I get to see this sweet man today.

He’s been running through my mind for days; I’d question if he even knows.

What strength his heart can hold!

But I know one thing for sure:
He’s already gotten this heart of mine to cure.

Have we been here before?
It seems all too familiar,
A very welcome, once-upon-a-memory.

It’s crazy how, with each other, you can be, you and, I can be me.

Communication flows like a river in continuous motion.

Not knowing where to go next,
But knowing there will be a next time.

It’s a spectacular feeling.
I can’t wait for when we get to see,
How much stronger our bond will be.

Getting to see this sweet man today
Has  given me the happiest outlook.
Oh, what it could it eventually be.

Sunray
She sits alone in this darkened room,
She’s made friends with the shadows and prays silently in the gloom.

Hiding in the shadows away from all the light.
Little does she know, you can’t always hide from the bright.

That’s when glimmers of hope begin to appear.
The dust starts to rise in the light of rays breaking away her fear.

That’s when the sunrays suddenly shine right in her eyes.
She’s in awe and wonders asking questions why?

All but suddenly standing to look around her illuminated, once-darkened space.
Such motivating brightness made it hard to turn her face.

This was a divine blessing in crepuscular rays.
She felt she could live in this light for days.

Sunrays sent from heaven by the Son of God above.
For in this moment, she realized she had been divinely blessed by the whitest of doves.

She found strength in a cosmic anointing as God heard her silent prayers.
The sunrays now glisten, golden strands in her hair.

God showed her his everlasting love and promise for her depression.
She now stands to face God in his glorious light where she learns her lesson.

She overcame darkness through God’s holy words, “But for you who honor me, goodness will shine upon you like the sun, with healing in its rays” (Mal 4:2).

Majestical sunrays shine down onto us here below.
showing us God cares and we should never let go.

Leanne written December 2024

Serendipity
Sweet, unexpected serendipity.
This deep bond has taken hold of us.
An unexpected force of emotion
Shot straight into our hearts,
A powerful, serendipitous feeling, so profound and sweet.
This happy accident started a great, ongoing connection.
Bringing its breathtaking power to our Unexpected souls.
We are together on this ride of sweet serendipity.
It’s true: there is a beautiful beginning for me and you.

Warmth
Warm internal feeling
Warm like a real embrace
Warm like a cozy fireside
But the warmth from you feels the best
At least I imagine it would be
Not a question or doubt in my mind
That it can feel and warm the entirety of me
This warmth your soul possesses, to me, is in another world, so intimate and enticing.
This has me feeling you’re here with me, even when you’re not.
A warmth I long for, even in the softest embrace.
This warmth between us is brand new.
Imagine what more time will do!

Coming out of a fog
It’s like you’ve been hidden away and out of sight;
Like you are invisible, no matter how much you fight.
This thin veil that once hid my face
Is now showing bright light;
it has been given such grace.
Coming out of the fog is such a beautiful thing;
Nothing is better than seeing what it brings.
This instant connection to the other side.
To feel the fog brush over my face
Makes me feel like I’m leading race.
What a treasure it is to be seen and heard,
With just the simplest of his words.
His voice envelops me like the warmest hug,
It’s wildly crazy that it’s been hidden under a rug.
The chill from the fog as I’m passing through
Makes me feel like the only presence here in this room.
I get these crazy chills all across my arms.
I know that this fog I pass through won’t cause me any harm.
My heart beats faster; I get a huge smile.
It’s quite amazing, even between  many miles.
It feels like you’ve been beside me throughout each day.
Man, it’s crazy how fast we connected this way.
To think I once knew this man before, But not really knowing him much, I can’t wait to learn more.
The passionate, intimate, and emotional feeling,
The spark seems to be igniting a fire
showing a deep connection with new meaning.
Experiencing this with you fills my heart so fine.
I'll be yours, and you will be mine.

Don't let this dream I dream slip away, don't let it leave the brightest spotlight of my day.

Silent like a sundial in the sunshine,
I can only wish to claim you as mine.

I promise I'm just orbiting the sun in its natural RAYs.
You're a beacon of hope shining through the sunbeams today.

