the female form haunts me, always
running for the hills, toward new ****** conquests and away from the love that i only wished i had
i breathe and sigh until i find the one that i could breed with, although i won’t ever breed
until then, i’ll swim through *****
i will fall in love for nights at a time, cuddling, *******, pillow-talking, waking and leaving
i’ll then roam the streets, wandering into bars, flirting, glaring at women, the way i glare at a fine meal
i’ll eat them and be done with them in one sitting, i’ll enjoy it, i’ll love the way they taste, but once the meal is done, there is no ‘re-eating’
and, then i’ll think about why i’m doing this all, aside from the fact that i crave it, but the underlying reason,
the fact that i strive for the pale, white spotlight to shine down on me and point me out to the woman of my dreams
and she’ll find me, easily, and we’ll strip down and running as fast as we can, we’ll forever hold hands, until the end of days.

a beaten man bleeds, but lives boldly
trees, leaves and ****** skin diseases      :    before we bleed, we scream
i’ve screamed; we bleed; i’ve done it all and we’re here together
in sickness, i have seen the wall of sound that frightens me
in health, i’ve heard the yelps of a beautiful young dog with coins for eyes and golden silk for a coat
in insanity, i’ve found myself, twisted, i know, but i am lying there; content
in life, i am everything all of the time
in death, i’ve seen the truth
in venice, my gondola has spilled over into a stream of consciousness which i have not known of
in paris, i’ve slept at the bottom of the seine
in corfu, i’ve basked in warmth and love
in moscow, i’ve seen a man’s heart and a woman’s soul be married
in the church, i have loved, bled and screamed
my hunger has not been satiated;  bolder now, i’ve been louder
in a quiet field; i’ll lie with you; i’ll bleed you dry; i’ll replenish you; i’ll love you; i’ll write our life stories on the surrounding woods
i’m beginning again; i’m burning fuel to start the end of my consumptive nature

i digress, i digress, i aggresively digress

with wide eyes and a gaping hole where my brain should be, i live in dreams
i gaze into beauty, i sway and swagger in a love-drunk stupor
i love and i love hard

with sharp eyes and a gaping hole where my heart should be, i grow and live
i enjoy all things, i stand tall in a wondrous world of opportunity
i explore and i move forward

i am my wide, sharp eyes
i am my lost brain
i am my lost heart
i am everything, all of the time

forever, i am my love for you
forever, i am growing
forever, i am changing
forever, i am full

spiritual anarchy is a man without borders
he will be or not be, whichever he decides
it’s about decisions and he makes them all
he decides his position in the universe
he bleeds his blood, when he’ll allow it
he speaks or holds silent in an alleyway
or a field full of promise and wild ambition

he knows everything and he knows that he knows nothing at all
the dichotomy between the decision and anti-decision is anarchy
it is a word and he lives by it

****, sad, somber
exciting and cold
i’ve yet to find white hot

she loves me and i, her
it’s not that easy
goodbye
also, not that easy

writhing, wilting, whimsy
educated and insincere
i’d die tomorrow if i could have her tonight

i’ll tell these stories someday
i’ll be happy/lucky/free
good life
for god’s sake, i am

hit the road
i’ve been bold
talking in my sleep
i grit my teeth

walking the streets at night
i’ve decided that everything is emptiness
everything as i know it, is emptiness
how refreshing life is
how incredibly refreshing my mind is

my mind is emptiness
my heart is emptiness
my lust is emptiness
my love is emptiness
my thoughts, my theories, my ambitions, my abortions, my cheating, lying habits, my dreams, my girlfriends, my world, my room, my hate, my anger, my joy, my pain are all emptiness

nothing happens
nothing is a word and words don’t exist
the way that i am tied to words is emptiness
the alcoholism is emptiness
the drugs are emptiness
the friends are emptiness
my family is emptiness
i am emptiness

there is no support, no conflict, no harbored poor emotions, no bold ideas, no sympathy, no death, no life and no person.

thank god, allah, buddha, shiva, abraham, dalai lama, bob dobbs, the cosmos, myself and all those other wonderful concepts that don’t exist because they are mere words.

tumbling around, just outside of society’s idea of normalcy, he walks for miles on end.
with a golden notion, he dreams of love, life and truth.
he lives these dreams and always has.
he creates love around him, by devoting himself to truth in life.

woken by a stampede of angry cattle, he laughs.
his vow to never injustice these animals is so very solid and they don’t even know it.
with a washboard on his back, he’ll scream for wonder as he wanders, and it will ring out with purity and beauty.
i will hear it and so will the people that truly love him.

adventure is on his soles and he will track it all across the nation.
a bold child of the rebirth.
he is simple, he is free.
he is ***** gold.

