~lets take rearview mirrors off life~

in the mornings
your lips taste bittersweet
lubricating my lips with premeditated longing
and cool passionate sorrows

Who am i
I am drowning
skin deep
Within my cavity.
I can feel me
heart is still beating
These eyes aren't mine.
Or at least
someone else inhabits them.
Every beat
screams
*Suffocate.

My head is floating anoungst the wave in open waters-

Sunk in my heart. 
My souls depart.
Leaving the worst parts
 of me.
Like autumn leaves,
I am weathered, dead and shaking.
However you are still fooled by my Elastic meat casings.

I remember when,
Months and years had a measurement of time.
When life was so small and intricate.
How slowly wrinkles use to show.
Now cement crease the smiles from yesterdays places.
Times like these remind me,
How hours turned to minutes,
And years turned to months,
Til eventually the years glass is up.
And when my final glass run dry,
I know there'd been no life left in me anyways.

They say home is where the heart is.
Well honey,
you have mine.
So come bring me home.
-Nestle me in your arms,
So I don't have to be homeless
no more.

My love is yours
My sweetest angel.
These morning I send my heart to you.
If only you knew that ever time
I said:
As you wish,
Sweet dreams,
Hello,
Your name...
Goodnight.
I said I love you.
In every vowel contains
The sweetest golden nectars
Of my dripping
Fervor.

As our reality flakes ashes in
loves grasp
growing cold
You were never here
My love

The heart is fatal.

you've been sullied
when you smell the virginity of water.
feel it cleanse
yesterdays sorrows
drip carelessly down your neck
cooling your spine
and run away through the transparency of refreshing rains
down the drain
releasing you from yourself.

A thousand bees 
Swarm o'er me
Pique flesh
With liquid fire
Flushing my body
In naked vermillion

I touch myself with your fingers 
As I lay here alone
Burden with the reminder 
I have only my own.

Each trace,
      Up
       And 
         Down.
Pleasureless.

Sublime
Skin
    Slips 
Slowly 
Ascending to the
Abyss

Excuse me while I pick the shards out of my breast

Seeded in the earth;
Condemned to Hell.
Break free,
From were you dwell.
Dead limbs reach for the sky-
White clouds are alive.
Swirlling blissfully-
As angels cry.

Rooted in the ground;
Devil bound.
You seeked for Heaven
And all you found was Hell-.

Dry up quickly,
And pray to die.
Life is beautiful was a lie.

The only thing I felt today
Was the burn of the suns radiance on my legs,

The only salvation was the light
Cracklings of my last ciggerette.

I watch the letters smolder brown to black.
Blackness flaking off of smokes back.
Dancing off in it's bittersweet serenade
I've succumbed to what exsistance I have made
I only wish to walk in the footsteps
In the last of my happiness.

My head is flooded
As I am drowned by doubt
Only to be drained from the lesions of poor decisions 
Why can't I bleed out

I'm glad to hear,
for a short moment,


                 laying on my lap,


talking,
  
          laughing,
      
                    massaging

eachot­her for hours
You felt connected to me.

I'm glad to hear
you "maybe" talking out your ***.

...And the harsh reality is you're only as valuable as what you produce

~my spirit is boundless ~
                 you break me free of my chamber
   the limits I had due to old casings is none existent
                                simply because you make me happy.~

I let my fingers graze the mesh of my cage
as my flesh cuts form the rage of past patients delusions to "escape".

I am blessed with the whites of the crux moon
to swim in it's beams it streams
allowing me to live in my daydreams
of the pearls in the graveyard I overlook.

Here I sit in my windowsill
looming over reality
as madness roams the exterior of my walls.

Hell dwells in children's eyes.

Living.
   Breathing.
      Madness.

lime lines*
             and
                broken m
                                   i
                                     r
                                        r  
               ­                            o
                                                r
                  
s
                                                      *h
    ­                                                                 ­                       
                     a
                                                             ­   

                                                    r
       ­                       

                             d
                      
                                      ­  
                                                   *s

cream lathered tongue,
resonating with endemic metallic.
tasteless mornings.

Through my third eye
I know I am of the constellations
That burst
As the heavenly father dusted us
To existence
So here I stand 
For nothing
A sin
With two broken feet
And I swear I'd give anything
To give my life to another
If only I hadn't known about
The temptations awaiting
In a tree
So with every ounce of my spirit
would I never curse my worse enemy with my disease

Lace me a crown of dead flowers,
  white petals tainted.
Cut me with thorns of new life,
dance to death in circles
Through the honeysuckles.
For you my loves
For you
may queen
For you

I know her by bittersweet, 
And she tastes like melancholy. 
My morsel of perplexing regrets.

Bathing in my own filth,
I feel the gravity of my own weight settle
As sins drain around me.
Leaving me wrinkled,
Dripping.
From the parts of me I'm unable to take.
Cleansed I am not.

3 years
chained to you.

2 months
I fly with him.

1st time
I find myself.

So it seems
Within the last 10 seconds
She's grew up.
The face of a woman
On a young girl.
Crows feet walk the rims of her eyes
Leaving delicate prints
Death of a child
Seems to be unnoted
At such a young age.

