I’ve been drinking…

Way too much of pain lately
Letting myself get drunk
on misery
Sleepwalking through life
Balancing on the edge
Self destructing

I’ve been eating…

Too much fear for a while
Letting negativity slip
under my skin
Poisoning me
Blurring my vision
Filling me up

I’ve been sick…

So sick and tired
Of self medicating
Using drugs prescribed by evil
Being addicted to self harming
Doubting

I’ve been living…

In my own private little hell
Build with my own hands
Suffocating me with
the power of hate
Force feeding with meals
of neglect

It’s time…

The time has come
to start a new diet

It’s time to love myself.

Help! Cried the money
I am looking for my worth
I feel so empty

He got used to it

Keeping his heart
in the fridge

Sometimes he opens
the door to look at it

He stands there
in the doorway
and watches it

Beating

In a calm
and steady rhythm

He feels tempted
to take it out

Warm it up

But he never does

He leaves it there
on a special shelve

Safe

In the emergency
he knows what to do

He simply turns the
temperature down

When it gets too warm

…

It is pouring
The raindrops are flowing
in the stream of tears
Heaven torn to shreds,
doesn’t want to stitch
back together again
I am weak
Hidden in my shell
Waiting for it to finally 
crack open
 
I look through the window
The world so empty and cold
My eyes hungry
Searching for the glimmer of hope
I see one, tiny,
floating right towards me
 
I squint my eyes
 
You're there...
Summery meadow
gently rocked by the wind
Trembling hands picking flowers
Smell of happiness
 
I quickly catch 
the leftovers of light
I’ll hide them deep 
In the place, where the
tentacles of darkness,
can’t reach
 
I pray
Repeat the words
over and over...
 
It's raining and raining
The rivers of sorrow are
flowing incessantly
Is it my fault
What have I done
Have I sinned
Please give me a sign
I don’t want to cry
 
I close my eyes
 
You’re here...
A spark growing stronger
Your loving eyes so warm
Shining bright like a star 
in the blackness of the night
 
And
 
I am weak, hidden in my shell
But I know

You will split it wide open…

We are empty
Our feelings spilled all over
the floor
A reflection of dark moon in
the puddles
There is nothing left
All the memories of the sun,
shine no more
Buried, deep down in the shadows

Our fortified walls,
built persistently over the years
Grew resistant and sturdy
A lost echo, of a thousand
love messages
Rings quietly in the dark
Never reaching our hearts

We are so far away
Even when we are together
The reflection of dark moon
locked in our eyes
And we feel its power, every
time we look at each other

All I hope for
Is a glimpse of the sun shining
through our hearts
Filling us up, with rays of love
To remember again what we
used to have
And to crumble down our walls

Mama, do you remember?

You keep the photographs
under your pillow
Each night still kiss us
goodnight
All those memories of us
you treasure deep
in your heart

Mama, do you understand?

Life rushes away, runs so fast
It’s hard to keep up
Each second lost
cost more

Mama, why are you so sad?

You sit here by your window
All alone
Waiting for someone
you love to come home

Mama, why are you crying?

There are tears streaming
down your face
Your eyes filled with
pools of lonely sadness

Mama, is there still hope?

Can we go back
Is there still time for us
Can we fix what’s broken
in our lives

Mama, what is it?

Today is your day
to celebrate
So, mama smile
Cause today
is Mother’s Day…

You are soooooo stupid!
Said the head to the bleeding heart
You let yourself get hurt

Look at me!
I don’t feel anything! I think!
I’m never broken! Always happy!

I can’t do that said the heart
If I won’t feel
I’ll freeze and die

I’d rather hurt, break, bleed
a thousand times
but feel alive!