A SNOW STORM CREATED BY OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS AND TED BUNDY



LAST NIGHT, OSAMA BIN LADEN WANTED TO REALLY ROCK THE WORLD AND CAUSE A REAL BIG SNOWSTORM

WHICH WILL SHAKE UP THE WORLD, YOU SEE PEOPLE ARE FRANTIC IN NEW YORK AND SURROUNDINGS

WHICH HAD TO CLOSE A FEW SCHOOLS AS WELL, AND RONNIE BIGGS AND TED BUNDY SAID, WE ARE

GOING TO GRAB BRIAN ALLAN, WHO IS CRONUS, SO HIE POWERS CAN’T BE USED HERE, YOU SEE

THEY BOUGHT IN MANY HURRICANES AND LOADS OF SNOW, WITH THE SOUND WOULD SCARE EVERYONE,

YOU SEE,OSAMA TED AND RONNIE HAVE BRIAN ALLAN PAUL BERENYI AND ADAM WALSH, TRAPPED

SO THEIR EVIL PLAN TO STOP NEW YORK AND SURROUNDS, FOR A FEW DAYS, YA KNOW ANY BROADWAY SHOWS

ON, WILL BE CANCELLED, AND PEOPLE RUSH TO BUY FOOD, SO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU, ARE TRAPPED

AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS, AND THOSE SNOW PLOW MEN WILL SUFFER, YOU SEE, LIKE BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

AND ADAM WALSH, ARE ******* TO THE SUN, KEEPING THE SNOW, DOWN IN THE USA, AND THE SUN IS BLOCKED

PAUL, ADAM AND BRIAN, ALL SCREAMED, HELP, HELP, LET US GO, BUT OSAMA WHO WAS THE RING LEADER SAID

NO PAUL B BRIAN A AND ADAM WALSH, ARE WIRTH US FOREVER, AND THE PEOPLE IN CANBERRA ARE SAYING

LET BRIAN BE OUR LITTLE SKATEGOAT, WE LIKED THAT LITTLE GUY, BUT BRIAN AND PAUL AND ADAM

ARE BEING FORCED TO KEEP THE SUN AWAY SO THE USA CAN COMPLETELY SUFFER,

YOU SEE, US, BAD GUYS, LIKE WE HAVE YOU BOYS WITH US AND WHERE NOT PLANNING TO LET

YOU GO, UNTILL, AT LEAST THIS SNOW, DESTROYS THE LIVES OF EASTERN AMERICA, EVERYONE ON EARTH

WHY IS THIS SNOW, TAKING AFFECT, AND TED BUNDY SAID, I AM NOT LETTING YOU GUYS GO, YOU WILL BE WITH ME

FOREVER, AND EVER AMEN, YOU SEE EVERY BLADE OF SNOW, THAT FALLS AND CAUSES HAVOC, IS THE WORK

OR THESE SPIRITUAL VILLIANS, YOU SEE, BRIAN ALLAN STOPPED YOUTUBE SHOWING KIDS TYING THEMSELVES UP

ON YOUTUBE, AND TED, RONNIE AND OSAMA, HAVE TRAPPED BRIAN, WITH PAUL AND ADAM, AND FLIGHTS ARE BEING CANCELLED AS WELL

EVERYTHING IS BEING SHAKEN, OVER ON THE EASTERN COAST OF AMERICA, AND AS THE VILLIANS FLEM PAST THE SUN

WITH LOADS OF BIG SNOWBALLS, THEY WENT HEH HEH HEH HEH , WE HAVE YOU CRONUS AND YOUR TWO FRIENDS

YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE, OK, WHILE WE ARE TRYING TO FORCE MORE AND MORE SHOW, AND HOPEFULLY FLOOD

