Tulip
Is a flower
That is a way to say
I love you
To the one you give them to

God of death
For the Greeks
Also known
As Pluto
Who is both
A Roman god
And a planet

Stand by your side
Fight for your life
The world is a battlefield
And we will survive

I hate you
You evil form of reproduction
For making my throat hurt
I HATE YOU

Transform-Adapt-Change
Transform-Understand-Comprehend
Transform-­Assimilate-Shift
Transform-Think-Create
Transform-Animate-Live
Tr­ansform-See-Unchain
Transform-Make-remix
Transform-Relate-Connect­
Transform-Intellect-Mindset
Transform-Rethink-Survive
Transform-­Unfetter-Give

The girl hid under the blankets
Feeling a ghost outside the door
The blankets would protect her
In that superstition she was sure

Once there was a girl
A Nieve and hopeful girl
Who Had her hope crushed
By a cruel, cruel world
Every girl there ever was
Was crushed under such cruelty thus

I love you because your my brother
Even if its not obvious to others
Because we look different
I brag about you at school
And complain
(But that's because your weird ;)
I show I love you every day
And that's why i say yes when you ask me
To vehemently threaten the monsters in your closet
And lock said closet afterwards
And why
After I'm done
I mention everything in the room
That you can use to bludgeon them with
Because you might actually have to use the Mater Piggy Bank
To knock out a robber
When your in college
And why after that
I tell you that all stuffed animals are Super Friends
And that's why parents get them for their kids
And yes, Monkey Friend and Friend-Friend
Are the best in the monster busting biz'
Along with Sabrina the Teddy Bear
Who I haven't washed in so long
Daddy says she looks like a truck ran her over
I love you
Joe-Joe
Buddy
Bug
Monkey
Joey
Joseph Fredrick Kolb
And I always will
Because I'm your Big Sister
And that's my job
To love you
You eleven year old 'Griever' (TROLL)
And keep you safe
And hopefully not crying
Because the next bully at school
Who makes you cry
Is going to die a painful death
So help me god
Because there is nothing worse
Than a crying little brother

Floating clouds in the sky,
Floating Clouds Mountain high,
Floating clouds morphing why?
Morphing clouds flying high.

Drowned Jack
Drowned Jack
He's by your side
He's got your back
He'll keep you safe from harm today
He won't let them see you
Not to day
And on the day
You can't take no more
All you do is stand by the shore
Or any body of water will do
A bath tub, a bowl, a river, some dew
Say
Jack
Jack
Jack
I can't take no more!
And he'll come to you
When you cant take no more
He'll give relief to you
Out by the shore
He'll give you a kiss
And you won't breath no more
And if all you need is someone to talk to
Say
Jack
Jack
Jack
And talk
He will be there
He will listen
You can be sure

Ah the need for sleep
Is a blessing in disguise
Creativity flows
From the dream sand
In your eyes
And I find
Makes poetry
Quite devine

Our moon
Her name is Luna
Bet you didn't know that
She is grey white
And constantly lives
In a dance of shadows and light
Her friends
Our stars
Fade as the sun rises
But she does not
She continues to be seen
Strong willed
Strong minded

Marine is a man
Who faught in many battles
Who went through much strife
And lived a good life

Bond between two
trust, support, understanding,
Care
Love
Friends are a necessary connection
One you should never lose
Confident, confirmation, assurance,
I don't care
No, you are not crazy
My reaction exactly
Challenger of opinions
No, that's not right
I wouldn't do that
A friend is a lifeline
Necessary Bond
Sanity keeper

Death
Is a fact of life
So what is all this strife
About everlasting life?
I think that would ****
I don't want eternal life
Because I don't want to worry
About where I go after wards
And
The answer
Seems quite simple
You go into the ground
And are eaten by decomposers
Who only get ten percent of the energy consumed
Why?
Do we have to worry about where we are going?
It seems pretty obvious to me