For the moments we share, reaching out to my friend,
in heart, mind, and soul, this bond can never end.

Let our bond be one of a kind,
special, just as we dream,
like a lighthouse searching with its brightest beam.

I'm here not to possess you,
just to bask in the warmth of your words and smile.
Your presence is like still waters on the sea across the miles.

In the beautiful colors of life, you're the most beautiful shade I've seen.
The laughter flows naturally and gently, like water rolling in a stream,

Talking like we are weaving a beautiful tapestry with our words.
Time, like wings that grow on the most beautiful bird.

In your presence, I only wish to exist  one day.
Please don't stop showing me that I am worth the stay.

Of all the time passing, of all the days apart,
keep me close to you, in your thoughts and in your heart.



Leanne ☀️

Mold me


Like clay that can be recycled,
Then formed into something new.
This clay, like a rebirth, now loved,
This new reinvention shows the new you.
Like in the potter’s hands, he molds a beautiful shape,
One that once was just a lump of clay.
The potter’s hands can make this art anew, escape—
Like helping shape someone’s life one day.
We are like clay, being worked and formed.
This process is like the improvement of oneself.
Unlike the piece that once was unformed,
Now becomes something beautiful to display on a shelf.

The color blue,
not just a random hue.
Blue begins the start of each day and continues through the night.  
Blue like the sadness you feel when your not feeling right.
Blue as the tears falling from your cheek when you start to overthink.
Blue like the deep waters; some will tread, others will sink.
Blue like the birds who flutter their wings high in the nest,
and stay snuggled under their mother’s breast.
Blue like the blood pulsing in your veins keeps your body living.
Blue like the color eyes you stare deep they just keep giving.  
Blue like the bluebells growing in a patch,
just putting a smile on your face when you pass.
Blue like the hottest part of a flame from a fire,
never touch no matter how much you desire.
Blue like the flag that holds the white stars tight representing our freedom and our rights.
Blue like your fingers and toes getting frozen from the weather, making it hard to move
Blue like the moon that Elvis sang about and he swooned us, too.
Blue can be the faintest hue to the deepest hue.
Blue can always look so good on you,
no matter what your mood,
What’s not to love about the color blue?

What it feels like when I can’t breathe.
Like some thief just stole my joy,
Made me gasp for air.
It happens like this,
when I feel like no one cares.
Why am I like this?
So emotional,
Don’t they know it kills me,
to not be normal?
If I breathe in and out…
Like everyone else does.
Maybe I wouldn’t panic,
The endless teardrops barge past, my bloodshot, swollen eyes
Nothing about this is normal
But yet they criticize
Stop crying.
Just breathe.
There’s no need for tears.
It’s like being mocked has become my biggest fear.
It makes me feel insane.
And feel suffocated.
I know im not crazy,
I know im just different.
But for someone who suffers from, PTSD, there’s a big difference.
I have had my struggles and emotional trips. I have obsessive-compulsive thoughts that get stuck like a switch.
Some say it’s easy to handle
Just don’t think about it.
But once something is in my head, leaving doesn’t exist.
So if I’ve ever cared for you, you’re always in my head.
There’s no way for you to disappear even with a single med.
I just want to breathe normally.
I just want to be seen.
I just want to be okay.
I just want to be me.

Time checker  

I’m always a time checker,
Looking at my watch to see the time.

Questioning what’s coming up?
Looking always to see if im behind.

I hate to ever show up late to things,
But never like to be to early.

The countdown is always on ,
Waiting for the end of the day for me.

Always Checking how much time I have left before I go to sleep,
Until it’s time to wake.
So I can be awake and refreshed.

And take on another crazy day.
These crazy things I think about!
This silly thing called time.

Isn’t so silly when it goes to fast,
or seems to go to slow.
I hate spending so much time alone,

I love to be around the ones I love.
So maybe I can take a break from being a time checker and spend more time  just going with the flow.

Because there is one thing that’s for sure, time’s a precious thing,
So with me always checking time,
I’m just pushing away this beautiful life of mine.

