Someone asked me if I ever thought of ending everything, what made me stay?

Of course, most people will say... because of him or her. But, will my answer be different if I say mine?

If I ever thought of ending everything, and what made me stay. My answer is the future.

I find it solace to answer the future, cause if I ever think of ending everything I'll just think of the future and forget everything. I'm not living for the present, but I'm living for the future. I mean, aren't we all?

When someone made a promise, aren't we waiting for the future? When we decide to do everything, aren't we going to the future?

Basically, everyday is the future. It's like a mystery gift we unbox everyday to find out what's inside.

The future make me want to stay. The future is a gift I love to unbox, yet it maybe happy, sad, or anger but we can always put it on the trash if we don't want it right?

Did you realize something? It's a metaphor that I love to say too. "Put it on the trash if you don't want it." Basically, forget about the past.

Sometimes we might feel like we don't want to continue, or sometimes the opposite. I feel like that too. But what always make me stay is the future, we don't know what the future holds and I still want to unbox it. I still want to hold on for the future.

Every night, I think about texting you again. But will you reply? Absquatulated. You absquatulated me. You left without saying goodbye.

I ruminated everything. Did I do something wrong? I'm waiting, but I shouldn't be.

Sometimes I think, "I'm glad you let me go, cause I wouldn't." But I realized how many times it happened to me. Those little times felt like a million times.

I wish to the heavens, "I hope he see something that reminds me of us, so that he will know how he broke my heart, so that he will know how it felt when he broke my heart."

I cried for the first time writing on my diary. When I wrote something there, it's just anger. But finally, there's another emotion. I cried when i wrote you in my diary, knowing that nothing ever lasts, and you're one of it.

Maybe at the start, you loved me, but little by little, you'll start to hate me. I still love you, but don't even think of me wanting to see you again. Because everything I loved will fade away.

It always crosses my mind, "Do people only love me cause they couldn't find someone to love?" I knew you would do the same thing, but I still chose you. Atleast you know how I love someone, right?
I feel like, I'm just someone's short happiness. When they get tired of it, they leave it and let it be abandoned.

Don't worry, I'll forget you like you forget me. But I feel like it would take a lot of time to forget everything about you.

I miss you, but I hate the fact that I miss you.

Ang buhay ay parang isang nobela,
May mga karakter na papasok sa kwento mo,
Meron silang layunin na gagampanan
Pero hindi magtatagal, sila'y lilisan rin.

Unang kabanata, nandyan na ba sila?
Anong klaseng karakter kaya ang isinulat ng manunulat?
Maisasama ko kaya sila sa kwento kong maulap?

Pangalawang kabanata, meron pa pala.
Anong klaseng aral kaya ang hatid nila?
Hanggang dulo na ba sila?

Pangatlong kabanata, ay dinagdagan pa pala niya.
Hindi ka ba nauubusan ng iisipin, aking manunulat?
Kailan ka kaya mapapagod?

Pang-apat na kabanata, may bago ng pahina.
Anong usapan kaya ang magbibigay kulay sa pahinang ito?
Ikaw at ako, siguro.

Pang-limang kabanata, dagdagan mo pa.
Anong suliranin naman kaya ang maisusulat mo manunulat?
Sana, wag mo akong pahirapan.

Pang-anim na kabanata, kamusta ka na kaya?
Maitutuloy mo pa kaya ang pahina?
Tinatamad ka na bang magsulat?
O naubusan ka na ng tinta?

Pang-pitong kabanata, ang saya.
Salamat manunulat sa pahinang ito,
Patuloy mo pa kaya akong bibigyan ng biyaya? Para matuloy ang ligaya?

Pang-walong kabanata, kay saya naman sa isang nobela
Ang manunulat na ang bahala,
Bahalang mag plano kung anong mangyayari sa kabanata.

Pang-siyam na kabanata, nasa gitna na ba?
Nasa simula pa ba tayo, manunulat?
Kailangan ka kaya mapapagod sa pag-uulat?

Pang-sampung kabanata, bakit naman ganon manunulat?
Ang dami mo namang binigay na problema,
Simple lang naman ang hiniling ko,
Na wag mo akong pahirapan.

Ikalabing-isang kabanata, may tutulong kaya?
"Sino kaya ang tutulong sakin?" Napaisip ang karakter
Manunulat, bibigyan mo pa ba siya ng ligaya?

Ikalabing-dalawang kabanata, saan pa ba patungo ang nobelang ito?
Lahat ng karakter ay lumilisan na,
At nag-iisa na ang pangunahing karakter
Maawa ka naman, aking manunulat.

Ikalabing-tatlong kabanata, may katapusan pa ba ang nobelang ito?
Napapagod na ako, aking manunulat
Bigyan mo naman ako ng pahinga.

Tama na, manunulat.
Nagsusulat pa ba tayo dito ng nobela?
Bakit lahat sila'y lumisan na?
Akala ko ba, hanggang dulo na sila?

Teka, nasa loob ba ako ng nobela?
O sinasalamin ko lang ang sarili ko sa isang nobelang nabasa ko
Tama nga ako, ang buhay ay parang isang nobela,
May sarili itong simula, gitna at wakas
Na akala natin ito'y patuloy na mag-uulat

Naalala ko nga pala,
Ako nga pala ang sarili kong manunulat
Ako ang mag-uulat sa buhay kong maulap
Naalala ko, tayo nga pala ang gumagawa sa sarili nating kahulugan.

Hindi mo naman makikita ang kahulugan mo,
Kung hindi mo bubuksan ang isip mo
At kung hindi mo dadamdamin ang puso mo.

Oh sige na aking manunulat,
Ituloy mo na ang iyong pag ulat
Sa karakter na nais **** bigyan ng kahulugan,
Sa karakter na nais **** maulat.
Sa iyong sariling nobela.