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Feb 2017 · 214
Hang em high.../
Anthem Feb 2017
no worthwhile revolution was ever started
by a company man
someone with a family and a healthcare plan and a hybrid car
things they just "can't risk losing"
someone afraid to live behind enemy lines
someone afraid to bring the war home with them
you can't rely on someone whose welfare
is engaged in the cogs of that same horribly machinery
bring me the broken and the desperate and the forgotten
only those who've been denied everything
they're the only one's free enough to do anything.
Feb 2017 · 155
take2
Anthem Feb 2017
this is forwarded to you
no one i know owns anything
and i don't think most people i know ever will
i'm tired of being bewildered and hanging on to helplessness
i want it all to end soon
know that anything is possible
in these moments of such complete denial
but everyday clumsy stubborn beautiful ideas
wither and rot on the vine
i'm tired of this so called state of affairs
i'm calling an end to fear and paranoia and self-intimidation
i'm done watching the world spin, as if nothing is happening at all
i'm done waiting
this is dedicated to waitresses and junkies and carpenters
to secretaries and schizophrenics and alcoholics
to the imminent societal collapse
this is dedicated to all those who are denied the love they so justly deserve
and everything inbetween
the future is as it ever was
unsure and bleak and beautiful
for all we know, tomorrow they might arrest us all
listen closely to the movements
ascribe adequate weight to dissidents and whisperers
some hearts only keep on beating as long as you keep on listening
try to be free
try not to be afraid
no matter what they say
the end of the world will never come.
Feb 2017 · 428
It rots while we starve.
Anthem Feb 2017
this is forwarded to you
no one i know owns anything
and i don't think most people i know ever will
i'm tired of bewilderment and helplessness
i want so many thing to end soon
and i know anything is possible
in moments where everything is denied
but everyday clumsy stubborn beautiful ideas
wither and rot on the vine
i'm tired of this so called state of affairs
i'm calling an end to fear and paranoia and self-intimidation
i'm done watching the world spin, as if nothing is happening at all
i'm done waiting
this is dedicated to waitresses and junkies and carpenters
to secretaries and schizophrenics and alcoholics
to the imminent societal collapse
this is dedicated to girls kissing girls
boys kissing boys
boys kissing girls
and everything that falls in between
the future is as it ever was
uncertain, bleak, beautiful
for all we know, tomorrow they might arrest us all
listen closely to the movements
ascribe adequate weight to dissidents and whisperers
some hearts only keep on beating as long as you keep on listening
try to be free
try not to be afraid
no matter what they say
the end of the world will never come.
Feb 2017 · 156
Gathering Storm
Anthem Feb 2017
it's wild and it's wonderful.
it's haunting. beautiful.
i've never felt so devastated. or relaxed.
overwhelmed. cathartic.
this must be what they mean by 'a religious experience'.

it makes my heart beat different.
Feb 2017 · 150
Flowers to the Hospital.../
Anthem Feb 2017
She said
Son, there is nothing special about you.
You come from a long line of regular people.
There was nothing extraordinary about me or your father
or our parents and their parents.
There are no prophecies or legends about your coming.
You aren't destined to do great things.
I leave little money and few possessions.
There are no great riches awaiting you.
There are no secrets.
You are you, and nothing more.

He said
Mom?

She said
That means
there is no path set out for you.
So anything you accomplish
anything you become
will be truly your own.
Feb 2017 · 183
Domesticated.../
Anthem Feb 2017
faking an emotion in the form of an avalanche
and you try to run away
but it's all you can see
despite the best of intentions
it was far too late.

collecting yourself in the wake of an avalanche
and the silence is deafening
a bird flies above
free from the weight of the world
while you resign to sinking deeper and deeper still.
Feb 2017 · 268
Her 59th birthday.../
Anthem Feb 2017
Thursday

