Over and over
The same lesson twice
Three times
Five times
Ten
How many times do you have to teach me the same thing
I got it
Please
Not again

I am ridiculed for being different
Ridiculed because I speak up in class
Ridiculed because I WANT to learn
I am ridiculed because I see the world differently
Ridiculed because I am mature
Ridiculed because I unseeingly pass societal lines
Don't laugh at me because I speak up in class
Or swear at me for entering a conversation that the WHOLE CLASS was involved in
Don't laugh at me because dare to be right and live with being wrong
Don't laugh at me because I try to be friends with the teacher
Don't laugh at me because I don't see the sense in your actions
Don't laugh at me because  I try
Don't get mad at me for learning teacher
Because it is not what you are teaching me
Don't get mad at me for refusing to work teacher
Because I would prefer to learn something else
Don't get mad at me for complaining about school teacher
Because I have never skipped
Because I know what the system is doing wrong
Because I will start to dread you
Don't laugh at me for seeing things differently
Because I don't laugh at you for the same thing
Don't laugh at me because I am mature
Don't tell me I am just a kid
Don't say that my opinion doesn't matter because I am sixteen
Because it does
But I didn't know it till I went to a Luthern Church
Don't laugh at me for not seeing societal rules
Don't undermine me
Don't undermine my learning IN SPITE of school
Because you **** well don't try

Pound your feet to the beat of the drums

1,2,3,4,

Hit the ground running to the beat of the drums

1,2,3,4,

fly on your feet like the wind thats behind you

1,2,3,4,

die on the road or die if you don’t

1,2,3,4,

run to the mother of the ******* beat

1,2,3,4,

don’t stop, don’t drop, don’t die, MOVE

Step step step step,

Arms pumping, legs burning,

Slap slap slap slap,

Barefoot soles meet pavement, concreate, dirt, grass,

Ground,

In out,in out,

I’m flying, free,

Go go go go

Says my heart to me.

Shut up people
Just leave me alone
Let me zone out
And read until I feel calm

You push me
I freak out
Here we go again

I know I’m gonna fail
You don’t have to rub it in

I expect to fail
Don’t you see?
That’s just part of being me

Shouting won’t help
It’ll just make me freak
Thanks for making me panic again
My anxiety is really fun to deal with for me
You think I can do this
But I really really can’t

Sure I’m smart enough
But that ain’t the problem
What do you think my tolerance level is?
I’m not invincible
Far from it
And stress is a real *****
Stress leads to anxiety
Is that really such a twist?
Anxiety leads to me panicking
Ain’t that just lovely?
And panicking causes more stress
No duh
And the cycle begins again

You thought I could walk into a mega church
5,000+ strong
I don’t know how you could think that
When I panic in a room full of 2,000- strong
And I knew at least half of them
You say I’m fine at RFK
But that’s completely non-sequeter  
Because it really isn’t the same
Sure there’s way more people
But the environment ain’t the same
Cause A, it’s a DC United game
B, I know the lay
C, I know the people
D, I know the players
E, I know the rules
F, I don’t have to keep quiet, I can yell and rave and swear
G, if I panic I can go somewhere
H, I don’t have to watch the game
Or pay attention to center stage
I have neighbors all around
All I gotta do is turn around
And say hi
How are you?
My name’s Julia, whats yours?
Well nice to meet you George
Do you like to write?
Yes, yes I do
I write Fanfiction, how about you?
I, I don’t feel like I’m in a cage
J, I do panic, I just don’t panic as bad
As I do in a loud room
Full of people I DON’T KNOW
In an area I don’t know the lay of
Or know how the people act
Where I can’t distract my self
Where I don’t know the routine
When I have to pay attention
To a dude up on a stage
That I’ve never even heard of
K, I know the routine of everything at RFK, I know the chants, and the rants, and the yells, and the smells
The rules and the cools of social interaction
The do’s and don’t ‘s of stadium reaction
So don’t say that RFK, Which feels like home by the way
Is anything like a Megachurch in Arizona

You tell me to try
And I try
I do
So don’t say I don’t
Because it really isn’t true
But I can only go so far
Before I fall apart
Because life, school, and stress
Try to tear me apart
So me being lazy
Is me trying to hold myself together
And it ain’t really lazy
When I write, and I read
And sometimes I bleed

So shut the **** up
And leave me alone

People say math
Is my biggest problem
And that may be right
But not how they think
Because it’s not just Geometry I’m going to sink
Chemistry
Is going to be the worst by far

You know what
I hate about Society?
It makes people
Feel
Like
They
Aren’t
Worth
Anything
You know
Why people commit suicide?
Because Society backed them into a corner
You know
Why people
Have eating disorders?
Because Society
Made them Feel
Like they had to change who they were
To be them selfs
Society needs to die for its crimes
It
Kills
People
Every
Day