THE ENTIRE EATS AMERICAN CITIES, AND EACH PERSON IN NEW YORK ARE RUNNING AROUND BUYING SUPPLIES

AND BROADWAY IS BEING CLOSED FOR THE DAY, MAYBE LONGER, HOW LONG ARE OSAMA BIN LADEN AND TED BUNDY AND RONNIE BIGGS

GOING TO KEEP BRIAN AND PAUL AND ADAM UP THERE, BLOCKING THE SUN FROM DESTROYING A BIG AMERICAN SNOWSTORM

THEN AFTER TED BUNDY SAID GOODBYE, HE WENT OVER TO BRIAN AND PAUL, AND BASHED THEM WITH A RAY OF VERY HOT LIGHT

FROM A SWORD, THREATENING THEM AS HE SAID, I WILL HAVE YOU KIDS, WITH ME, FOREVER, PAUL AND BRIAN SAID, WE AIN’T KIDS

WE ARE MEN, AND RONNIE BIGGS SAID, YEAH, 2 LITLLE BRATTY KIDS, YOU 2, ARE AND THEN BASHED THEM, AS THEY CAN’T GET

THEIR BODIES, FREE FROM MY CLUTCHES, AND WE ALL SCREAMED, FUCKEN LET US GO, YA BLEEDING LITTLE ****

YOU SEE OSAMA, IS A ****, YOU SEE HIM WITH RONNIE BIGGS AND TED BUNDY, TRAPPING PAUL BRIAN, AND ADAM, AS WELL

AS MANY AMERICANS, WHO CAN’T LEAVE THEIR HOUSE, A KIDNAPPING MADE, THAT POLICE CAN’T STOP, UNLESS THEY WENT

AGAINST THE THEORY OF NATURE, AND OSAMA, TED AND RONNIE YELLS OUT HEH HEH HEH HEH, WE HAVE EVERYONE IN OUR TRAP

HEH HEH HEH HEH AND NOBODY ESCAPES THESE SPIRITUAL VILLIANS, JUST ASK BRIAN ALLAN, PAUL BERENYI AND ADAM WALSH, NOONE

ummmmmmmm  he was the pride of south australia

ummmmmmmmm as the coach of the adelaide crows

immmmmmmmm then he was brutally stabbed my pal

immmmmmmmmm  despite being respected by his foes

immmmmmmmmm it’s sad that he lost his life

this year was his 55th on this crazy planet

ummmmmmmmmm he certainly loved his life

immmmmmm the saddest day of the nation,

immmmmmmm this man had finished his life

ummmmmmm football certainly loved phil walsh

ummmmmmmm as the coach of the adelaide crows

rest in peace phil walsh immmmmmm RIP UMMMMMMMM RIP UMMMMMMMM

no game for crows this week, because of the ordeal

briano alliano at saturn club rings


hi dudes and welcome to my show, the first song is born to PARTY

you see i was born to PARTY, on a sarturday night

i don’t care what the oldies say, i will just party anyway

you see i have a reason, everything is going well



so i will just party hardy, yeah i feel so cool

i want to be like the young dudes of this land

and get into the party spirit every way i can

i don’t really need a reason, no, i am cool anyway

you see i was born to party, so i will do it anyway

i will sink into the ground man, wearing high heel shoes

i will go to my mates house, with dreams of moving in

he was a bit mental, as he couldn’t understand

that i was born to party, and that is what i do

you see we will grab a methane and squirt it everywhere

and then grab a beer or two, yeah that is quite yobboish

you see we get drunk which means we are high on life

every day of the yeah, so we were born to party

like the young dudes do, ya see don’t spike my drink, man

i am too cool for you, you see i have a point in life, to never

unattend my drink, you see i know the tablet will make you drowsy

so he could kidnap you, bu i am too cool for that

you see i was born to party, and that is what i do

i was born to party, fun for me and you

hi dudes and now here is rock the party

you see i feel like i am having fun rock the party rock the party

i wanna party while the night is young, rock the party rock the party

i cheer for the ACT brumbies, well, they lost well, they lost

you see the bar is a open a open a open, and the party is turning on all the party going dudes

and the beer is selling quickly along with the gassy methane, man

ready to tip the methane on us, man, we will party

you see i saw a house which was great, and my mate wanted me to move in

so i thought about it, it’ll be fun to party, fun to party fun to party on

moving on up and moving on down and marilyin monroe put on a broadway show on neptune so cool

then sam kinison sang wild thing, and i liked his add lib, you know my heart is longing for you dude

making you wanna scream, rock the party rock the party

then i ate some cheese and bacon *****, and gusted them down with coke

the party started to form in my mouth and making me feel so cool

before i went to sleep i listened to kiss, bon jovi and a broadway show, called spiderman

and i ate mars bars and drink juice, yeah that sounds so radical

saturday night is the night to rock the party rock the party

and i opened a keg of methane and tipped it all over adam walsh and brett

to improve the quality of the olsen twins, to make them PARTY again

so really we are getting into a great rock the party rock the party

and we’ll party all saturday night long

hi dudes and now here is another tune called my life is a stinker

you see last night i was wondering why i haven’t performed on stage

could it be that i was too **** shy, or was it i was just not ready

i really want it all so ****** much, to show the world how to party party

but this is how i just relax, and let my life pass me by

you see my life is a stinker, every day and night

i want to party, but it’s a secret just between you and me

you see i spend my money on fun and games, mainly done with alcohol

i buy my girl some raggedy old fashioned sort or doll

she yelled at me from 10 to 10, it was hard for me to cope

and the only way to get past this, is switch on the TV to hear the pope

my life is a stinker, every day and night, i wish you would leave me alone, please mate yeah alright

ooooooh cosmos

my way of entertainment is the poetry slam, and bad slam no biscuit yeah

i entertain everyone oh yeah, i shake their ****** boogie, yes my dear

then my name is called and i enter the stage and slam

my poetry like it’s a good thing, dude, every day and night

my life is a stinker, every day and night

you see we will party hardy every night, no i say no to fights

cause my life is a stinker, take me away from the psych ward

that isn’t the place for me, i am too nice for that place

hi dudes, and here is another song called fly burgers

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato and have so much fun

now at the footy, the flies are cooking on the plate

they are saying, momma, you are stopping up too late

just catch a well cooked blowie, and throw him in the bowl

where you have the burger mix, yeah that is so cold

fly burgers, are good enough to eat

fly burgers, are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

in a restaurant a fly comes in and parks on the griller

you feel like honking like dharma’s old yeller

but instead you get two buttered buns and lettuce and tomato

get the fly and serve him up, tasty as gelato

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato’'