I am ridiculed for being different
Ridiculed because I speak up in class
Ridiculed because I WANT to learn
I am ridiculed because I see the world differently
Ridiculed because I am mature
Ridiculed because I unseeingly pass societal lines
Don't laugh at me because I speak up in class
Or swear at me for entering a conversation that the WHOLE CLASS was involved in
Don't laugh at me because dare to be right and live with being wrong
Don't laugh at me because I try to be friends with the teacher
Don't laugh at me because I don't see the sense in your actions
Don't laugh at me because  I try
Don't get mad at me for learning teacher
Because it is not what you are teaching me
Don't get mad at me for refusing to work teacher
Because I would prefer to learn something else
Don't get mad at me for complaining about school teacher
Because I have never skipped
Because I know what the system is doing wrong
Because I will start to dread you
Don't laugh at me for seeing things differently
Because I don't laugh at you for the same thing
Don't laugh at me because I am mature
Don't tell me I am just a kid
Don't say that my opinion doesn't matter because I am sixteen
Because it does
But I didn't know it till I went to a Luthern Church
Don't laugh at me for not seeing societal rules
Don't undermine me
Don't undermine my learning IN SPITE of school
Because you **** well don't try

People say math
Is my biggest problem
And that may be right
But not how they think
Because it’s not just Geometry I’m going to sink
Chemistry
Is going to be the worst by far

Fire,

Pyro,

Flames,

Blaze,

Consuming everything in its path,

Orange heat reaching for the sky,

Exhilarating,

Terrifying,

Fun,

Irresistible.

You know what
I hate about Society?
It makes people
Feel
Like
They
Aren’t
Worth
Anything
You know
Why people commit suicide?
Because Society backed them into a corner
You know
Why people
Have eating disorders?
Because Society
Made them Feel
Like they had to change who they were
To be them selfs
Society needs to die for its crimes
It
Kills
People
Every
Day

Shifting pain
Forward and back
Up and down
Stay still
Go away
I know it's snowing
You don't have to tell me that
You're the worst internal barometer ever
A measurement of pain
I don't need you to tell me
This front is insane
Just go away
Please
Just leave me be
I'm fine without you
Can't you see?
I walk to school just fine without you telling me a dime
I can see the ice and snow okay
JUST GO AWAY

Oh detours
Do you ever work?
Getting EVERYONE lost at a moments notice?

Creeping through the storm
Hiding who she is
Shielding herself
From the rain
Maybe one day
She will become
Unashamed of who she is
And stop hiding
From the rain

School is a cage
You are unwilling to change
You are unwilling to adapt
you are unwilling to educate me
I am not educated at school
I am tortured
I am not allowed to learn
I must do what you designate for me to learn
I am ROBBED of a proper education by you
I am not allowed to educate myself during the hours of mandatory prison allotted for 'Education'
I must educate myself in spite of you
I must chase knowledge that you will not teach
Tell me, Uncle Sam, Why are you doing your best to make me hate learning?
Tell me, Uncle Sam, why you have destroyed my national pride?
Uncle Sam, why do you lie to me?

Centennial
Perennial
Time
Is sublime

It's the tiny things that tip me over
Make it build
A shout
A tap
A bump
And then
BOOM
The switch is flipped and my hands are over my ears
My legs come up or I slide down to a squat
My eyes close
And it's all I can do to keep sane
Shut out the world and pull in to my mind
One of the many curses that come with my Asperger's has been triggered
Sensory Overload
And it is crippling
I try to think about going to my next class
Ha..Haha...hahaha
Nope
Let's just hope I get calm by the bell
But being a productive student is out of the question
Mentally skipping class in
3
2
1

I have a game I play
When I'm bored
It is fun
What
I
Do
Is I open a book
To
A
Random
Page
And write a poem involving the first word
I see
It is a fun game
Do YOU want to play?

Shut up people
Just leave me alone
Let me zone out
And read until I feel calm

You push me
I freak out
Here we go again

I know I’m gonna fail
You don’t have to rub it in

I expect to fail
Don’t you see?
That’s just part of being me

Shouting won’t help
It’ll just make me freak
Thanks for making me panic again
My anxiety is really fun to deal with for me
You think I can do this
But I really really can’t

Sure I’m smart enough
But that ain’t the problem
What do you think my tolerance level is?
I’m not invincible
Far from it
And stress is a real *****
Stress leads to anxiety
Is that really such a twist?
Anxiety leads to me panicking
Ain’t that just lovely?
And panicking causes more stress
No duh
And the cycle begins again

