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Mar 2014 · 202
Throw a dog a bone
1487 Mar 2014
Please,
throw me anything,
any piece,
of you.
Mar 2014 · 787
I lied
1487 Mar 2014
When I said that you seemed free,
I lied ---

Because no one is free
when they're trapped
in their mind.
Mar 2014 · 259
And me
1487 Mar 2014
You left your memories behind again:
Change on the table
And my pillows, your scent
1487 Mar 2014
All I have to show
for last night
is a bruised ******
and a hurt heart
few hickeys too. thanks...
Mar 2014 · 251
10w
1487 Mar 2014
10w
3 AM
will never
feel the same
without your lips
it just won't
Mar 2014 · 265
I give up
1487 Mar 2014
I paced around the kitchen
Spitting out words
I wanted to write down

These are not it.
Mar 2014 · 250
But you did
1487 Mar 2014
I can't believe
the amount of times
I wished that
you'd come back

Now that you did -

I can't believe
the amount of times
I wished
you didn't
Mar 2014 · 1.6k
Heartless
1487 Mar 2014
You can't fight
for a place
in his heart
if
he
doesn't
have
one
Mar 2014 · 202
Why
1487 Mar 2014
Why
did
I
have
to
love
you
so
*******
much?
Mar 2014 · 209
Fill me
1487 Mar 2014
There is a space in my chest
where beautiful words
used to be
I feel empty
Mar 2014 · 261
Of my heart
1487 Mar 2014
I want you to know that I'm not trying to be cold;
I'm trying to be a mystery.
I was not taught how to expose enough of me -
and still keep pieces for myself.
I give it all, I always give it all.
So forgive me
But I'm making sure there's something left
for me to hang on to when you're not around.

Because this time when my insides tick,
I want to hear the sound.
Mar 2014 · 240
You let me
1487 Mar 2014
In saving you,
I killed
myself.
Mar 2014 · 1.2k
Lost without you
1487 Mar 2014
I have
to lose myself,
just so,
I don't find you.
Mar 2014 · 222
Letting go, again.
1487 Mar 2014
They say to let go when it hurts the most
When it's hardest to do
I don't know who "they" are
But, my love, they never knew you.
Feb 2014 · 225
Take your pick
1487 Feb 2014
I
thought
maybe you
missed me

But
you just
wanted to be
my friend

I
don't know
which hurts worse:

The
fact that you
don't;
or you
do?
my ex friend requested me tonight
Feb 2014 · 689
Guaranteed
1487 Feb 2014
You can
try to love me
but
results
not typical
Feb 2014 · 274
Excuse you
1487 Feb 2014
Stop
making excuses
for men
who don't
respect you

because you don't
respect yourself
1487 Feb 2014
I'm so tired of being sick;
So many people want to die
When all I wish
is to live.
Feb 2014 · 529
Leo in Virginia
1487 Feb 2014
I still read your horoscope
next to mine
and I just spent five minutes
finding your town
on a map

4 hours away
doesn't fill the gap
you left inside

Please take me back
to
months and months
and months ago

Before I loved you
Before I'd known

I can still remember;
I wish you would've never took me home.
Feb 2014 · 396
Zoloft
1487 Feb 2014
I did not want to go back there,
But I can't stay here.
my anxiety returned
Feb 2014 · 270
I'm my own Valentine
1487 Feb 2014
This is the first time
in 10 years
I haven't had a Valentine

I asked myself
to be mine

And, for once, it's okay
I'm doing just fine.
Happy Valentine's Day
Feb 2014 · 1.4k
23 lies my ex told me
1487 Feb 2014
1.  I will never be the reason for you crying.

2.   You couldn't push me away if you wanted to. I'm always here.

3.  You make me the happiest man in the world. You have completely stolen my heart and glued it back together. You are more than I deserve. I love you with all that I have.

4.  Will you be mine forever?

5.  You going to be my wife one day?

6.  I can see nothing in this world to make me change my mind.

7.  I need your love. I need your smile. I need your touch, your laugh, your eyes. I'm the happiest man in the world to call you mine.

8.  No one can love anything as much as I love you.

9.  Don't give up on me.

10.  I need you.

11.  I love you

12.  I love you

13.  I'm confused. I don't know what to do.

14.  I need time.

15.  My head isn't right. I need to work on myself first.

16.  Why are you throwing my stuff away? I'm coming back.

17.  I can't ask you to wait for me. I don't want you to move on.

18.  I don't think I'll ever give up on you.

19.  I miss you

20.  No, I'm not seeing anyone else.

21.  No, I didn't sleep with her.

22.  No, I don't love her anymore.

23.  *I love you
excerpts from texts he once sent
1487 Feb 2014
I don't understand at all
My father told me to keep my books on Law so that he can read them
He's not a word smart man but he gives what he can and that's enough for me
Working his hands since fourteen
till arthritis sinks in and the sunken skin between his fingers shows muscles that you never thought were able to see