and have so much fun

in the summer friends drop round to enjoy the atmosphere

some bring coke some bring wine

and most of them brought beer

the bbq man noticed a fly upon his back

he gets the fly and serves him up, OH HERE JACK

fly burgers, are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

the hospital has been busy this year since fly burgers were on the menu

people say fly burgers put germs right in you

an old man and a young boy, both died of food poisoning

but nobody knows if it was the fly burgers that did them in

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato, my dray

and have some and have so and have so much fun

hi dudes, this is a song called i am a family party dude

i am a family person who is looking everywhere for a party

at the club on grand final daY, and on poetry slam day

where we yell out bad slam no biscuit bad slam no biscuit

all the ****** day, we could be celebrating your daughters graduation

from a school she so adored

then we drag out the old songs, and the young dudes get bored

you see partying is so much fun, no matter how hard you try

you see you try and be a fun loving guy like who really loves to p a r t y

oooh, i wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day

how much coffee do you drink to whisk the hangover away

i used to go to the blind beggars inn, to really let my hair down

now, i party at home with youtube, yeah that sounds so rad

you see i am a family party dude, who wants to have some fun

i want music and sport, yeah alrighty, that sounds like my type of fun

cool man, cool you, i say cool me, i am a family party dude

the man of the party is here, last night i went to the club to watch the brumbies they lost i won

the chance to go home and party in front of youtube, with bon jovi and kiss as well as spiderman the musical, pretty rad

then i fell asleep on the couch, ready to come to you, and show you how to party hardy, yeah that is true blue

hey true blue, don’t say the party’s over, just because you go home, doesn’t mean you can’t party

you see i used to go to night clubs and swing with the cool dudes there, hey true blue

you see i am a family party dude, i party everywhere

i am getting younger by the minute, and i still love life, so party on dudes, no fear

i get up late on sunday morning, after this great party in the stars

and after this, i will go to jupiter and neptune to muck around in bars

tipping methane all over everyone, yeah that sounds radical dude

PARTY PARTY PARTY on saturday night, yeah i am so cool

cool you, yeah cool me, the coolest dude of the cosmic realm

ready to party yeah we will

the argument of the universe, ends the life of youtube sensation, caleb



in the great saturn club rings on thursday october 1 2015m peter sargent and ted bundy

had a very strong argument which really was beginning to turn nasty, first ted ******* paul berenyi

and snatched greame thorne and adam walsh, making their earth bodies really shook up

you see greame thorne is me, brian allan from canberra and adam walsh is some young man who was

killed by the parramatta terrorist and peter sargent came up to ted bundy, and said, stop this, i mean

you should stop this, and ted said, i am slowing the earth down, so you will be good to mind your own business

but peter said, neh, i don’t want to let you win, you see my earth body is a cool boy, never to be killed, you

will never get us ted bundy, ted bundy grabbed peter by the arm saying, watch what you say, buddy, but peter

really wanted to slow down teds reign, because this is weird what the world has been going through since you died

first you made brian allan a crazy person by making him tie himself up in a toilet in mitchell, and can’t you see he is suffering

too much from that stupid mistake your ghost made him do and it was awful to push his next door neighbour brendan down as well,

brian really liked him, and me, you made me **** myself when i was having problems that you caused, and ted said, but you are

enjoying being a cool boy now, don’t jeopardise it, dude, but peter kept on yelling blaming him for all the suicides that happened like

anthony, the mentally ill christian, and barry loughton as well as mark jones, and i know these deaths were normal, but you are the reason why

they are dead, ted, and i hate what you are doing to brian allan from canberra lately, he likes watching his grandmas next life annie be with slim dusty

who is hayley, and me who is caleb, but you are trying to **** him, by making his old school chin patrick enright, in his mind, tease him in his mind

treating him like his family, by making him lose interest in things, and peter told ted, he hates what you are putting in brian’s mind, by killing off all the

old fogies one by one, you see brian’s aunty pam developed a cancer of the lung, giving her no energy, she never smokes, and peter told ted that

he hates dads dellusional ghost trying to make brian write and think evil things about his father, and peter said, you will never get my current earth body

he plays baseball and really enjoys being a youtube sensation, peter said to ted bundy, you see what you are doing is destroying the world, including

my beloved canberra, where i met brian and chris allan, who played cricket with me, and i hate how you are making brian tease his dad with the poor people

i know he doesn’t want to be a rich ****, but some of the situations were very dodgy, and i want you to let brian allan be a man, ya know, i know he still likes

cricket despite of what he tells people, and ted bundy, at about 7 on the 1st october, struck caleb from bratayley down, by grabbing his cool kid, and tying him up

on the sun with paul berenyi and adam walsh and greame thorne, and the way he did this, was grab peter sargent by the arm and say, you are no longer a youtube sensation

by grabbing you, i **** off your youtube sensation life caleb, and burn your cool kid in the sun, you see peter, there is no heaven, and there is no hell, you see if you are a

nice kid, i will, put you on the sun, ready to suffer in your next life, you’ll never know, peter, i might bring you back to hole in the wall canberra, in a poor neighbourhood

you see peter, i am destroying the life of crocus’s current earth body, by giving him sore feet, and keeping the cool kids away from him, like brattayley, i know that brian’s

grandmother on his mothers side is there as annie, and slim dusty is hayley, and if they return after the funeral of caleb, i have powers to take the cool kid off

these kids, ted bundy said, because, what i was doing on earth, was turning people off, showing the world their fresh legs, peter said, let us go, ted bundy, please let us go

i will never lose my reign, and your next life will certainly know it, peter sargent, peter said, i will make sure, you suffer, and ted said, think about it, brian allan wants to be famous and living in adelaide

but money is keeping him here in canberra ok, so you will never get what you want, while you have to understand, even the rich people who are seldom getting what they want