summer wind, aging daisies, whilst you spin tulips in a field.
always been raging gracefully, whilst i gaze upon your form.
treacherous as these waters may seem to some,
this is my life blood.  i am submersed in eros.

dizzy spin, writhing bodies, whilst you cringe in elation.
talk is thin, striving deeply for a demolition of the end.
as endless as this may seem, i know it is finite.
this is truth.  i will submerse myself in you.

a bodhisattva can fly

a thinker can sink

a buddha can be happiness

an existentialist can try to disprove it

on a walk, a stroll on a path littered with questions, a man asks himself ‘why?’
on that walk, a woman answers ‘there is no ‘why?”

while swimming, she drowns and asks ‘what is death?’
during that swim, a fish answers ‘there is no ‘death?”

while sleeping, the fish asks ‘who am i?’
in that dream, i answer ‘there is no ‘i”

while living, i ask ‘what is it to be happy?’
during that life, the sky answers ‘there is no ‘happiness”
i said ‘thank you. thank you, sky. you are too kind’

i will breathe you up and know that there is nothing. i will be content. nothing.

glassy eyes
warmth
sun, no, hearts
heat bodies
bodies in heat
sweeping calm
joy

with whipping hair, the final turn to proclaim her discontent was ever bittersweet
hearing that vicious tongue slash around between those sultry lips,
watching that vile grin as it exploded within me simultaneously
gazing into those gorgeous eyes as they looked right through me
to see those strands of chestnut gold wave and sway, one final time
a heartbeat
an exit

a truth
a promise
‘i love you’
‘i will always love you’
a nod
a smirk
an exit

wicked thorns on wicked wings
they fly and pierce the sky
the gashes open wide
the liquid life
pours
out

blessed words from blessed tongues
they soar and mend the wounds
the holes close up
the simple strife
floats
away

when we leak the color red
we feel alive although we’re quick to die
when the truth is spilled right
we know our pride and we’re ready to die

last meals, first truths
last loves in kissing booths
the world you need to get to is inside
godspeed and goodnight

sitting patiently in a forest of heart and desire,
a rhythm swirls in my eyes
fluxing

with pop, we will rule the world
smiles will flood the streets
swimmingly

swollen cheeks and battered lips
kissing through calm days
c’était la vie et ce sera toujours

i’ll always kiss into the evening with a wide, wily grin
forever burning through hours of dull, stale surroundings
i will live forever in the motions in the night
i will live blissfully

i am at the top of beggar’s peak
i have lived alone
i brew tea and sit serenely staring at the top of the world
the sky holds me in and i am thankful

i am wading in mudslap creek
i have swum alone
i splish, splash and stomp in the gold forest with all my livelihood
the earth holds me up and i am thankful

i am strolling in baldie woods
i have seen a home
i cut, craft and toil all the day long in perfect serenity
the world embraces me and i am thankful

i am dead in this gracious world
i have lived content
i breathed, climbed and sang all my life without wrong and all things were gold
the gods love on me and i am thankful

my mouth spits desire
your skin’s a light and i flutter nearer and nearer
moth of sorts, i shift shapes
now a wave of love
i’ll wash you away with me

in delicacy
dances form with our tongues, our bodies sway
ever so serene, i’ll live with you, in dreams
until there is no need
i’ll wash you away from me

the grass is orange, the sun is green
and what of the beach?
tell me, tim, what do you mean?

have the grains of sand turned their hue?
have they only shown to you?

on a walk from reality, could you show me the sea?
i’d need it to be what i’d remembered it to be.
i need my anchor, i need it severely.

hot ****!
sleeping under the stars, a bottle of wine, a puff of smoke and love blooming.
hello wilderness.  how are you?  i’m doing well, i say.

cool tongues speaking soft words of enlightenment and adoration.
a kiss here and a touch there, i dance with excitement.
new lives engulfed in new flames.

with time flying by, i know the simple things will keep me sane.
the beautiful things will allow me to keep my name.
baked goods with frozen dairy, is there anything better.

music is all around.
places in time and space are calling my name.
i respond, ‘i am far too busy to be with you now, but i will adore the thought of you and i will see you soon.’

smoke,
drink,
dance,
discuss,
love,
eat,
oh, how i love to eat!

this is my list, blessed.

in times of doubt, golden moments arise and glisten in the light
the shine of life is the testament to time being right

my fantasies are running rampant, as always
the beauty of the northern coast and the absolute cold
steer me to forests not so far away
god bless the evergreen and god bless me

the teeth on my verbiage are biting through the thick air here
they can bite with such tremendous force
but they’ve never been trained to hurt
they do that on their own

these teeth will be free with the streams and trees in the state of evergreen
they won’t need to bite through such thick air
they won’t remember how to hurt
they will learn to swallow you whole

i live in dreams.
i fly as manta rays ought to.
soaring smoothly.