Bed ridden,
Cold,
And Barely breathing.

I await you to drift in,
Like turning leaves in autmun wind.
Chasing your shadow through the corners of my latency

Make me believe in fairies.

Dance me in violet haze 
twirl me with nymphs of woods everlasting  
let me prance my weaknesses down 
Through apath of serenities among orange speckled wild lilies 
Take me where I can breathe 
Besides these letters of make believe pages.

Drafts of smoke from old flames
Never cease to be stale
With embedded memories

I have yet to meet your face which makes it so strange that i already seen your eyes. 

I've seen your anatomy in constellations as i take my lonesome walks at night.

It is you that illuminates my way     As the crux moonlight shines the seas with my hope to greet you.

 I have yet to meet your tender lips but I know they hail from Venus.

Aphrodite has baptized every square inch of your flesh with her sweet nectar and filled you with ambrosia.

 me,
To salivate over the heavenly sweet honeys your heart is made of.

To sip the wines of body.

To quiver whilst the aromas of Spiced leaves and freshly cut wild roses travel down my throat to course your brilliance swirling through my veins.

How I wish to taste you

to merely taste you.

To taste your passions would satisfy and bind me with violet laces to the end of time.

Death must be so beautiful.
To lay softly underneath alively tree whilst green grass sway above ones head listening to timeless silence.
To have no yesterday,
and no worries of tomorrow.
To forget time
To forgive life
you are finally at peace.

I dream of the breaths that I take with your body imprinting mine crushes out my exhale

I dream of the instinctive arch my back will bridge as I water from your company

I dream of my blushed cheeks tension as I kiss you while smiling

I dream of the mornings waking beneath your sheets together

It's always 

Pass the woman silence,

Pass the last kiss of winter chills,

The exhaling calm breath of breaking dawn rolling down your cheek to rest on your shoulder
            
          Tomorrow never kills

Run naked and eat Oreos
Walking barefoot licking ice-cream
Holding hands blushing lightly
laying naked and tasting cannabis
Walking barefoot finding *****

Lonesome is
Seeing illuminated walls and only noticing the bodiless shadows

My arteries tangle 
Bestowed with anxieties
I know what awaits me 
celebrating a fantasy 
Of drunkin junkies in disarray
Allow me to adjust my mask for this masquerade
Ive reached judgement day
Of shared blood I haven't seen in a half a decade
Forced smiles to distant cameras
Cover up track marks
Oh god, none has yet changed
Let me sit back and disengage 
Refining my predetermined misanthrope ways.

Unspoken words
Speak volumes.

To Whom it May Concern,
i write to you a dead man.
my thoughts have been long forgotten
my fingertips stroke lives leaving only track marks.
I shed foreign skin of a body i belong to no longer.
drained and pale
i rot while grimacing
at the living carcasses i see at play
if only they knew
the world fades to grey.
    sincerely,
          A decaying soul

slipping little feet into mothers shoes
lipstick deforms little pink lips
plastic curlers tangle knots
hands wiggle free from oversize cloths
that child is me
i am that child today
bewildered by our society
a child i stay.

I am not a wise girl.
I'm foolish at best, 
All I know of this universe lays beneath the crevasses etched in my skin that I wasn't even a conscious being to know how they even got there.
I know of the silk ribbons that are my legs, 
do wonders.
I know the highlights of my stripped hair, 
attract a variety of strangers.
I know the painted mask I smear makes people believe I am
"pretty",
Valuable.
Within the vanity of my reality 
Remains the wish for authenticity,
I am not a doll.
I will not say "I love you"
As you try to pull my string.
I've ripped that from my back years ago,
For I play no foolish games, 
And for that I'm seen as *broken.

Paper walls hide no secrets
Of the nights we laid together.
Silkscreen laced curtains fabricated of our exacerbations
Magnify the impressions of our newspaper walls.

Sing me sweet nothings,
Allow me to ride on your melodies of high pitched sincerities

It's become more apparent 
words are the only intimacy 
How unfathomable the desire of understanding 
        Knowledge
               passion 
that hundreds of cells and molecules came together to create vibrations just to express it:
   Just to connect
        To be intimate

A thousand letters ago 
my declarations meant galaxies
Ink smudged constellations only
a nebula to your Globular cluster 
As time waned so did the layers of the universe 
After being rooted in the milky way 
I found andromeda
Knowing fated arms will intertwine
 I discovered that love was everlasting outside of those forced letters of an old province

He whispers me late night daydreams.

Maybe I want to make you breakfast.
Maybe I want to find out what foods you like.
Why you like them
Where you first tried them

Maybe we should start with a coffee..........

timid silence...
     untying the bow of my lips

Maybe I'm a hopeless fool
                                                           ­                   Maybe I was smiling.




Have you ever kiss someone and you can feel them smile

                                                         ­          

                                                     ­                          yeah,
                                                                ­        I like coffee by the way

                                 Some day,
                                    

                                               Some day.

So what if I am nothing
It's more than I'd like to be

Don't write me 
Lines of your deceit 
Don't touch my heart
When you just want to touch my inner thighs
Don't look me in the eyes
When they'd rather wonder
Don't treat me like something
When im nothing