in theory, are being bashed or murdered, or maybe even both, this world isn’t good, and that is because of me, ted bundy said and caleb is suffering, as he doesn’t want to be *******

to the sun, he wants to be with bratayley, to live to be old, and ted bundy said heh heh heh heh we will make4 brian allan suffer as he wants to give greame thorne is wish of being famous

trying to beat ted bundy forcing his old mate patrick’s teasing voice out of his head forever, but what is happening ted is saying, let’s make brian’s school friends watch the professionals

and laugh at brian, yeah this sounds radically awesome said ted, granny is with slim dusty through annie and hayley, but because of caleb being snatched from there to be tied to the sun

will bratayley return, or will ted bundy get what he wants, no technology for young people, and this is a hard battle, but we all must stop the ghost of ted bundy, by doing what we want to do

as long as it is good, and realise if we do things that is bad, it’s ted bundy that is enforcing it

Now listen well and hear this tale
Of a sixteen year old lad
Who with his wit and flying skill
Made two great countries glad

The chasm was eight hundred feet
Across Niagara Falls
The travelers could not get across
The steep and spray soaked walls

“We need a bridge”, cried engineers
A modern thoroughfare
But how to reach the other side?
We cannot build on air

A rocket or an arrow? No.
But what about a kite?
Let’s have a contest for the youth
We’d have a start, though slight

The people came with kites prepared
For fame and a reward
And Homan Walsh was very first
To span the gorge with cord

A string, then ropes, then cables spanned
And soon the bridge was done
The mighty falls could now be crossed
With string it was begun

And every great accomplishment
Began with something small
Remember Homan and his kite
That bridged Niagara Falls

The television is getting worse, I have noticed on its viewing
What the **** is going on, what do you think your doing ?
Maybe its ungrateful, but our minds are just left stewing
Why must people endure repeats, through years of program queuing?
An example is the game shows, there on every side just brewing
We're paying for the privilege, its the public that your *******

We don't want Deal Or No Deal, with all those crap crisp boxes
Q.I. is not that interesting, it has too many paradoxes
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire ? is that just a stupid question?
I would love to Strike It Lucky, so what is your suggestion?

Pointless has the correct name, cos that's exactly what it is
Has Jasper Carrot got Golden *****, or is he *******
Why is there ***** Money, did they ran out of toilet tissues
Julian Clary had Sticky Moments, and outrageous camping issues

Whenever Opportunity Knocks, well just open the door
If your going to Take Me Out, then what are you waiting for?
Don't Name That Tune In One, I'd rather hear it all
A Question Of Sport is so boring, its hardly on the ball

Is it the Weakest Link, because the chain is full of rust?
Didn't Blockbusters close down, and the video shop go bust ?
Why Should I Supermarket Sweep, Dale can sweep it himself
The pyramid Game is just, an apex polyhedron triangular shelf

I Don't want to go on Mastermind, and look like a ******* fool
If I went Through The Keyhole, then I must be minuscule
Why Would I Lie To You? wouldn't that be a bit two faced
I'm not sure if Celebrity Squares, are really all straight laced?
Could you please repeat yourself, I did not Catch that Phrase
Just how many crystals where there, in the Crystal Maze?

Was Spin Star cancelled, because celebrities where break dancing
Or was it Bradley Walsh's giant fruit, that needed some enhancing?
Why is it called The Chase, when there's no chasing involved?
The Chasers are sat on there arses, so The Chase is never solved

I don't think it is the Wheel Of Fortune, even if you do
You don't really get much fortune, till you solve the final clue
Paul Daniels said Every Second Counts, so forget the introductions
Just get on with the game play, don't even bother with instructions

Philip Schofield played with Five Gold Rings, isn't that just wrong
I thought that Five Gold Rings, belonged to a Christmas song
Ted Rogers read such stupid clues, it made it hard to win
No wonder 3.2.1 contestants, usually won poor Dusty Bin

I would really love to drink, some of that Celebrity Juice
But first I'll have to find out, which ones are tight or loose
I'm not lucky enough to have 300 Blanks, with a lovely lady in a bed
I'll have to hand it to myself, and have a Blankety Blank instead

Mr & Mrs is outdated, most Marriages are not enforced
Those couples who where happy once, are probably divorced
Treasure Hunt used a Helicopter, clues found by Anneka Rice
She ran around quite frantically, but her **** was rather nice

Isn't Ann Widdecombe a dark horse, she liked a Cleverdick
I Suspect if she had the chance, she'd like a **** that's thick
There used to be Telly Addicts, but now they are history
We no longer want Noel Edmunds, or crap games on our TV

Poor Bully tried to play Darts, but his aim was far to high
It isn't all that great or Super, missing the Bullseye
Come on now Jim its not fare, making the contestants cry
To look at what you could have won, and kiss the prize goodbye

Naked Jungle was a one off, Keith Chegwin in the buff
I'm glad it did not continue, so please don't Call My Bluff
Countdown has been on for years, we've had a ****** enough
Only Connect and 15 to 1, are hard and far too tough

Family fortunes and Eggheads, we don't want all this stuff
Fort Boyard and Mock The Week, stick them up you chuff
Going For Gold and Gladiators, too old and looking rough
University Challenge and Impossible, there really dull and duff

