Dressed for cold
we met in the park

On a cold fall night

Were the only people awake
were us

walked until the morning came
walked with smiles on our faces

we were together
we were happy

Oh how i loved
the cloudy sky
and the way the air made my nose cold
cold enough to see my breath

walking on the derserted streets by your side

standing on a cliff listening to river flow away

and the lights of the wolrd made the world shine

played in the playgroud

and walking on a narrow step
trying to keep our balance  

oh the night was alive

oh how alive

we sat in a gazebo
quiet we were

wanting to kiss
but to shy

what a lovely way to spend the night
with you

with you

oh how lovely
your bright green eyes are

and your raspberry smile

how lovely
you are

Tell me your thoughts
of the deadly winter
and i'll"will say
"come under the covers with me
and follow my steps"
even though oh
my steps are faulty
i'll lead you the best way i can ohh

oh with these snowy flakes
take me away
with your -40 kisses
so we can freeze this moment time

OH OH Ohhhh
I'll tell you dear
my thoughts on the deadly winter

and you will say

"good, cause all i wanna do is sleep by your side
as the world freezes outside"

" I've been busy"
sleeping,drinking,smoking
its a routine
thats implanted into my blood
everyday is beautiful,
but everyday I'm dead
walking  through everyones eyes
no one sees me
no one knows me
but every one hates me

her touch
that i know so well
brings me to life
with her smile
that rhymes her clear eyes
her clear eyes
her blue eyes
oh i know what makes me move on

his voice i know so well
his laughter that makes me cry
a friend who's become my brother
reminds me of my father
when i see him looking out the trains window
with sadness lingering down  his eyes
oh i know  what makes me move on

with every one laughing behind  there emotions
i lay there staring
with smoke in my eyes
oh I've gone blind
and no one yells
out for me
I'm falling through
my beds mattress
searching for comfort i cannot find

oh you know what i feel
but you still have the guts
to cut me up
you know what i say
but you still have the nerve
to take what i say away from me

no more please
let me melt
let me die
through your skin
cause your the only one
that makes me warm
forever

I like to drink coffee

I like to put my nose
on the edge of the cup
so the steam go's up my nose

I like eating an egg sandwich
with ham and salami
and a lot of ketchup

I like watching the yoke
spilling out to the sides

I like standing on outside
in the morning
so the cold hits my morning eyes

I like to imagine kissing the girl i love
under the rain
or snow
or sleep beside them on winter mornings
and have weird conversation

I like feeling like i don't why
were i am,who i am
or who anybody is
as if i was born again

I like chewing my nails
so the more skin then nail

I like the curve of lips
cause since my first kiss
i find something interesting in them

I like seeing the beauty in tiny things
even a drop of water falling off a leaf

I like to listen to music
and imagine am playing the song with a band

I like imagining  my life is a movie
with the cool camera shots

I like taking pictures
of many things

I like walking a lot
and taking the train a lot

I like to see people walking by  me
imagining what their life is like

I like having odd conversation topics
with my friends
that we end up looking at each other
and laughing...

I guess am weird like that

the soft snow bed
that lays on top of  the mountains
melting down
into the frozen lake
with soft slippery rocks
that feels good to drown your feet in
and feel the cold water dig under your finger nails
your hear beat,slowing down
you feel the clouds move
and you feel your skin streching
and for the first time
the trees became your best friend
the wind becoming music
to your brain

you slowly open your eyes
and slowly part your dried lips

you whisper in a sleepy voice
"i never felt so alive"

honey
crawling into my skin
down my veins
in my heart
"i feel like i'm crying honey"
the wind  is going through my brain
i feel its wind softly drifting in my skin
"oh man,oh man"
got the feeling
of putting october in a tea cup
"is it a new me"
i have realized the pure beauty of sunsets
fire  dancing with clouds, in each others arm
they burn the sky
"i love tea,with a lot honey"
kisses are nice
"im really bad it though"
i have accepted the fact that i am
"oh but they are wonderful"
its like clouds pecking the cheek of fumes
that comes from your foggy cup
poetry written on your skin
as you love everything around you
pen ink for your blood
for we love to write!
" oh poetry i love it"
and why is that?
" it can give words, but not the definition to the unspeakable!"

