fill my bones with clouds

so you can rest upon me

forever

I took a sip of my coffee

and i thought to myself

"i wonder what her lips taste like now"

engulf me into your skin

swallow me

together we will strive for a different life

drown me in your hopes

maybe all is not lost for me...

in your eyes
i see no one else but  you
and me sinking in your heart
slowly slowly

yeah you
see yourself in my own eyes
and me drowning in my mind

yeah you and i
see nothing
but each other
and each of us
loves to sink into each others skin

When we first met
I thought u were Strange
Weird...
But you ended up being my best Friend
Once I knew you more
You were ...hilarious...knowledgable
My brother....

Time goes on and we change
I found a girl who touched my heart
You continued to be the "Lone Ranger"
Too man to cry
Too "man" to even be your own self

Adventures we had
The laughs that left us breathless
Are now just memories
We barely see eachother
We barely talk
We said we would be best friends...brothers
But now I'm not sure

We're on two separate paths
That...it's too late to make u walk back to come on my side
I hope one day u can cut through

I love you
Even if I dont talk to you
I miss you ..my brother
I hope one day we can somewhat
Expirience
The old days

Lips
Nibbles on my cheek
Never
Will i Forget
The eyes
Of green

And the kisses of summer

There's nothing left

Just us two

Holding hands

Prepared to survive

"We can do it"
"We can do it together"
We repeat it like a song

We are ready

As we hold hands

i want  flowers to start growing out of my brain


so that  my eyes can turn into melting sweet honey

In sleep you find comfort
In your crafts you find inspiration
In your pets you find love
But in the people you love
And who love you back
You find criticism
Short tempered
And anoyyed
In the presence of a Stranger
God forbids you speak up
You would take the word of a stranger that would comment about your appearence
But from the ones who love you a chuckle of disbelief escapes your breath
My love yes
I do wonder of our
F
U
T
U
R
E

Why are you so distant from the earth

i can't  reach you anymore

and pull you in close to me

oh ohhh oh

snowing on the hearts of love

were did it all go

those shivers
of octobers fall
oh oh ohhh

slipped away
like the rain
off my tanned skin
Gone
like  the summers ray
never did i
feel so alive
oh oh ooo

driving down the night
smiling like the moon
thought i  was better
but am just rushing time

gotta sit back
and see the worlds fumes
pass on by

oh boy

It's starting to feel comfortable
Passible
Starting to feel  a little less..."weird"
With My surroundings
I still feel disconnection
From something
From somewhere
Something picking at my brain
I need to mold  myself still

But it's starting to feel comfortable
Tolerable

But I still feel a disconnection.

From someone

My bed is cold
My skin crawls
Goosebumps
On my heart
I run into bed
For warmth, but your arms aren't there
I tangle myself in my blanket
But it's not the same without your legs
And body , closing me in

The morning
Unknown day
Unknown feeling

Sad that your not here
I think I'll indulge myself
In a fantasy world

I could stare st myself
Endlessly
Never knowing who I am

This body
This mind

uncontrolable

Like the sea

Who am I
Who am I

Endless thoughts
Like the aquatic sea

I get lost, lost like a star without it's moon
Lost when i stare into her crystal eyes
Green like the leaves, after a rainy hour
The summer
Blue like ocean disappearing off the horizon

The sun burned through the window
Onto my heart
I realized i have fallen
Fallen
To deep
To deep

My Bones feel to numb
I feel to weak
When i
See her
Beauty
Turning my eyes

Her smile
Oh, her smile
Get's me
Get's me
Lost...

I just wanna be alone

For at least a second

Away
From EVERYONE
Just be in the solitude

Comforted with my thoughts

...making me feel at home
as i lay on an open field
with autumn leaves
dancing with the autumn sunset

*love love
love love

The sun Fell
Each step burning
The heat nibbles at my feet
And my bones
Buried under leaves
And you cold hands
Wrapped around me

Hanging over me
The drops of  melting years

Dreams becoming cold
Lingering words
Lingers on my mind
I have no choice now
But to hug my sins
That are driving me old

Memory's of that afternoon
Breaks Through like a wave
Escaping now
Disappearing now
old days...

Talk to me
With the sound of your teeth
Eating at my nerves

Wanting to breath
Under water,
Burnt liquid
Troubles my guts

Oh how i love
To see you glimmer
Over the city

Turning tight
Forever forgot
Fast alive
gasping for love...

Hey,stop
Painting on your knees
Hey,stop
Breaking your fists
Who are you?
Who are we?