It's another glorious spring morning, and I find myself struggling to find the beauty in it. I fear I'm engulfed in one of my "spells" again; I fear I won't be able to handle it this time. I know, it's not fair to you, nor I, nor us. I'm confused all the time. I can't read, I can't write, I can't think. I just wanted you to know that you brought all the happiness in my life. No one else could've made it better.
I know that I'm ruining your life. I know that this will devastate you. I know that you'll blame yourself. But I also know that, eventually, you will recover. You will. You have to.
I'd like you to remember me as I was, before all the terribleness. Remember me at the dock in San Diego, when you grabbed my hand and we fell into the ocean like a fever, or a daydream. Remember me when I dropped the turkey in front of everyone on Thanksgiving; when I laughed it off but you knew, and later you held me as I cried silently in the hallway. Remember me as a time of day, when the sun rests at it's highest and you trust it to never go away.
Not all experiences are meant for everyone. I gave it all I had. I gave you all I had. You were "it". You are it. It's not that I'm afraid I'm not good enough. I know I never was.
Loving me is like loving a house on fire. Leave me behind. I want to remember this as love, not lost.
Jan 2017 · 164
Silence.../
Anthem Jan 2017
You chose the plague
at the expense of the holy child.
Baby, you know I'd never hurt you
but you're only pretty when you're crying.
I'm alone at least 6 nights a week.
Don't deny it.
Don't you dare try to lie to me.
This is passion in the form of red-handed denial.
Play the piano like a disease and
tell me exactly what the distance means to me.
Altar. Sacrifice. Martyr.
Time. Energy. Life.
Every person makes their choices.
You chose the plague
at the expense of the holy child.
Jan 2017 · 155
Superficiality.../
Anthem Jan 2017
recognition gets us nowhere
it's just another *******
we all claim no one cares but
we're all clamoring for the attention
just another minute
just another glance from lonely eyes
bath me in your light
bless me with your appreciation
tell me i'm good enough
i can't sleep until i succeed
and i'm tired
i'm so tired
all i want to hear is
something positive
help me
i'm terrified of being left behind.
Anthem Jan 2017
a time
a place
positive energy
negative space

everything you are
we've already bought
the price is fixed
can you live with it?

dipped in glue
fashioned with paper wings
dreams of escape
and other impossible things

none of this means anything to me
none of this means anything to you
a sense of urgency
but we've both lost our nerve.
Jan 2017 · 132
Feel Right../
Anthem Jan 2017
Be honest, be free, give yourself completely.
Don't hesitate to make things.
Don't talk yourself out of doing things.
Be full and fit to burst.
Stop sitting and watching and copying.
Stop being dead at heart.
Let them have their TVs and cars and money.
Let them crawl in imitation.
Let them be common and dull.
Quit leaning on your beliefs.
Words are easy and cheap and petty.
Delineate yourself through action.
Jan 2017 · 185
Grow.../
Anthem Jan 2017
I think I finally see
I think I can learn to love the little things
When you love the thought of life
more than life itself
you start spending a lot more time in your room
Ignoring the phone until it stops ringing
It's all feedback and self-aware anyways
The reflection in the mirror is smaller
but just a little bit clearer
Can you keep a secret?
I scream your name
once more, just to see you
Pinkie promises and haiku
and everything that meant the world to me
Sleeping with stained eyes on warm summer nights
You know it's quiet
I just want you to call me baby
one more time with feeling
If I bought the plates
who cares if I break them?
I'm finally fine
I'm shaking.
Jan 2017 · 277
Loops.../
Anthem Jan 2017
i went out last night
and saw a light.
the moon stood back
and it was foggy.
your face was hard
upon the ground and
the light was everywhere.
"oh, what a loss!"
i was caught inside a coin
with a girl with flaming hair
reaching out to find what was
already in my hand
praise be! glory be!
the roots are strong and deep
figure eights til infinity.

(this was just another story.
no one is waiting for you.
there is no tree.
there no warning.
no heat.
no flash.

there are long hallways
and warm water-fountains
there is no ceiling
and you may never stop.)
Jan 2017 · 130
Three stars.../
Anthem Jan 2017
walking alone one night
and the wind, it blows
wondering of time and space
love and other things i'll never know
before i knew it,
i was back in my own yard
the glow was gone
my mind was back on guard
another miserable december
no, i know i'm not dead
i know i'll make it through
but blood flows harshly in my head
the moon glares down
followed closely by its army
back inside, inside the bed
where it's never able to find me
feeling the call of sleep
but staying awake instead
rather stay where i can find you
rather keep my mind inside my head.
Anthem Jan 2017
and we're burning down the places
that we swore we'd never leave
you're all exaggerated gestures but
no one can tell just what it means
stumbling around with ****** knees
broken noses and a split lip
you're begging for the cure
we'll do whatever we can for it
the last book read was buried
so many years ago
all you want is to go home
but can't tell which way to go
and i've forgiven everything
that you said
although i must confess
i still want you dead
you pull me up
only to push me back
i'll figure it out myself
without the weight of what you lack.
Jan 2017 · 319
Lit the funeral pyre.../
Anthem Jan 2017
hopping fences
under faint street lights
i mean, everybody does
picking splinters while we discuss
all the possibilities
of what will be and what was