My cat walks under my feet and I trip on the carpet in front of the sink trying to rinse my hands in the late night glow
Stumbling back in the dark, reaching out for a touch, trying not to fall
But there's no one here to catch me
I don't understand at all

I'm lying in bed and I should be reading but these words wouldn't leave my head no matter how hard I fought
I quit counting the days that you've been gone and I've lost track of the weeks which means by now you've forgotten me because I was the last something, I was the last string that held together anything
I have cavities growing in my teeth from sweet tastes you left inside of me waiting for you to call

you stripped me ******* raw

And I will never
I can never
I will never understand at all
Feb 2014 · 294
I guess you really do
1487 Feb 2014
I guess
you really do
gotta kiss
a lot
of frogs
before you find
your prince
Feb 2014 · 3.0k
LDR
1487 Feb 2014
LDR
You could fly right over me
and wouldn’t blink an eye.

You could fly right over me -
but for you, I’d jump and die.
I wrote this a few years ago when I was in a long distance relationship with a not so good person; and I remember looking at the sky watching the planes fly overhead, wishing he was on one.
1487 Feb 2014
Today I felt that old familiar burn in my chest.
the kind that reminds you his memory still hasn't left
and my hands shook so bad I had to walk away.
restless anxiety surging through my veins.

I waited so long out of fear, to ask questions with answers I wasn't ready to hear.
don't kid yourself, kid cause everyone knows
there are moments you think of him when you're still alone

Like his lips on the couch coming toward your face
then you run to the kitchen to back n forth pace
because for a second you almost remembered his taste.

that's a thought you're not allowed to embrace.

Cause you heard he isn't doing too well,
the boy who stole your wishes with every penny that fell,
vulnerable his life but no longer you're not.

don't think about him.
don't think.
stop.
Jan 2014 · 274
I never knew how to choose
1487 Jan 2014
Saint Augustine,
I do not want to read about you
and your Free Choice of Will
Because I do not choose
To think of him inbetween
your words

And I do not choose
To remember him
When my eyes drift between
your lines

'Cause when it came to him
I always had a choice,
Just not the will,
And sometimes still;

I don't know how to choose.
1487 Jan 2014
I opened my car and saw Lana Del Rey
staring back at me from the pocket in my door
and Miranda Lambert was above her
laying next to The Cure
and it made me wish I was somewhere else
and a guy would come up to me and say,
"man, I really love your taste in music"
maybe tomorrow
but hot ****, that'll be the day
Jan 2014 · 283
11:05 pm
1487 Jan 2014
When
my phone
vibrates,

I
still
hope
it's
you.
Jan 2014 · 219
My own hands
1487 Jan 2014
i can't tell you
the amount of times
i fell in love
with the potential of a man

dying by love, with my owns hands.
Jan 2014 · 270
The silence
1487 Jan 2014
I do not have words
for the way I feel
when I walk onto my porch at 1 am
and I know you aren't there,
and that you'll never be
again.

So I stand with my face to the wind,
staring out into the woods,
searching for an answer.

I always find it,
in the silence.
I miss you
Jan 2014 · 347
Why I don't say your name
1487 Jan 2014
There are sparks on my tongue
where your name used to be
and every time I speak

i can see
i can see

*i can see
Jan 2014 · 343
Not the only one
1487 Jan 2014
There are many days
I get on here
to read others' words
just to know
that I'm alive.

To know I'm not
the only one
left
who's dying.
1487 Jan 2014
I look in the mirror and I don't see the same thing that the gas station cameras show that hang above as you walk in. I read before that we view ourselves 5 times more beautiful and I don't want to understand the difference.

I stood at the park watching the ponds sway. the ducks try to reach water through the ice and I thought for a moment about throwing myself in and if it was slush or if I'd never find my way out again. would my body just be a blue blob not because of cold but because of my sweatshirt I was wearing and if the boy sitting on the guard rail would run to save me but then i remembered boys always let me drown.

I sat in my driveway listening to the silence ringing in my ears with the fuzz in my head. Been hurting for days, I wish mites would crawl in and eat it away maybe there's a tumor there they could fix but the CT scan 5 years ago showed no complaint even though I complained about it.

No where else to go i sat in a deep stare and not that I want to die but it felt good to think about how it would feel not to feel at all cause even when you're numb something remains its like peeling off 3 layers exposing skin that lives underneath and that can be a very dangerous thing.

but my friend told me to keep crawling till I walk so I promised I would try. even with this overwhelming urge that I'm wasting my life.


It's gonna be another lonely night.
I have vertigo and it ruins me.
Jan 2014 · 1.5k
November 29th
1487 Jan 2014
6:20
I can't forget the look of your eyes meeting mine when you walked through the door.

Like I was everything you thought you wanted at a time before.

6:20
I didn't stand from my chair to hug you because my knees were too soft and I feared I might fall to your feet.

6:33
You stood behind me at the jukebox and I could feel the heat of your body on the back of my neck, traveling down my spine.

It was that old familiar warmth I remember laying next to at night.

7:10
I sang along to a song you told me you played.
Not realizing till a month later the hidden meaning behind the words.