.......**i just love honey tea and red sunsets

cookies crumbling in my mouth
tea burning my teeth
slowly making the cookie crumbles
melt onto my gums...
i sat layed on my old couch
next to the big window
in the living room
the sunset creeping through the curtains
painting my skin gold
the tea fumes
slowly  disapearing into the thin air
......
i wondered
and wondered
"why?"
....
"i dont know"
responding to my own
question
laughing softly...
the tv was on
playing a movie
my eyes tired
my hands sinking in my couch...
happy..
happy..

i wanna hold
hold...

ohhh
oh these cranberry lips
left by the mark of yours...

whistled
whistled
in my ears
and now i can't get that beautiful tone out of my
cold ears

oh
ohhh
felt the hairs on my arms
stand
when your
finger tips
oh ohh
touched
touch....

now i felt
ohhh
oh
the snowflakes
grow
ohhh
on my veins

watch my eyes
turn
turn
oooooo
when
she walks down
that
ohhh
leafy grove
ooo
oo

can't?
can't you..
feel my rosemary eyes
curling your toes

ohhh
ohh
cause your windy legs
makes me forget
ohh
ohh
about those...
those
ohhh
oh
you
oh
wanna dance?
oh
with my arms around your waist
and with my our..
ohhh
forheads touching

now
nowww
now
let me see your
your
night eyes
ohh
oh
lovely you are...
you are..
darling

The world is hot


Too hot in the cold places
Everything melts

Too hot in class my brain melts

I wanna  be high

Walking in the winter

Or windy day in fall

TO **** HOT

So cozy

So warm

You're my sleeping pill

You're my blanket

I am a
Flower

She is the
Rain

I have a heart of red roses
and eyes of purple lily's
a mind of wild flowers
and hands of dried orchids

I am a Flower

She has a heart of a warm lake
and eyes of a big sea
a mind of a deep blue ocean
and hands of cold rain

She is the Rain

I need the Rain
to live
to grow
Without Rain
I dry up
like my hands
and die

But she rains
on other flowers
and not me
and i am drying up
like my orchid hands

and i wait for her
to rain on me

My  days are a blurr
My feeling is gone
Am floating on clouds
flying
through the water of the clouds
My brain laughs
My eyes cry
my teeth  stick out more an ever
i Don't know were i went
I dont know were am going
Am forgetting all as the seconds pass
I dance all out
no caring what the birds think
i sing aloud
not caring what the gods think
burning the floor with my feet
i dont care
i dont care
come to me
and tell me you hate me
i would laugh
i would laugh
the whole night long

i dont wanna waste my time
become another casualty
in society
ill never fall in line
become another victim of your conformity
and break down

11th month

November2013:
November 1st
We sat on a river bank
the rocks around us built so you could sit
My friend Jack looked at me with his green eyes
"this your first  time right?"
i nodded as i dug my heels in the sand and rocks
"you'll take the first hit"
he handed over the pipe
and lit it for me
I inhaled and i felt the smoke filling my lungs
filling my brain
the air escaped  my nose and teeth
and i felt my  eye lids being pulled down
and my heart beating fast
a smile grew on my face
Jack and i laughed till we dropped
She was still in my head...

The rest of november is a blur
i remember i was dancing
and singing, blasting the music in my house
resting,writing poetry,biking at night
filling my lungs with smoke
and dreaming

the days started to get colder
and more winter
christmas carols came on the intercome
and tv specials, getting you excited
I would still see Kirsten
We would just smiled as we passed each other
everything changed
She told me she started liking someone new
I told her i did to
i really didn't...

one day i took the train with my friends
and got off the station alone
it was cold and snow started to fill our streets
i walked down the stairs
And ran into a friend
her name was Lola
She looked up to me
and i to her
we were happy  to see each other
i told her how my year was going so far
and she told me she was enjoying her year
We hugged and said goodbye
we started talking everyday after that
She started to like me a lot
I liked her...