and i know myself
better than anyone else
so save yourself

i think there's a god
and good or bad
he ignores either way
in the middle of the night
he listening with my friends
when i kneel at my bedside and pray

and i pray for myself
and everybody else
and the only one he helps
is himself

and i threw the match
and lit the funeral pyre
i prayed one final time
blew a kiss to my friends
and gave myself to the fire.
Jan 2017 · 197
S/T.../
Anthem Jan 2017
i smashed ever light
in my hometown
just in case you ever
thought about coming 'round
i stay inside
and keep my head down low
i'm alone and
it's everything i hoped for
i still write sometimes
of feelings and the in-between
staring at the ceiling
reminiscing on all the things we've seen
my soul is an island
the tide is rolling in
i'd rather drown, here on my own
than have to sing to you again
Jan 2017 · 267
Tinderships../
Anthem Jan 2017
started catching feelings
for someone i was having *** with
now it's safe to say
we don't talk much anymore.
Jan 2017 · 152
Arrivals & Departures.../
Anthem Jan 2017
she constantly knew more
than she was willing to say
her eyes always gave her away

i reached for her
as she stared out
into the distance

she asked me
"if you knew now
what you'll know then
would you still do it all again?"

i held her hand and said
"no matter what the future brings
i'll always choose the very same thing."

she smiled like she understood
and we embraced.
i don't think she truly believed me
and it's been years since i've seen her face.
Jan 2017 · 175
Sera.../
Anthem Jan 2017
Sometimes I look at people
as something disposable.
It's never how they said it'd be.
Nothing ever is.
I have my moments
but I know I'm
just a big coward.
Everyone has their moments
but we all know we're
all just a bunch of cowards.
Selfish.
Grandiose.
Narcissistic.
Afraid.
All this freedom is dangerous.
Left free and we're
reconsidering
analyzing
questioning.
If there was a better way to go
we'd have found it by now.
Come close, I have something to tell you.
I'd give up everything I've got
for just a little peace of mind.
Jan 2017 · 327
Everyone is the same../
Anthem Jan 2017
You just kept saying
you didn't know what else to do.
I'm not really listening.
I mean, you're a stranger.
Why should I care?
A stranger with the face
of someone I used to know
of someone I thought I knew.
Now all I see is you.
How can anyone know how it feels?

[Keep it like a secret, safe inside your chest.
A toast to what's been taken, and cheers to what is left.]
Jan 2017 · 154
The drops are the ocean.../
Anthem Jan 2017
As with the pursuit of happiness
I'm lost in the pursuit of truth and
it's all so idealistic.
Credited too much
yet not enough.
I dream of the chase
and the horrors of consummation.
Once elusive
now captured
lost of its glamour
turned false with time
easy and boring
like so many others
just another half-truth.
I am certain
and I am unsatisfied.
No love lost in possession
but found in the quest
of all these uncertainties.
You turn all my answers
into questions.
I don't consider myself
competent enough to judge you.
Jan 2017 · 550
A grape and pen.../
Anthem Jan 2017
I hate the uneducated and the ignorant.
I hate the pompous and the phony.
I hate the jealous, the resentful.
The crabbed and mean and petty.
I hate all ordinary and dull little people
who  aren't ashamed of being dull and little.
I hate the New People
with their cars
and their money
and their T.V.s
and their stupid vulgarities
and their stupid crawling imitations.

I love honesty and freedom and giving.
I love making, I love doing.
I love being to the full.
I love everything that is not sitting
and watching
and copying
and dead at heart.
Jan 2017 · 184
Collections../
Anthem Jan 2017
i don't know why but
you keep offering it everyday
i don't know why but
it tasted so much better before
candlelight or forest fire
these people will never understand
don't you ever get sick of waiting your turn?
don't you ever get sick of wasting your turn?
sink or swim
go away
Jan 2017 · 248
I am a collector../
Anthem Jan 2017
i heard sirens through the windows
as i decide to clean up my mess
running to the basement
with nothing but a pillow
i'm beating her
and she's laughing
i lunge and land
directly on top of her
pressing the pillow to her face
i sing for glory, oh hallelujah!
she struggles, then stops
i cry as i lift the pillow
but i'm met by a smiling face
she was only pretending
right then, the door is kicked in

