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Apr 2014 · 1.1k
Affaire De Coeur
A Apr 2014
Intoxicated* by the sweet juices of your lips,
I slurp your affections
having them flow into the fjord of my mouth
As your tongue seeks refuge.
I wallow slowly into your seductions
blushed with moonlit lavender and ****** secrets
yearning for an escape through your ecstasies
Apr 2014 · 606
Ember
A Apr 2014
Crawling into the cove of your neck as my shelter
I devour you.
Filling my hearth with the the coals I mined from your company.
Smoke and free spirited sparks that dance from smoldering ashes
are enclosed within my walls,
Forcing me to exhale my solitude
Your skin,
        Light as air,
          tenderly caressing spring tree branches
Your warmth,
         Radiates onto my exterior,
          As the rays of the sun amid a summer sunset.
My lips moisten,
        Wanting to taste the paradise that I've been dreaming.
Mar 2014 · 405
Mind, heart, body
A Mar 2014
Mind
boiling
     rapid
          compressed
       dumb

Heart
puckered
           dripping
        sublime

Body
vulnerable
              weak
             timid
       frail

GO AWAY
Mar 2014 · 302
Damned to Hell
A Mar 2014
****** to hell

     life of loneliness 

Words dripped from your ever feeding mouth
Drenched in your drugged reality
I opposed with confidence
                           you 
                           * destroy*
                                        me
Mar 2014 · 477
Goodnight buddy
A Mar 2014
So I've been finding myself thinking of you as I watch the clock
Tick
And tick
And tick
My goodnight buddy, 
Where have you gone?
I miss you the early morning we dont lay awake talking nonsense 
Speaking in hypotheticals 
We slowly gather each others intimacies  
You come to me at perfect times
Easing my lips to a smile
we engage in a joyful nothing
Until the next night that ends as dawn begins
that begins with you asking me to stay up again because you wish to fall asleep to my voice.
To my goodnight buddy 
I wish you sweet dreams.
Mar 2014 · 1.4k
Coffee and novocaine
A Mar 2014
He read me my precautions
Only removing my own decay
In return his novocaine 
Don't you worry about nerve endings,
They'll splinter up eject themselves away
In time you'll teach yourself to capsulate the pain,
Just sign your essence away,
I'll give you more novocaine.


*"Sometimes it's better not to feel"
Mar 2014 · 821
Prize
A Mar 2014
i know i am not perfect
my teeth are crooked
i've lost my sheen
i'm aware of all the dents that are me
i know i am not perfect
for i am a re-gifted prize
however a prize is a prize
even if not in your eyes
Mar 2014 · 825
I want you
A Mar 2014
I don't know you
But I want you.
All of you.
I want to hear your voice
Speak warm laughters
I want your hands to
Trace my geography 
To have them laced in my hair
and lock my fingers
I want your gaze
To drown me
I want the bow of you lip
To see how they pout while listening 
I want you
All of you.
Mar 2014 · 1.4k
Fingerprint lives
A Mar 2014
They say,
that nothing you do is of much significance,
there's nothing you'll do that is of much importance,
but the small impact you make,
you have to do.

They say,
That your finger prints are permanent,
on someones life when you grab hold.
no matter how meek,
you leave your mark on their crime scene.

They say,
that love conquers all.
Your knight in shining armor will save you.
A young little pretty woman will love you for you and nurture  you,
until together you die,
on a warm day in bed together,
to continue your lives in eternity, in blissful peace.

They never say the truth.
The story of how we just so happen to be here.
How the only difference betwixt us and an animal is that we escaped natures food chain,
and have made our own controlled by pieces of paper and fat pigs congratulating eachother over brandy and illegal drugs on wall street feeding on our developed Darwinist society.