Grey clouds
Peering over the city
The sun in the back trying to be known
Trees frantically thrashing against eachother
the wind ,pushes  us back
But the sun
Shines on your face and warms your forehead
Then it goes away

The days have gone by fast
City living ,people around you
Always in a rush somewhere

Makes you go fast
Makes you think fast
Fast,quick ,be there soon
Give me 5 minutes
Give me a sec
I gotta go

In nature is where I want to be
Surrounded by trees and sky
Mountains and animals
A little house
In the middle of it all

Goodbye city
Goodbye
Fast living

Trust me
My love

If I knew that I would have ended up with you

I would have done eveything different

Everything...

And you wouldnt be so hurt

Trust me my dear love

If I KNEW I was gonna have you
Hold you
Kiss you
Love you

I...
Wouldn't feel so guilty

Tell me the storys
they have told you
The songs they sung for you
all that touched you
all those who went right by you
tell me of the ones you rained on for
was it to make them sad?
or make them sing in the rain?
or for the passionate lovers to kiss?
tell me all those clouds you met
were they as nice as you
did they let you dance with them
did some  of them let you show what you can be?
tell me Mr.cloud
is the sky the limit?
or futher?

Tell Me Mr. cloud
did you find love?
with a girl
in a big  blue dress?
and blue eyes?
as you paddled on the river...

Oh all the happiness you can bring

and when you held my hand

i lost all feeling from my head to my toes
from my head to my toes

i lost all feeling

through my bones
through my veins


when you held my hand tightly

It's not that I want
It's that I can't
I don't know who you are
Nether do I know myself
I feel a gap in my brain
A gap in knowledge
Sitting in dark class
Is everyone alone
Or everyone together
Alone
All of us
Even with companys
We're alone
Stuck in the world we have created

The world still turns
Like it always has

Like it always will

But it doesn't feel the same

This world
Our world

What do we do

What have I done

What will I do

This world
My world

I am confused

Heads heavy
Eyes lids hanging
Dragging limbs
Messy hair
No light comes through the windows
Only the pink pink sky
The world looks asleep
So why should I be up ?

I want to go through life
like a breeze
not caring for anything
and the puzzle pieces
fall in there places
as i stretch along my years
but to many things happen
all at once
trying to make myself feel happy and free
but when all the pieces fit
there's always that one that breaks
and will never fit

...i lost a friend today...
on a rainy day....but i did not cry
but i wish i did
...i wonder what i did...

....and i wanna walk up to the girl
that i love and kiss her....
but my fear of reality kicks in....
and i never do anything....
i wish i did though.....
but am stupid cause i want to
know everything...
and i know thats bad....

oh what a day
oh what a day...

i want to cry
but
i can't....

the
sun
rose
in
my
head
and
i
felt
differently

its summer now
i dont know,what to say
neither do i know the day
erasing my mind  everyday
like a bad drawing
down my lungs
and out my lips
in through  my eyes
in my brain
the clouds dance
and tell  me to sink into the grass
i cant stand
i wont walk
ill actually go crazy....
you dont understand
no...
she dips her legs in the pool behind her house
and i walk in the water up to my knees
in this pond surrounded by trees
with rocks under my feet
i feel the waves in my bones
true peace,rests  in my mind

I can't take it

I can't take it

I can't take it

I can't take it

the sound of the trumpet

off in the distance

puts my brain to my sleep

and i fall into a  deep dream sleep

Dooooooooooooo
Dododooooooo

"No I'm not "
She says
Sadly and disappointed with herself
"But you are!"
I say
Confidently that her beauty kills me slowly everyday

You can point out your flaws
But I see beauty and perfection
I've said it already too much
That the words don't even mean anything
If seeing is believing
I would do anything
To show you my love
That you're beautiful!!!
Even if  you have flaws
So do I!
Our imperfections make us perfect

You are
You are you are

I wish there was an action
To show you my love
That you are
Beautiful

Days in the summer


Dazed in the summer


My minds a bit tired
" I'll take a break "

Seems to never happen


Hidden away in my room
In the dark

I don't like light


Only you

I never thought I would be
Staring at the stars
laying on the frozen grass
Or running after the night
With you

At night
When world bursts with beauty
And when our cold lips touch
My bones shiver

Shiver
With happiness

It's been
Aproximetly
1320 days
Since that day
You became my clementine
And I became your valentine

A dream we both hold
Lays in the midst
And sometimes it's hard to even see it within our grasp
But late at night
When we are together
And  I turn my head to look at you
And when I look at you
Your eyes are closed
And your billions of worlds away
And when a soft breath
Escapes
Your soft lips
I know you are the one for me


But sometimes you are asleep
When you are awake
I cannot blame you
It must be hard being stuck in your own head...more then most

You know your my hearts beat

Love , my darling

But....