Never Mind The Buzzcocks, it's a forgotten piece of Fluff
Crosswits and Chain Letters, should be dragged of by the scuff
Hole in the wall and Alphabetical, are so right of the cuff
The Cube and The Million Pound Drop, I'd walk of in a huff

Many game shows throughout the years, all needed a good host
But there isn't any spontaneity, so none of them can boast
Instead of reading from a script,and acting liked their dosed
Take the plunge make it your own, don't be a mindless ghost
Why don't hosts try to be their best, and try to be their most
Wouldn't it make more sense, to keep your audience engrossed

Ben Shepherd comes to mind, he doesn't seem all there
With his ****** expressions, weird smile and stupid stare
How did he become a host, was it all based on a dare
Why is his act robotic, its more than we can bare

Its like watching a recording, this isn't really fare
If we are subjected to this crap, then we deserve a share
I guess its our misfortune, its enough to make you swear
We're already at our Tipping Point, so we no longer care

Now I'm not saying that every host, is as bad as old Ben Shep
In fact there is at least one guy,who has a better Rep
He may not be a large man, in fact he played a Lep
But at least he isn't wooden, and he's with you every step

Warwick Davis's Act is Tenable, and he has not compromised
With good hosting skills, jokes and quips Warwick has realized
Although I'm not a game show fan, I am pleasantly surprised
He stands tall over the other hosts, even though he is pintsized

Why keep making game shows, was there a voting pole?
I believe there are too many, they are so ******* droll
As bad as all reality, the schedules they both stole
Axe the ******* lot of them, and chuck them down a hole

Just take a look at Brucie, may god rest his soul
He was around for decades, and hosting was role
Taking over all the shows, seemed to be old Brucie's goal
The years weren't kind to old Bruce, they definitely took there toll

There is a Brucie Bonus, available for every Generation
All you really needed, was the right kind of motivation
Nice to see you to see you nice, was Bruce's obligation
Life was the name of the game, in a family situation

A cuddly toy on a conveyer belt, in a prize observation
Didn't he do well all, depends on your own determination
If You Play Your Cards Right, Dollies Dealing a sensation
You don't get anything for a pair, maybe its infatuation

You can freeze but you cant stick, all dealt in isolation
Do you want to bet on it, was a gambling invitation
The price was always right, just use your imagination
Come on down to old Bruce, win a car and a vacation

Maybe he's a legend, with Bruce's game show graduation
A chance to host a new show, a Good Game realization
What's on the board miss ford, moving on to a new creation
It turned camp when they shut that door, and hired Larry Grayson

What was it with Bruce Forsyth, he was far too keen
He monopolised the hosting, on the game show scene
Seizing every opportunity, ever since he was fourteen
Just like Command and Conqueror, on the TV screen
He took on all the game shows, maybe he's just mean
But I cant help but to wander, where else has he been?

With all of his catchphrases, and a chin that was obscene
A wig that was like shredded wheat, it never should be seen
I don't know if I'm being harsh, it maybe his routine
And its all in his makeup, and part of Bruce's gene
Perhaps he liked the studio, and had too much caffeine
Along with the all dodgy food, in the BBC canteen

Now Challenge screens the game shows, but there all so ******* old
We've already seen all these games, they've already all been sold
I do not mean to sound too flippant, but why wont you be told
Your sending your viewers up the wall, and your audiences cold
Now let me state what's obvious, I hope I am not too bold
We don't want all these rehashed games, there hardly TV gold

From fairytale princess gowns to feathery mini-dresses, bold skinny trouser looks and showgirl sequins, Bridal Fashion Week had something for brides of every size, shape and style inclination.

White reigned, as did classic silhouettes to please the most traditional bride. For everybody else, there were splashes of color, plenty of fluttery floral applique and sparkle, sparkle, sparkle.

Highlights from the Spring 2017 collections:

CHRISTIAN SIRIANO FOR KLEINFELD

After a smaller, capsule collection for the famed bridal shop, Siriano teamed with Kleinfeld again on a broader range.

His show stopper was a pricey pink ombre ball gown with a sweetheart neckline and skinny straps. As an evening wear designer, Siriano said bridal was a natural fit. He created in a range of sizes up to 24 or 26 — and a range of price points from about $3,500 to about $19,000.

Noting most dresses can be modified, he showed a lot of sleeves. There were long lacy ones on a column gown and a structured, off-the-shoulder pair in satin, embellished with tulle and strings of pearl.

One of his mermaid gowns included cascading ruffles. He used four tiers of ruffle at the bottom of a white, tailored suit jacket with matching boot-cut trousers.

Siriano also offered a range of hem lengths, from well above the knee in an appliqued mini to a fitted tea length with an ornate high neck and dramatic train.

In a backstage interview, Siriano said he's enjoying his first full push into bridal with the 27 pieces for Kleinfeld after focusing most of the time on evening.

"But the customer is so different," he said. "There's not as many rules. You can get away with trying new things, doing new things. It's a little fantasy dream world."

And what will Siriano wear when he weds his longtime boyfriend, Brad Walsh, at their Connecticut house this summer?

"I don't know. Literally we've got nothing," Siriano laughed.

INES DI SANTO

This was a **** runway dominated by sheers holding lots of floral creations in place. Romance meets sensuality is how the Toronto-based designer likes it.

While many of her looks were fit for royalty, complete with extra-long trains, she also ventured into over-the-top. An ultra-short hem with just one long lace sleeve had tulle skirting that skimmed the floor in back and leggings mismatched with floral embellishment, offering the appearance of one bare and one covered.

