Oh you hear that?
It’s the belle
Not the bell
The belle
My belle
My ray belle

The sunshine in my life
The smile in my pocket
The number one person
Mine
All mine

I hear the belle ringing

I'm willing to dive
Into the unknown
With anyone
Just to escape

I wanna find out what's out there
And learn new things

Take me to this unknown world
And lets be alone
So we can be
Us

Yeah my life *****
Pretty bad
But I guess I don't look at you enough

I need to appreciate you more
All the things you've done for me
I love you RBM

Constant reminders
of the things I've done
Leave me alone
Please
please...

I won't forget
What I did to you
I'm sorry
Don't leave

don't leave...

Oh it’s been a day. A day of loneliness, a day of many emotions. I must admit that I’m not doing well, but neither is anybody else. I miss you. Where did you go? It’s been a while since you told me about your friends. I loved those stories. Where did you go? Did you hear me sing? I sang for you, but it’s no longer the same with you here. I still have your keyboard. I love it. Even when it doesn’t work or even when that stupid stand breaks, it’s yours and I love it. I miss telling you of all the new things I learned. I miss hugging you every time I see you. I miss your beautiful grey hair. Where have you been? You’ve only been “gone” for a little over a month, but you’ve really been gone for about 8 years. I miss you Shirley. I do. I can’t wait to catch up with you again someday. I need to see you smile at me one more time. I guess I’ll have to wait to see it again, but in the meantime, I’ll prepare all these stories for you. I love you. Your smile, your kindness. You. I love you so much grandma. You have no clue. Write back soon.

Love, Your grandson
ATW

I'm trapped
In this circle of sadness
And I can't get out
I try my hardest
I scream every night
I want to escape this town

I wanna drive away
I want to do stupid things
I wanna get in trouble
I want to find the tiny beautiful towns
I will escape
And you will come for me again

I wear my mask
In hopes you don't see me
Die

I will continue to wear my mask
It's comfortable
It keeps me safe
I can be who I want
Instead of myself
Who no one wants anyway

Where am I going
I'm stuck in place
In my stupid hometown
With belle, my love.

I kinda just feel lost
But I'll live
With all of this.
I'll get through it for you
And for myself, I suppose
Even though I find it hard

Where do I go?
What do I do?
How much longer do I live?
When can I give up...?

What’s the deal with this whole romance thing? Does anyone get it? Is any of it true? I don’t know who my soulmate is, but I hope they’re taking care of my heart, because I’ll want it back soon. Please don’t break me. I’m fragile. I can’t be hurt anymore. Not after what I’ve been through to get to you. All these love poems and love songs. All these nights sitting up in my bed thinking about what my kids will look like and who my wife will be. I hope I know you now, so I won’t have to get used to you later. I hope you make cute babies, because I need to make mom and dad proud. I’m drowning in my fear of dying alone. But I don’t need to, because I’ve got you babe. Wherever you are. Whether you sit at my lunch table, or if you barely know me. I know I have you.

Roses are red, the classic cliche you’ve heard so many times. But sometimes it’s nice to hear. When everything's out of order, at least something stays the same. Roses are red no matter what, they will never change for you or someone else. Sure, there's some different colored roses, but those are fake. They’re not the original, loveable red roses. Violets are blue, the one that I hate. Violet is meant to be a purplish color, not blue. That line doesn’t make sense. That represents the thing that’s always wrong in my life. Weather it’s fighting for a girl, fighting these thoughts that don’t shut up, or just the demons in general. Something's always wrong, and it's my job to fix it. Not anyone else’s, mine. I’ll fix this world, with my red, perfect roses and my blue, not so blue, not so right, violets. Roses are red, violets are blue. A cliche that represents my life perfectly.

This is now a shared account with my super duperrrrrrrrrr cool girlfriend RBM. She got her account taken away so we're gonna share. hehe

-ATW

An apology to myself

Oh god, why did I listen
And why did I stay
Why did I just let her control me
Use me
All for her to just stab me in the back
And I just let it happen
Even though I saw what was happening

In a way, it was all my fault
I’m hurt because of me
I gave too much trust
I gave too much love
And it ended in hell for me
I’ll never get my pride back

Dear myself
Please forgive me
For I was not thinking
I let you get hurt
And now we suffer daily for it
One day
I hope you can forgive me
For everything I did to you

I woke up happy as can be
And compared to last night, this is way better to see
Yesterday put me in the red
But this morning, I was actually able to get out of bed!

I'm sure it's all because of you
My RBM

I love you
forever and always

You and me
Me and you
Infinitely
Universally

There’s two
Two people who I’ve gotta stay alive for
But I have to say, it’s not so easy
With these thoughts constantly here
I don’t know about this anymore
I don’t know about staying alive

Yet I do
I know I’m gonna stay alive
I’ve attempted twice but...
But I won’t again...I just won’t
I think I can stay alive
I think

DFW and RBM
The things keeping me alive
My two
I’m two
My favorite two
He’s so ******* adorable
And she’s the love of my life
And they make me not want death
As much
As I usually do

I don’t live for me anymore
I do what others tell me
I do what I’m supposed to
I live on everyone else’s schedule
Not mine

I am not myself, nor can I be
Because I am living for people other than
Myself

That doesn't make much sense
But I'm so so so in love
Angrily in love
It's just so deep
And I'm so so so lucky

-ATW

Tick, tock, tick, tock
The minutes pass by
I want to be gone
I’ll be gone soon
I hope to be gone soon
It’ll all be over soon

Please oh please
I just need to be one
Pink or blue
Stay one forever
This back and fourth **** is driving me insane

When will I figure it out?

I see how you are
I know I'm safe
But how do you expect me to just be okay
After everything I've been through
How can I just give trust so easily...