I'm so done with what this world has become, everyone turning on everyone. Watching blood run dry when your mother turns her eye and watches her son destroy his life. What a sad time to be alive. But this is what it is to exist. Everyone has there own issue that they have to go through , but it seems to you that yours are bigger then every other person that roams this earth. It is What it is I guess , you can't change the soul if the body doesn't want to follow. So you watch as the family you love slowly slip away into there own insanity, its kind of maddening wondering why I'm still trying to help cause all they do is yell at me and there telling me I'm the one over reacting to watching my loved ones killing themselves off....it's kind of crazy cause I'm not talking about suicide I'm talking about mental illness and the damaging affects it leaves in someone's brain and it something that affects me , you , your families and everyone thats around you.

I just wanna see you one more time.....

So I can spit in your ******* face for making me think I wasn't good enough,
For making me lay In my bed with tears swelling in my eyes wondering what I did wrong, why you didn't love me the way I loved you.
For making me even ******* think that you loved me in the first place.

******* and every **** thing you stand for.
Those green eyes you have only hide the real piece of human garbage you actually are.
I hope one day that you meet a girl that makes you feel the way you made me feel about you and she puts out your flame like you did too me.

*******

Fall in love with the person who made you believe in soul mates when you had no hope there was anyone in this world who was right for you

You shall lose your battle to win my heart.
I do not care for a man that shows his bronze.
I care for a man that can show me passion and elegance.
I am a woman of the court and of the higher virtues.
I shall love you and be your Queen ,
But you must lay down your weapons and show me more then the masculine side that I've only known for my hand in marriage.
So go on with your quest let's just hope that in the end you show me what I want see with my own 2 looking glasses or be gone from my presence for a thousand new moons.

You're voice can make the craving for a cigarette disappear.
No one before you has been able to achieve that .
They were the reasons why my packs ended up empty so fast.
But You.....



You destroy the urge to light up a stog and **** myself a little faster.

The first graze of each others skin touching sparked a little spiritual energy.
I knew from that moment you were more like me then I thought.
I saw the eyebrow rise and the smirk you gave me too.
You knew.
We both knew.
Possessing the abilities to feel others emotions by touch by the energy they give off is an amazing ability but also a curse at times.
Being an Empath and finding someone of that same nature with the same spiritual strength is something truly magical .

You make me wanna say things I shouldn't say.
You spoke that to me as we laid together.
The feeling is mutual but we stay silent for the fear of being broken again.
Time has taken its toll on both you and I .
Love lose and heart shattered.
Time and Time again.
Both just trying to coexist together without being torn apart molecule by molecule .
We fear each others exists cause of the close attachment already forming between us.
Just we both can't realize that one anothers intentions are just too be together and fall into the deep abyss we call love.

All energy in the universe revolves around The Dark & The Light.
Manifesting itself,
Bring vibrations in the atmosphere around not just me but also
You.
We all our the energy The Dark & The Light.
Human by nature,
Wiccan by heart.
Magic in our hands,
Spell in our voices ,
Protections in our books.
We belong to the earth ,
To not cause harm but to prevent it.

Rain,Rain don't go away I want to see you everyday.
Like in my head,
You will stay and drown me everyday.
My brains filled with mist,
And thoughts like a down pour.
I'll overthink until I'm submerged,
And I'll die for sure.

What I want to touch my lips is your, but it's 2 a.m. and you're dreaming well the only thing touching my lips is this cigarette.

You're like a math problem with no solution,
A cigarette with no end.
An addiction I can't get rid off,
Like ******.
I wish I could fix the damage I've done,
But there's no solution to my problem.
I've caused my own heartbreak,
Now I have to watch you walk away.

What if every smile you saw on my face was a lie.
Every grin was just a sin that hid my depression.
What if everytime I say I'm fine was a lie.
Every fine was just a secret that hid my bleeding wounds on my thigh.
What if every step I took towards you was a lie.
Every step was a step backwards into my grave.
What if everytime I told you I wanted to Die wasn't a lie.
Everytime I say it brings me closer to the edge, to tasting the freedom, the pain relief.
What if I told you that nothing will change that.
How would you feel?
Cause I don't feel anything anymore.