You thought I could walk into a mega church
5,000+ strong
I don’t know how you could think that
When I panic in a room full of 2,000- strong
And I knew at least half of them
You say I’m fine at RFK
But that’s completely non-sequeter  
Because it really isn’t the same
Sure there’s way more people
But the environment ain’t the same
Cause A, it’s a DC United game
B, I know the lay
C, I know the people
D, I know the players
E, I know the rules
F, I don’t have to keep quiet, I can yell and rave and swear
G, if I panic I can go somewhere
H, I don’t have to watch the game
Or pay attention to center stage
I have neighbors all around
All I gotta do is turn around
And say hi
How are you?
My name’s Julia, whats yours?
Well nice to meet you George
Do you like to write?
Yes, yes I do
I write Fanfiction, how about you?
I, I don’t feel like I’m in a cage
J, I do panic, I just don’t panic as bad
As I do in a loud room
Full of people I DON’T KNOW
In an area I don’t know the lay of
Or know how the people act
Where I can’t distract my self
Where I don’t know the routine
When I have to pay attention
To a dude up on a stage
That I’ve never even heard of
K, I know the routine of everything at RFK, I know the chants, and the rants, and the yells, and the smells
The rules and the cools of social interaction
The do’s and don’t ‘s of stadium reaction
So don’t say that RFK, Which feels like home by the way
Is anything like a Megachurch in Arizona

You tell me to try
And I try
I do
So don’t say I don’t
Because it really isn’t true
But I can only go so far
Before I fall apart
Because life, school, and stress
Try to tear me apart
So me being lazy
Is me trying to hold myself together
And it ain’t really lazy
When I write, and I read
And sometimes I bleed

So shut the **** up
And leave me alone

Chickens
Charles Dickens
The only thing in common
Is that they rhyme

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a vat of molasses,

Stuck,

Unable to move,

But on the outside I’m still moving,

Smiling,

Laughing,

Hiding,

Lying,

And sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in the shadows,

Tied down,

Kept in an unending circle of thoughts,

Forced to relive my darkest moments,

Hearing the words said to me by others,

‘Freak,’

‘Ugly,’

‘Idiot, ‘

‘Stupid,’

‘Shut up!’

‘No one cares!’

‘Why should I listen to you?’

‘******,’

‘****** *****,’

‘Yeah, so?’

‘Was I talking to you?’

‘Go away!’

‘We don’t want you here!’

‘Go somewhere else!’

And after a while new ones are added, ones said by my own brain to me,

I’m a freak,

I’m a good for nothing,

I’m a loser,

I’m never going to amount to anything,

I’m Hideous,

If I’m not carful they’ll know I’m weird and tell me to leave,

Who cares what I have to say?

I’m worthless,

My writing’s s**t,

I’m fat,

I’m weak,

I should have run farther,

Look at me, can’t even do a pull up,

And sometimes I feel so wrapped up in those thoughts that I can’t even breathe,

Can’t pull myself out,

Can’t look up,

Can’t get out of the shadows,

Can’t see the light,

I feel so lonely,

Too caught up in the looks others give me to see the smiles of my friends,

Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in the dark,

Sometimes I feel like the shadows will consume me,

Sometimes I need someone to pass me a torch to beat off the shadows and ward off the darkness,

Sometimes I need someone to pull me out of the vat of molasses,

Sometimes I need someone to see past the smiles,

Sometimes I need someone to see the girl tied down in the shadows,

Sometimes I need someone to untie me,

Sometimes I need someone to break the circle of thoughts,

Sometimes I need someone to wave away my darkest moments,

Sometimes I need someone to combat what others and myself say,

To say that I’m worth it,

I’ll succeed,

I’m beautiful,

That they will never leave,

I belong here,

Don’t go,

Stay,

We’ll never make you leave,

What do you think?

You’re worth something,

Your writing’s great,

You’re strong,


Other times when I’m in the light,

I see those who are in the shadows,

And then I’m the one who beats off the shadows,

I’m the one who passes the torch,

I’m the one who wards off the darkness,

I’m the one who pulls them out of the vat of molasses,

I’m the one who sees past the smiles,

I’m the one who unties them,

I’m the one who breaks the circle of thoughts,

I’m the one who combats the words,

I’m the one who offers companionship,

I’m the one who gives the encouraging words,

I’m the one who helps,

I’m the one who saves a life.