i breathe through water and i swim through land.
i am him, me.

i live free of monetary devices.
i work for the people of the world.
free and proud.

i burn holes in every pocket i see and i shout loudly.
you are not what you own.

spinning white lights on the cusp of the new millennium, daring kids spilled their guts.
breathing deeply, we’d all fall and swell with oxygen, drunk with life, in time.

words have flown to me, as spirits in a sweet wind, they’ve come.
love in all shapes form around me, within me, lately.
love as a glorious, gleaming smile, always and forever.
love as a final conquest.
love as a first, real, true love.
love as a new perspective on life, as a realization.
love as a tool to grow with.
love as a recollection of past loves.
love as fun.
love as friends, beautiful and glorious, shining always under night skies and blossoming in summer suns.
i live love, thoroughly, completely, endlessly.

looking for my out, i’ve been here before.
with music in my head and frustration on my hands, i divide my life.
i divide into what is and what should be, what will and will not, who will be ravaging my body and who will not.
where the days go is a place in my seemingly small heart, where they boil and bloom into smiles galore.
nostalgia is something that has waned.
it holds no place in me.

faces and bodies, come and go.

ink on my skin.
wide eyes enjoying the sky.
progress.

hands holding caring//comfort together.
open ears.
lasting smiles.

being punk as ****.
eating one’s self, for good.
hedonism as an application.

letting go.
pleasing while being pleased.
*** as a concept.

living richly, as poor as one can be.
travel, harsh lessons and walking away from them.
death in the most idealistic sense.

if i had the mind to alter time, i’d be divine
alive with rhyme, i’d live to die
i’d be fine

when i burrow my head under the sand,
i understand that it’s all in my hands
i’ll stand

taking promises as payments, i’ll empty the sky
the clouds will be grounded and the stars will swim in lakes and streams
the sun and the moon will be wed once more
i’ll be the ring bearer
i’ll carry their promises

if i was told to grow old, i’d be bold
i’d question time until all the wrinkles were folds
i don’t do what i’m told

the midnight sky would be blank, there’d be nothing
no definitions, no prejudices, no false pretenses, nothing to deter minds from true light
we’d all stumble around and find truth
we’d all fall in love
i’ll carry our hopes

i listen and there is no speech
the collective is silent

the trees sway                              breezes blow
breeders mate
we don’t exist

the day is upon me when i will truly leave.
i’m leaving life, as i know it and i am thankful for that.
goodbye and good riddance, with all sincerity in my heart, i mean that.
for some odd reason, there is but one person that i am very sore about leaving and she and i have already left each other multiple times.
she’s nowhere near me and that’s ok.
if i walk toward the sun, i’ll crisp and live.
if i swim toward the arctic, i’ll freeze.
when i love, i will know, i will give.
i am a path and i will walk myself.
it is never easy, but it is truth.
godspeed.

the lights, color

the arrow piercingthe falls, water
breathing, a tryst, keeping, a word
with a collectively, billowing heart, the race to enlightenment began.

‘to the woods’
‘to our minds’
‘in our hearts’ the arrival, the departure and a hole where we used to stand.
a hole in time, in space.  a hole.

i am a hole.

like a wild rice
a grain gone mad
he was left when all his brethen were all right

in the mist
a golden beam shone
she was alone in darkness, surrounded

to fall right out of a circle is to fall out of being a square
a word is a heavy blanket and learning to burn that blanket is comfort destruction

while you were out picking tangerines
i was making my burning man suit

like love on saturdays,
i hope for a few days more
and i get hours, at best.
so, i learn to cherish!
bodies tired and fulfilled,
we love and leave.

dreams spin as heartbeats pulse
legs mingle and mouths pucker
i’d live in this forever
i’d live in you forever
i hunger, i strive, i succeed and fall
i am but myself and i can love hard

i’m dripping
sopping wet and loving it
i drip with adoration
i’m deep in it

dreams swirl again
lucidity is wandering back
my life’s swagger, my love’s sway
they are becoming blessedly tangled, once more

i’m blossoming again
like a midnight jasmine
every speck of pale moonlight,
that shines through those curtains
to reveal a piece of the puzzle that is your body,
nourishes me, excites me
and i cannot help but blossom in your midnight glow

i cannot help but to become beautiful with you.

