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Ayn Jan 2021
Through time’s distorted glass,
I’m led to believe
On what you were,
Not on what you’ll be.

It’s sad to see
This distortion affect me,
But now it’s my reality.
Ayn Jan 2021
The permeation of my shadow
Beckons a new dawn
Upon the moonlight
Which shrouds my soul.

But it’s only in the day,
That I can clearly see
The dripping carnage,
Which was once me.
Ayn Jan 2021
Shrouding every waking breath,
And stifling my sickened cough;
Weakening me.
Forcing broken promises,
And dealing only half-truths,
Making my regret vile.

I wish I could’ve met you,
I would’ve saved some face.
But your face is mine.
And your mind,
Well it’s on the same line.

There is no solving you.
Believe me,
I’ve tried it too.
Only in avoidance
Will I save myself
From your remnants.
Ayn Jan 2021
Confusion whips up all around me;
A desert of the unexplained.
Words and phrases once meant to free
Now trap me in my pain.

A scarring biting nervous wind;
Shards of memories meant to maim.
Time is all I need to mend,
But my silence became a dying flame.
On the spot, just me writing without pause. I only used backspace for misspelt words. It’s a challenge more than anything.
Ayn Jan 2021
Through the open door;
Tapped open by the playful prairie breeze,
Comes a man.
This man has a story, as does everyone else.
However, for this striding figure,
Standing tall and slightly large,
There was neither need nor reason
To share a time long past.

His clothes were out of season,
And poorly fitting for the time of day.
A collared purple shirt,
Decorated with tropical floral
Wore him like a flirt.
Velvet pants, shimmering with each step,
Electrified his egotistical stride.
With wrinkles like a rocky outcrop,
And colors most abhorrent today,
The sluggish outfit was complete.

Jaunting up the the well-loved counter—
Tended to by well-hated men—
And slowing by a slight amount
For those unlucky enough to cross his path,
He rested an older, pudgy hand
On the exposed splinter board.
All it took was a small glance
From this month’s wretched clerk
To set this man in motion;
“A pack o’ Marlboros and a coke...
Make sure it’s cold.”

An inaudible sigh—
I doubt anyone else heard the forsaken utterance—
echoed silently from the clerk’s unmoving lips.
Full of despair, this uniformed creature stepped back,
Turning his mind towards the cigarettes,
One of the many things he longed
But could never have.

Opening the case, and picking a carton,
He placed the weathered box upon the stressed counter.
The worst of the bunch... that’s why this one is hated.
After a couple of seconds,
The world, as if once trapped in stasis,
Was shattered back into movement.

The offending hand, wrinkled and haired,
Belonged to the confident customer.
“And the coke?”
He questioned, the corrosion leaking from his words.
“Oh... sure.”
The clerk mumbled in reluctant submission.
The cowardly one dropped to a kneel,
Pulling the coke out of an old icebox—
It was probably his—
And placed it lightly on the counter,
Not daring to shake the time bomb.
After the amount was rung through,
And a grimy $6.76 was paid in full,
Two hands—well known by now—
Seized the chemicals like it was his right...
And it was, because he bought that death.

Strutting out of the store,
his slimy hands slipped into his packet,
Drawing out his heroic match,
Like Excalibur from the stone.
A simple strike along the rusted doorframe,
And a smoldering cigarette later,
We gazed as a lit match was thrown back;
It’s fall like a clock of death,
Slowly ticking towards the man,
Bearing down beyond the corners
Of those sharp yet simple eyes.
I watched this kind of scene unfold as I wrote it. It was fun to write. It sure as hell took a bit. And there are no edits, like usual. I wrote what I wanted, so yeah.
Ayn Jan 2021
Silence;
Turning to dust in the gentle breeze.
Anger subsides
And the turquoise sea drags us down.

Through our ethereal existence,
We listen.
Through our heart’s mind,
We feel.

All we hear is the wind,
And all we feel...

All we feel is our silent suffocation.
I needed to write so I wrote.
Ayn Jan 2021
Fuzzy nightmares,
And lurking daydreams.
Hiding from the ends
That justify my means.

It’s all led me astray
There’s always another day,
But there’s always debts...
Which I need to repay.
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