Hanging in the gallery of my soul, decorating the walls. I’ve hung many canvases, some that you have never seen.

The wall behind me holds a portrait,  painted beautiful with hues of green and blue; this portrait shows things in life that have never been.

Next, you will see a canvas painted with a beautiful bouquet, showing all the things I’ve given away in life.

Look to your left—don’t turn too far, you might miss this tiny masterpiece that some call art. This tiny art piece shows the littlest kidney bean in the palm of my hand. What was once a dark spot on it, now removed, shows how much grace this little thing has produced.

As you walk by, you see a hanging, almost clear sheet; this is what it feels like when people look at me.

On the wall behind the sheet is a beautiful display showing many footprints of everyone who has walked in my life today.

In the corner, on a little shelf, a broken vessel sits. This vessel was put back together without its biggest piece. Though tattered and misshapen, this vessel still shows so much beauty.

On the biggest wall, by itself, you see a boldly shaped red heart painted so brightly; this piece shows how my heart feels when I am being loved just right.

So, as you have walked and wandered in this gallery of my soul, I hope you find comfort and know that not all of your precious art can be sold.

My lighthouse in storms
And times of life is you.

My lighthouse is my hope,
When things feel they may fall through.

My lighthouse guidance has helped, me endure the unthinkable
Helps me through times I need, healing and making sacrifices whenever able.

My lighthouse is such a guiding force,
Guiding me toward the correct turns, in the road to follow love’s course.

My lighthouse is stability, helping to steady me in its hold,
Never letting me go, a safe haven for me to live like gold.

My lighthouse guides me at night in my dreams,
Helping me follow all aspirations, always on my team.

My lighthouse is the light in my vision,
Helping to show clarity in all that’s been.

My lighthouse is my security always,
Keeping me safe and under a watchful light, in any unknown doorway.

My lighthouse stays ever steady in its love;
I’m always looking for its guiding light above.

What do you see when you look my way?
Do you see me, or do you see something else?
Do you see all the imperfections I possess?
These imperfections make me feel less.
Like the shell of a girl in a picture frame.
Do you see what I see in the mirror looking back at me?
A body, all deformed but shapely; this body has had two beautiful babies.
What do you see when you look at my face?
Do you see the unevenness of my eyebrows and the squint in my left eye?
Maybe there are enough glasses for it to hide behind.
Do you see the freckles splattered on my face?
The sun hasn't been gentle on this aging face.
What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see my darkened eyes, so deep and dark that the colors almost don't shine?
Do you see this hair? It's starting to thin with little strands of gray.
What do you see when you look at this aging woman who is almost forty years old?
Maybe…me?

Between the world and me,
a fateful friend,
a flowing fountain.
Between the world and me,
a picture in a frame,
a field of wildflowers.
Between the world and me,
a night that keeps the stars
and hangs the moon.
Between the world and me,
a compass to a map,
a ray of sunshine.
Between the world and me,
a book with a bookmark
marking my spot,
a happy ending to a story.
Between the world and me,
you are a lamp guiding me
into my dreams,
a song without words,
written in stone.
All the wonderful things
between the world and me.

Cover me in blankets
Cover me in warmth
Cover me from heartache
Cover me from storms
Cover me when I'm frightened
Cover me when I'm alone
Cover me with sweetness
Cover me with joy
Cover me with justice
Cover me with peace
Cover me with protection
Cover me while I sleep
Will you cover me always?
Cover me with your amazing grace
I know you will cover me
You don't see me as a disgrace
You cover me because I am yours
You gave your life for me
You cover me every day when you're watching over me
My comfort and my fortune
My eternal friend
You've covered me from the beginning
And you'll cover me till the end

In the quiet space of friendship,
is a place in which we fly
Not lovers, but friends under the same
stars in the same big, old sky.

Our bond, like a tapestry, threaded
and woven with care.
A sweet, pure friendship with such beautiful flair—

No need for the moon to whisper into our ear,
for there's  laughter, stories, and music we hear.

It's in this friendship dance that we do.
We both seem like mirrors,
reflecting each other.
A bond that's pure, almost
like sister and brother.