A constellation in our sky
Representing a Story in our eyes
I used to call you 'The Mannequin '
Because you were a headless man in the sky
I live near a city
and some of your lights were missing
Your sword was gone
Your belt diminished
And so I called it what I saw
But in truth
You were the suitor of Artemis
Scrupulous
or unscrupulous
depending on what version is told
And that is what the eyes see in the sky
A man
Who fights a scorpion
For all of eternity

I am from my family,
From the tree that I half-know,
From the half that I don’t know,
From the substitute half given,
To give me room to grow,
To at least semi-know,
What its like,
To know the whole tree,

I am from the friends I didn’t have,
And the friends I have now,

I am from the struggles of life,
And the disability’s,
That made it thrice as hard,

I am from the gifts,
Three of them all in a row,
That gives me eyes to see,
What others don’t want to know,
That gives me a heart wide open,
To help me give so much,
And hurt even more,
At the words thrown at me,
That gives me ears to hear,
What others never will,
That gives me hands to touch,
What others cast away,
That gives me feet to walk,
A path that others daren’t think to,
That gives me a mind to part,
The fog of misconception,
That gives me wild paths with a hundred choices each,
And a mind that likes them all,

I am from the uncertainty of what I shall do,
When the high school path ends,
And the college path begins,

I am from the times,
Of soccer ***** and dads’

I am from the middle house,
With a red door and a porch,
With a crab-apple tree,
With a Toyota Celica and a Toyota Camry,
And web-collecting Moses bushes,
With beige walls,
With a closet to the right and a bathroom straight ahead in the foyer,
With a red couch and a cabinet framed TV,
With a mirror on the wall and shelves up above,
With a once-white carpet and a computer,
With a book shelve set into the wall and an old broken inherited radio,
With hardwood floors in the kitchen-dining room and an old wobbly wooden dining table,
With a counter of doom and a pantry,
With white carpeted stars that lead up to the rooms and down to the family room-basement, bathroom, office, and laundry room,
With the master bedroom and after nightmare cuddle sessions,
With my old room, now my brothers, with yellow walls and a castle mural painted by my Mom,
With my playroom, then nursery, then my room again, with blue walls and clouds on one side over white wooden borders,
With door less closet and Joes’ old bed,
With a pink cubby-bookshelf and old wooden dresser,
And stained floors.

When I was eleven, my name was Sadie.
When I was eleven I lived on the streets.
I was unloved.
I was unwanted.
I was unseen.
I was unheard.
I had not a single person in the world who cared for me.
I no reason to live my life.
I had nothing to fight for.
I was alone.
When I was eleven I made a choice that changed my life forever.
When I was eleven I made a choice that set me on the path to adventures beyond my wildest dreams and heartache of my worst nightmares.
My new name is A’ratos I’nima, or Brave Heart.
My home is the spaceship T’arm, or Haven.
My species is human.
My family is made up of alien bounty hunters and merchants.
I am loved.
I am wanted.
I am seen.
I am heard.
I have an entire starship of aliens who care for me.
I have a mate who loves me.
I have a child who adores me.
I have two reasons to live my life.
I have a war to fight with my star born family.
I will never be alone ever again.
I was Sadie, a street kid with no future.
I am A’ratos I’nima, a Space Merchant with a wife and daughter.
I am Courage, a fledgling warrior in an old rebellion.
This is my story, dare you read it?

Oh poor girl
Trapped in the stars of the sky
Because of your mother's wicked bragging
About the beauty of your body
Not the elegance of your mind
Her pride was your undoing
And the gods were mad
Oh so very mad
Your city was plagued by many problems
And you were offered up to make it stop
Chained, struggling, to a rock
You would have died
If not for a brave child of Poseidon
A demigod
Who came to your rescue and slayed the great beast
About to rip into your beautiful body
And saved your life

Freddy is brown
Puppet is no-face
Get out of the cieling
before i go realing

Crossing the River
Chapter One: Survive
My name is Iren Flames
I’ve been in the foster system since I was nine.
I am now 15.
Every day I get up at four a.m.
Every day HE beats the **** out of me.
Every day I grab my satchel and leave at exactly five a.m.
Every day I walk six blocks to the blood fighting arena known as the BattleBridge.
Everyday I meet the manager of BattleBridge arena at the door.
His name is Kyle.
I am his champion.
I am the best fighter the BattleBridge has.
I am also the youngest.
When I walk through the doors I change.
I become sharper.
I become more confident.
I become dangerous.
I become The Whisper.
The death you never hear coming.
Everyday Kyle hands me my breakfast and we start training.
Everyday the lunch bell rings.
Everyday Kyle hands me my lunch.
Everyday at one o’ clock sharp the blood fights begin.
Every fight is the same:
I always win.
Everyday Kyle hands me my dinner as I leave.
Everyday I walk out that door.
As I walk out I go back to being Iren Flames: foster kid.
I walk into the house just in time for HIM to beat me up.
After he’s done I dust myself of and walk upstairs to my bedroom.
Everyday I cry myself to sleep.
Wash.
Rinse.
Repeat.
My name is Iren Flames.
This is my life.

