Music is the only remedy to the pain of deep misery
the notes light up the soul with sweet history.
We remember the dance that  made us smile
we treasure the simple spot on the radio dial.
If only life was always music and notes
it would be a castle in heaven without moats.
But alas, gold and tone are not easy to find
they are a mystery to all but those with a special mind.
I love to dance around my room at night in crazy swirls
thinking of my history and all the sweetest girls.
Now I am old and all is just a distant past
thrown upon a table top when the die is cast.
So I wait until the closing act to seal my final fate
the hardest part is when the old have to sit and wait.

Self-Harm
Self-Hate
Mis-Used
Mis-Placed

My faith is running thin,
My world is turned upside down,
Always committing a sin,
The demons are forever bound

Self-Harm
Self-Hate
Mis-Used
Mis-Placed

The constant thought of purging,
The teasing of a knife,
The thought is always urging,
To end this helpless life
Self-Harm

Self-Hate
Mis-Used
Mis-Placed

The breaking of a single heart,
The pain whipping through my head,
Just when you think you’ll shatter apart,
The pain begins to numb instead

Self-Harm
Self-Hate
Mis-Used
Mis-Placed

My soul is now hollow,
I can no longer feel pain,
Take another pill to swallow,
In order to stay sane

Self-Harm
Self-Hate
Mis-Used
Mis-Placed

Living for tomorrow,
Yet stuck in the past,
Wallowing in my sorrow,
My life is fading fast

Self-Harm
Self-Hate
Mis-Used
Mis-Placed

Dear Amy,

Look at me.
Please.
Just one acknowledgment will help.
I hate having you angry at me.
Our petty fights have never lasted past a day...
but I realize that this isn't one of those fights.

...I'm not sorry, not one bit.
I don't regret this at all.
But here's what you need to understand:  
I can't help it.
I can't change my heart and my feelings and who those feelings are directed towards.
I don't see her body, I see the person she is.
Yes, I realize she's one of your closest friends.
Yes, I realize it was wrong not to tell you immediately.
Yes, I realize that this changes the way you see me...

But I am still me.

My heart is just more open now.
I'm so happy, Amy.
Really happy.
Don't you see that?
You were the one who said I was acting differently...
Apparently, you knew why.
Why didn't you come and talk to me, just ask me yourself?
I'm not turning this on you, promise.
Just wondering why you didn't want to talk about your suspicions.

I was going to tell you, just didn't know how to yet.
Sorry you had to find out from two people I don't even consider friends anymore.
(And if both of you see this, I hope you feel like ****.)
Now that I know how to tell you, you won't speak to me.
Maybe I'll just print this out or send you the link...

Until you start speaking to me (and Rachel) again:

I love you.

All my love,
*Leigh

Talk to me like
Minimum wage.
Three kids in different grades
happy to get sneakers on Christmas.
Two to a bed until puberty
hoping bus fare doesn’t go up.

Talk to me like
I’m sorry I can’t hear you
I’m scared that I’m pregnant and what my boyfriend will do
because I don’t want to marry him
but if you’re pregnant you keep it and you marry him.

Talk to me like
Can I help you?
I’ll trade you for some tuition money.

Talk to me like
Let me go check in the back
My brother’s in jail again
because he broke into our house to steal money
and he’s high again and it’s his fault
but it’s Dad’s fault for leaving.

Talk to me like
I’m sorry
I apologize
What can I do
Here’s a discount
Like she cheated
Like he’s dead
Like I’m you
in my shoes.

Dearest Sweet Woman,
You are made of the most beautiful dust in the universe. Ever lighted from above. A dream of the most beautiful.  I can not explain the perfection in you, your touch and glance.  My body melted, my hearing heightened. I am of the most basic form in the most basic of man.  I yearn for your touch and attention.

We're talking about evolution in biology
makes you think a little about things like
cause-and-effect, or the-natural-flow-of-events
and it makes people like me think about summer,
how the fires of our hearts have been numbed
for a little too long,
and they're just now getting rekindled.
The grass pokes through the matted sheets of brown,
and the world's pulse goes dun, dundun, dundundun,
dundundundundundundun;
I wake up in the morning and it's a brave kind of day.
I've never felt the awakening as much as I am this year, but then,
I've never felt the winter as hard as I have this year;
so my blood, was frozen, now finally pumps with the coming of spring.