So here's to something that
will live on like space—
this friendship with you,
time cannot erase.

For in the end, you and I wll always be
such wonderful friends.

What’s the dill pickle?
Why are you so green?
Where do you come from?
Why do people think you’re mean?

You always taste so yummy,
Making my tummy very glad.
When I can’t have pickles, I
Get very sad.

Those green delicious spears such a delightful treat.
Some like them sour, and some weird ones like them sweet.

Pickles are the best snack in a lunch to pack,
Take them on a picnic, or eat them straight off the rack.

The best pickles are the ones straight from the cold.
Don’t forget the baby pickles; those things are so bold.

So when you hear, “What’s the dill pickle?”
Don’t think someone is asking you what’s up.
It’s them showing how much they love this snack.
This little snack you love to crunch.

Orbit

Put a satellite into orbit;
The galaxy will watch it with the stars.

The ones set in place for all to see
Tell us stories of who you are.

The influence of this earthly planet,
The way the gravitational force occurs.

In astronauts’ celestial explorations,
This space full of stars is yours.

The way the Earth orbits the biggest and brightest star.
Is the way this satellite orbits among the moon.

Never stopping to settle down,
But knowing this satellite is orbiting around.

Always moving,
I’ll never stop waiting.

The satellite will be coming back around again for me.

I remember beautiful daisies
from when I was just a child.

The world around me seemed
to be so big and wild.

When I was young,
I would always pick the
biggest daisy I could find.

Id walk along the concrete
to see who would be mine.

“He loves me, he loves me not.”

Is what I would say,
as I pulled each perfect petal
from its beautiful display.

Not to harm it, but to cherish
it's wish for me that day.
That’s why I still grab a daisy
every time I see one when I pass by.

Once this  beautiful daisy has  
bloomed. It has a special magic trick
that it likes to do so it doesn’t die.

It’s also been given the name “day’s eye.”

When night comes,
it closes its petals over
the “eye” of the day past.

Then morning  comes and the daisy
opens its petals like a ray,
and the “eye” is ready for its new day at last.

As I’ve gotten older,
I don’t see many daisies around.

If I do, I grab one and
pull it from the ground.

This pretty little daisy,
hidden in the weeds,

Does it really answer
who truly loves me?

I often wish, as I did
when I was a little child,

That life would be just that innocent,
filled with cheerfulness and joy,
like this symbolic flower
does today in the wild.

Im way to critical of myself,
It’s always something in my heart,I never feel I’m rested.

My brain gets too invested.

It’s like im a ticking time bomb, But not one that explodes.

But one who never knows when,Her emotions start to show.

Sometimes there’s  not a reason for All this silly pain.

It’s all seems pretty trivial,Seems to make me feel insane.

I hate to see my reflection  in the mirror On the wall.

Maybe that could be the problem.It’s just looking at all my flaws.

I never have liked what I see, i’ve always known why.

Can’t I just be pretty, to everyone else’s eyes?

I know looks don’t matter, It’s all just what inside your heart.

When critical of yourself, It’s when these feelings start.

I know I have my issues and probably drive people crazy.

I can’t help I get excited, I’m such a silly daisy.

I know I always ramble about nonsense all the time.

But see if im talking to someone then I’m keeping them occupied.

They won’t be so quick to judge me by how I come across.

Im really not trying to be anybody boss.

I always feel like when I turn my back.

Im the topic of discussion , on all the things I lack.

Will I ever be normal and not so in my head?

It’s starts in the morning and never settles till I’m in bed.

I guess im not the only one with this struggle everyday.

“Take a breath”, “Calm down”, “You’re going to be okay”.  

See, it’s never that easy; it’s not just the flip of a switch.

For if it were I wouldn’t feel like sometimes  I’m  such a *****.

I never mean to come off angry,  or even cut people off.

It’s just another product of one of my many flaws.

So, if you feel like me and are hypercritical, too.

Just know that there’s someone out there who knows exactly what you’re going through.

Anxiety and Fear

Looks like you’re holding a snow globe so intricate and sweet.
Once shaken, the snow starts falling in big sheets.