Ah the horror
Of a blank mind
Turn on some music
Open a book
And you will find to your delight
That horror has gone away

Endless work,
Endless fields,
Lifetime hard ahead,
A heavy weight upon thy back,
A heavy weight upon thy heart,
Staying there until depart,
Looking for freedom,
Yet getting not,
Looking across and seeing hope,
Reaching far,
Not far enough,
Reaching for the prize,
Forsaken eyes,
Somber faces,
Thread-bare cloths,
Dirtied feet,
Bleeding hands,
Looking forward,
Glaring forward,
Accusing eyes at me,
Fire eyes,
Dagger eyes,
Looking forward at me,
Endless work,
Endless fields,
Lifetime hard ahead.

So So easy
Are you sure this is the right assignment?
These words that I can understand in a beat
Are such a feat
For my peers?
Why is this so?
What have we done so wrong that this is the highest level we know?
These vocab words of mediocre ***
These  easy little quick fire words?
How have we gotten so bad that this is our best?

Step step step step,

Arms pumping, legs burning,

Slap slap slap slap,

Barefoot soles meet pavement, concreate, dirt, grass,

Ground,

In out,in out,

I’m flying, free,

Go go go go

Says my heart to me.

A blank page is opportunity,

Endless possibilities and freedom of expression,

Words waiting behind a pen,

Waiting to be put down,

A blank page is freedom,

Freedom of the mind,

Freedom of the hand,

A blank page is a story,

Untold and new,

Real and unbridled,

A blank page is hope,

For a girl trying to make her way in a scary chaotic world,

A blank page is a friend,

For a new fledged writer or an old hand at the art,

Always patient,

Always waiting,

A blank page is many things,

And all of them untold.

Hush now my child,
I know it's hard out there,
Unable to understand,
What they're doing,
Over there,

Hush now my child,
I know you don't understand,
Why they think the way they do,
How they got from here to there,

I know it can be lonely,
When you can't relate to them,
I have a bit of advice for you,
Look beyond,
Look above,
There are friends out there for you,
They may be older,
They may be online,
But they are out there for you,

Hush now my child,
and dry your tears,
No matter how bad it gets,
I will be here for you.

You boiling instance of runaway greenhouse gas,
Did you once harbor life?
When the sun was young?
And you were not so close to that scorching heat?
I wish I could know your story
That I could see through that dense cloud layer
And uncover your secrets
But alas
You are so far away
And look like a star on the horizon
Bright
Beautiful
Leaving a reflective legacy
In our retinas
In our sky

Feathers, Feathers
Somthing about feathers
Pokeing through a pillow
Makes
Me
Nuts

Swept wings
Four engines
Double deck
Three way tail
Beautiful design
Marvel of engineering
Lets go up up up!

Circleing Circleing
All around
Circleing circleig
through the town
Running, running
all around
running running
up and down

Make-Create-Design
Make-Remix-Challenge
Make-Share-Inspire
Make-U­nleash-Unbridle
Make-Free-Influence
Make-Show-Suprise
Make-Unique­-Reach

Archaic traditions surround me
Binding me to who society wants me to be
Suffocating in their tension
Causing societal regression

My tree is not half known anymore,
I've got the other side,
I've got so much to go on now,
I've got the other side,
I've got more brothers,
Got three now,
I can see the other side,
I've got two dads,
I’ll figure it out,
Cuz I can see the other side,
How this will go,
I don't know,
But I can see the other side

Orange
Is a citrus
A color
And the worlds most unrymeable word

Mars
Our brother in the sky
Glowing red
Close to the moon in the sky
If you want to find it
Red Planet
Possible source of new life?
With your cold climate
And interesting ice?
I wonder what you would tell us
If you could
About your history
Maybe you will
When we send some of our own life to you
Shall we see?
Shall we discover what our relationship should be?
I hope it happens in my lifetime!