Torn

Torn between a million places,
Their life always filled with too many faces,
Of loved one's lost and tears they create,
Of shattered dreams consumed by so much hate.

But hate is an extraordinarily powerful fuel
I thirst for more; I am never full.
I loved you once, I loved you twice,
If you'd let me, I'd love you thrice.

Left is Right

I had a dream of you with a ring; I had a dream in my dress.
I had a dream you left for good; you left everything a mess…

I had a dream about a hug, another about a tear,
I dreamed I saw your license plate, of how you left everything, so dear.

I had a dream about our baby, she wasn't even born.
In that dream I saw your face, why did it look so torn?

Was all that passion really just a dream? Was it not so real?
Was it just one of those instances, where I just “have to deal?”

I REALLY thought you’d never leave, that WE would always be.
Back then, my tears would’ve made a sea themselves as I cried myself to sleep.

But now I dream of lighter things...of things that aren't so blue.
Perhaps this means your left is right and this chapter of ours is through.

I may be a dreamer but…

How many times?
How many times does it take one to figure it out?

“It sure makes everything seem so small.”  
Is this love still the same, no matter the gall?

I may hate science and still adore chemistry;
I may loathe the story and still love this scene.
  
I may be lucid but you make me insane.
I’d bet you’d call me a liar if I said I could handle the pain.

The pain of opening my heart for you to come in.
The question of the moment: “Is this really love or just aggravation?”  
  
I may not know my path, I can’t follow a map.
But I have good intuition and this doesn’t seem like a trap.

I may be speechless but my words, they speak volumes.
Saying:
I miss you.
I love you.
I need you.
I want you.
I need you.
I love you.
I miss you.
I wish you…

Is it crazy to think that I can still yearn for you? Even when I’m with you?
Because the truth is, I’ll always miss you,
Even though you’ll always be right here.  
Just know when you say “only two weeks,” to me, it sounds like years.

He Said, She Said**

When they said: “Sometimes things just don’t work out,”
I just wanted to scream and shout,
Pull my hair and stomp the ground.
Maybe THIS would make your judgments sound.

Sound like ration, sound like real?
Sound like something I wanted to feel?
I don’t know what she said, they said,
He said, it said, you all said, someone led…

Led me on to really believe,
That all that passion wasn’t just your sleeve,
Where your heart was residin’
Livin’, breathin’, flyin’, ridin’.

“You’ll get nothing more from me,” you said,
“And if I call you one (dark) night,
Don’t bother to turn on the light,
I’ll regain control in a bit.”

“(‘Cause I’m the one with the better wit.)
And you’re just a girl who has to live with it.”

I'm going to the ocean
And never shall I return.
Too wrinkled for a casket,
Too soggy for an urn.
I'll swim until I tire
And sink, peaceful, to the floor.
And down there with the fishes,
I shall dream forevermore.

He paces his room
Like a man in a cell
Waiting for something

Perhaps a deep understanding
Of war and greed
Wondering what could have planted this seed?
Sit and watch other men bleed
Do nothing, it's not for greed!

Perhaps a deep understanding
Of politics and societies
Lies and mediocrities
Unfaithful wives and false democracies
Do nothing, it's for the creed!

Perhaps a deep understanding
Of love and hate
A reason why we practice the late
Day and night
Dark and light
Do nothing, it's not our need!

He paces his room
Like a man in a cell
Waiting for something
If only he could tell

You're dead to me.
A hollow corpse smiling back at me,
through the flickering lights.
Eyes blink,
Close them tight.

You're dead like the dusty gray leaves
that withered away with time.
Or the noises in the walls
that scurried past as we slept.
Quiet,
Slow,
Dangerous, but I've found
a poison more venomous.

his voice echoes continuously through my mind
repeating those same fluid words
like ripples on the surface of an endless pool of water
again and again.
That same photographic memory
of four beautiful seconds
filled with brilliance and easy laughter
is in high definition
playing on an endless loop.
It tears away every outside thought,
accelerating and building in a crescendo
driving out the rest of the world.

his gaze sweeps over me
in its path around the room
and evanescent as it is,
it causes my heart to flutter,
threatening to fly away

I'm left with an image branded on my mind
of eyes the color of antique coke bottles
Those kind eyes
begin to take on a menacing edge
in my memory
piercing deep into me and allowing
intense insecurity and admiration to flood in
as i recall the treasures behind them

Like most artists, he has no clue
that he's an incredible writer
but, as the days pass by in class
we start to let him in on the secret
yet, he still refuses to accept it

his sweet, shy smile
always talks down his brilliance,
clouding his depth
like he almost fears his own words
That expression of near embarrassment
when people enjoy his work,
mixed with the thought that he's so incredible
tears me up
and i strive to measure up
while he simply shrugs it off,
almost unaware of his excellence
like he's staring into a ***** mirror

I find myself thinking about it
in bed at night
when the rest of my anxieties
team up to press me under the day
in a deep, wildly-colored sleep

When the morning finds me
and the sun pulls me back to Earth
I stretch out my arms and
draw in the fresh scent of the new day
but as i fall into my usual routine,
the memories and insecurities and inferiorities
creep up to the surface of my thoughts
and I wonder if I'll ever move past this stage,
listening and admiring from afar

Suddenly an idea strikes me
and i press my pen to my paper
using his medium
to release what I've held in so long

And Death did extend his hand toward Beauty
And Beauty did hang her head and declare herself dead.

Rises to wake
                         gathers ingredients to his recipe
Bakes
           the darkness away

Feeling good until his ingredients run to none

Hey baby, it’s three in the morning
Time has just flown by without any warning
But I need to get my daily dose of you
Before I have caught a love flu

Like a medicine? No, more like a drug
Embracing me like a gentle warm hug
One dose puts a smile on my face
Two doses steal my heart away without a trace

But how it torments and suffocates
When I can’t have it, it agitates
Yet the more I am used to its bittersweet
The more I need to consume to defeat

I would breakdown if you take it away from me
As you can already clearly see
You are the drug that I abuse
The remedy to my sickness as I deduce

So please, if you are not harmful to my body
I would like to maintain this dangerous harmony
Getting addicted is not an issue
As long as you are the one that I cling to