Is it that hard to say





"How you doing?"

rip off your skin
and wrap me in it


ill die happy
with the wetness of your lips on my forehead

sometimes
i never wanna wake up

I want to believe
Not know the world is round

"Get up, get up
Walking!
Sleeping..no
Keep on moving
Slowly
Good morning and good sunshine"

Midicronia/San Francisco

heads so full

and some times light

when i see your smile

oh. so windy
can't light my smoke

**** me now
id rather live in winter time
then in dark times

eyes so full

oh so tired

ill go to bed

I have always hated the thought
Of living forever

As I grow older
I see how how much
I do wanna live forever
With my mother and  my sister
My father and most of all of my baby girl

I talk to my family that lives far from I
And it saddens that some of them are closer to death

Death how horrible

Wouldn't it be better if we could decide when to die

God or not ?
Why have I found myself
Questioning my own beliefs

now tell me
why your heart beats
oh so loud

and tell now do you look
like the moonlight shine
on a winter cold night

now
please
sleep next to me on this field
of fall were leaves dance about in our imagination

were i can stare and the red raspberry clouds spread there arms
for
us

my body is leaking through the cracks on my desk
im tired of the voices around me
im tired of all its fakeness
the scent of liquor lingers on my shirt
and  it reminds me  of the night before
my words are leaking through  peoples knowledge
they seem to be confused
they seem to be lost
but as lost as me?
i certainly do not know
winter is now printed on the city
everyone walks with there chin close to there chest
and there hands in there pockets
i wonder howll ill keep warm half the time
but i know i have her to warm me up
with her tight hugs and her soft kisses
i know i have her so i can talk to her
and she'll make me feel better
my heart is mellow
and i all i want is to  feel her light touch on my back

the sun burned my eyes
andi  dug my head into my pillow
my socks almost fell off
and my shirt twisted around my body
the hair that rested upon my head
was messy as hell,

i hopped out of bed
and saw the snow melting
as i drank my coffee
i felt cool down my body

i thought to myself
as i drank it
"what a **** lovely day!"

walked out with a smile

and lost my head in the clouds

and fell in love with thoughts of what i'll be
doing for the rest of the day

Came back home
and hopped on my bed
the sun was out
and the moon came on

and i thought
to myself

"what a **** lovely day today!"

and fell asleep with the
foggy air

the feeling inside my chest


Bursting into my brain

"  I miss you"

I wanna play with your hair

Honey of fall
pours over the city

Trees grow tired and loose their leaves

The grass stops growing and goes to sleep

clouds turn grey
and the sun hides away

and i stay standing
in the middle of the field
the wind breaks through my clothes
and into my bones
oh how i shiver
oh how my bones shiver

and there she walks
pass the golden trees
with the smile that touches
the sun and moon
and her eyes like clouds in day
and the stars at night
her hair flows gracefully
like the wind breezing through the grass

oh how lovely
how lovely

and there i stand
cold and shivering
with a face thats rough
and brown hazel eyes
that are tired
black messy hair
dry hands
and i stand slanted

yet she holds my hand
my cold hands
yet she does
she does...

and you where there
in front me...
breathing softly
digging your hand in the other
your brown hair sleeping on your shoulders
i didn't know you then
but i thought
"this is going to be great"
i didn't know you then
and i dont know you now
after all the pages we written
smudges
and ink running out
you changed me
....
so much
we were strangers then
and we are strangers now
giving looks
looks
that make me remember
of all the things we did
"and now?"
**i ****** it up

My heart went in a flurry

when you looked up...

rage in my head
my eyes go blind
my heart goes black
everyone seems peaceful
buts whats in their heart
to disappear or not
thats the question
to live in the woods
and find that light in my veins
youre eyes pierce through me
but your voice cuts me deep
everyone should feel this
but not everyone should feel this...
peace in my finger tips
this love grows strong
my heart grows big
whats in her heart i wanna know
but whats in this universe
i wanna die

Darling can you please

Take my hands

my cold hands...


i know there cold
but they can be warmed by yours

take it

and slowly walk onto the river with me

and lets dance

please

darling

take my cold hands and take my melting heart
and drip onto yours

i know my heart is weary

but its worth something

to prove myself
that i can
be yours....

How long can we do this


Make eachother sad

Make eachother hate each other

I don't know if I can do this

No....ill try

A bit more

in my veins
her blood runs

oh

in my brain
her footprints lay