"I'll remember you" it rang,
as I sang,
and sang,
and sang.

7:28
Your  eyes didn't search for me like they did before when I would leave your side.

I tried to hide in the dark and watch you in the light but you never noticed I was gone.

7:37
Your hands lay on the steering wheel of my car, with ***** in your blood speeding away with my heart. Entrusting my life to a boy who didn't care if I lived or died.  

He'd already killed me many times.

8:16
You placed your arm around your buddy's girl and joked how you were trying to make him mad.
But instead I sat there comparing my body to the thin girl in the hat.

8:58
You decided it was time to leave so we walked back to my car.

I wish it were cold so I could say it pierced my heart but that was your breath on my lips at the stop sign.

9:30
We drove old dirt roads until we found a spot bare enough to take our clothes off and I remember the placement of my hands on the seat as you sank your teeth deep into me.

Chewed me up.
Spit me out.

You didn't like my taste in your mouth.

10:15
You were tired so you drove back to where we left your car in the parking lot.

You said I acted weird on the drive home.

But you knew.

It was known.
It was known.
It was known.

10:36
I laid in my bed, fully clothed with the fabric remembering your hug that held tightly and lingered just long enough; with words of "I love you" as you kissed my forehead.

Like you never left.


I wish I would have left.
If I could go back to this night and walk out that door when you walked in, I would.
Jan 2014 · 617
Blessing or a curse?
1487 Jan 2014
He asked me if I missed the feeling
of being in love.

I told him that I can remember what it's like but I can't remember how it feels.

And I'm not sure if that's a blessing
or a curse.
Jan 2014 · 216
Yours
1487 Jan 2014
I cannot touch
my own skin
without remembering
how yours felt
on it
Dec 2013 · 1.2k
Happy New Year, my love.
1487 Dec 2013
Happy New Year, my love.
I hope you have no one to kiss.
And I hope when that clock
strikes 12,
that I become
something you miss.
Dec 2013 · 377
Leftovers
1487 Dec 2013
Now that you're gone
I can't figure out
If the leftover words in my mouth
are sweet
or
completely tasteless
1487 Dec 2013
They say if a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.
But how is that fair?

I don't want to keep you alive.
Dec 2013 · 444
Weren't enough
1487 Dec 2013
I touched you with love..

but you touched me
like I weren't enough.
Dec 2013 · 259
Just because
1487 Dec 2013
"Just because he did that, don't think he doesn't love you"*

those were the right words
at the wrong time
because we both know
that's a lie
Dec 2013 · 613
You haunt me in ways
1487 Dec 2013
You haunt me in ways
like the mason jar on top the fridge
your aunt gave
that held the moonshine
I drank in haste
that night you upset me.

Oh, the burn in my stomach
such sweet taste
you should've lit me on fire
'cause we still went up in flames.
Dec 2013 · 218
Think again
1487 Dec 2013
You once told me
that you thought you knew
what love was,
that you thought you loved her,
until you met me.

you must've thought again.
Dec 2013 · 472
I can't help it
1487 Dec 2013
I don't want to go
to this Christmas party tonight
because last year you were with me
and you sang karaoke
into my dads mic
and you caught me when I slipped on ice
and landed under that car
and we laughed about it for days
and this time I will be alone
watching every other couple enjoy each others company
wondering what we'd be doing if you were here.
Or what you're doing at this time of night
and how my memory hasn't even crossed your mind
and why I continue to waste my time
but I can't help it.
Dec 2013 · 545
Don't tell me
1487 Dec 2013
But my lonely seeps deep into my bones,
twisting and turning them as my body aches.
Don't ever tell me lonely is only emotional pain
because there have been times my intestines lit fire
and my knees gave way,
introducing my hands to any floor they meet.
Don't tell me you never laid in bed
your body heavy as an anchor
hoping your ship will set sail if you can just make a wave.
And don't tell me you never stood in the cold night wind
the middle of winter
as it blew comfortably right through you
because the bitter doesn't compare to what lies within.

*Don't tell me.
Dec 2013 · 281
Think I figured it out
1487 Dec 2013
I tugged at my veins
asking questions
with no answers
did I let you do this
or did I do this to myself?
but isn't that the same?
I think I figured it out
Dec 2013 · 402
Permanent scar
1487 Dec 2013
my heart is healing
like the burn
your cigarette left on my arm
blistered under ashes
now a scab
slowly fading
to a permanent scar
Dec 2013 · 12.7k
Not good enough to forget
1487 Dec 2013
I'm crazy today.
I'm crazy in a way that nobody compares to him
and I'm wasting my time on these men
because even though he was bad
he was still good
in ways that I loved;
not with how he treated me,
just in who he was.
and it's dumb because these new men are good
but not good enough
to help me forget.
Dec 2013 · 329
But I really hope you do
1487 Dec 2013
I found your Smith and Wesson box hiding behind the spare room door
And I'm not quite sure how I never noticed it
Or maybe I didn't want to

It's sitting on the burn pile now
3 inches of snow beneath

I hope you didn't want it
But I really hope you do
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