dear love,

i’ve never hated you.  i’ve only wished i’ve had you.  i miss you and i can’t wait to see you again.  i catch little glimpses of you from time to time, usually in some bed somewhere.   those glimpses don’t last more than a few hours in a weary night, these days.  i guess, i was just writing to let you know that i still care very much about you and i would really like to fully get to know you and live with you when the time is right.  i know you know quite a bit more about me, than i do you, but i want that to change.  you watch me, always, but i can’t seem to find you.  you’re an elusive beast, running freely.  i need to be learn to be just that, as well.  love, i will see you soon and hopefully, you’ll stick around, this time.

yours always,

zuw

quietly, i’ll rap on your living room window and you will show me true elation.  i will beckon you out into the night.  we will rush to my car, and you will see the two planks of cedar strapped to the top.  as i press the gas, we’ll both gaze at each other and realize that we’re running, hard and fast, away from the noise that we know and making a new home.  i will park somewhere outside of any city limits and we’ll scream in unison.  for freedom, for hope, we’ll grab the cedar from the roof and surf the skies.  all throughout the endless night, we’ll be fluidly passing through time and space and just as they are, we will be, one in the same.  gently gliding through stars, i will pick the flowers growing out of the holes in the sky and from that garden, i will hand you a bouquet of colors never known by you.  you’ll see new sights and i will be there holding your hand, loving you gently and forever.

as a single, silver hair falls from your head
your twisted foot is stepping towards death
in the golden morning glow, you’re drunk with sound
listening to the cretins singing all around
stumbling between the sunlight beams
you’ll be feasting on all your words

and i can’t bring you back to your youth
but i can tell you just what to do
swim through life and be ready to die

a ticker tape of gentle, sweet nothings
your ears perk up
your eyes, so honest and kind
your mouth, so ****** and delicious
your skin, dancing on your bones
your warmth

i slide, i sway, bite and pull
you writhe and conquer

you’ve spun me out
you’ve opened me and i, you

we are people; there are no deities that love us more than we love ourselves.
it’s deep, but we’ve got that love buried in us, somewhere.
behind blackened lungs, broken hearts, ruptured spleens and shattered vertebrae, maybe we’ll find that love.
what i have learned in my years of searching, is this:
you’ll never find what you want, but if you are honest with yourself, it may find you.

i’ll spit in a wishing well, walk on a dimly lit highway and dive head first into shallow water all because i want to.  i will forever walk that line that divides decency and insanity.  that is my place and i love it.

timid, not anymore
bold, always
peaceful, there’s also chaos
quiet, some days

i, zach, we’d both be in love with art and life if we knew truth
i think we do

small steps will get you there
but the master knows that large leaps have their purpose, too
time is an illusion

small thoughts can enlighten you
but the master knows that large minds have their purpose, too
thought is an illusion

the match of the century : absence versus thin air

smooth, rolling, i spill out her name, over and again.
my face glows with golden, glorious love.
she is wondrous.
i ought to live with her voice in my ear and her smiling lips in my shirt pocket.

as if taking leaps and bounds in opposite directions, has brought us together.
i will dream of her, with eyes wide.
i have never been so scared of something so full.
poets sleep alone, but dreamers never die.

your urge for other bodies
your love for mine
you’re an astounding lover
and i think that you want to show that off

there are admirers
there are thieves and liars
there are god-like men
and men with god complexes
there is me

i stand amidst the lot of them
i stand shining brightly
i stand with my eyes wide
i stand with my vision clear
i stand loving you
i stand loving you eternally
i stand hoping that you see

open
spread
i
enter

in light
in dark
we
unite

with love
with heart
yab-yum
comes

blessings
sexually
divide
and protect

ink on skin and wit on tongue, i love you.
a sucker for seizing the moment, i adore you.
never turning my head for more than a moment, i study you, discreetly.
a form with new curves, new golden aspects, new wonders, i would devote all of my life to knowing you.

in a room that i’d normally call a cave, i felt free and wild, like the days of my youth, running on the streets, bare-chested, no-hair chested, shorts, no shoes and my spirit ten feet in front of me.  such pure panic, the panic that has always hurled me into the moments in time that have beauty speckled with the gorgeous glimmers which have been plucked from the eyes of everyone involved.  that panic was always there on the streets with me, jumping, swinging, playing and lunging into life with more ferocity than ever documented in NatGeo.  scraped knees and grass stains on my face, you are my summer and you will go.  i will always remember the way you smell.

the convex, the wretch caves
listlessly, she folds
primitive in her ways, she survives

a tear in time
just like the moments in REM
she has control

and her heart!

and her heart!

with teeth, now, with teeth
she opens up and her teeth scream in unison
“we are and thank god for that”

welcomed to her own subconscious
she eats well and sleeps tightly
her food is her madness

serenity:thepeace

serenity:thepeace

liquified dessert cakes
solidified scents
the pink slip

truth be told
she has lived a lucid life
bereft


what a lazy martyr!


what a lazy martyr!