Days were passing fast
Kirsten still at the back of my head
the cold was getting colder
and was freezing me to bone
i turned up my radio
and dreamed away,
Jack told me he wanted to start a band
i was excited

November 30th
I met a girl named Emma
.....

and your smile starts it all


and i said " why....even the music dances"

soft whistling in my ear

*my heart couldn't take it

" I ain't happy , I'm feeling glad i got sunshine, in a bag, I'm useless but not for the long , the future is coming on"

~gorillaz/Clint Eastwood

walking in the rain
and i felt my bones growing old
with each drop
witch each step
and the piano plays in my head
oh it plays
just reminding me
when i used to run
instead of crawl
all i wanna do is grab my rope
tie it around the moon
fly around world
so that my eyes fill with its beauty
like the notes of the saxophone
on that night,chilling night
were i saw you sitting in the cafe
drinking out of that cup
and you looked down that cup
looking for something important
maybe you were looking for me?
hoping you saw my reflextion wither delicately
you didn't know i stood outside, as the snow
took me away
with the notes repeating in my head
and my eyes flew
and i run through these woods avoiding
those traps i might fall down
pretending i need to go somewhere
well i kinda do
i just wanna scream in a group of people
out to the stars
NA NANANA NANA NAA
and the stars would come and fall asleep on our cold hearts
dancing with those smiles
of raspberry memories
laughing at our jokes
we end up crying
you'll be watching from your window
wondering why why why
oh i'll just watch smile on by
with  my cold fingers leaving marks in the air
traveling through my hair

oh man
"just fall asleep in the grass"
they said

i put on a big smile
and fell back

Delight is a girl, with brown hair and curvy raspberry lips,blue eyes and a crooked smile.She had one tooth that was pushed in on the side of her mouth, but it just added to her smile.Frail fingers and bitten nails,she was quite short but with long legs,and a button nose.She liked listening to music as she filled her room with smoke and dreaming. She was 24 and lived in a wooden house in europe near a lake.

Noel was boy, with black hair and and a small prickly beard growing on his face. he has brown eyes and light skin. His teeth are white but a bit yellow. big hands and bitten nails she was quite tall with big feet, or maybe its just his shoes. he was a tattoo of a balloon on his index finger he says"it means that i will always float on with my life." he likes writing poetry as he drank wine and smoked. He was 23 and lived not far  from Delight  and always biked everywere he went to.

Delight and Noel are friends since  his was 12 and she was 13. they sat near a lake and the water glimmered with the green trees lingering above the world.  eating sandwich's that he made. They talked...

Delight- so hows that one girl?

Noel-She left...

Delight-...how sad...

Noel- sure it is....Hows that one boy?

Delight- He left also, found a girl with a better body figure.

Noel-****! i never liked him since i first saw him.

Delight-Whatever...he's gone.Why did she leave?

Noel- she said " you dont hold me right"

Delight- your kidding!

Noel- nope..

they break into laughter

Noel- i sure am a lousy guy... cant even hold a girl right

Delight-  sure you can... just need to find a girl who apreciates your touch and your poetic mind.

Noel- Youre the only girl who likes my poetic mind...

Delight- So maybe am meant for you...

Noel-...nah i dont like your crooked tooth...throws me off...

Delight- i dont like your big lousy feet anyway. always stepping on me, and hurting me.

laughter breaks from there mouths

Noel-... but  i sure do love your smile when you laugh, your tooth makes it unique

Delight- and i find it cute how many times you say sorry and give that look of worry on your face when you land your huge foot on me.