Spring itself was her inspiration this time around.

"The flowers, the garden, the beautiful trees, the sky, the sun," Di Santo said in an interview.

There were other vibes, in a sleeveless illusion Palazzo romper, for instance, with an encrusted bodice and dramatic detachable bell sleeves.

"I went very soft, romantic. You can see through the layers of the lace, the legs, the tulle," she said.

Like other designers, Di Santo included fit-and-flare looks along with sheaths, A-line silhouettes, halter necks and princess ball gowns.

Her backs and necklines were often illusion style, offering a barely there appearance. She included open bolero jackets for brides looking for a little cover, along with detachable skirt options for those who want to change up the outfit for the reception.

At the core of any bridal collection, Di Santo said, is how the dress speaks to budding love in marriage.

"It's so important," she said. "You can live without many things but you cannot live without love."



OSCAR DE LA RENTA

Designer Peter Copping is making his mark gradually at the storied Oscar de la Renta label, with a mind toward both preserving his predecessor's legacy and modernizing the label in his own way. In his bridal collection, Copping included some looser shapes — not everything was cinched tightly at the waist, princess-style — and even some short bridal gowns.

"I was thinking of the different women who are brides and the different ways women can get married," Copping said in a post-show interview, "because it's not always the same rules or traditions that people are looking for. So I think it's important within the collection to have a good cross-section of dresses, some short, some big columns, a real mix of fabrics."

Indeed, some of the gowns featured the sumptuous, extravagant embroidery for which the house is justly famous, and others featured much subtler embroidery for a more modern look.

"I think it was really just having a complete range of dresses," Copping said. The most striking were two short numbers, a nod to the popularity (and danceability) of shorter lengths, even if you can afford the big princess gown. "Yes I think it's popular," Copping said of the shorter length, "and I also think it's very relevant for rehearsal dinners, where a woman can still feel bridal the night before."

A highlight of the de la Renta bridal show is always the impeccably attired little children modeling flower-girl designs. "Having children here reflects what a real wedding is," said Copping.

And then there was Barbie.

Guests were sent home with the de la Renta Barbie doll, wearing a strapless white lacy column gown with a light blue tulle overskirt — something blue, of course. And in case you were wondering, under the skirt were some teetering white heels. No flats for this miniature bride.



REEM ACRA

For a bride looking to be just a bit daring, visible boning in corseting lent a uniqueness to some of Acra's fitted bodices.

There was an abundance of drama in ultra-long trains and encrusted sheer overlays. And Acra, too, offered a variety of sleeve options, including a web design on a snug pair that ended just above the elbow. The design, almost twig-like, was carried through to the rest of the full-skirted look.

Many of her dress tops were molded at the chest, bustier style, while she played with the lower halves. And some of her silhouettes fit tightly across the rear, sprouting trains where some brides may not feel entirely comfortable sporting one.

Acra put a twist on other trains, creating them to detach and also be used as veils. And she went for laced-up backs, both high and plunging, on some dresses.

In an interview, she called the collection "very airy, very light." Indeed, the stage lights during her show shone right through some of her dresses.

For the edgier bride, one who might appreciate the James Bond music Acra used for her show, she offered an unusual embroidered illusion gown adorned with pearls, white jewel stones and metal grommets.

Today's brides, she said, "have to have fun," adding: "She can't stress out about her wedding. Enjoy the ride and be the bride!"



MONIQUE LHUILLIER

There were lingerie-inspired elements here, too, with a touch of color in rose, pistachio, antique ivory and caramel. There were pops of fuchsia in bloom applique fitting for the outdoor garden where she staged her show.

Lhuillier decorated some organza gowns with hand-painted floral designs in asymmetrical layered tulle and silk organza. Deep necklines were prominent, with simple slip dresses offered along with bohemian gowns of lace and sheer skirts. Lhuillier also used corset bodices paired with cascading tulle skirts.

The collection felt like a chic romp, complete with high slits for a run through nature.

"My woman this season is in love and care free," Lhuillier said in an interview. "A little bohemian but just carefree."

The only clear trend in bridal these days, she said, is the need for designers to present more options.

"My core bride is somebody who loves femininity, she loves tradition but with a modern twist. And she wants something interesting with a lot of details," Lhuillier said.

There's definitely more fashion involved than when she began in bridal 20 years ago.

"One of the main reasons I got into the bridal business was when I was a bride in 1994, looking for a gown, I thought the options were so limited, and there was not a lot of fashion ideas," Lhuillier said.

Her bride doesn't want to be weighed down, however.

"She wants to look effortless," Lhuillier said. "But she wants to feel **** on her wedding day."

Are we all romantics on our wedding day?

"For me it's a really happy business," Lhuillier said. "We all are romantics deep down inside."