They never say
How no matter what you'll do your efforts are deleted months after your enviable death.
Self inflected or other wise.
So why do we value our fingerprint lives so dearly?
Mar 2014 · 4.9k
dysmorphia
A Mar 2014
My hipbones rock me on the wooden floor 
Protruding from my frame 
Skin bruises from simply laying on my stomach
Yet I am not skinny
 red lines mark where the folds of my stomach have been, 
my arm like wings 
my thighs hugging each other tightly
 stretching occasionally my eye catches the reflection of a stick like woman I can't recognize in the dark window until I realize she is me 
as that settles in my true details fill in 
morphing the strange woman into the ugly that is me. 
Striving to become the strange woman that once was 
I shove a finger down my throat
Mar 2014 · 578
Non responsive
A Mar 2014
I detest what you've made me become 
you ******* hate me 
I just don't understand why 
and I try 
oh do I ******* try 
but to communicate the recipient mustnt be a brick wall
A week ago you loved me
now I'm beneath your hellos however have enough energy to talk about me 
while I still can't fathom how I can't call you up about the thing I just saw that I knew would make you laugh 
the thought of that incapability handicaps me.
I don't even try to watch the same channels anymore because I know those situations where I'll lift myself from the couch only to collapse back down because you don't even want to see my number on your caller ID
I try not to but I cry. 
I cleanse my body from this pressure that has harden me from the inside out 
I feel so deeply I turned the feelings you've infected me with into water 
I begin to breathe 
To realize I can't feel
youve seen me and want none of it.
Mar 2014 · 922
Midnight company
A Mar 2014
Curled by myside you purr
Wet careless lips dampen me tenderly
Resting on your head on my shoulder
Your contentment nestles
Cradling me from my sorrows
Mar 2014 · 3.5k
Dear heroin
A Mar 2014
Dear ******,

