Baby hear me out please,

I want to say something to you:
I'm in love with you,

I'm holding hope up and wishing you'd grab the rope...

Let me be the one........

I want to commit to you,

live & die- - growing old
with you

but your too scarred to see..

As soon as I confessed loving you..,

It seemed you shut down.....,

Physically your still there

But you mentally went some where..

Your hiding your soul

and

I can't bare climbing over  

the walls you made....

Trying to reach

what seems impossible,



NO NOT THESE ONES YOU BUILT

there to high to reach

I'm ah fall
&I; hope you catch me....

Being with you..

It's like medicine for my heart & food to my soul.

You left it up,
from the moment I met you,

I felt a power tugging on my strings-
emotions,

mental & oh so many other things,

you got me monopolizing your time.....

Your too scared to take whats being given,

so I let you take this love thing real slowly...

Like

when I told you ;

I'm falling for you ; I meant to say...

I'm deeply in love with ya ways & how you treat me

always the gentleman,

Never wanting to be anything but!

I like the "****" in you,

that comes out in the bed room,

I like the way you speak to me
and

OUR

conversations make me completely

"Aware" - - of your smell

(OOH YOU SMELL SO GOOD)

You give me a rush '
your endorphins ; causing me weakness

An intoxicating feelings

taking over my senses...

My GOD you just don't know..

Ya every breath & touch,

Ya motions and movements,
the way you turn ya head and
how ya eyes light up..

Papi believe me this is more then

lust

More than a crush

even more than infatuation.

Yeah your older than me,

YES I KNOW

You've been hurt plenty,

But don't tell me,

I'm too young and don't know what love means,

What it is to me?

I may not know exactly
not completely

I think I've been close to it a time or two.

Your right to guard yourself from me

cuz

if You had me as ya lady ; I'd never leave

I'd be emotionally stalking you,
obsessed about you,

I'd sleep right next to you
make you fat by cooking your food

Spoil you by : rubbing, massaging
every part of ya body
each & every night

As you walked in the door from work,

I'd take ya shoe's off (rub ya feet)

you ain't got to say a word....

But I'd listen to all your problems
and
try my best to solve em,
pray with you, for you... for us,

Hold the children

"son's" up to your example,

"daughter's"
would understand that to have a good man

you'd need a good woman
(like me)

We'd be a team
when it came down to everything.

I'd be your budget keeper
your court appointed attorney & adviser
I'd be your marriage counselor
and anything else....

We could be of same mind
combine our souls as one

I'd follow your lead
but not take away from ME cuz no matter what

this is who I am
&
even when I have had a man.

But the difference is
I'd do all this and more
just because my love's so strong for you

My heart cries out for you
I wake up & I touch my self where
you've been not even knowing
I'm doing it, until it's to late...

Funny as I wash my body ;
I stop on the parts you've kissed, caressed & touched...

A mental image of you pops in my head
and
I smile to my self.

Tell me- am I being punished,?

Is "Karma" getting back at me ?

Maybe
for doing something long a go
just maybe huh?

Cuz I can't seem to get at you....

Make you understand...
If you was my man- You'd never have to worry

I'd do my best to take the hurting away

I'd be ya right hand

Ya best friend.....

****....

'You wont know till you see for ya self,
don't wait until it's all said & done
and
your wishing for me
after I'm gone...

Like the saying goes;

"You Don't Know What You Got Til It's Gone"

Think about it
I treat you right now

like a prince....

But you could be
my king....

ONLY

when you decide you want me-
and
believe me you'd understand .........

Like I said  ...........

If You Was My Man!

Always me Ayeshah

I have my dayz where I set & think of the ppl no longer in my life (dead&alive;)

I'm grateful

4  the memories,  sad 4  the losses &  Still upset/bitter on sum of the BS that went down.

But  at the end of the day/ night  as

I look back on the scenes of my life share w/ Them  & W/U  

4 that

moment

  I SMILE,   Cry   (sumtimes)  

&  

Laugh!

I realized.........

BABY  

Pain or not

I'm living!

This is Life

&   it'll be what I make it!

(NO REGRETS)

2  

U

ALL  


TY  4  

SHARING


YA    LIFE

WIT        ME!

Acceptance is overrated when being a Mommy is even better then popularizes falsehood&superficial; non-importance personal gain! or a daddy either way



whats gain if you gain nothing  in life and if being a parent aint for you well good for you





this is to those who get down and ***** and do the right thing everyday for OUR BABIES from not yet born to 100 yrs old & GONE!



Acceptance is overrated when being a Mommy is even better then popularizes falsehood&superficial; non-importance personal gain! or a daddy either way



I gain  kisses and paid in hugs, I gain wisdom from tiny fingers smudged in finger paints,





I have knowledge beyond my or their years from tears cuz of boboo's + shrieking laughter



&  bedtime stories,



smile of chocolate face kisses & warm S'more sticky fingers covered in blankets of hair,





sleeping on my pillows in an over crowded bed of baby limbs, hands & feet from the tallest & oldest to the youngest  or shortest .





From the I went ***** by my self to day... to the I fell off my bike ,





to the I can do all by my self mommy to the I'm going out with friends mommy,

from the can I have 50 cent to the 18 yrs old can I borrow ya car & get 50 dollar's



watch each close their pretty brown eyes as my pillow and room becomes theirs  as  we fall asleep to nick at night



(little bear or Hey it's Franklin  )

and I'm kicked to the floor in my sleep !



{EVEN THREW THE STRIFE AND STRUGGLES OF MOTHER HOOD I'DNEVER REGRET
MY CHOICE TO GIVE BIRTH TO EACH & EVERYONE OF MY BABIES~~
YOUR WHATS IMPORTANT TO ME & MY WORLD/LIFE & I TY FOR MAKING IT SO MUCH BETTER!}


THIS  MOMMA MAKES BEAUTIFUL BABIES!
ALWAYS ME LOVE YA MOMMA AYESHAH K.K.C.N. LOPEZ!

I had to listen

&

not speak,


I had to watch

&

Not move,
I
Had fallow

before

I too could ever lead....

Had to be so broken down


before I could get back up,

I been there

&

back around again.

Through it all


I learned~

It's these life's lessons


that's made me stronger

&

for it all

good or bad.......



I am Thankful!


GOD'S Got me

&

carry's me


threw it all!



Always me Ayeshah