I'm at the bottom of the ocean standing hopeless
showing signs
That if I had a bottle of your decisions I'd drink them up
and forget mine
I would let you break my bearing
Drag me down until I sink
You would  flood all of my airways
while you pushed me past the brink

And i'd allow it.

It's such a beautiful despair
The way you replace all my air
You soak up every living piece of me
and I concede without a care

Chained and locked away
there's no time left for desperate measure
I'm standing at the bottom of the ocean
Like your forgotten buried treasure.

I sit here miles away from my heart.
Typing and deleting, typing and deleting, these pointless words into this phone.
And for the first time in a long time I'm experiencing something new. A weight, this tiny little phone feels like a cinder block and as crazy as this sounds I think what I'm feeling is all this pain I'm causing you. At the edge of my fingertips, and this phone is you, it's the pain, it's my regret, it's the only thing I have to bring myself to you.

Too often do we fall in love off the rim of a bottle
Masking & Diluting the putrid tastes with something sweeter
Drinking each other in, more and more
Letting it consume us till finally
A sickness overwhelms
The memories turn to black and you get sick of the taste

I can’t pop bottles in the club or make it rain on these hoes
I can’t fix the pain you’ve experienced
I can’t promise that what I give you is enough
But;
I can give you my time
I can give you my daydreams and my goodnights
I can give you my hands; you can have them to hold you, to write melodies of your indulgence at my fingertips
I can give you my lips, to trace the creases on your body, to speak love songs about your intellect
They will always remind you of your beauty and your importance
I can give you my company, to fill the space between the heartaches, and the congratulations
You will always know that you are my definition of beauty. you are always worth it. You are endlessly loved


I can’t give you the world.
But;
I can give you my world.

Oh. I wanted to taste you
But I've got a bad habit of keeping you in the back of my throat
And I haven't figured out how to keep you from slipping into my chest

I wanted to leave bite marks on your neck and hand prints on your ******* soul

Oh. I shouldn't have ****** you.
Because I knew you could become the Sun
So beautiful and full
Too tempting not too touch and impossible to hold onto
I know the rays sunshine in your eyes that convince me the poison in your words tastes like sweet honey
Could be all I ever wanted.

I'm starting to wonder whether love is an emotion or a train of thought
Whether we love to make the day brighter or we love because it's the only thing left to not go out of style
Because My eyes reach for the prettiest girl in the room and my hands find a way to tear every part of the sentiment out of my body when they get a taste of you and I don't think that has anything to do with my emotions but my hellish thoughts might.
Or maybe, it's a bit of both. Because you can love someone with all your being but still break a heart. And you can dim the light inside your emotions so it is too hard for anyone else to see but still cry when nobody wants to take a closer look. Your heart could be in all the right places but if your mind puts the rest of you on top of the wrong place...
Does your heart have any say in the matter?

I'm not in love, No I don't wish about you all day; but I'm not going to tell her, or her, or her that. They have to believe that I'm there's; and no one else's. So when one of them asks me to write them something, I have to make it sound like I'm in love right? Because that's what they want, they don't want me they want someone to be in love with them. They want the same thing everybody wants, they want the hype. So I give'em what they want.
And No, I don't blame them for wanting it, how could I? They think they love me because I'm so sweet and I listen, because they've been so hurt, they're damaged and they BELIEVE that they want to love me. I'd never hurt any of them. So I'll just lie to them, and let them try to love me until they leave me.

I can't get you out of my thoughts
even without you in my presence I still find myself at a loss for words
       because loving you is indescribable
You make me believe that magic is real, that there are things in this world more beautiful than the first light of sunrise //when I think of you...
I think of your soft hazel eyes and the fact that Moments with you are worth more than gold
And I know it doesn't make sense but you make me nervous. You make the hair on the back of my neck stand up you send my heart into a singing frenzy that my mouth can't make the words for
You inspire my soul to come up with thoughts that my mind can't comprehend and..
I don't think you see why

Now, I want you to take a step back, leave your stress behind, vanquish the dim light you always find yourself under and see yourself -through my eyes
See the infectious beauty that bursts from your smile and feel the love that shutters through my body when your near.
I want to introduce you to what I see every time the taste of your name enters my mind
I want you/ to meet you.