For this fragile snow globe is not ever really clear.
When it’s shaken and shaken again, then comes the fear.

You can’t see inside to the beautiful scene.
You start to panic; will the view ever be clean?

You keep shaking the snow globe harder and harder, and then,
The questions and anxiety creep right on in.

Will I ever get to see into this beautiful globe?
Why is it so hard to see through the snow?

Why is it like this, what did I do this time?
I’m always ruining something I feel every time .

This perfect snow globe will never be the same.
Why does it feel like I’m going insane?

I’m a huge mess of tears and fears.
This precious snow globe doesn’t deserve to be here.

I then take a seat and set the globe down.
Upon my face, there’s such a big frown.

I’m upset with myself; what did I do?
I’ve broken something beautiful, shiny, and new.

It’s then when I look at that snow in the globe start to slow down.
It starts to settle back down to the ground.

I start to breathe slower; the tears and fear calm their war.
It is then that I realize what I have done, and all becomes clear—

that I do have some power over my anxiety and fear.

Leanne

Under the moonlight, into the deep darkness,
The pale indigo moonbeams shine on all things here on Earth.
The stillness in the air causes the trees to stand alert.
Moonlight shines onto the creek where your dreams overflow.
I'm holding onto the moonlight casting down towards the dirt,
hitting rocks and pebbles like hidden silver treasure for me to search.
Each star, specifically placed in the sky, shines down, sparkling like diamonds into my eyes.
They reach the dull, dark brown hue and make them shine bright and new.
Down here, the nighttime sky guides me from behind,
sure to light the way so I am safe and secure from the deep darkness ahead.  
As I look, I see a white, cotton-like pillow on the ground.
It seems to be be a cloud that has fallen down.
It's not just a cloud that lay undisturbed,
but it's lit from within, like stars and moonbeams were placed inside.
This pillow is hard to resist; the comfort is evident from the sight of it.
I grab it up into my arms and hold it tight.
I carry it inside to sleep with it for the night.
I fall asleep so easily and relaxed with this pillow under my head.
Instantly dreaming of the nighttime sky that rescued me from the darkness I can finally leave behind.

Emotional release,
A cleansing for your soul.
Sadness has a way to cease;
Happiness is on a roll.
The shock of life’s moments,
These are raindrops of the soul.
Expressing what you feel inside,
No need for noise or attention.
Just showing raw emotion,
Sometimes even in a rage.
These are the silent words of the soul,
The flow of sorrow’s river.
When grief or sadness draws near,
Emotional breakdowns and uncontrollable sadness—maybe fear?
These things happen to anyone.
These tiny little drops of dew,
Like those on the fresh morning green,
Are just tiny teardrops we all have seen.
If you haven’t, don’t say you never will.
These drops fall like a steady rain,
Not to hurt you or bring you down;
These are healing for you,
Like a medicine you release to relieve yourself.
These are your tears.

These **** bottles of pills.
What kind of person have you made me?
When I take these little pills.
It’s only to alter some brain chemistry.

Lately it seems as if they are making me mad.
Quickly destroying all that I have.
These **** bottles of pills,
Yell out from the shelf.
“Please take me I’m here for your mental health”.
The problem with these **** little pills,
Is are they causing a problem, not letting me be free.

Tuning me into a mess, and not letting me be me.
This plastic facud I place on everyday.
Let’s me fake out everyone, Like,
“look she’s okay”.
Really though am I?
Have you seen this whack?

I’ve become obsessive, angry, and an emotional train wreck.
It’s taken over my sweet little brain.
Makes me feel as if I’m insane.

“Take this pill for your anxiety, even though it says depression”
“Oh and take this one, it will help you focus.”
“But keep in mind it also keys you up so your anxiety may be running little a muck.”
“Oh and don’t forget these pills they will settle you down, help you not have another run of the mill panic attack.”

Lets be real for a minute, let me ask you a question, how do you know that?
Only I know the real me and the one whos mind is off track.
Sometimes I feel like these pills are making me lose all control.
Like I have no say in what my brain tells these idle hands to hold.

