I once had a dream where i could
anything and everything i wanted
to do in life but as i grew up i learned
what it means to lose your train of thought
, now that im older i realized that I was dragged
down by the "ZOMBIES" of society

My flesh had been cut, ripped, and pulled of my bones
by the cruel words spat out at me like rotten corpses growling
with the blood of their previous victims dripping from their lips
like saliva drips from a  dogs mouth while it stares at a pile of meat

*On my thirteenth birthday i realized i was pulled
down deeper in to the zombies hole of hatred where
they weakened their victims with by the rumors and names
they called them  

By the helping hand of my friends and family
i was pulled from  the piles of rotting flesh and broken bones
pulled back in to their caring loving arms where i knew there and only there i was safe

*Safe  to be free, safe to feel, safe to  be me, and safe to fly away from those who evil beings but... inside we are all "ZOMBIES OF SOCIETY"  or " VAMPIRES OF RUMORS SPREAD" but we learn to forgive and NEVER forget EVER,

Laws that get me in trouble.
Mostly for public intoxication
After wandering aimlessly down
Lost streets.
Love I never receive; or gift anyone with either.
Liquor that takes the pain away
If only temporary.
Love fades,
Feelings change,
And the hangover the next morning
Reminds me of why I hate myself
After downing my first shot of alcohol
The night before.
So I start drinking again for breakfast
And the next morning will play out the same.
Endless truths hide behind lies
And luck has never been something I’m  good at.
Life is a game and I can’t ever seem to win,
I lost. I lose. I’m losing.
Over and over again
People call me a lowlife and say I’m going nowhere.
Liquor cures the lonesome for the night
And men tell me they love me.
I believe them.

I hate the word “love.”

Hey
I know it's been a while
Since we've last both spoken.
I'm doing fine

                                            Except
I miss you sometimes
When I least expect it
I'm not really sure why
It's not like we were anything special
Maybe it's the look in your eye
In that one moment of vulnerability
When you tore off all the layers
Of protection
That you pull so tightly
Around you
Perfectly hiding you
Making you invincible from the world


Did that scare you?
That I saw that side?
Is that why you didn't call
Didn't leave even a note or an inkling
That you had the slightest interest
Or was your interest only for those few
Moments together


Like magic
Engulfing me completely
Intoxicating my senses
Filling me to the brim
With you and the possibility of more


More that will never come
Because you won't let it

I want you to know that I go
From spurts of anger to pain
When I think of you
And what we could have had
Sometimes I still hold hope
Before remembering
Stupid girl, it'll never work


You make me the highest of highs and the lowest of lows
And you don't even know it
Funny
Because I don't want you to
You don't deserve that
And at this rate you never will


Well this is getting long winded
And it's something you'll never see
Because really why would you?
You never even think of me!
So I guess it's time
To finish what I have to say
There's really nothing else
Other than
Goodbye

I feel the caress of my own fingers
on my own neck as I place my collar
and think pityingly
of the kind women I have known.

If
  Nothing
        Is
Wrong
        And I have
             Nothing
   To worry about.
     How come
I still
     Can't
Sleep
         at
              Night?