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Abi Cash May 2018
I don't hate you
Because I still love you
I can't look at you
Because it hurts to
We don't talk
Because there is nothing left to say
You apologized
But I just walked away
I'm leaving you and the thought of you behind
Because I just need to clear my mind
I'm angered because you wasted my time
Hurt because I believed you were mine
But I just didn't see the signs
I guess that's why they say love is blind
Because you got my heart caught in binds
Look me in my eyes
And listen as my heart cries
Cries out in pain
This feeling makes me feel like I'm covered in flames
Until ashes are all that remain
Thought you were different
But you're all the same
Thought this was real
But it was all a game
I gave you my love
And you gave it away
That's why my heart is blue
And my skies are gray
Will I ever see the light of day?
Will this dark cloud ever go away?
Or will it follow me for my remaining days?
Grasp all my joy and strip it away?
No I am too bold.
Way too bold to be stuck in the cold
I am way too strong not to carry on
I can live without you
Abi Cash May 2018
It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night
No one ever understands my scars
Abi Cash May 2018
Running, running
far away
Escaping dreams
of yesterday.
Faster, faster
there I go
Forgetting things
you'll never know.
Dying, dying
deep inside
Find a place
for me to hide.
Catching, catching
up with me
No more running
from reality.
Stopping, stopping
let me cry
Finding a way
to say goodbye.
Abi Cash May 2018
One day I will be gone
like a shooting star across the sky
their for a split second in your life
but then gone in the next
almost like I didn't even exist
I never say goodbye
Abi Cash May 2018
I hope to linger here in the moments before it hurts
to kiss you
hold you
feel your touch
before it gets bad and gets worse
before your blood flow increases with anger instead of excitement
before your feelings grow and then die overnight
I want to hold on to these late night conversations
to hold on to our love and how we make it
I want to extend this honeymoon to a lifetime
to feel sparks fly when I’m eighty-five
to keep dancing in the twilight and feel you sway under the night sky;
before it hurts,
I want to say I’m yours and mean it,
live in a romance in which I’m not mistreated
I want to keep feeling complete
if you will keep me like a secret
I swear I’ll never whisper myself to another
I swear I’ll try to show you nothing but wonder
I want the time before it hurts to be the time that makes it worth any mishap that may occur so that we know that we deserve to give ourselves a chance to make it work
to go back to the times before it hurt.
Abi Cash May 2018
I keep trying to push you away
put you don't seem to see it
but I need you to let go
because I'm poison
and if you love me
that posion will **** you
I've let go, now it's your turn
Abi Cash May 2018
I fell so hard for you
that when you left me
I could barely breath

It felt like my lungs had collapsed

I cried myself to sleep
till my tear ducts dried
and I could't cry anymore

I've lost all hope
I wish I never loved you
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