I just jump in headfirst and keep diving in,
Not thinking of others’ hearts and what I might do to them.
Moral of the story is: Stop blaming the bottle of pills.
Keep control of yourself; don’t let yourself falter.
Find other things to occupy your brain rather than laying your pills on the altar.
Don’t worship the pills like it’s the only way out.

You are the person you were meant to be.
Let’s take away this mental health stigma and stand up for yourself.
I promise you’re really not crazy.
We all suffer from some type of mental health issue; you are not lazy.

She's always in her mind,
looking for things she can never find.
She's chasing crazy dreams and wishes.
She's always chasing ***** dishes.
She's always in her mind,
looking for love she left behind.
She's always overthinking every situation,
causing her to wander to higher elevations.
She's always in her mind,
running from troublesome thoughts on the carousel you wind.
She's a worrier, always expecting the worst.
Why did she ever think of these troublesome thoughts at first?
She's always in her mind,
always working and on the grind.
She has to finish what she starts.
When she doesn't, she feels she shatters beautiful art.
She's always in her mind,
looking for ways she can always be kind.
She feels she's doing something sweet
when she gives loved ones things she finds neat.
She's always in her mind,
feeling as if she's leaving people behind,
she stresses over how others feel.
It makes her upset, almost ill.
She's always in her mind,
almost as if she feels confined, like a person locked in a room,
like she's chained and faces an uncertain doom.
She's always in her mind,
almost as if she were dressed up and disguised; she puts on a mask to show off a smile. Sometimes it's something you haven't seen for a while.
She's always in her mind,
Maybe it's what she was prescribed.
She sometimes feels crazy and she doesn't fit in.
But boy does she love when she's pulled into them.
She's always in her mind a scary place to be, but if she weren't in her mind, she wouldn't be.

Powdered concrete broken down,
Rocks show on the barren ground.
Tiny particles of dust and sand,
The dirt is rich in this poor land.
But you see a **** poke from a crack—
That's just a sign of beauty, new growth pushing concrete back.
The **** bares a sight of simple charm,
The sweetest daisy, growing strong, green leaves for arms.
The beauty this daisy possesses shows such grace;
It shines upon her yellow florets, her face.
What beauty comes from something walked on,
Something that's kicked and never looked upon!
This beautiful daisy, not only a new birth from the ground,
Shows signs of a new beginning and joy all around.

A moment

A moment in time
Does this flip on a dime
A moment in time
Hanging on like a lifeline
Does this moment in time vanish
Fast like a breeze
Or this moment we speak of roll like the seas
This moment is yours its all up to you
You spend these moments anway that you choose.
Spend them fast where your holding on for dear life
Let them go like a rock dancing across the ice
However you spend these moments let no one judge you
For I'll tell them they're all wrong.
This moment in time is your choice to have
Dont put this fate into another ones slippery hands.

Leanne10/21/24

Stars upon which I gaze from here on Earth,
Each one special, formed in space in its "solar birth."
When I look up to find my "special star,"
In one swift scan, I see you shining so bright, yet so far.
It's hard to find you sometimes with other stars shooting by so fast.
If I could just grab you and keep you, my "special star" in a jar so you could last.
Oh, if I could just hold you right here in this jar made of glass...
I can never touch you by hand, as you're a giant ball of gas.
But if I were to keep you sitting high on a mantle,
My "special star" would be like a trophy in a fine case, only for my hands to handle.
My "special star" is a treasure, so
If you take it from me and then let it go,
My heart would shatter like glass,
My heart would disappear like vapor,
If my "special star" is taken from me, then my constellation would not be complete.
My constellation wouldn't home my "special star" that completes the entirety of me.

Leanne 11/15/24 updated 12/3/24

Rain falls swiftly from the sky,
Feeling like little knives stabbing into my skin.
I try to duck and find cover,
All I can do is wait in pain until it's over.

Leanne
11/23/24

Whether you reach for a friend or a lover,
Always remember to reach for Mother.
When you reach, hold on tight;
Don't let what you love take flight.
Reach for stars, goals, and one another.

