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  Sep 2014 Autumn
Justin S Wampler
Who do you
want me to be?
Autumn Sep 2014
you are a mistake
go cut yourself
go **** yourself
you are nothing
you are a failure
you are fat
your are revolting fat disgusting nasty
you are stupid
go away
go die in a hole
you are a mistake a mistake a mistake
they regret you
you are nothing
you are nothing at all
a failure
...
chuckles
laugh
the teacher looks away quickly
...
that one girl gives you a sheepish look
...
he continues.
they laugh.
...
you are silent.
...
he knows.
...
he is aware.
...
she is hiding, but he found her.
...
it is done.
...
they are gone.
...
the voices they stay.
...
her smile still intact
...
...
...
home.
...
no one is home.
...
...
...
the gun its downstairs, the knife that big one its in the drawer.
why not appease them?
all her medication just sitting there.
...
...
...
it is done.
they are gone.
the voices they remain.
the glances they stayed away.
...
...
...
and still she is here.
with that oh so big smile.
...
yet, why are they all looking for her body?
...
Autumn Sep 2014
the blood will drain from your face
you will finally feel
what its like to return
to the numb life
you will notice their stares, you will comprehend the words
but you will not care
nor will you care about the hand out trying to help
because you
are
numb
and as you have now returned to this state
the thoughts they return as well
because you are numb but not mute
they will not know
or realize
what you have become until they are there themselves
Autumn Sep 2014
mock his pain
feel the wrath
the bullets shall rain down
upon your oh so ******* innocent heads

**** his mind
you will feel the aftermath
your loved ones will be those to regret your birth

release your pain on those weaker than you
look down on those in need of help
and you will fall to their immortal souls
they must make the pain you once felt seem like a happy day

drown the girl who once helped you while you were ablaze
and watch the revolt
that will surely come upon you

****** those who tried endlessly, you must reach some kind of punishment right?

you will reach some sort of regret due to your wretched actions correct?

how do you inflict this much pain and go on feeling happiness everyday?

where is the real justice?
that never actually occurred?
and without the name of justice would you have ever craved it?
revenge it inks itself into your façade of justice

and without your belief that one day this will all be for something, what is it that would come out of you?
Autumn Sep 2014
the insignificance of your effort has significantly affected my insignificant self
drunken times reveal a lot about those near you
Autumn Sep 2014
the bridge
it's sitting out there just out of your reach
so close you can touch it
so tempting you almost dared to jump for it
but that almost
was just a thought

your hope
you were so close to it
you had a taste
and vomited it up just as quickly

your love
to much of a coward to stay
you were there
and you
cut your heart out before he or she had the chance to

your damnation
you waltzed with it, let it linger
you let it infuse with your being
ignorant to its poison

your heaven
you hid
letting the fear
**** your desire
and leave it in the dark

your hell
you thought your "higher than man" self
could out wit the master

your failure
you accepted it
sometimes without acknowledgement

and

your success
you wouldn't take notice

your future, past, and present

dominated by your pathetic
weak
ever so disappointing
"needs"
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