Associated Press writer Jocelyn Noveck contributed to this report.Read more at:www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-melbourne | www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses-perth

THE SUDDEN MOMENT OF BEING KIDNAPPED BY THE DEAD



YOU SEE OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS, SACKED TED BUNDY, BECAUSE HIS EARTH BODY

WAS TRYING TO BE NICE, SO OSAMA AND RONNIE GRABBED PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN

AND FLEW THEM AROUND THE PLANET JUPITER *******, AND BROUGHT ON WILD WEATHER

IN NSW, AND TRAP SO MANY PEOPLE, YOU SEE OSAMA AND RONNIE STRAPPED PAUL AND BRIAN

TO A ROBOTIC DEVICE, AND MOVING 5000 MILE PER HOUR, BRIAN AND PAUL SCREAMED CAUSE

NEITHER OF THEM WANTED TO BE KIDNAPPED TOGETHER, LET ALONE AT ALL, AND THEN, RONNIE BIGGS

GOT HIS TRAIN WHISTLE, HOWDY PARTNER, HOWDY PARTNER, I HAVE BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

BOTH *******, NEVER TO ESCAPE, AND PAUL, TRIED TO DO A MIGHTY LEAP, OVER TO TWO MOONS, BUT

FAILED AS HIS LEGS ARE SO TIGHT ON HIS STRETCHER, AS ADAM WALSH, IS STILL STRAPPED TO THE SUN

THIS IS SWEET REVENGE FOR BRIAN AND PAUL, AS THEY ARE TRYING TO GET OUT OF THERE, YOU SEE

OSAMA SAID, YOUR KIDNAPPER IS DYING SLOWLY BUT SURELY, YA SEE BRIAN ALLAN HEH HEH HEH

YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE, AND BRIAN AND PAUL WERE SCREAMING, AND THIS IS GOING TO

BE HARD AS *******, CAUSE BRIAN IS DETERMINED TO RID THESE EVIL VOICES, AND STOP ERECTIONS

IN HIS ****, WHEN HE SEES A KID, OSAMA SAYS, BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI AE WITH ME, THEY ARE WITH

US, WE’LL NEVER LET THEM GO, PAUL SAID, I WANT YOU REFORM OUR WAY BRI=URN AND THEN BRIAN SAID, MY MATE

PAT FROWNED AT MY GRANDMOTHER, BUT IT WAS IN GOOD CONVERSATION, HE WAS A NICE GUY, AND WHETHER OPEOPLE TEASE ME OR NOT

I SAY, TO MY VOICES, TEASE ME ALL YA WANT, AND OSAMA SAYS, NEH, KEEP BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

FLYING AROUND JUPITER, ABOUT 400 TIMES, AND BRIAN ALLAN, WHO BELIEVES IN THE PARANORMAL, BELIEVES

HIS SPIRIT CAN BE BROKEN UP IN 23 PIECES, IN ORDER TO NOT DIE FROM UNLEASHING THE KIDNAPPER FROM WITHIN,

BRIAN ALLAN THOUGHT, WELL, OK, I NEVER KILLED A KID, OR BRUTALLY BASHED SOMEBODY, BUT I COULD’VE HAVE KIDS

OF MY OWN, IF I WAS TO GET PAST, MY **** GETTING AN *******, FROM LOOKING AT LEGS OF YOUNG KIDS, I FIND

THIS HARD, AS, I AM BEING TEASED, AS I WRITE, YOU SEE, AS I TYPE, THE PARANORMAL FEEL, OF ME, GETTING WEIRD DELLUSIONS

OF MY OLD MATES HAND PUSHING ME AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER, EVEN THOUGH I LIKE COMPUTERS, A LOT

YOU SEE, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL, OF OSAMA BIN LADEN, HE COULD WRECK, ALL POSITIVE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

AND IF HE HAS HIS WAY, NOBODY WILL BE SAVED, AND AS BRIAN IS TRYING TO GET FREE, BUT OSAMA SAID, WE WANT YOU TO STOP

YOUR ERECTED ****, I HAVE AMAJOR PLAN, TO CHOP IT OFF, BUT THEN BRIAN SCREAMED SO LOUDLY, ******* ******* OSAMA

YOU SEE, AT PRESENT, BRIAN ALLAN, IS FORCED TO BE A SHY OLD FOGIE, AS HIS CRACKED FEET ARE REALLY HURTING, AND BRIAN

IS GETTING SILLY DELLUSIONS, OF THE PARANORMAL, TAKING HIM FROM THE SIMPLE LIFE, AND REALLY MAKING BRIAN ALLAN STRUGGLE ON EARTH,

GIVING BRIAN ALLAN NO ENERGY, FORCING OLD MATES SAY, I AM NOT YA DADDY, I AM NOT YA FUCKEN LITTLE DADDY, BRIANY

AND, THE WAY OSAMA MADE BRIAN ALLAN STRUGGLE, BY TAKING HIS HAPPY BODY, BUT BRIAN ALLAN, SAID, DO THIS, TAKE ME

I WILL PREFER YOU TO DO ALL PARANORMAL THINGS WITH ME, I CAN TAKE IT, DUDES, YOU SEE, I USED TO ASK PEOPLE ON THE STREET

TO KIDNAP ME, MEANING I HATED MY DAD TREATING NE LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY, AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I BECAME MORE RELUCTANT

TO TALK LIKE A SILLY KID, BUT I HATED MY DAD LAUGHING AT ME,  I TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP, LIKE AN ANGRY ROBBER, DAD AND MUM WERE

SICK OF ME, THEY CALLED IN A POLICEMAN, TO STAND OVER ME, AND IT WAS CLEAR FROM THAT DAY, THEY THOUGHT I WAS NEVER

CUT OUT TO BE LIKE THEM, I KNOW, I AM A MESSY KID AN ADULT, I TRIED TO BE NICE TO MUM AND DAD, BY WRITING STORIES OUT OF MY HEAD

