from Heathrow i left from gate eleven
on the London to Sydney BA257

and it was somewhere over Brussels
i started to flex my drinking muscles

by the time i crossed the Rhine
i was on my second glass of wine

then i switched over to some gin
when i flew over West Berlin

and i could feel more intoxication
while crossing some eastern european nation

and by the time i reached Volgograd
i was best friends with a man called Vlad

though i wasn't sure he was a man
when we were passing over Kazakhstan

then over the mighty high Pamirs
there were ***** shots and lots of cheers

so much more that by Islamabad
i started to feel that too much I've had

and when we finally landed in New Delhi
i had to empty by entire belly

thankfully it was a long stopover
and that helped me lots with my hangover

and i felt better that i had a brandy
just before we left Indira Ghandi

but Sydney was no longer my destination
as i changed my ticket to a new location

and so i flew back to Heathrow instead
to get drunk again with my best friend Vlad

God is a woman
and she's also black
i saw her, yeah its true man
when i had my heart attack

she said - you're here too early
come back in fifteen years
when i can judge you fairly
to take which set of stairs

i said - i might need thirty five
to try and change my way
first clear all **** from my hard drive
then quit the KKK

the world revolves around me
i'm the centre of all things
the heavens came to crown me
to be one of their kings

i'm demanding full attention
as i'm into greatness ******
being destined for ascension
to eternity outlast

i'll be loved and idolized
and be closest to perfection
then i woke and realised
that i still had no *******

Stalin could be your boy next door
he loved and laughed and cried
but always planned for more and more
like planning genocide

similarly Mao ZeDong
could be your next door neighbour
unless of course he thought you're wrong
sentencing you to hard labour

my boss who could be my best mate
now wants to see me later
seems not too long i have left to wait
to see the world's next worst dictator