i awake in a sweat
that's the first time
i've ever dreamed of ******.
Anthem Jan 2017
swallowed up and
we're leaning on the edge
leave it behind and
remember it as lost
leave it behind and
remember it as love
Jan 2017 · 212
Falling in service.../
Anthem Jan 2017
recite aloud
your favorite verses
psalms ring out
with palms pushed tight together
infiltrate an empty church
find your way to the bell tower
weigh your faith
test the will of the people
swan dive suddenly
they'll never catch you
trust me
i've been through this before.
Anthem Jan 2017
four thousand milligrams each
and i'm still not sure what to say
when you ask why i want to leave

and i listen to all your lies
as we lay beneath the stars
each representing things we've been let down by

the future is inside
it's not somewhere else
i just want to be with someone who makes me feel alive

just because we kissed on lovers lips
well that don't mean we're in love
and i have a decent idea how we've ended up like this.
Anthem Jan 2017
it never felt quite right
but that doesn't make it any easier to leave
no words, just tears running down your face
and the blood smeared on my sleeve
i thought you knew everything
you thought i could do it on my own
but i need more than this
i'm ruined to my bones
i'm run through. washed out.
lonely. forlorn.
so please, give me your hand
and give me what i need
give me just one more chance
and i'll bite the hand that feeds
Jan 2017 · 358
Blackout../
Anthem Jan 2017
you're selfish
calloused
a coward
always with that
worst foot forward
disregarding others
blank stares
afraid to reach for anything
hoping not to find
any sunlight in me
Jan 2017 · 128
SC.../
Anthem Jan 2017
any chance we could stay dark?
blowing blunts late night in the park
you can take the high road
leave more room for me on the low
and although i will always love you
these questions only god can know

i'll always be there for you
but some mountains just
aren't meant to move



i remember the shape of your dress
that smell of the shampoo you used to use
i can't remember the color of your eyes
i really can't remember much more about you.
Jan 2017 · 137
Imperfect time../
Anthem Jan 2017
we held hands on this
our last night on earth
while we kissed
our mouths filled with dust
the shadows of the trees
confuse our blood upon the leaves

we walked along the path
we followed closely to the sea
the skyline was on fire
and the smell of smoke hung in the air
like some terrible disease

as the storm approached
and you gripped my withered hand
i knew i'd gladly fade away
if it meant i could walk with you again
Anthem Jan 2017
she's draining full confessionals
all while doing shots at the bar
constantly worried about everything
except exactly where you are
isn't that just "so hollywood"?
what is it, your first night in town?
i deny any part
why would i want to burn it down?
who really believes
you can survive solely on love?
gargled six days with gasoline
and i still can taste the blood
why are you always so ******* literal?
"liberate the prisoners"
"you'll drown with the rest of them"
my body is a witch
and i am burning it.
Jan 2017 · 231
Flake
Anthem Jan 2017
you bent the knee
i pulled his tail
**** the pestilent
you preach betrayal
i wonder what's in your eyes and
on your mind
you just want to feel better
i'd rather cut you open and
count the rings
you chose to believe the lie
i'd like to burn the whole system and
mix the dirt and ash and spit
you know it's a road well-traveled
i've done it once and
i can disappear again.
Anthem Jan 2017
you can find anything
in anyone
if you want to

and i could stop the words from coming out
but i knew i was wrong
as soon as i opened my mouth

through claims you want to stay
and how you gave your life away
and how it doesn't matter anyway

how does it feel to be a problem?
a stitch in someones side?
instead of feeling good
you're the reason that they cry?

all i know is that i'm sick
of wandering and wondering alone
all i know is that i want you back
i want you to turn that house back into a home
Jan 2017 · 207
ADanceForTheDead.../
Anthem Jan 2017
Let these words
be a song for the dead
Let the rhythm
instill life in their bones
Let us put out love
and they'll feel loved
Let it be a chain reaction.
Jan 2017 · 120
Sense../
Anthem Jan 2017
standing on the edge
and
i'm reaching out
you actively ignore
all of the effort i put forth
instead you focus on the sky
pray that you could fly
take that solitary step
forget all that you have left
behind
but i tried
i tried

and all those ******* phrases
about the glory and amazement
a burdenless existence
and somehow we're the victims

i ran to the edge and
i reached for you
you never looked back
i didn't expect you to
i watched as you sank
like a stone on the sea

