My heart beats so fast, I feel as though my throat might collapse. My palms sweat so much, I'm losing control. What is this I'm feeling? Is it forever or a moment suspended in time? Who is playing the game better, me or you? Is it real? Will it be real when the night moon shines on my face or will you be a thief in the night, taking what you already know is yours? Am I playing the same game too, is the real question? A high school dream come true. Is my gut wrong? I will give it all away to have you become a permanent fixture on my wall. I wish to smell you in an embrace. The taste of your lips against mine, where in an instant, the world and time stops. I'll look at you with the vulnerability of a child asking you for guidance and to take control; I'll let you have it. It's the downfall of my well being. I am secure. I am confident. I can take care of myself. But what if I want you to do it all? My walls are so far up, you can't see where they end and you aren't scared because you are the same. How can two different pieces combine into one from far away distances? We shall see...

I need this trip to my parents house. I need to smell the air I grew up in. Feel the arms of the ones who love and know me. Feel the city lights gleam on my face as I look up to the sky for hope, faith, and guidance. I am a vagrant running through these streets asking for a light to show me the right road to take. I cannot care what other people think of my divorce. I can't act like a stigma. I will not cower my head in shame. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am funny. I am kind. I am care free. I am gentle. I am a good listener. I know I will find a strong hearted man who will always make me feel safe. A man who will not take me for granted and a man who will never make me have doubt. It will be tough or maybe it won't. I am just a dandelion leaf trailing on the wind, letting the universe guide me home.