Reality can often be cruel
It can be unkind
As time speeds by in a blur,
I try to infer
What he means

“We won’t speak until you have remorse”
Remorse? For what?
For walking away as we screamed at each other?
For taking time to take the hard road like he often scolded me for not doing?
For what I did?

I had remorse for the betrayal and the backstabbing
So I changed.
I had remorse that I wasn’t doing well for myself
So I started working on those

Am I perfect?
No
I never will be
It’s plain to see
Only I am truly free

You beg me to keep fighting, where’s yours?
You ask me to grow, have you?
To quell the demons inside me, draw power over them
I can still hear yours running free and hurting both you and me.

You ask me to grow and change
Is it too much to ask you to do the same?
Talk to me, tell me what you need
I’m growing and changing, just like you wanted

Yet, I see you not budging an inch
Leaving me trapped, caught in a strain

You told me, your lovers and friends, they all have outgrown you
They all leave in the end…
What else are they supposed to do?
As you give them the chance to ascend
And you descend

You saved me from the dark abyss we were both drowning in
Threw me out as you sunk deeper
Now, it is my turn to save you
I hold out my hand for you
“If I can do it, so can you” I cry out

Will you take my hand? Let me help you?
Or will you sink further, drowning in the cold, dark silence?

He's at work, I'm home alone
Our mutual absence falls like a silent hammer
The distance carving deep into our hearts,
Slowly driving us apart
Our shared lives, a distant memory

My partner, so lonely, is breaking
As I scramble to fill the hole it's making
His face, the only one that comforts me
His arms, I miss wrapped around me
We long for what we knew

Times of laughter and fun,
When two hearts beat as one

In desperation and hope,
I reach for him again

Lovers, only by title
As our worlds seem to drift
Emotions spent, led to discontentment
Is there more? Is this the final score?

I hope to hear him say
He loves me all the way
Through the storm, we attempt to walk together
In hopes for reprieve

To be in each other's arms
Once again

Sometimes, you have to let go.
Be your own you and be openly you

Those who are true
Stick like glue

The fakes will give up their stakes
I'm telling you now
So you don't have to go through what I've been through

Be unapologetically you
The ones who will love YOU
Will find you

Boss,

I hope you are ok wherever you are. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don't think about you. My dreams always seem to involve reuniting with you again. I know I probably never will be able to but my brain is only showing me my greatest desire.

I’m not doing well without you..
What I did. It isn’t worth it. Nothing is…
I want to go back. I want to hold you in my arms again and tell you I love you
I want to kiss your forehead again and be able to rub my hands across your soft fur
I want to go to bed with you beside me, sleeping peacefully
You were my whole world, I hope you know that. My soul is shattered now you’re gone
I beg the powers that be for your return to me.
However, I know, I don’t deserve it
My reason to live
Still belongs with you

I’m not sure how to continue. Honestly, I’m not sure it’s worth it anymore. Your life was the most precious thing to me and I failed you. I wish to reunite with you one day Patches, tell me where you are and I’ll follow you there, even if it’s to the depths of Hell, I don’t care. I just want my life with you back. I want my reason to live back

I want my daughter back