no
yes
non-
committal

I've got a heart
Full of bad decisions.

I've got feelings
With poor intuitions

I've got pain
That could strike fear
In thunder in rain.

I've got a boat
All aboard my ship of sorrow,
I don't care if I sink tomorrow.  
I don't know where I'm sailing
Looks on course for a river of  failing.

Tears of solitude, sinking my boat.
Swallowed pride, lump in throat.

Scarlet moon, illuminate my soul.
Starlight paths, make me  whole.

oh my angels I see you  clip your wings and die.
Everything  they taught you  in school was naught but a lie.

Cry, cry, cry

She loved me
and I threw it away.

The holidays are here
and the cold has frosted my heart.

I see everybody falling in love
and I'm reminded of you.

How lonely I've become
and how bitter I feel.

I miss you.
I miss the very concept of you.

All my cocoa has long since been frozen
and my porch has long since been a slick sheet of ice.

I suppose that all I really want this year
is to be warm again.

My heart has loved so many.
Ever-changing and ever lasting.
Going farther than I could ever believe.
And yet, I still get hurt and no amount of bandages,
nor thread can hold all of my pieces together.
I'm hoping that you know I still think of you and
my heart aches because I shattered yours:
something so elegant and valuable- broken.
only now do I realize that I've been wrong
right now I find that you didn't need me at all
right now I find that I needed you. More than anything. I'm
yearning for you to share some words with me again, but I know it wont happen
and rightfully so. I said I wasn't good enough, and I believed it, now more than ever. And still, I
neglected that you were telling me otherwise. That you still wanted me around.
Distance was my problem. How I longed to turn our tangled words into reality.
I still can't step onto my porch without having my mind flood full of regret.
maybe I'll stop with all of this nonsense of 'what ifs' and 'have beens' but for now it seems
impossible. I know I
still haven't met a soul as beautiful as yours or
someone who could make me feel so full with only their words.
You were that only person.
Only you could have done that. And when I drifted out of fear that you too would drift and leave me
under the sea to drown in the misery of a broken heart, you promised you
wouldn't.
I'm complicated. I'm afraid of heartbreak. I break hearts to save mine. Before anybody else can.
The pain of loneliness is truly unbearable. I know and feel how I'm going to be this way forever. If
Hell is a place on earth, I must be living it, spending
all day going over the words you had so tenderly given. So wrongfully given. I remember when
love existed between us. How palpable and real it was. How I could
list all the ways you touched my heart. The only person who meant it. The only person who ever did.
My god how I miss you.
Your title, body, notes, and
soul.
Only I could be such an idiot.
Understand, I'm so complicated. I'm so sorry. I know you're not coming back, but I never got to say, "I
love you."

The way her hair framed her face
was unlike anything I had ever seen.
It accentuated her character far too beautifully.
She often stayed shying away under it,
but when brushed away,
it revealed the most adorable face.
Her smile hidden behind hands.
She was fragile and amazing.
And as I gazed into her eyes,
I felt something I haven't in a long time.

Let's run away together.
Leave everything else.
And please, let me look into
those passionate eyes of
yours a little bit longer.