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Autumn May 2022
It is hard
To lay here and message you as a “friend”
After I envisioned a life with you
I contemplated what it is I wanted
Kids
Religion
Upbringing
What state to live in
Not seriously-but enough to make me ponder.
Seriously enough to make sure you knew I would only want to adopt
Serious enough to become exclusive for someone who enjoys many
To be aware of love bombing and to bask in its negative positivity
I was aware
I had the desire to be with you
And the fear of not being ready to have a serious relationship
Because I still miss Tony
And you apparently chose to admit you still miss your ex
Who I had asked about several times
And how do I be friends with this person
Who held me
And called me beautiful
And sang to me in German
And made me question what it is to believe in God again?
These are not the key reasons because I call myself beautiful, I sing to myself, I contemplate my deepest beliefs
I self reflect
So what was it, that made you so enticing
The allure of an intelligent, tall, nice, innocent, safe looking man?
In truth- in the moment I had plenty to complain about
In truth- even now I am thankful you did the difficult part
Because if we were “serious” I would be wanting to leave.
And now
We had a month of nothing
A month of vast unanswered questions
A month of anxiety at work for fear of running into you
A month of whining
A difficult month for work as well
But you want to be friends
Because you “value me” and get happy and excited to see me?
But this is not the same reaction for me anymore. My reaction is an aching heart and embarrassment across my cheeks. My reaction is over dramatic and self inflicted but it still brings me awkward feelings.
And I’m aware it is on my own terms
To become friends
But I want your friendship
But I cannot be friends with someone that still makes my heart skip a beat?
I cannot put myself in harms way more?
But am I?
I feel better, more calm and at peace knowing I can call you a friend
Or at least knowing I am not at war with you
Because you do not have power over me anymore
Or maybe it is simply less seemingly so in my brain

It is a dangerous game
I am aware
A toxic one perhaps
That feeds into my most peculiar masochistic tendencies
To desire what I cannot have
To achieve what does not want me
To reject what once rejected me

Was it rejection?
He knew he was not giving me the love I deserved and so he told me
And so he asked to be friends then
And so he asked to maintain
And I left
I put my shirt on and walked away

I should be grateful
It is a weird amount of feelings
And none of them combine well
To make a coherent and comprehensive conclusion
It amounts to emotional chaos
I wonder what the actual good term is for that
A stream of consciousness
Autumn May 2022
I’ve fought this long
To stay here for you
I have done my best to
Continue
So that you had an older sister
To save you
To be there
To hold your hand
To hug you
And give you all the love you cannot give yourself

I’m still here because I know if I left
Others would leave too
And it would break my mom
And my brother would not recover

And I have stayed for you and you and you.  
Today
I can say I stayed for me too
But I am still here
With tears
Fighting and crawling
My way
To continue
Autumn May 2022
I keep trying to come here to write how I feel
But I am at a loss of words
I begin
And delete
And I attempt and fail
Autumn May 2022
I see you
And it reminds me that I was not good enough
And then my brain thinks and corrects itself
It reminds me that you were not ready to love me
It reminds me that if I want to keep a positive view of you that you simply need more time
It reminds me that you would rather be alone
Autumn May 2022
What I care about the most
Is not fixing inequality
Or finding the solutions to our poverty
Or removing the institutionalized racism that America is built upon and continues to exacerbate and capitalize upon
Or demilitarizing the world
Or fixing the human rights violations in China, Ukraine, the global south, in your own back yard
The most
What I care about the most
Is helping you fall in love with being alive again
Is helping someone find their desire to live
Is helping someone not merely continue to exist but to find joy in their day
It is to see the smile and spark in someone’s eyes
It is to hear their laughter after seeing their heart and brain and mind and entire being want to be no more
For everything I care about
For everything I want to stomp and fight and change and remove from the system
What I want the most
Is for you to reach out your hand
and feel the warmth touch your soul
For you to feel the joy so deeply your eyes water
You feel gratitude in your breath
And you bask in the sun
You smile in the face of opportunity
You hug the meaning of content
You find peace
Autumn May 2022
My eyes full with tears
The joy I feel
Reflects in my smile for days
I am so proud of you
For being brave enough to want to see another day
For being here with me
For facing the darkness and choosing to fight your way to see a glimmer of light
I am so proud of you for getting out of bed and coming to work and showing up and being able to sit here and laugh with me today
I am so proud of you for existing
Autumn Apr 2022
I do not know
Which is harder for me to accept
That you do not miss me
Or that I miss you so much?
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