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Here I lay,
Night after night,
unable to fall asleep,
The only thing on my mind is you,
Your smile,
Words said in the past,
Laughs had in the past,
Laughs we will have in the future,
Words that can now be shared in a future,
All of it consumes me at night,
Taking away the sleep I desperately need,
But it’s ok,
Because you are much much a better picture then the darkness that haunts my dreams,
There’s been less and less of it since you saved me that day,
When your words brought me back from the edge,
The day that snapped me out of years of depression,
The day that has then lead me to gain love for myself,
Are there days of doubt?
Yes, some days I see the little scared child I used to be,
Yes, some days I hate my body,
Yes, some days the horrible things haunt me,
Unable to find happiness,
The horrors that have constantly haunted me,
Are now a shallow thought of the day,
Because now you are my deep thought of night,
Thank you for that day,
Thank you for being there to save me when I couldn’t save myself
Dad was fat all his life
Obese
He couldn’t do a lot of things.
Walk without special help
Bathe
Climb stairs
Sit in a normal chair
Drive a normal car
Sleep in a normal bed
And say “I love you, son.”

To draw those words out
of his dad he became a cartoonist,
but that also failed.

And now that his father
was dead,
collapsed face down
on the kitchen floor,
blood seeping out of a head wound,
he struggled to turn him over
on his back
and dipped his finger in the blood
and drew a speech bubble
next to his father’s head
and wrote in it the famous words.

Finally.
“I love you too, dad.”
all these months i have liked you
and now you like me too
I'm just so scared I'm gonna do something to mess this up
and not only lose my boyfriend but my friend,
who was there for me when i had no one
There was a knock in the door
at about six AM

He wouldn't have opened if
he didn't check
through the peephole. It was
his aunt. Why would
she visit at a time
like this?

When he opened the door
she slapped him
across the face. "You *******
monster! You had the money, you
*******! You had the money all along!
You could pay for your mother's operation
and you didn't. You watched
her die in horrible
pains! How can you live with yourself?"

Ah yes, he knew what she
was talking about. But there
was no point explaining. He
closed the door in her face

went back to bed

"Who was it?" his girlfriend asked. "Another
one of your crazy exes?"

"No. It was my aunt who doesn't
have what I call internet education."

"What?"

"Internet education, dear. Rule number
one: not everything you see
on social media is true. Just because
I pose at the wheel of a brand new
Lamborghini doesn't mean I own
the **** car and am therefore
rich as ****, you know?"

"What kind of idiot would think that?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised..."
you wrote something,
directed at me and Im just now seeing it,
and its making me rethink everything,
but I do know what I want,
Im  just too scared to admit it,
but if I do then the future could become so great,
with you.
OK
OK,
"do you want to do this"?
the question scares me but the answer is simple,
hard to say but simple,
yes I want to do this,
no matter the fears that come with it
 Jan 2020 atticus wilson
unnamed
Death is never
Too far
Or
Too
Near

It’s always
Busy
And it’s always
Searching
 Jan 2020 atticus wilson
unnamed
Her ebony hair
Tied knots around my heart
And I have been entwined
In these ebony locks
And in her
Ebony heart
 Jan 2020 atticus wilson
unnamed
But you swore
You swore
You wouldn’t
Give
Up
On
Me







was that a lie too?
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