Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Mar 2014 anonymous999
Nakedpetals
////March 20 2014 /////
Fainting spells
are more common
when I'm trying
to memorize how
****** got into power
Sighing is more
common
when I'm trying
to learn the
art of polynomials
crying is more
common when I have
two tests tomorrow
and I still need
to start that essay
that was given
yesterday
madness is when
I have to understand
that my sadness
is a genetic disposition
I could never control
Disappointment is more
common when I have
to yet again cancel
the plans I made
with my friends
But still
even
after a week of doing
this ****
the only thing
I learned
is that knowledge
isn't found in
a textbook
and a power point
presentation
just a whiny poem haha I'm really stressed
anonymous999 Mar 2014
but i love way that you laugh when i tell you i hate you and the sound of your voice when you tell me that i don't, i'm not going to fall for you but maybe i'll fall for the way that you say good morning no i am not in love with you but i might be in love with the face you make when you're concerned that maybe today was kind of a bad day for me oh i swear to god that i don't love you but i'd be lying if i said i didn't need you
i wake up every morning and i think of you i sit in class and wish you were there making me laugh i ride home wishing you were beside me and i fall asleep to the thought of your arms around me
you  are  the  light  of  my  life
but i do not love you
i could never love you right
anonymous999 Mar 2014
some days may be dark,
darling,
but be confident
that there will come a day
where you will not hate the fact that you woke up,
you will greet the day
sleepily,
but eager
and you will not feel the world caving in
when you're alone
in your bed
at 3am
you will be asleep
you will be asleep

one day
you will not be sad
and it will be worth it
i promise
so darling
hold on,
hold on.
it will get better
i promise
anonymous999 Mar 2014
i do not know yet if i believe in love but i believe in the sound of your laughter because it makes me happy when you're happy and i know that i love looking at you when you're tired and when you're happy and when you're not paying attention but i hate looking at you when you're sad because it feels like someone put icicles in my chest and your eyes may not have killed me when i left you but what did was the way that your arms hung limply when i hugged you goodbye. i believe in the way that i could not stop comparing his eyes to yours his hands to yours his hugs to yours and how it was not okay to me because maybe there is one single person on this big green earth that is meant for me and i do not yet know if i believe in that but i know that if soulmates exist, then out of all the people i have met in this life, mine is undeniably and without a doubt  you
anonymous999 Feb 2014
i hope you miss me
like i miss you
anonymous999 Feb 2014
when your perfect little daughter developed into something that wasn't quite up to your standards

you tried to fix her
you bought her healthy foods
and vitamins
and expensive skin treatments
and makeup
that she did not request
and you would wake her up from naps
and constantly tell her
to do all her homework
you
tried
to fix
every
little
flaw
but i wouldn't listen to you
so you tried to send me to therapy

BUT YOU WOULDNT TAKE ME WHEN I CONFESSED THAT I STRUGGLED WITH DEPRESSION
AND THAT I COULDNT HANDLE IT
AND THAT I WANTED SOME HELP
YOU WOULDNT TAKE ME
AND YEARS AGO
WHEN I STILL CARED
i requested the same things that would make my teeth whiter and my skin clearer
i requested them
but my life is not about my standards
you are trying to fix me

if you recall
when i was thirteen
i first confessed
my eating disorder
and throwing up after eating
and that my brother teasing me about my weight
wasnt helping
you did not try to fix me then
so *******
*******
don't dare try to fix me now
you may succeed in fixing my face and my hair and my teeth
and you may eventually convince me to listen to you
and get me
to lose some weight
stop sleeping so much
and staying up all night
you may fix all those things about me

but i learned how to be okay a long time ago
all by myself

so you will not fix me
just a bad angry poem
anonymous999 Feb 2014
when your daughter tells you that she has an eating disorder, believe her.
do not mock her, do not tell her she is wrong. though you could not hear her in the bathroom on her knees at christmas or on her birthday or after dinner, listen to her now.

know that after she reveals this and runs crying to her room that she will lie directly on her floor and place her ear to the carpet and she will hear you discussing her declaration like a bad movie, a critic to the fact that yes she still has all her teeth, but you do not know anything about disorders.

when your son mentions at the dinner table that your daughter thinks she may be depressed, do not shake your head. do not continue your meal, do not let her escape to her room immediately upon mention of the subject. do not shake your head, and do not continue your meal.

when you ask your daughter if she wants to see a psychiatrist and she does not say no, take her. make an appointment, do not cancel it. take her.

after an argument, when your daughter refuses to hug you, do not be offended. do not make a sarcastic remark about how she is "really helping the situation," that will not help the situation either. only know that she is hurt, and that she is only sixteen.

when you buy your daughter acne treatment and teeth whitener and brand new makeup and pore strips and she refuses to use them, do not yell. rather, attempt to fathom why your daughter may be boycotting your unrequested purchases, and try to find three things about her more important to you than her appearance.

when your daughter tells you that last night she sat in her closet for an hour so that she could be safe from you due to the way her her heart races and her palms sweat every time she hears the sound of your footsteps outside of her room, please reevaluate the way you talk to your daughter.

when your daughter tells you that she is sick and that she cannot go to school for the fifteenth separate time this semester, ask her about in what ways she is feeling ill, because one does not contract the flu fifteen separate days over the course of five months. that is not how the flu works. it is not likely that she has been physically ill to the point where she will lay in bed until past the time she was supposed to be getting home from school. do not accept the fact that she has a "headache" and do not let her tell you that she is just fine, because she is not.

when your daughter stays up all night doing homework but does not complete her work, do not nag at her. do not tell her that you and her father are "just waiting for her to have a mental breakdown" or to “stay out of your face when she loses her mind” like you know she will, do not tell her for the twentieth time to get her life together. it will not help her get her life together.

when your daughter tells you that she thinks she may be depressed, listen to her. do not fail to notice the words "years" or "finally".
do not simply forget about it, do not wake the next morning and assume that just because she is at the breakfast table eating her cereal that all is well. do not assume that last night she did not make a detailed plan to **** herself and that the only thing that stopped her was a line of a song, and a boyfriend.

when you notice that your daughter has stopped going out with friends, stopped going to practice and stopped trying in school, do not yell. do not lecture. try to predict what she may stop doing next. but do not yell.

do not say things like that she is “upsetting  your  household” statements like that make it very clear in the head of your daughter that the household she lives in is not also hers, and that you do not want her around. do not make careless statements in front of your teenage daughter.

though you may not know that the most common word in all of her google searches is “depression,” it should not take that for you to realize that she has a problem. though you did not see her ask the internet how many of her vitamins she would have to take until she could be sure she would not wake up, it should never have gotten this far.

do not tell her that you are sorry. it will be too late.
Next page