(i'll never understand
what it meant for you)
Dec 2016 · 123
Untitled
Anthem Dec 2016
have you ever seen
an army of armed men
go quiet?

there are no riots
that arise from thin air
and some things defy explanation
even if you were standing right there

so keep an open eye
and hang a closed fist
god preaches forgiveness,
but even he would condemn this

so go ahead,
bite the hand that feeds
throw off the shackles that keep
you living on your ******' knees

don't be scared because
you were meant to fly
pass judgement against those
who denied you the right to try

so take a sip for courage
and head out to bring your vengeance
if they are going to accuse you of violence
don't be afraid to act a menace.
Anthem Dec 2016
and i find myself wondering
how i would react on a sinking ship
would i reach for someone to hold?
would i look for a bottle of whiskey?
would i bash my fists and gnash my teeth
would i cry out and curse the sky
would i allow my tears to slip into the sea
and give to the grip of the grave that's reaching out for me?
or would i accept my fate with a smile on my face
content as it slipped beneath the waves
Dec 2016 · 168
I don't know../
Anthem Dec 2016
i sat in church
only to find
the devil at the pulpit

i went to the club
and happened to see
an angel on the dance floor

i've heard that god
is always listening
but i've seen the devil
and his arms were wide open
Anthem Dec 2016
standing on the edge
soaking it all in
while i think about
yesterdays surgery
and what the results mean
it looks real, tastes real
feels real, but
i'm too tired to appreciate
despite all that's created
i'm still so lost
and i want to believe
that the way i am doesn't
have to be the way it is
why can't it just be how i wanted?
Anthem Dec 2016
a wise man once wrote
"to be, or not to be
that is the question"
that line
running through my head
scared of both living
and of death
fighting
finding
there must be a universe
where i took that last step
but it won't be this one
another chance
one last gift
on this, the holiest of nights.
Dec 2016 · 175
Marrow and the Forest../
Anthem Dec 2016
it's alright.
i mean...it's not alright



but it's alright.
Anthem Dec 2016
some stay, some leave
some never show up at all
i want to leave but
can't seem to find my way out
my mind is full of
other peoples diseases
and these beliefs
are laughing at me
she says
if this is love
why do you cry so much?
if you're really happy
why won't you eat?
i just have an urge to become
someone who's worthy of you
i just want to hold you
one more time with feeling.
Dec 2016 · 308
Broken Microwave../
Anthem Dec 2016
i'll never be a famous writer
you'll probably be the only
one who'll ever read these
i'll never be quoted, revered
or even remotely successful
i will forever know the struggle
of a life lived within mediocrity
but i've accepted that
it's okay
i love it just the same.
Dec 2016 · 185
Lachrymous.../
Anthem Dec 2016
when you were young, i'd tell you
love came from the sea
as the milestones came and went
you still never learned how to speak
one night, you found me crying
stuck your finger in the sink above
touched me on the forehead
and told me i was loved.
Dec 2016 · 146
J.B..../
Anthem Dec 2016
trust me, you're going to run
it's alright, everybody does
i know myself
better than anybody else.
and trust me, you're going to run
it's alright, everybody does.
Dec 2016 · 192
Jiro.../
Anthem Dec 2016
precariously perched
at the end of every nest
all the siblings already gone
he's the only one that's left

his parents sit and watch
with an ever watchful eye
he tells them that he's scared
and this was their reply

"we've taught you all we can
only one more thing you've left to know
if you want to learn to fly
first you need to learn how to let go"

and with that, they pushed
their baby to the world
the chick fell a couple feet
but then flew away a bird.
Dec 2016 · 168
It
Anthem Dec 2016
It
she talked of nietzsche
and making her own light
she spoke of cross-country traveling
and a million other things
she could never truly understand

she reached her hand out
tried to get a grip
she only wanted to help
all she got was left behind
as she fell two steps back

it doesn't have to be like this
appreciate it for what it is
it can be so easy
if you only learn to love what it is
not what you want it to be

so i'll give it one more try
but never got any kind of reply
while you curse your lonely world
instead of what really hurts
the worlds most beautiful girl
Anthem Dec 2016
I love you
and if there was any way
to turn the universe around
and bring you back
I would

I love you
and if I had to
I'd break down the gates of Heaven
to get you back
I would

Things are breaking apart
everything's unraveling
and it feels as if the sun is gone forever
I just want to dance together again
I hope you're miserable too.
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