I wait for you, tell you to put the weight of your pain on my shoulders
-as if I'm not drowning already-
I look at my self in disgust, after discussing and blindly leading you to believe I'm in love with myself
-because what guys isn't right?-
I sit and reflect on all this ******* I drug myself through to keep the heels of your heels clean, romanticizing this reflex I have to catch you everytime you fall

I reign in the pieces of your broken heart every time you're too weak to pick them up, and that would be okay if you weren't so content raining on me everytime you felt cold

I lust for your lips

The way they align with mine
How they compliment your smile so sensually

I lust for your hips

The way they submit to my longing hands as I caress and renew my lust for you
How they ****** towards me as you lay on the bed beneath me, sending me into an animalistic  passion

But your eyes...those I dream of// they sparkle brighter than diamonds
They ****** me, draw me in like nothing ever has before.

I dream of your mind

Your beautiful thoughts, and dreams
It is boundless, you are boundless

I love your heart, your soul
These..more than anything are what I desire. So much pain, so raw yet so guarded. I would fight for years to tear them down if only to indulge in minutes of you.

All of this that I love// wrapped in Your beautiful body, now bronzed and focused. But this lust would mean nothing. Without the love that drives it.

Baby drink me in fast, for I am not an acquired love. You'll want me when you need it and hate me once you've had it. You just want me to fulfill your ego. You've had your mouthful //spit me out

"Baby you're the only one"
I'll be here forever
I promise that I'm not enough
But You'll try to make me better

I'm to blame//you'll take it all

As long as the day is, I manage to fill it with thoughts of you
As lonely as the nights are, I get through them knowing I'll kiss you again
As upsetting as things can be, I remember your lips, your hands, your waist, your eyes and I lose sight of everything else

And as hard as it gets, I will always be your escape.

I can't sleep at night because my bed won't stop thinking about you
the pillows hold onto the smell of your perfume and throw it in my face
your curves remain engraved in the mattress.
I'm constantly reminding my bed that it's time to forget you
Yet I still haven't wiped your lips off of mine.

You always make me forget that taste of regret
That falls on my tongue as soon as we're done
You leave my embrace and I remember the taste
Of regret

You're a fantasy, in every grasp of thought.
Your beauty is beyond, from those perfect lips, to each and every scar

Your body entices and takes captive, every inch of bronzed skin, each ****** curve and bend seize's my mind and holds it captive. Fills it with The lustful imaginings of rough ***, my hands all over you, the sensuality and physicality
But You are so much more than Just THIS
You are comforting and warm, the pleasure of connection and friendship
So beautiful. So misjudged and misunderstood. So much more than just whats seen.

"I want you" is a lie I tell myself
What I'm really saying is I need you
Because your smile
Your kiss
Your intoxicating presence is the sun that brightens my day
Every night with you is like feeling a new drug
"I'm thinking of you"         I'm always thinking of you. I'm so happy with you.
If you only knew half of what you meant to me you'd be in love ❤️

"Come see me tonight :)"
* I fell in love too quickly*
It hid the emptyness in your words, filled it with the mirage of a love returned

"You are stuck with me forever" you said it as if you knew there's nothing I wanted more. You said a lot of things.

And I can't decide, I can't decide whether I would be happier if I never met you or not
I'm lost somewhere between love and regret and I just can't find my way out
I don't want to let you fall in love with someone else, but I can't keep going on like this

I want to be your fulfillment. I don't want to be the one who just puts the pieces back together for you
Because I love you too much to leave...and I know you're not staying for long

It shouldn't hurt this much; losing someone who wasn't yours to begin with
I feel sick to my stomach, you're falling into someone else's arms while mine reach out for you more than ever before
It shouldn't hurt this much; to feel used and unappreciated
But it does; because I though I(t) meant something, because she still means *everything

I ******* love when our eyes meet, and you give that cute little stare. Wow*
I hate the screech your sliding door makes every time I come in
I like how comfortable I feel with you
I love that there's no *******. When we're together, it's just us and nothing else matters
I love kissing you, *******, making you laugh and smile
I like that it's a secret, you're like a perfect escape