*they smile not looking at eachother...and there hands slowly ravel together

I miss those days

i really do

you know those days

the sunset clouds
streching arcross the sky sea
the color of peach
and bleeding strawberrys
the crying blueberry clouds
the bright blue  sky pushing it away
all in the horizon
it almost looked a forest fire

We sat under it all
the fallen yellow leaves
flying on the air
and landing on our head
stickling to our hair

those fall days
i miss them

...passed through me
and gave me a chill
and the frost, bit my ears
and whispered in it
flew away into the thin air
of the world

my shoes sank deep into the snow
and my head went blank for forever
my finger tips numbed
and my eyes feeling refreshed

those words
passed through my bones
and entered my brain and stayed there

"don't feel this sour feeling no longer
take the honey of the future and let it defrost your bones
..frozen of these shattered hopes"

i cant stand here no more
for the winter will eat me

i got things i want to do

i wont let the ice stick me to the ground for all internity

my closed my eyes
shut

opened my eyes
and there i stood in the summers warm dew

i fell back and fell
in the green sea

and dreamed my bones
being touched by flowers

spinning like a record player
laugh hollers out my lungs
the sky and the sun became a beach for me
the clouds
washing against my face
We all sat out on a porch
smoking cigarettes
as the sun fell
they offered me a smoke
"no thanks"
two went back inside and sat and watched tv
three stayed outside and still conversed
my friend wearing sunglasses
he sat down on a wooden chair
taking a hit from he's cigarette
letting the smoke coming out of his nose
he said"guys i don't think a girl would want to sleep with me
if i smell like tom ford and cigarettes"

laughing away
until am water

snowing
on me, and i was warm...


turned into snow
and traveled the sky's

fell on a tree
and sleept endlessly

until the moon
and sun kissed

She has the most rarest eyes

Bluer then blue
Whiter then white

Intense
But calming

She is the most rarest girl

Loving me
Being patient with me

Just bearing with me

****
I love you

Deep inside
I hate myself

I love you
Thank you

Your bones are white
like a full moon
on an aqua night
like clouds
in a raspberry sunrise

And now you walk
on green grass
barefoot

walking
walking
on
summer mornings
looking back at me
with a white cloud smile

And i say
"darling,oh darling
walk
until you see the sun
creep over the green hills
until you see the milky moon
cuddle with the grey rain cloud
until your heart is red
red
like the leaves in fall....
WALK
WALK WITH YOUR
BRAVE WHITE BONES!
on the orange sun's ray."

There she went
walking
walking with her naked toes

into the sea we go
swim all the way to the bottom
until we find the ocean in us
ohh ohh ohh

now tell now tell
were does the time go when your
head hits the clouds
WHOA
i took a bit of you
and you took a bit of me
i guess we all ******

oh oh oh oh
grass skin grows on my bones
and am growing out of this winter
running with the air that intangles me

now am flying
flying
oh oh oh oh
looking
finding
the way i should hold your heart
in my eyes

oh oh now tell me
tell me
tell me
were did the time go
when my head hit the clouds
in early september?!

10th month

October 2013:
I went to the cafe
with my best friend Becca
she ordered something to eat
i ordered a tea
i told my adventures with kirsten so far
to all of it she answered
" You two together yet?"
i replyed
" no not yet, i hope soon."
a couple of days after she told
me she just wanted to be friends
i was sad and all, but i was fine with it
She came over my house one morning
we watched a movie
"Love story"
after we went to my room i showed her my poetry
and climbed on the bed and held hands
We went outside
and biked around for awhile
it was like a movie.

the week to come
we had another night advenutre
it was cold that night
but we ran a lot
sat on a river bank
listened to music
and ran off into a golfcourse
near a pond
we threw our glowsticks in
and layed in the grass
ran through sprinklers
and laughed

Fall was starting to make more of an opening
more cold
more colors were breaking in
me and my friend janessa rode the train
one afternoon before thanksgiving
up and down the town we went
enjoying every moment

thanksgiving came
and kirsten came over my house
she kissed me
and we spent the night
in eacothers arms
We enjoyed it
so we did it a couple of more times
after that night
i remember waking ine morning
with her lip marks on my neck

the last week of october
came around the corner,
Kirsten once again told me
she  did not want to be with me
just friends
i accepted it,though i did not want to
i could do nothing
my words were nothing
we spent  five days together
i like to refer to them
" the last five days of friendship"
after those five days
something went wrong
and we barely spoke anymore

it snowed terribly
before Halloween
Otober advenures ended
and ****** november came

