Whenever you tell me a secret
You push my hair back
Nice and neat
I tease you about it
Cuz its strange
And its kind of our thing
When you dropped me off tonight
You told me you needed to tell me "a secret"
So you pushed back my hair
Leaned in close
The secret wasn't told
Instead it was asked
"Will you go out with me?"
I smiled a toothy grin
I motioned with a wave of my hand
To lean in close
I whispered to you
"Yes"
It was perfect
So uniquely us
And tonight was the night
My best friend
Became something so much more.

Kissing has always been strange for me
The awkward ones we weren't sure about
The one I did out of sympathy
The one he forced me to do
I've never quite wanted to
Or understood the appeal
Its been years since a boys lips were pressed against my own.
When you drove me home tonight
Something strange happened
I wanted to lock my fingers around your neck
Pull your face closer to mine
I wanted to kiss you
So badly.
Of course, I couldn't
Because I always tell you
"I'm not ready"
Since kissing you was never on my mind
But now
Its all I can think about.
And sweetie,
I think
I just might be in love with you
So next time you drive me home
Kiss me
I promise I'll kiss you back darling.

They say you should respect your parents
Heaven knows I tried
But you're so shallow it hurts
Tell me I'm prettier with makeup on
Don't remind me of things I already know
Telling me you don't like my boyfriend
Just because you see skin, not soul
You're terrible enough to say
He's not too cute, fat, and dumb
After meeting him once
With no attempt at conversation
Little do you know
Or care to know
I like him the way he is
How his eyes are turquoise like the sea
He makes me laugh
Tells me I'm beautiful
Like you never do
We have so much in common
And he makes me happy
I'm more comfortable around him
Then I will ever be with you
He knows so much about music
And cooking
And culture
Knows me better than you do
So keep your shallow thoughts to yourself
Let me be happy
Just this once

How do I keep good grades
When I can't find the willpower to pull myself out of bed to get to school
How do I keep a good relationship
When no one can convince me I'm worth anything
How do I keep my friends
When they all move away
How do I smile
When all I want to do is break down and cry
How can I love others
When I can't even love myself
How can I be responsible
When I can't remember to eat or do homework
How can I do anything
When I try to sleep
And darkness slips through my dreams
"You're a failure"
"You're worth nothing to anyone"
"What's the point in living anymore?"
How can I face the dark
When you say to "just get over it"
"Just get out of bed"
"Be a good student"
How can I be strong
There's so much weight on my shoulders
Like a freight train of things to do
But I am so weak
My bones are brittle
I have cuts and scars that will not heal
I can't believe in myself
And no one else will
So this train will crush my brittle bones
I'll be nothing and no one
But that's no different than what I am today
I'll be gone with the wind
Shattered and swept away
With no one to remember
The girl who tried her hardest
Which was never enough.

Her face wears anger, daring you
to look into her eyes and offer “hello”
the only things left to lift her to standing
are guilt and tears held in place daily
by repeated phone calls to her children

Neighbors are uncertain what to say
everything changed when her husband died
tinnitus of lonely continually ring
guilty for feeling angry that he left her
she always drinks alone now

I brought her some dinner on cafeteria china
unbreaded fish that she wanted for lent
She thinks people are laughing at her.
her eyes are brown and mostly terrified
crying out for someone to see her

Standing there, in her soft, white sweater
head drenched in tears and apologies
anger exchanged for compassion
I hugged her tightly for a good long time
so she would know that I meant it

i want you to imagine standing in the middle of an already collapsing house, and having everything suddenly flip upside down; or after years of homelessness, picture yourself being told you had somewhere you could stay for good, only to wake up just before being handed the keys. these are some of dangers of making places out of  people.

1. don't ever turn a human being into a home unless you are prepared to be evicted without warning.
2. when you start to notice their arms taking the shape of a roof over your head, you have two choices: run, or wait for it to cave.
3. if they ask you to stay and burn with them, you have the right to say no.
4. it is not your responsibility to save anyone, and it is not your fault when you can't.
5. salvaging the photos from a house fire will only re-break your heart every time you pull them out to look at them.
6. when the basement floods, hold their hand.
7. if you are not a strong swimmer, remember that the difference between love and codependence is that one of then will drown you.
8. love will never drown you.
9. i knew this from the start but let you hold me beneath the waves in spite of it, just so you could stay afloat. i can't do that anymore.
10. i don't think i'll ever set foot on your hardwood floors again, but i'll pray that someone new moves in soon.

- m.f.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my *******,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

come over
and we'll play scrabble
and drink cheap wine
until we're both too weary
to remember
that we're just friends.