Teenagers are unresponsive,rude and destructive.
Mood swings and attitudes are everywhere.
Drama queen stop over reacting.
It's just a phase you'll grow out of it.
Anxiety attack :
there over reacting!
Depression:
just get over yourself !
Self Harm:
attention seeking!
Enough Enough I can't take it.
A jump off a building, a noose around the neck, swallowing pills, and a bullet through there head.
When will you see, that everything you say is killing me.
Stop being weak, stop crying it will never get you anywhere.
Maybe I'm just not built for this world.
To many wants and not enoughs.
Maybe my body should lay to rest.
Stop over reacting, stop letting them get to you.
I'm trying but its not working.
Stop being a drama queen, GROW UP!
freeze
The jump made me feel free
The noose hurt but my last breath didn't
The pills made me sick but I felt better
All I heard was a loud bang but felt nothing.
Society ruined us
I could have a family
I could have fell in love
I could have been a Doctor
I could but never will because I fell victim to the demons in my head and the monsters that ruled my reality.
Just A Teenage Thing?
That thing ended my chances of every being anything I wanted to be.

You lay your head in your eternal bed.
Toss and Turn in the afterlife.
One breath, you open your eyes in darkness.
You focus your vision ,
realizing  your standing at the Heavenly lights.
Happy even if we are sad that your death was caused by your own hands.

I feared the dark as a child,
I feared my parents divorcing.
But mostly I feared drowning,
The water filling your lungs
Slowly suffocating you.
But now as a teenager I see drowning much differently.
I'm not being slowly engulfed in water.
No its being suffocated by self image,
Self worth.
How everyone preseves you slowly pushes your head under the metaphorical water.
Do you know how it feels to cry waterfalls cause of everyones perception of you?
Slowly drowning yourself with over thought thoughts.
The mind shoving blurs of never being enough,suicide, self harm and importantly self hatred into your brain and bones.
It's like a web of disorder is being spun around your body,
You can feel it constricted tightly into your skin cutting.
Every snicker, every glance, every whisper,
Seems to be about you.
The pure feeling of being naked infront of a room of people even If fully clothed is unbearable.
Uncomfortably, insecurity, self hate.
That's true fear.

If I stop breathing,
Don't be sad.
Cause my last breath
Gave another creature it's first gasp of air.

"Eyes Don't lie, like your pretty smile does"

There's a girl,
Who looks at life with such a sad expression.
She'll never let anyone look straight into her Emerald green eye's,
Cause all you'll see is her past,present, and future.
Her past holds her heart on a fish hook, cause he promised and lied.
Her present shows she's been playing the violin, except her arm is the violin and the bow is a razor.
Her future shows her six feet under.
She sheds so many tears for her pain,
The hurting consumes her little body.
She thinks about it all.
All the memories flood back at once.
She shivers and whimpers with the tears the tears staining her cheeka once more.
She looks at her reflection,
Her eye's are glowing a beautiful green.
The young girl smiles a sadistic grin into the mirror as more tears stain her pretty little face.
She whimpers one last time, then all you hear is a loud bang.
The poor girl lays lifeless on her floor, with a smile on her face and a slit across her throat.
She was only 17, but the world was to heavy for her shoulders to handle.

Every smile has a secret,
Something deep and devastating.
But nobody can tell the difference.
Stare into my eyes and you will shatter under the pressure of what you see.
I hold a dark burden within my heart,carried by my very soul.
I can look into this mirror right infront of me and see nothingness.
I hate this reflection,i hate what is staring right back at me. I just want to shatter the mirror into pieces cause thats how i truly feel.
Broken deep inside,shattered.
Nobody can fix me, I cut them and make them bleed.
But whats the use right?
Why try to love a broken mirror?

Elixir of liquefied malevolence,
Manifestation drowns your paradoxed spirit. Orbs of pure solar white lights try to penetrate, but darken desires engulf the sanctity of all once was a sanctuary to a blessed being.
This,This! Corrupted soul yearns for once made it a heavenly sage.
The plunge it has taken weakens the very core of all Angelic beings it once centuries ago had been.
Falling ,sentenced to be a Dammed Angel for not speaking, choosing to stay.
Wishing to return, wallowing to be a Magnificent white winged spirit once again.
But at last it will never be.