Teeth marks on my neck
oh teeth Marks on your chest
the feeling so great
with the most comfortable pain
oh i keep pulling
you keep tugging
and we wont satisfied
till our skin encounters
shivering,shy to meet
they've met,feel those goosebumps reach your  brain
no i never felt no better thing
then the touch of skin
yeah i feel like honey
sinking in these lovely bones
i step out of my mind
cause i cant believe
no i gotta step in
cause i wanna believe
youre the one
i need need need to hear  your heartbeat
to know youre here
cause maybe im not
cause youve got me to high
my feet touches the clouds
sinking in through the earth
never gonna stop
cause you me to high
my mind is touching the moon
never coming down
cause im crowded by stars

I stopped smoking ****

At least for a while

My head feels clearer

My motivation slowly comes back

I slowly feel joy in the simpler things

Sometimes it's good not to be high all the time

But sometimes it's great to be high all the time

Your Flower Lips
And your summer hands

Touch my frosty lips
and touch my icicle ribs

you melt me
you melt me

as you leave your rose lips on my neck

Stuffy nose
Stuffy head
Feel like my mind is breaking down
My lungs are pushing out this phlegm
Maybe I should quit  ciggies
But the ciggies won't quit me

Staying high makes me feel better

But the stuffy nose
And constent blowing of it
Makes me lose my breath
And it won't stop

I love to bike
I love to be outside

Congested feeling

Oppressed feeling

Joy in the future

The struggles
Are yet to come

The hardest parts
Are yet to hit

But..
There's joy in the future

In your arms
Or in my own

I   Am excited

the night was cold

but we were warm

as our skin touched

as our lips melted upon each other

she made a path with her finger on my bare ribs

and i made a path on her bare back with my finger

we kissed our honey lips

and our rose petal skin touched

beautiful the night

beautiful she was

oh
we have each other

uggg i have words now
now i have them in my mouth
oh i wanna say it!
MAYBE it will change your mind
about choosing me
MAYBE it will make you come back?
I HAVE words now
leaking at my **** tongue
"am i beautiful?"
YES you are
you
but how do you want me to describe
your golden brown hair resting your rosemerry cheek
and how do i decribe the way your  upper lip is could pale
and your bottom lip rose pink!
and the way your upper lip rests sofly upon your bottom lip
HOW do i decribe
these words
that taste like honey
because there are sweet, my words
" this song is amazing!"
no its not!
it is something more
how do i describe the way a certain  beat reminds  me  of your beating heart
upon my chest
how do i describe the way it makes my heart
and my bones dance
HOW
oh i have words now
of my problems
how do i scream them out
so evertthing will be better
and my  happy parts
how do i laugh them out
for they are gorogeus!

OH I HAVE WORDS NOW
clinging on my teeth pouring off my tongue
I HAVE WORDS NOW
and i dont know how to say them...

See my smiles

Don't reach your heart

My touch

Slipping out of your hand

Falling in love again
With you  

I'd relive it everyday

three of us
sat a table
as one of us had peanut butter
and the two of us has ichiban soup
discussing the things that came to mind

We walked to our favourite street walking to one end
to the other

we watch the river flow

strolling down a narrow path
filled with green ad yellow leaves
as falls comes in


We come on this little
beach

one of us sits on a rock
the other takes pictures
and me skipping rocks across the water

we start walking back
as we stop at  a unique bush
as we discuss what it could be called
one of us say
"in french its pronounced  "seul pleurer" "

we're quiet for some time
breathing in the moment
we have

we talk about the seasons we love
we laugh
we're friends

cloudy afternoon
happy
afternoon

good days

You're not sick
You're heathly
The things we do normally could become a struggle
Like swallowing
When we feel good
We forget  how deadly sick we can get

The art of feeling good
Is quite the thing
What I would do to feel good

Your old arms are warm
and your brain has turned to coffee
i sit the morning grass barefoot
seeing the october leaves fall gently in summer
holding its beauty in the rim of my iris
just like the love i hold for you
stuck on very buried word i pronounce

i've fallen again in the water of fire
summer walks
dark city's
and liquid hugs
all held on the tip of my eyelashes

oh, skin turning
skin wrapping
around your blue knees

oh,your blanket fingers
your flower lips
and your melting hips
i want to drown in it all
and swallow it all in

You said loudly
''i    frail    packs    afraid    shore    you''
i never understood it
until i lost my imaginative mind in the rain
you simply meant to say
" i am frail,am tired of digging in my cigaret packs  every time the sun stops shining on my love.
am just afraid to land your  shore of love, cause i don't want to ruin the grooves of the sand."

oh darling
say no such thing
for i have waited for the moment
that your love would spread
like orchid laughter

all i need
is the drips of love
you run to from my head to my toes

all i want is
tongue bites...