Leanne 11/23/24

What's at the bottom of the bottle?
Is it sorrow, fears, and a life gone wrong?
Maybe what's at the bottom
is a little something more.
Maybe it's what you've been looking for?
Maybe it's where all your dreams have gone,
Maybe it's where all your days have been,
Maybe it's a life well-lived.
The best thing about bottles
is that when they are empty,
they can be refilled with
whatever you desire.
Maybe it can be filled with new, clear, refreshing water that makes you feel fresh and free.
Maybe it's something wrong for you, but it's your only way to breathe.
What's at the bottom of the bottle?
The choice is up to you,
Because what's at the bottom of the bottle is meant for only you.

11/23/24
Leanne

We are always on the edge of something:
On the edge of danger,
On the edge of anger,
On the edge of laughter,
On the edge of tears,
On the edge of falling—
In or out of love.
Whatever edge you are on,
Just know this edge is safe,
For at the bottom of this edge,
there is no cliff.
All you need is a little faith,
to make it to the end.

Leanne
11/23/24

The boat floats, the waves toss about,
My favorite thing about this movement,
Is the view with you within the boat.

Leanne
11/23/24

My heart beats steadily,
My face starts to flush.
When I'm beside you,
I get a big-time rush.

Leanne 11/21/24

In the eyes of my daughter, from the day she was born,
She had them locked on me like the cellar from the storm.
God knew what He was doing when He placed her in my life,
Just when things got crazy and there was so much strife.
The darkness of her big, brown eyes just pierced straight to my soul,
I delivered a missing piece, once missing, now she has made me whole.
I never thought the day would come when I'd have a precious baby girl,
I believe my daddy sent her from above to send me in a beautiful whirl.
It's never been too easy, yet never has been too rough,
But heaven gave this little girl specifically to us.
And boy, is she a tough one!
Don't cross her when she's mad. She is the prettiest little one I ever could have had.
The heart of an angel and the courage of a lioness,
Nothing has ever stopped my girl. She has always been so blessed.
She has always persevered and pushed on,
Even when she struggles and feels like she can't compete.

In the eyes of my daughter, from the day that she was born,
She took those big, brown eyes of hers and lit up my whole world.
And to this day, I look at her and can't believe she's my little girl. ♥️

Words have been left unspoken, like blank pages in a book.
I keep flipping through the pages, to take another look.
I find the words unwritten; they've never stained the page.
It's only you who can see them, only you know this silent rage.
The years that have been passing, fleeting swiftly by,
Our words left unspoken from our mouths, have been spoken through our eyes.
No one knows the magnitude the unspoken has been to bare.
It's crazy to believe there was another one out there who truly cared.
The unspoken words we've hidden deep inside our hearts,
This has made such an impact on me, as you've been the vital part.
In the silence of the unspoken, you still show that you care.
The brush of your hand, a smile, a gentle hug lets me know you're still there.
This unspoken that's always flowing, yet not heard or seen,
We both know the unspoken is there, but never speak of what it means.
In the quiet, our unspoken waits, never asking or never loud.
Our unspoken is strong and steady, even when the unspoken's not allowed.

The tree on the hill, the strong and majestic oak, has roots spreading out beyond the safety of its beautiful canopy.

Could he be the roots that steady this noble oak tree, protecting it against all in war and peace? He doesn't know he helps to hold her steady in the storm.

Could she be the faith-filled canopy that covers the roots of this righteous tree, offering the beautiful acorn seeds that help share the love and good luck to the deep roots beyond the ground?

Like the oak tree and its roots, they both steady one another without knowing what each other does. Can our souls steady each other and love so deeply without revealing it?

They will always be connected, like the tree on the hill that produces beautiful flowers of hope in the fall, which is when they reconnect by the heart.

They both are like this tree, filled with wisdom. This wisdom gives the oak longevity and slow growth, which makes it so wise.

The longevity of their connection has been there from the start. They both have just hidden it deep inside their hearts.

Like the tree on the hill, the roots and tree are connected like souls mended together.
We may not understand it, but we hold onto this connection, one which we never knew we had.

Just like the oak tree's connection with its roots, she will be there for him, and he will be there for her, like the tree on the hill, taking care of one another from below to above.

