It's absolutely ridiculous,
It's barmy, it's mad,
Everyone's obsessed with ten pound notes,
Designer clothes and fads.

No one thinks to change the way they're living,
No one wants to be free,
From the people with small minds,
And the rules of a society.

No one thinks about a friendly face,
That is worth more than credit cards,
Cause money won't pick you up,
When your life is in shards.

I can't seem to find a job,
But I don't think I care,
Cause I'm rich in family, Friends and laughter,
And for that there is no fare.

If I were to tell you I liked a girl,
Would you be ashamed?
Would you make me confess my sins at Church?
On a Bible my hand laid.

If I were to kiss her delicate ribs,
Count them one by one,
Would you taunt me with the one Adam gave up?
Try to change me by force and shun.

If I were to fall in love with her brilliant mind,
Would you drown me in my doubts?
Condemn me to a life of a lie confined,
By your mockery and your shouts.

If I were to caress her beautiful soul,
With tender words and care,
Would you wound me with words of hate?
Your anger making knots in my hair.

If I were to tell you I liked a girl,
Someone the same *** as I,
Would you accept me and embrace change?
Or wouldn't you even try?

It's been snowing where I live,
Which is absolutely fine,
Weather is a woman you do not mess with,
She does things in her own time.

But Weather, My boots aren't very warm,
And I'm getting chilblains on my toes,
So it would be nice if you could send a tropical storm,
Cause I'm tired of skiing down the road.

And I can't get to half of my friends,
As the bus I catch goes to turn right and slides left,
I try to walk but the ice leaves me stumbling,
Plus being clumsy, with my feet I am not deft.

Now Weather, Your moods always seem erratic,
One minute it's raining then the next it's dry,
And half the time when we ask for a bit of sun,
Your face turns to an expression quite wry.

I enjoy the snow, I do!
Your Daughter Winter is a lovely girl to meet,
But I think I'd enjoy her company an awful lot more,
If she didn't give me cold feet.