Her eyes I love
Her smile I adore
Her golden fire hair burns me inside
Her look , twisting
Her smile , melting
Her touch that makes me freeze

Get me get me
Into a trance
I'll follow u anywhere

My love

Kiss
MY
Milk
And
Honey
Lips

And let me hold
Your beautiful
Summer body

And as the paint drips
From our heads
We stare in our ocean eyes  
And
Drown...

your moon hands
your summer bones
Shine
on these water mornings

my mind is gone
because its buried in deep clouds
imagining
the sun's rays resting on my shoulder
as you lay your head  deep in the grass

11:00
and we dance to song we love
11:30
we fall on floor tired
and we sleep
5:00
we wake
and it rains softly
we laugh
6:00
we lay on the couch
in the arms of one another
we watch a movie

sitting outside on the grass
we talk
of things on the top of our head
we fall in deep sleep
as we talk
of we'll do tomorrow

Falling from  my eyes
the hours
the minutes
until the new day
new year
breaks in

and i am a new person

the last day
nice and relaxing

my skin feels like syrup
i miss her touch...

the last day
i hopes it over soon
and wait for a new day
better day
pure as rain
and as snowflakes

i wait for a new day....

These sunny days
Oh, how they beat me down
Let's not go back
To the days
That made us tired and old

Come on let's run
Let's run right through the grass
And sing loud songs
And fall asleep
In each others arms

In these summer beds

Another night

To bed to bed

I love my bed and my sleep

Forget what I've done

At least for a bit

its been 6 months
6 months more
and itll be like its been a dream
water like time
draining out months
i dont remember everything
but i do remember  you
thus i know it had to be good
oh i dont remember eveything
-im sorry-
but i know it felt good
right from the very sounds that poured from your mouth
and the way your eyes rolled back
and shutting them tight

we've said it 1000 times
and we'll always say it one more time

even though youre mad
ill make u smile
even though youre sad
ill make you laugh
even if youre happy
ill make you ecstatic


-im sorry-

im so ******

i know!

Stop

What your thinking


You  are wrong


Stop

Feeling heart broken

'Cause you're mistaken

Change
It can be fine
Scary,fun
It can make  you  sad
It can make u happier
But change
Is always coming
That's scary...
But I wish some things stayed the same
I wish some memories would last forever ...
The  complex   way of life we live
Makes me cry when I'm drunk
I wish we lived more simple
More natural
But we all think to much
We all care to much
We want...to much

Sometimes I'm glad I'll  die someday
I won't need to expirience the death of the world ...I hope
But I'll  miss the beauty of life
Yeah
I'm pretry sure I will

Shaking my head
you dancing around me
starting to fill my bones
i ask myself why
you just keep on tapping your feet

gave in
and the light just grabbed my heart
threw at the moon
well im gone
forever
dancing my tears away

and the stars
tell me
to glide across there glow
and i wouldnt be more happy

time
filled up in my skin
im tired of turning
i want to keep still
now...

so tell me
tell me
whats the purpose of you crying
and me laughing
come join me

My chest caving in
But in a good way

My stomach turns
But in a good way

Zoning out
Spacing out
The thought of her
Lingers at   the back of my head
Her eyes piercing me
With her dashing smile

Her smile
Her smile
Her.....
Smile.....

....oh!
I forgot I'm sitting on top
Of a cloud
The world that's all around us
Is so vast
But the outside world is so much bigger
A jungle of darkness
We are a spec of dust
Why must we make
Everything complicated

.....
Sleeping in my bed
No way I know how I got here....