in a memoir of contemporaries,
of trite and clichè
polluting a stream of profound musings,
of forgotten music and hymns
of convoluting expressions,
of white noise and hissing frequencies,
an audible noise as cold as the breeze:
a humming sound that puts the world at ease

Why did I let myself
Leave a first love
A keepsake from a blissful childhood
Being kept for long until the day
Starts to fade and bring me to oblivion

Just as I realize
I started picking up the sword again
Slash the throats of those beasts
Let the darkness devour the outside

Oh how I wanted to come back to the first love
I left behind the changing tides
Now it takes tears to tame
Sweat and blood for those open arms
Of that beautiful dame

maybe what i miss most was the conversations. it was way too different from all who went and all those going on. maybe i was naked from the start, and you didn't have to strip me out. maybe that was my fondest idea of making love: hearing about your stories, what made you vulnerable, EVERYTHING.

but there are things that wouldn't match however we try. i want you here, but you have to fulfill your dreams and destiny. i wanted to wait but you were steadfast with staying.

i'd like to think that you have more to your mind than what you really show rn. i wish i could wander through those.

When your head aches, mine blows.
When you're sad, my world falls apart.
When you're angry with me, I'm like a lost puppy.
When you ignore me, I could see a lifeless body.
When you're in pain, I'm an asylum, insane.
But when you're happy, I never remember what is melancholy.
Because I'm your emotions' xerox copy.

You are the cause of my agony.
A companion who cannot see nor feel me.
We used to laugh together.
Share secrets whatever.

There were times I smile for you.
Deep down all I feel is blue.
My mind cannot contemplate how this is true.
My feelings depends always on you.
I never had my own since I met you.
Now you feel sick, I need an Ibuprofen too.
Maybe If you leave this place,
I'll follow after you.

let's say, we are in our phones right now

and if we do not communicate

it was as if we are not in company of each other

but when someone's physically around

you could just enjoy the silence.

and be practically fine and contented