"I don't think I'm the girl for you" she said so casually, i'd never felt that before.
I cried. I didn't want you to know I was so hurt, and I didn't want to feel weak, so I played it down
You ripped yourself away from me so swift and viscously My body shivered with a soft sensual pain, like a cold ache
You found my weaknesses so quickly, I was starting to lose myself in you, you took control of my imagination, and I loved it. Thoughts of you were like the sweet taste of strawberries
I couldn't stop smiling, I fell for you. And you vanished

I felt useless
You sat at the edge of the sidewalk with tears streaming down your face from my actions
My head was flying, trying to find the right words to make it better while I sat there in front of you on the road, wishing I could take back the pain my lips and my hands had caused
I had kissed you with the same lips, let my hands focus on each crease in your skin, the same way they did with her.
you said it was over I cried trying more to justify it to myself then to you
How could I have done this, how could I make you feel the way she made me feel.

Your eyes say more about the love you feel then my words could ever express
I start to feel you relax, as you run your fingers through my pain and stress *as mine slide up your dress

I want to feel loved, the way I think everyone else feels it.
I want to lose myself inside someone else, I want to hold them in my arms and feel more than just the lust of her body thrusted against mine
I want to smile uncontrollably, feel that lump in my throat like my stomach is trying to fly away
I want to need someone for more than just *** and companionship.
I want to be so afraid of loving them, that I fall in love

Have you ever felt like your drowning?
Like every time you're about to break the surface it's like all of a sudden you sink even further then you were before?

                        I've been drowning my entire life; yet I haven't dived in

We feel incomplete;   It's in our nature.
We seek for knowledge, strength, beauty, the warmth of another's irritated soul
Forever stuck on a bitter voyage to fill the void inside of us

We wish for something, someone to satisfy our need for fulfillment But
We need it, we need the sorrow; the longing. We need it so we can grow

You are a new spark, a new inspiration
You fuel my imagination with a new indulgence
The idea of a new fantasy to unravel as it transforms into a blissful reality filled with rough *** and loss of breath entices my thoughts
This isn't love. It's perfect

I want you. I want to connect with you, I want to feel that feeling that is so indescribable.
Because all I feel now is used, and broken
I want to feel your everlasting warmth inside my arms; and know that in that moment, you're mine.

I want you to feel my embrace, to feel the lust at the edge of my lips- the love at the beginning of my grasp
I want you to feel special, I want you to wake up every morning conscious of my irrevocable affection, and to understand the incomparable beauty you are, every idea and curve that you have, is beautiful.
I want you to feel accepted and appreciated, to know that just by your existence; you can bring me comfort.
I just want you, to know. That you have a reason to smile.

I read your blissful words
The words that sere into my brain of your once broken heart being fixed by another
I cry; My heart unfolds at the reality of the shattering secret you share with the world. You are beginning to love again
That idea cuts through me like a knife, slipping between my rib cage. I want you to be happy, I want you to be in love.!

I could never wish for the pain to go away
Because the pain is where the beauty is built

I don't ask for much. just for the endless endearment of your perseption of me
I don't need much, just to know that you think of me forever and always, just that I Never leave your mind
I don't expect anything from you, it's simple, all I want is your unattainable perfection
to have you forever and always. But that's regular...right?

I want to love you more than madly I want to make love to your existence and your intellect, get lost in inescapable imagination, in that prison of thought
Feel the current of emotion pulling you into my arms. but first; how about dinner?

I wish for you
I wish for the memories to continue on
I wish that I didn't have to miss you everyday, every hour, every time my heart beats..
I wish that I never met you
I wish I never got to know the man you were, the strong wonderfully imperfect man you were.
I wish that time would've stopped, and I could hold onto each smile you gave me.
I wish I didn't have to think about you all the time, think about you, and remember everything about you.
I wish I never met you, I wish I never needed you, I wish you were never there to hold me, I wish you were here...I wish I could've saved you...and I wish you could save me.

you lather your feelings across the paper
Hoping to let the heartbreak seep out
you share your broken pieces with the strangers that are willing to indulge in the lonely aspects of your creative memories
you ache..so you write
you are the reason I write
you long for your head to stop reminding you of all the ******* lovely pain he put your heart through
You are a perfect picture with no reflection, you are cursed with by your own beauty because you'll never be able to witness it
      *I wish you could see all the beauty I love