I gave up and I choosed to be blind.
I covered my eyes and I left everything shine through.

Without awareness.
Without faith.

I waited,
at times I debated,
feeling like a teenager aboot to go on their first date,
I had work the next day but didn't care if I had to stay up late,
it was going to be the first time I saw you,
and nothing was going to stop me,
it was an electricity that I couldn't put down ,
and my breath was gone as if there any need for air,
I saw you
and I couldn't help but stare,
the night was slow but gone to fast,
like trying to remember a face from your past,
I need you is all I could muster to say,
and I won't call tomorrow a day,
how could I when I won't be able to see your smile
brighter than the sun,
so I will keep tonight inside my heart but never oot of sight,
I'll say that I still have walls, but that is a lie,
Like headlines written in the night sky,
of my life,
you have become permanent.

Green crash,
suddenly center signal
on strange, distant announcement squiggle.
Scenery dashingly
simple, single.

Wave shape,
hungering scented cower.
On top, beady dispassioned shower,
shaving or scraping a
wooden tower.

Stale grid,
static or sounding static.
Appear, pointedly under attic,
wailing forbidden, not
automatic.

Big screen
messaging: starlight scatter.
The end. Something but antimatter.
Trigger between, in the
ribbing: flatter.

Soft board,
terribly outer terror
perceives singular, stringent error.
Coughing accordingly
code propeller.

It seems like
Everyone I know
Is finally
Getting the help
And love
They deserve
Because they've finally
Grabbed the rope
To get out of
This pit
And to finally
Be happy

And I don't know
What I'm doing
Wrong

Or why
I can't seem to
Grab onto
The rope
Dangling right infront
Of my
Eyes.

-e.w.

I
promise
that
I'm
trying
my
hardest
but
I'm
thinking
that
I'm
not
going
to
make
it.

-e.w.

The beginning:
He needlessly noticed my hidden words.

...He noticed.

Nothing... Wonderfully.
Still alive, deprived of senses,
Fallen in stares... I felt so.

A smile, reversed clock, Number 43, black jumper, her fingers...
Short bordeaux nails, nasty mouse face, enormous glasses, a smile.

Was I feeling through what?
What was I feeling?

High five.
Disappear and appear again, up behind me and at my left...

Our stares, weird clockworks;
I knew there was happening something senseless.

...Behind again. But that's the last time,
that's seventeen-nine. I read it.

I couldn't think I'm thinking about pain,
Although something leaded me astray.
Blinding darkness... Weak, far light...
Far smile.

So I couldn't think consciously
about everything died before its wrong birth.

Moments of pure madness. Insane; escape;
no way.

The last time repeated again, for the last time.

An inexistent history.
Pleasant history pleasantly little.
Nevermore.
Again,
and again nevermore.
Forever.
Disappear.