AllAtOnce

AllAtOnce Sep 2017

I swear you know a little bit about everything from the end of the world to the past
From Ovid to T.S. Eliot and Rick Riordan
And I think I'm in love with that

I feel like it was probably, almost easier
When you didn't know anything about anything
And I didn't know any better

Because I don't know what I'm doing and the idea of love is a lie
I'm in foreign territory now
And I swear that I won't cry

Sometimes bad decisions are broken hearts in disguise
And demons are just shadows
That make their home in your eyes

You're the worst bad influence and maybe I'm okay with that
I'd drink with you and sleep with you
And maybe I'm ashamed of that

But I want to lay in bed and stare at the bumpy ceiling
Talking about humanity and the meaning of life
Tangling toes in cheap sheets and pretending that I'm not feeling

AllAtOnce Sep 2017

You're on fire

You look like you could set the world on fire
With ***** blond hair and fire sign eyes
And a voice to split the mountains
Into canyons again

And I bet your world's on fire
But god, you're such a good liar
I see right through your wavy hair
Can't you see that it's not fair?

You've set my world on fire
And I feel ***** and broken and tired
I'm melting and helpless and falling apart
And instead of canyons, it's my heart

AllAtOnce Sep 2017

impossible things

it could be an adventure through outer space
inhaling poison gasses and sneezing constellations into place
while scattering the dusty footprints on the planets
riding on the toxic waves of acid tangents

or a trip through the Atlantic in an orange submarine
falling in love or laughing until our eyes bleed
watching life in the real world from afar
under sea level and into his arms

it could be a trek in the forrest in my dreams
picking black wildflowers and catching sunset beams
sleeping under cotton-candy clouds
his broken voice fills my heart and pungent sound

it could be sleeping with the fishes or bathing in mushroom clouds
jumping into the end of the world without fear or doubt
the apocalypse is upon us now
ignoring the protests and the crowds and the shouts

and he and i would be an impossibility
just like all of these other things

AllAtOnce Sep 2017

Friday nights

It's Friday night and I guess I don't have anything better to do
But homework and just pretending
That a beautiful boy is singing to my broken heart in perfect tune

Every time I drink coffee I think of you
God, you've ruined that for me too
Like heavy metal music and the color blue.

AllAtOnce Sep 2017

20 Feet of Insecurity

I'm falling apart and I'm 20 feet away
And you sound just like I thought you would
I shouldn't have done this today

I have to get up and leave
Because I'm sure there's somewhere better to be
But I'm still glued to my seat

I don't know what I expected
Why am I even here?
It's pointless and I'm irrelevant and rejected

I bet Shakespeare wrote something more tragic than this
And I swear I'm losing my mind
For a wish or a kiss or a guitar pick

I'm getting anxious and my hands are cold
I'm shaking and faking and falling apart
Because no one will ask what I wrote

And I don't even know what this means anymore
I'm just praying to be invisible forever
Because not existing has got to be better than before

I don't know what I thought that I was doing
I'm a mess and I'm just work
God, why aren't my feet moving?

It's getting worse and it's getting dark
I'm so glad I don't work in the morning
For the sake of my sanity and my heart

If I could stop writing then maybe it would be okay
But the words are writing themselves now
And the room is turning grey

What if I passed out--what if I just died?
That might be so much easier
Than getting up and walking outside.

AllAtOnce Sep 2017

incognito and collectivo

you know i hate the taste of this coffee
like your name on my weathered lips
it's a little bitter and a little hot
and all kinds of acidic

and the cup is orange and black and white
like i imagine the color of your soul
all kinds of autumn and october
with a whole lot left to know

it breaks my heart and burns my tongue
just like i'll smash the recycled cup
maybe i need to let it go
and just stick to my starbucks

maybe i just want some (thing) (one) different.

AllAtOnce Sep 2017

Kingdom to Me

I don't think that you even knew
That the best part of our little world
Was spending time with you

You're the king to my queen and the kingdom to me
Breaking the rules and changing everything
Arguing over inky blood and silly decrees

And I'll write the words if you'll break the news
Behind the scenes with a handful of fleets
But alone I'm tongue tied and bruised

So put on your crown and take my hand
Strike up a tune and grab your staff
We'll rule the world we'll rule the land.