I'm just shell of who I once was,
I used to be much more
But lately I feel so empty
like I don't know what I'm for
Not to long ago I had alot of fans
People who looked up to me
Because I did so great
Today this isnt right
It's so not the case
I feel like I have let the most important
People down
Like I jumped into the deep end I can't swim
I might drown.
They expect a happy healthy home
But how can you have that
With a loser for a mom who can't seem to get on track
There's so many out there looking to hire
But when I turn in my resume it seems to be set on fire then they go about thier day
Why does no one want me? Do they know I'm a loser too?
I have so much I need to work for so much I don't want to loose.
I'm driving myself crazy like who have I become
I'm afraid I'll forget how to work and everything will go all wrong
I know people love and care for me deeply, if they only knew the hate I feel just at the reflection that I see
I could be talking crazy, it could all be in my mind
I feel like no one believes me but lord knows how hard I've tried.
I guess this is the new me ill have to get use to, being told your not wanted and then ignored by all
I guess this is the valley, no one told me how hard  I would fall.

Racing thoughts, uncontrollable thoughts at that, second guessing, stress, feeling maybe to obsessed.
This is what you do to me

**** you Anxiety

Sweaty palms ,heart beating fast, hyperventilating, lips turn to blue, air feels cut off
What do I need to do?

**** you Anxiety

It looks ok from the outer view but deep inside stomachs turning, I break a sweat, feels like all eyes are opened they are studying me.

**** you Anxiety

Take your meds! Did you take your meds? call your doctor that's what he says, it's not the problem cant you see nothing helps

**** you Anxiety

I wonder how normal feels? You mean you don't get flushed? your heart doesn't ache, your whole body doesn't shake?

**** you Anxiety

I guess it just me, this is who I am ,
some pitiful stricken Anxiety lamb.

**** you Anxiety

Seasons of Change

Change is inevitable; it happens to all,
No one is exempt.
We sometimes must fall.
There are mountains we may struggle to climb,
Then the deep valleys where the vines intertwine.
It doesn't matter if you're there for the view;
It's something that everyone will stumble through.
But it's life we are living; some things you can't change.
Don't fear the long trek or the rugged terrain.
The valleys may hurt you or fill you with fear,
But don't hesitate; your loved ones are near.
Keep pushing and climbing; you'll soon reach the top.
Then once you realize upon looking down,
The trek you have been on is oh so profound.
You notice the trees, the leaves have since gone;
You wonder where time went; its kept ticking on.
For your time in the valley, you never noticed the trees;
You couldn't see the season of change in the leaves,
A Change unnoticed; as you couldn't see, with your head bowed down, looking away from above.
In this season of change, still not knowing why you were placed on this path. Some things don't add up; you can't do the math.
You never saw the beauty; it was hidden by your pain. If you keep looking back, you'll be behind in the game.
The ones who love you also care; if they weren't friends, they wouldn't be there, waiting for you and cheering you on. Giving you comfort with words oh so strong. They have your back as they lead you ahead. They travel this journey with you; not one has fled.
Just keep pushing forward, climb to the top, enjoy all the seasons as change never stops.

Darkness

Eyes close, darkness rises.
My life has thrown a surplus of surprises,

Some good, others I wish had never started.
This life I loved, once shown in bright light,
Is now covered by a solace of night.

Will the light shine back upon me again so this **** dark in my eyes can fade into oblivion

With hope and a friendly face and words that take me to a special place,
That place there, it's abundantly clear, the darkness was just my raging fear

Waves

Waves toss me against the tide,
Pushing and pulling at my sides.
I wonder and wait, will it subside?
Can this wave be but a beautiful ride?
The turmoil, the danger, the roughness at sea,
Were these waves meant only for me?

Is rescue coming? Please, hopefully soon.
Will it pull me to safety? Will it be my safe haven and refuge?

Waves, oh, so beautiful, your colors of turquoise blue and pearl white,
But waves, oh, how your danger pulls me into your riptide.

Waves, please be calm, be still, please be at peace.
Let me rest upon your still seas.