I ******* hate you
I ******* HATE you
You ******* rot my loves
Inside out
Leaving death holes and track marks
Killing their teeth to Swiss cheese
******* nodding to sleep in the back seat
I ******* hate you
You ******* double crossing *****
You make them love and forget
Til then don't anymore
Cold and shivering
 you leave these "outcast junkies quivering 
To steal for their next 2 minute fix 
You ******* stole my loves from me 
Through their noses
Inhaling your bitter vinegar 
Shooting your warmth
I'm so ******* sick of you killing the kids I use to build sandcastles with
I ******* cry how you've infected old friends and lovers
Dear ******, 
I ******* hate you.
Mar 2014 · 521
Phantom ticking
A Mar 2014
Phantom tickings of hours laid awake staring at white blank wall ,
You see u am not here,
I have been gone for what seems like forever
I don't know who Iam anymore
You have injected into me flowing through my veins like lead
I am weighed down 
Heavy heart 
clinging on to old memories like a child holding a mothers hand in a bussling city sidewalk 
I knew I'd loose myself without your guidance
Weighed down in bed 
I've realized how big my bed is how much youve consumed every inch of me
Raw and scratched 
inside out you've severed my vocal cords 
I can't even objectify to your injustice 
Youve crawled out 
And for some ******* reason I still sleep with your sweaters hoping that they'll start to smell like you
I smoke your brand of cigarettes hoping that you'll call before I OD 
I love you to the point where I hate you
Feb 2014 · 592
Hyperhidrosis
A Feb 2014
I don't get why you'd carve me like this
Ripping out my heart
Grasping it in you iron grip
Clasping the blood in a bursting vessel
Through a laced ribbon
Controlling my breathing as you will
Heaving dry tears
A nail pierces my eardrum
Deaf to my newfound reality
Stuffed with what's acceptable for me to obtain
My casing is alien
Feeling only the nauseating saliva;
clammy sweat rubbing between my fingers
Succumbing to the meaningless reality we hail
Feb 2014 · 851
5am
A Feb 2014
5am
Lately you've been on my mind
While I was thinking about my problems
It's 5 am
the thought of you
Is peeling back my eyes
Laying in this bed of mine
I see you come through my bedroom
And lay by myside
As your tender hand carress
My outer thigh
I feel you breathe down my neck
You are the reason why I can't listen to the same songs that I use to
I doubt I go through your mind
It's 5 am
And the though of you peeled my eyes
Feb 2014 · 306
bits of me
A Feb 2014
an emptiness swells up in my chest
and i do nothing about it
i just wanna carve my chest up
and throw away these worthless bits of me
Feb 2014 · 327
frozen
A Feb 2014
Its been a lonely year
snow falls on another bright day
dusts death to the beauty of life.
nothing matters
frosted over
my reflection on sheets of ice
unable to recognize myself
thinking back when you use to make me feel like i use to walk on water
its just been such a lonely year.
if only i could take back the part of me
but now i cant find the words
im stuck
lost and dependent
on tender memories
dont tell me ill be fine
im hard and iced over
just waiting for my next good bye
with whatever left of me
Feb 2014 · 558
family gatherings
A Feb 2014
salt laced tingles fills lungs on a open bright day
drenched in Chardonnay slathered words.
laying in the soft grass of summer
we laugh and giggle stories.
talking to my sister hugged by her comforting words
the man next to us bends his needle
as he drifts off into a chemical ecstasy.
hooray for family gatherings
Feb 2014 · 368
fragment
A Feb 2014
fragmented
you have an impeccable way to make me know im nothing
ive helped u
healed you
loved you
yet when i want you
youre too far away and busy thought we live in the same town.
for weeks your too busy for a message
yet at a drop of the hat you can drive miles
seeing someone you haven't known in years.
this petty existence isnt enough
for i know despite the fact you tell me you love me
i know am nothing but a fragment of the history of your use to be lovers.
Jan 2014 · 504
smashed
A Jan 2014
you played me gently
your tender spanish guitar
******* at my nylon strings.
rocking my body
i sing our melody
your soul echoes through me
as i become your extended body
you caress my neck
                                stroking
                                           pressing
                                                       holding
my essences with tender love and care
the fiber of my heart string pull
as you rip me open
you pluck hard
as each fiber loosens
ripping the strings apart
i bleed this black blood
tainted with the smog
you infected me
you play with distortion
clashing echos as you squeeze me
smashed my body
And the music stops.
i lay in pieces
finding nothing in peace
Jan 2014 · 283
Sleep
A Jan 2014
I want my heart to stop beating
thoughts stop thinking
breathes to stop gasping
I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
Jan 2014 · 1.3k
sanity
A Jan 2014
i don't know weather time is dripping or running
but reality has woven a new life
the essences of it is ***** of green and purple
revealing everything is breathing and beautiful
as we age and die
from our lives of moments pass
we lay together in the tunnel of sanity
for reality becomes insanity.
Jan 2014 · 1.1k
August sun
A Jan 2014
August sun stung my eyes
as sweat trickled down my brow waiting.
Anxiety and Fantasy banged around in my head turning like a picture book
i saw you emerge from the blinding lights and heat waves
Baby i was smitten by you
inhaling deep sweet smokes from the tip of a pipe
i walked a concrete line as sweltering reality dipped and swerved
dancing around your carelessly moving body
Baby i was infatuated by you.
resting in the shadows of the day
I, i couldn't breathe
you stole the breath from me as you kissed me
i had an enviable lust for you
Baby i loved you
the gentle swerves became dodges
I grew impatient with you
having miserable meetings over your movements
you chose to move with someone else when i went to the bathroom
Baby i hated you.
blinded by the words burnt into my head
feeling her imprint where I
I was suppose to fit!
Baby i hated you!
i gave you my heart  and you burnt it!
BABY I LOVED YOU!
this monkey wrench beaten me into madness,
impaled by my rage
I ******* hate you!
your gentle touches ripped the fabric of my soul
you ******* murdered me!
Baby you burnt me.
leaving nothing but a ****** scarlet letter
i scrubbed my skin with sandpaper
And couldn't get rid of your traces
Baby i longed for you.
i needed you.
i loved you.
**I love you.
Jan 2014 · 680
And I Love it.
A Jan 2014
my heart is
concealed.
fluttering vibrations coat my throat holding the gasps of his essences I draw in
I am frozen.
convulsing on this bed
I am deaf
and I love it.
the buzzing in my head makes me weightless
I am floating
and I love it.
rolling my neck like a swan
I am freely chained to your body
and I love it.
feeding on your exhale
I am thriving
on your ecstasy alone
and I love it.
legs going numb
only feeling between my thighs
and I love it.
the burning on my ***
from the slap by your hand
and I love it.
red is smoldering.
as I lay by your side
and I love it.
the blanket of afterglow
while we finally are alone
and I love it.
Jan 2014 · 477
crusted
A Jan 2014
they took it all
they took it away from me
i can have anything
nothing to mend
nothing to numb
nothing to heal
i have dissolved into nothing
nothing but quakes and vibrations
these throbbing hands aren't mine
last shreds of seeing have been blind
growing cold
i am concealed
in this hell that seems surreal
Jan 2014 · 1.1k
dance
A Jan 2014
soft and warm you fall into me.
brushing my cold walls as they melt to form into you.
alone we dance
in this slow trance of senseless ecstasy and wonder.
skin is thin
finger tips sink in
as they fall in to the notches of your beautiful bone structure.
caressing you exterior
your life vibrates on to mine.
like silk threads straining through my fingers
sighing in your crisp aura
i feel whole
Jan 2014 · 934
opened
A Jan 2014
***** and Violated
I lay willingly.
Naked, on the floor
drenched in the sweat
of past anxieties.
Breathing for the first time
without choking on a chafing inhale
of exacerbating suppression of my own entity.
i lay peeled.

— The End —