I put on a fake smile at work,
because I don't want to admit to my friends that I am truly
having the worst time getting over you.

I know if I talk about it, water will spill from eyes like rain
and I am so dehydrated that I am not sure my body can
handle any more loss of liquid.

I fell apart when you told me you couldn't do "this" anymore.
It was so silent, you could've heard a pin drop.
How can you go from being so ecstatic to a crumbling mess in a matter of seconds?

I promised myself I was done writing about you,
but as the tears spill, so does the ink.
As long as I keep crying, the words will keep coming.






Heartbreak is the worst pain, I have ever endured.

I miss the late night conversations
in which we would drive each other wild.
Planning trips we would never take.
Talking about the future, like we ever had one.
I believed we did.

I didn't care about the things you didn't love about yourself.
I liked you just the way you were.
I would never try to change you.
But that wasn't enough.

I tried to heal you, but I couldn't, you have to do that on your own.
I wish you could see what I see in you.
The way your clothes fit your body.
The way your hair moves in the atmosphere.

You're kind. You're caring. You're loving. You're passionate.
You're determined. You're motivated.
I want you to see it for yourself.

Maybe one day when you put the pieces back together,
and the bad times, don't seem so bad,
you'll think of me and reach out.

Please do. Because I would love to love you in all the ways you couldn't.

I don't see you anymore.
Only through vivid images on Instagram.
I choke when I see your face, your smile.
I quickly close out and try to focus my energy elsewhere.
Never works.

I watch movies, I play video games, I do my makeup, I cook dinner, I clean, I sing to music, I drive to the store, I hang out with friends, I go shopping-I do all of the things the internet suggests to help me move on.
Never works.

I want to crawl in the bed we once were in and feel you on my skin.
I crave you like an addiction.
It's quite pathetic on my end- I am aware.
But someone tell me how to stop thinking about someone who was literally every thing I looked for?

I need an intervention.
On my heart.
On my brain.
Never works.

You made me laugh, the kind of laugh
that makes your insides hurt.
You made me smile, the kind of smile
that makes your cheeks hurt.
You made me feel, like I finally mattered,
that made my heart skip a beat.

There is something about divorce that makes you feel broken.
That makes you feel ugly.
That makes you feel like you will never find love again.
All that changed, when I met you.

In an instant, I felt beautiful, I felt wanted, I felt alive.
But now you're gone, and I am back to square one.

I miss having you in my front seat.
I miss you the most when I can't seem to fall asleep (every night).
I miss your honesty.

You were a ritual in my every day life.
You felt like home.
I gave you the key to my soul.
You opened me up and etched yourself in a part of my brain
that I can't erase.

I type texts that I delete.
I hold back feelings.
Now our conversations are limited to-Hi, how are you?
Instead of the dark galaxies and intricacies that we spoke of before.

What happened?
What changed?
Did I push too far?
All questions that ramble in my heart and brain like a bad fog.

I wonder if I cross your mind.
Maybe, you just need time.
I'll be here if you're ever ready.
I'll move across oceans just to feel your skin.

You are something special to me.
I just can't get you off my skin.
I wish I could be a painting on your wall.
Forever hanging, wishing to be noticed.

It's late nights on my balcony,
when the sun sleeps
and I am exhaling my cigarette...

that I miss you most.

It brings me
          b
            a
              c
                k
to the night in the parking lot where I stood there and just stared at you.


-my brain knew before I did that it was the last time I was going to see you

We both got each other's initials tattooed on one another.

It was in that moment, I knew no one could love me as much as you did.

Two laser treatments later, and I run my fingers over the lightened puzzle piece.


                      



                I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.


-young love