Scrolling back weeks
Thinking I’ll find
Some word that will
Remind me why I’m here
But no matter how far I scroll
They seem to be empty promises
Left behind

“We’re two sides of the same coin”
Says the “villain” as the “hero” saves the day
But who’s the real villain of my story?
What if I were both sides of my coin?
Hate
Depression
Bitterness
Scoring the back
Empathy
Pep
Loyalty
Stamped on the front
For I am Gemini Man —the hero and the villain
Fighting myself and the world

When I say “I’m fine” what I really mean is
I didn’t get a prom
I didn’t get to experience the last half of my senior year
I didn’t get a “proper” graduation
I didn’t get to celebrate my 18th birthday with my friends and family
I got hired just for the business to shut down indefinitely due to ******* gang activity
I don’t get to say goodbye to my friends as they leave to start their lives
And I’m stuck here because I can’t afford college, but my parents make to much for financial aid
Life keeps ******* ******* on me
So when I say “I’m fine”
Just know that I’m ****** up inside
But I just don’t want to bother you
Cause I’m a man, and we aren’t supposed to feel

You were the best friend I had over the last three years
We had our ups and downs
But you didn’t walk away when my arrogance, narcissism, naïveté blinded me
Instead you waited until I healed
Had said the awful things I needed
And had moved on before you let me apologize
There’s nothing left to say but this:
Live your life
And I’ll be there to catch you should you fall

I need something to help forget the pain
All of my friends scattering over the country
And I’m stuck here
I won’t even get to see them go
I need something to forget the pain
Of knowing they’re leaving without saying goodbye
I’m gonna miss them when they’re gone
And there’s nothing I can do

My fingers typed in your name before my brain had a chance to realize
I clicked on your profile, the picture the car you drove daily
And before I knew what I was doing I had already scrolled through
Unable to control myself, I read through your posts
Seeing your new girl
Seeing how happy you were
Seeing that you were living your Happily Ever After