Invisible
I feel invisible
Invisible to him
Invisible to them
Invisible to her
Invisible like an old, used sweater
Invisible like the breeze
Invisible like my unease
I feel invisible because no one notices me
No one
Except for you

Why do we like laughter?
Is it because it’s joyful?
Is it because it’s fulfilling?
Is it because it’s fun?
Is it because it is any of these?
For me, it’s none.
It is because it is distracting.
Distracting from the bad
Distracting from the good
Distracting from the in-between
Laughter is a way to just be…
Yourself.
Without the bad.
Without the good.
Without the in-between.
Laughter is a way to just be…
With the joke.

Transgender is more than a word, it is me
Righting the wrongs on your body, until you feel like the real you
Answering the same generic questions when you come out to new people
Not feeling quite right unless you're in that one gender-confirming outfit
Saying you are different, but never being heard by those few people
Giving people a pass on your name and pronouns because your scared to fix it
Ending year-long relationships because they don't accept you for you
Never being able to walk around shirtless because you can't afford top surgery
Determined to be happy when you look in the mirror one day in the future
Excitedly researching surgeons and colleges for your future
Randomly hating your body and having to mindlessly focus on something else

Blank
I'm a blank canvas
In that little pink blanket
Sat next to my sisters
Held in your arms
Cared for by your hands
Loved by your touch
I'm a blank canvas
So why
Why do you tell me to be ‘a perfect lady’
Why do you only buy me dresses and skirts
Why do you yell at me for wearing ‘boys clothes’
Why
I was a blank canvas
Now you’ve tried to paint me with pink
But I've painted over me with blue.

Happy
Sad
Anxious
Mad
Thrilled
Bummed
Fulfilled
Numbed
These feelings.
These thoughts.
These emotions.
These are what make us human
These actions
These mistakes
These are what make us unique to one another
These are what make us, us
These are what make you, you.

i climb the scaffolding
look down below
spirit faltering
will i die in the blow?

caffeine swirling,
dizziness whirling,
truth obscured
devil-lured

dry darkness,
unfeeling eyes,
dropping, heartless
out of the skies

failing, falling,
faster than water,
missed my calling,
embracing slaughter

but i'm still here,
didn't dare,
risk the fear
of devil's snare

I breath
I stand
I walk
I run
I live
I live for me
I live for my dreams
I live for my hopes
I live for the future
I live for the possibilities
I live for the chance
I live for the plans
I live for the want
I live for the need
I live for me