I wanna bottle up the memories of you
Filter my blood of your poison
Detach your roots, the roots you sunk so deeply into my heart
Erase the taste of your hesitant lips from mine
**** the paradoxical sensation of your hands caressing my thighs
Forget the way your eyes light up when you look at me
Estinguish the flaming desires blazing inside me
Burry the letters you wrote me with your shaky hands
Burn the traces of you on every inch of my skin
I wanna bottle up the memories of you
Let them simmer for years
Just like fine wine
For you were my sweet addiction
I was hooked on every aspect of you.
Every dimension of your being
Ignited a fire in my *****
Made me go mad
Mad for the love we felt but never had
Sent me on endless journeys within the murrals of my overworked brain
Got me moaning, screaming
Rushed my adreline like a hurricane invading every pillar of my body
Dilated my pupils
Intensified the beats of my fragile heart
Clogged the flow of blood to my head
Forced my teeth into my lips, even yours
I wanna bottle up the memories of you
As the few thing that create this bittersweet sensation and trigger the smallest cells of my being--
Other than the trembling flame of your liveliness--
Are the taste of wine burning the insides of my mouth
while the substance slowly blurrs my tired eyes
The smell of a book whose pages await the touch of my fingers absorbing each of the letters
The hazy feeling of worn-out eyes at the end of a day free of frames
The cold temperature of ice cream warmed up by the heat of melted chocolate
The smoothness of the soul of a tea cup covering the frames of my glasses
The sound of the sweet combination of words and notes blasting through my earphones
And the bottled up memories of you
Left to simmer for years
Just like fine wine
Burning the insides of my mouth
Till my eyes get tired of looking for your face in a faceless crowd

Take me back to the time
when the only concerns of mine
were cartoons and coloring pens.
When I was not stuck behind this fence,
trying to escape to a better place,
trying to avoid the problems I face.
Where the lights are darker;
the nights are longer;
and the sorrow is lighter.
Where the pain is fading,
and the scars are healing.
Where I can finally breathe, again.
Where I'm not at a dead end.
Where I can look in the mirror
and see beyond the bruised up picture.
Where there is no reflection,
no sight of agonizing perplexions,
no sight of a face that is painted black.
Borrowed but never given back,
this heart is not mine.
Those eyes are not mine.
I see the present but am stuck in the past.
I get drunk on the toxins racing just as fast
as the memories holding me back in chains.
I get high on the thoughts smoked up in my brain.
I struggle to stay alive outside of myself.
This body has become a prison by itself.
Living inside the walls of this cell
has made my vision too foggy,
my hands too ******,
my will too sloppy,
my days too rocky,
my mind too cloudy;
to act sane,
to try and maintain,
the fake play staged for the fools
who will laugh and point fingers at you
as soon as you leave the room.
You are a freak show;
at you, money they throw;
betting how much more you'll last
until all things holding you together collapse,
until you become a forgotten story of the past.

I look around searching for myself,
I look for a sign to know where I dwell.
I can see my hands, my nose, my feet.
I can smell, taste, hear, and feel.
I have emotions, loud and clear;
I have feelings of love and fear,
I am a soul in a stranger's body,
I am a prisoner of a world too haughty.
What is a house when it does not feel like home?
What is a family when your true self cannot be shown?
Why does finding someone who understands you seem so hard?
Why does trying to be yourself only makes you fall apart?
Who said life is all about pleasing others?
Who said life is all about being mothers?
Is faking how you feel really worth it?
Is practice enough to make you perfect?
Are those voices in my brain really there?
Are those people being honest and fair?
Am I the only one who feels alienated?
Am I the only one who feels castrated?
Tell me, am I skinny enough to fit the standards?
Tell me, am I smart enough to have manners?
Tell me now, do I have a pretty face?
Tell me now, do I deserve to be chased?
Does it look like I am chaste?
Does it look like I am straight?
Will I ever escape the system?
Will I ever not be a victim?
Can I, for once, close my eyes
Can I, for once, see a world free of lies?

Like a piece of wrinkly gold
Color blinding, shape so bold

Emerging from the brown earth
Like the sunrays on a day’s birth

Surface caresses the skin with its bumps
The road of life felt by the thumb

Up and down; perfect symmetry
Radiant shine fills the eyes, so glittery.

Peel away the shell of gold
Gems and stones slowly unfold

Brown as dirt; mighty treasures
Hazel heart full of pleasure
The tongue is lost; no maps, no measures

Melting surface in the cave of the mouth
Blissful substance drowning south

Dissolving into a heavenly taste
No plan in mind, unknown faith
Just one tale in utopian pace

Traveling down the narrow tube
Shape deformed; no circles, no cubes
A melting cure for dreadful blues

Let your lips play around with mine
Adrenaline explodes through your eyes
Heart starts racing
Skipping beats when it's you i'm facing
Not used to breaking free from my control
It sinks into my lungs where it unfolds
The sweetest pleasure of this new experience
Overwhelmed with the surreality of your existence
Yet it shelters itself in the warmth of your hands
Roaming around not knowing where to stand
Blushing red, rose shy
To let the world know that you're mine
But pink cheeks and intimidated emotions
Draw it deeper
And deeper
into the shadows of your motions
To cover up the intensity of their flow.
Thus ask your heart for it knows
The celebration that my body throws
Each time you come close
Each time my aura interwinds with yours
Each time my spirit senses the pulses of your soul

My palms are numb from holding on
To your hands that keep them warm
My fingers get stuck in yours
From carrying them for too long
My heart jumps up and down
It skips a beat but keeps beating on
Till my eyes get ahold of yours
Staring at me, drowning me in
Grasping the image of my reflection
Like i'm the definition of perfection

My cheeks will always be waiting to be sheltered
I'm ready to love you with all my senses
My body is a thousand feet above the ground
floating on air
And it does not care
I'm high on something that cannot be shared

When asked "why him, not someone else"
I don't have anything to say except
I love when your hands touch mine
I love the feelings they trigger inside
I love when you kiss my forehead
When you look at me and you almost forget
To breathe so you order yourself to look away
I love it when you get shy
When your lips say you wanna kiss me but instead;
You lower your head
Close my eyes and smile
I love when you hold me and look straight in my eyes
When i stuff my head in your chest
When i hear your heart that refuses to rest
I love when you kiss my hand
When you hug me so tight that i can't
Help but feel so tiny
With your hands wrapped around me
And my head under your neck

What i hate is
That i can't describe the things i love about you
Unless i wanna limit myself to a couple of pages to view
What i hate is
That from all the poems that i wrote
This must be the cheesiest
That's the best i've got
Let's give it another shot

I love when you say that you do
I love that i feel the same way too

They say pain demands to be felt
With the deepest part of your heart
With all your senses, the ones left
From a numb body that has been shot
With sharp arrows that slowly lead to your death
Torturing your spirit till you feel it escape from your chest
Running away from the suffering
Tearing up your skin, layer by layer
Leaving marks and signs everywhere
Stabbing your heart fearlessly along the way..
And suddenly blood rushes through your veins
You feel the adrenaline racing the cells of your brain
A thought freezes the tremendous pain
The thought of him reinforces the army that stands against you
The whole world stops to embrace it too
Finding the source of the bombs
That exploded all at once
It was not pain triggered by the absence of your loved one, no
Not the plague that infects your heart once in a while, no
Not the butterflies at war in your stomach when you see him, no
Something toxic and dark; above all
It is,indeed, his presence that tortures your soul
With words that rip you apart like a sword