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Andrew Rolston Jun 2018
The price I'd pay to show you things
was more than I could afford.
It would have taken too long and I'm
afraid you would've got bored.

If you could see inside of me and
my thoughts were transparent.
I wouldn't have to write you this;
my thoughts would be apparent.

But since I left you hanging there,
swinging from my noose.
I thought the least that I could do,
was come back and cut you loose.

Imagine my surprise when I got back,
and you were nowhere to be found.
I followed your footsteps down the path
along these hallowed grounds.

I slink along with head hung low,
my footsteps fall in line.
Your scent is faint but I knew it well,
I'm scouring for any sign.

At last I've come to where you are,
You're standing arm in arm.
Your face is not what I had thought,
I look on with alarm.

I expected this woman all full of dread,
with somber ****** expression.
Instead, I see your face is full of joy -
my own, it shows depression.

The coward in me was happy to see
your face that shone so bright.
The reality was this you see
You were my guiding light.

Or should I say, you were that way...
I guess it's now untrue.
I know he gives you what I can't
and that will make me blue.

My days are dark and nothingness.
My absence couldn't cure.
You're still swimming in my veins
and man that **** is pure.

I tried to quit you, because I was
afraid of letting go.
Now I'm afraid I have no choice
and I wish it wasn't so.

I'll let you go, this time for good,
if you can answer this.
With your lips, when they touch his
Do you wish it was my kiss?
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Why does she torment me?
Her image haunts my brain
Laying seeds of emptiness
Bringing me so much pain

Never have I met a woman
Who could get inside my veins
Soak up all the blood inside
Leaving nothing but the stains

Does she even care about me?
Like if I live or die
If she seen my body inside a casket
Would she even stop to cry?

Sometimes I stand outside alone
In the dark it starts to rain
I look to the sky and just stare
The thought of her driving me insane

How could I ever blame her?
Even though she ripped out my heart
I hate when we're together
I hate it even more when we're apart
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Inoculated, and yet you disease me
You’re seeping into me through the cracks
Breaking my spinal column and tearing away at my flesh
Meshed together, entwined in my hardened veins
Restricting my blood flow as I become nauseous again

Ravenous hunger for my salty skin makes you weak
Now is my chance to break the chains that bind me
Rip apart your carcass and eat the maggots that crawl onto me
Drink the blood of the one I love and swallow her half hearted apologies
Vomiting starves the hunger as I become desolate again

Your insatiable lust for all things malevolent makes me a target
You dig your nails into me and scour my pulp for marks
Slashing away at my neck and licking it so tastelessly
Breached skin dries upon your venomous tongue
Blacken my lungs as I become irrelevant again

Enigmatic, and yet you’re as bare as they ******* come
You’re beaten, and battered, and altogether worn
Damp, moist sheets and memories of maladies
Are the only remnants of us I carry with me
Repose myself as YOU become nothing.
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
I used to think that I liked to play
Just **** with your head when I may
Watch you squirm to turn me on
No inner voice to stop the con
I made you believe that I cared for you
Made you believe my lies were true
I used to think it was just my thing
Doing all I could to make it sting

Now bleed for me while I bleed for you
And give up all you thought you knew
I tell you now, I won't lie to you
And when I bleed, I bleed through you

I was wrong in the past to mindfuck you
I still don't know why I do what I do
This sick ******* became an obsession
Thinking that in some way you'd learn a lesson
It was never my place to make it known
Knuckle crack skin, still flesh and bone
Fragile minds thinking at a dangerous pace
She's trying her best to conceal her face
She knows if she lets me see her eyes
A part of herself she has left behind
Changes the season; Wilts and dies
And when she breaks, my tears she cries

Now bleed for me while I bleed for you
And trust in everything we've been through
I tell you now, I can't lie to you
And when I breathe, I breathe through you

Nothing will ever change how you feel
I need you to know that it was real
As I yell to you from outside your wall
What once were all lies are now none at all
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Wretched thoughts float through me
Circling what I have left behind
Ripping down the walls of sympathy
Getting stuck inside the internal grind

Sludge comes out and slowly falls
Synapses destroyed when all went wrong
Crushed together by broken walls
What once was whole has long been gone

I blindly lead myself away from light
In a weak and defenseless mode I shift
Watching my dreams leave in the night
As careless as the snows that must always drift

Waves of paranoia and mindless thought
They crash upon me and pull me under
I try to break free from all that I have sought
A steady stream of thoughts erupt like thunder

My eyes open wide as my mind starts to race
It's like a new breath of life has entered me
My heart starts pumping new blood at feverish pace
My blackened lungs spread open so tenderly

I'm rebuilding my body and mind with borrowed parts
For a significant price I owe you what I borrow
This whole coming together or at least it starts
It's day one; this decomposing soul will live tomorrow
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
Don't speak a word
Don't make a sound
Come back down, beneath the underground
Don't say my name
Don't call anymore
Take a hint, my anemic *****
I got my hands in place
Wrapped around that pathetic face
Take it away, take it back, get it away, fade
Never gonna give you the satisfaction
No emotion is my only reaction
Bitter sweet, empty, cold feet, stained
A smile is an illusion
You hide yours so well
I'd make love not lust
In time I'll be fine
Now it's time to ****
Rotting corpse, On death's door
Look what I found
The screams sound like my dreams
Laughter was the sound
Impotent minds really ****
Andrew Rolston Feb 2018
I can't catch you
You're much too quick
Your fall from grace
It makes me sick

You don't even know
You're much too dumb
Do you even know
How to have fun?

You can't be happy
It's much too real
You cannot swallow
You must conceal

You always have
You always will
Lie wide awake
With sleeping pills

I can't get through
You're much too vague
You must avoid
Me like the plague

Here is the thing
I hate the most
I can't catch you
My ******* ghost
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