The stars in the sky
Continue in our eyes
Though they may truly be long gone
Blown in an explosion
Of light not yet here
Many long years ago

Yet again
I feel confused
sworling in a storm of emotion
lost
directionless
defineing myself  by what others need me to be
What do i want to do in life?
i dont know, but ill stick with writing for now
im never my self
im scared
i need help
someone help me

The first show of light
Makes a rainbow of dark blues and greens
A slow halo of bouncing light
The first beams of sun hit clouds
Bright, ****** red
Turning pink
Then orange
And then not showing at all

The common rage against superfluous rules
Drove many to chalenge the unjust laws
The killed many chances at life
Stifled hope to a cradles plight

The girl hid under the blankets
Feeling a ghost outside the door
The blankets would protect her
In that superstition she was sure

Ah the horror
Of a blank mind
Turn on some music
Open a book
And you will find to your delight
That horror has gone away

Our moon
Her name is Luna
Bet you didn't know that
She is grey white
And constantly lives
In a dance of shadows and light
Her friends
Our stars
Fade as the sun rises
But she does not
She continues to be seen
Strong willed
Strong minded

Ah the need for sleep
Is a blessing in disguise
Creativity flows
From the dream sand
In your eyes
And I find
Makes poetry
Quite devine

Do you harbor life?
I hope we find out
When we look upon you
Some day in the future
Oh little moon of a distant orbital sibling
Maybe you will have the life we search for!

Transform-Adapt-Change
Transform-Understand-Comprehend
Transform-­Assimilate-Shift
Transform-Think-Create
Transform-Animate-Live
Tr­ansform-See-Unchain
Transform-Make-remix
Transform-Relate-Connect­
Transform-Intellect-Mindset
Transform-Rethink-Survive
Transform-­Unfetter-Give

Tulip
Is a flower
That is a way to say
I love you
To the one you give them to

Questioning
Who I am
And who I will be
What I believe
And what I should believe

Centennial
Perennial
Time
Is sublime

Circleing Circleing
All around
Circleing circleig
through the town
Running, running
all around
running running
up and down

Orange
Is a citrus
A color
And the worlds most unrymeable word

You boiling instance of runaway greenhouse gas,
Did you once harbor life?
When the sun was young?
And you were not so close to that scorching heat?
I wish I could know your story
That I could see through that dense cloud layer
And uncover your secrets
But alas
You are so far away
And look like a star on the horizon
Bright
Beautiful
Leaving a reflective legacy
In our retinas
In our sky

So So easy
Are you sure this is the right assignment?
These words that I can understand in a beat
Are such a feat
For my peers?
Why is this so?
What have we done so wrong that this is the highest level we know?
These vocab words of mediocre ***
These  easy little quick fire words?
How have we gotten so bad that this is our best?

I'm brown and I'm red and I'm yellow and I'm orange,
I fall from the trees,
and float to the ground,
I am a leaf and i make no sound

I didn't even realize something was wrong
I thought April, last April, was the last of it
That you got better
That I was going to see you again
If I had even thought it was a possibility
I would have hugged you harder at Christmas
I wouldn't have let myself oversleep
I would have stayed up all night
Just so that I wouldn't have missed your last visit

I didn't even know you smoked
That there was a chance of me loosing you because of that
I never even smelled it on you

I thought you would get to meet my kids
See me get married
See me become a grown woman
See me graduate college
See me graduate high school

But then the police came to the door
And I heard enough to piece it together
To figure out you were gone
Why
Why now
Why my Dad's birthday?
Of all the times why now?

Wind me up
Bring me down
Feel like I'm spinning
Round and round

Stress is bunching
In my shoulders
Headache mounting
Like I'm crushed by a boulder

Aches and pains
My body's unhappy
Internalizing stress
Feeling ******

A thousand story's in my head,
Twisting, tangling,
Unexpected bend,
Words flying onto paper,
Fingers frantically catching up,
Brain sorting into semi coherency,
Characters mingling, blending, creating,
Sorting into many words,
Describing an image in its whole,
Catching fragments,
Sewing a patchwork quilt of words,
Write on!

School is a cage
You are unwilling to change
You are unwilling to adapt
you are unwilling to educate me
I am not educated at school
I am tortured
I am not allowed to learn
I must do what you designate for me to learn
I am ROBBED of a proper education by you
I am not allowed to educate myself during the hours of mandatory prison allotted for 'Education'
I must educate myself in spite of you
I must chase knowledge that you will not teach
Tell me, Uncle Sam, Why are you doing your best to make me hate learning?
Tell me, Uncle Sam, why you have destroyed my national pride?
Uncle Sam, why do you lie to me?