AND I STARTED WRITING STORIES OF DESTRUCTION, DAD NEVER LIKED THOSE STORIES, AND TOLD ME, THESE STORIES AIN’T NICE, BUT, ME

I WAS WRITING STUFF OUT OF ME, THE CANBERRA CROWD, EVEN THE YOBBOS, ARE MORE SUPPORTIVE THAN MUM AND DAD, MUM HATED ME USING NAMES

DAD HATED DUDE USED IN STORIES, YOU SEE I CAN’T BE THE (QUOTEY FINGERS) SORT OF MAN, THAT THEY WANT ME TO BE, SURE I NEVER HAD ***

BUT IT WASN’T MUM AND IT WASN’T DAD, IT WAS I WAS GETTING A BAZ FROM KIDS, I AM NO PHEADPHILE OR MEN MY OWN AGE, I AM NOT GAY

I DO GET ERECTED ***** ON WOMEN, BUT MAINLY WITH KIDNAPPING THOUGHTS, AND I AM NO KIDNAPPER, AND BRIAN WAS SAYING ALL THIS STRAPPED TO A ROLLERCOASTER

GOING UP AND DOWN UP AND DOWN JUPITER, AND PAUL BERENYI, WAS ALSO SCARED, BUT SEEING HE WAS DEAD, HE DIDN’T HAVE TO REPASY HIS DEBT

YOU SEE PAUL BERENYI, KEPT TRYING TO GET THE POSTER FROM MY TV WEEK, AND ALSO HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER, ON AN AREA WHERE IT HURTS LIKE ANYTHING

AND HE SHOWED INTEREST IN A SCHOOL PROJECT, JUST TO PUT A DRAWING PIN UP MY ***, AND I HATED THAT, MIND YOU, IT DID STOP, BUT I DON’T WANT TO

START IT UP AGAIN, SO WHAT I AM DOING IS HELPING THE HOMELESS GET INTO HOMES, LIKE THE CANBERRA REX HOTEL AND TURN IT INTO HOMELESS HOTEL

AND PUT A BAR AND BISTRO, AS WELL AS DOCTORS AND DENTISTS AND LAUNDRY ROOMS ROUND THE CLOCK CLEANING CARE AND CHEAP ROOM SERVICE

AND AS OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS, TOOK PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN TO SYDNEY, AND CAUSE THOSE VIOLENT STORMS, THE WORST OF IT IS OVER

AND BRIAN’S KIDNAPPER IS DYING, AND PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN WENT BACK TO THE SUN, WILL THEY BE SAVED BY THE POWERS OF ATHENA

Ricky May singe at Jupiter Moon, the after life



You see I was a Maori, who suffered a heart attack
It was because I ate too much food, and I felt like ****
But then I found this place up here in the solar system
And everyone was cheering me on, as if I was really known
You ser I stopped to ask the crown, how do you know me
This was something that really puzzled me
But then I looked around and saw John Lennon
And Adam Walsh,and I said to him, it was terrible what they did to you
And I walked around and I spoke to this man
And he told me he was a victim of a car accident
I asked him, how he survived and he said back
I didn't and then he took me by the hand, and said to me
Noone on earth can see us now, cause now we are in the afterlife
You see my heart left my body quick
And I wanted that heart to stay
You see I ain't ready to go, there are so many games I like to play
So some people said, play with us, we are playing Rugby League or Union
And then after that we had a BBQ
Where the coach bought out some methane
And I had some, and I thanked him
Yes, I felt good about being in the afterlife
You see I am living in a cave in Jupiter
Where we can view earth. Through the eyes of our earth bodies, oh yeah we can
And I see my family in New Zealand, and see them doing so very fine
It made me unhappy till Graham Kennedy said
Life is not so bad up here, you should know that
Because, have been up here longer than me, in the afterlife
Just rock the afterlife till it stops, oh yeah

IN CHRISTMAS IN 1997, MY NANNA DIED, AND THE MESSAGE SHE SENT, TEASE BRIAN, CAUSE HE IS STILL

LIKE US, BECAUSE, IF BRIAN WAS REALLY THAT SMART, HE WOULD REALISE, THAT EVEN NOW WE ARE

PROTECTING HIM, YOU SEE MY NANNA, WANTED BRIAN TO FIND HER NEXT LIFE, BUT I AM SURE I HAVE FOUND HER

HERE, YOU SEE, BRIAN REALLY LIKED CHRIS PLAYING THE GUITAR, SO MY NANNA LEFT HER LIFE, TO TRY

AND FIND A WAY OFF THE OLD LADY IMAGE AND INTO THE YOUNG DUDE GUY IMAGE, IN HER CREATIVITY

YOU SEE MY NANNA, YA KNOW, WAS LOOKING OVER ME, YOU SEE, SHE USED TO KNIT, AND ****

AND AFTERWARDS, SHE MADE A CUP OF TEA, WELL MY NANNA IS NOW FROM THE YEAR 2000, NANNA

BECAME JOHN ROBERT RIMEL, YA KNOW HE PUT HIS STUFF ON YOU TUBE, YOU SEE MY NANNA IS

A YOUTUBE PARTNER, I KNOW HE IS MY NANNA’S REINCARNATION, BECAUSE, HE HAS THE SPITTING

IMAGE OF WHAT SHE VIEWED IN ME, OR WHAT SHE SAW IN MY DECEASED DAD, JOHN ROBERT RIMEL,

WHO WANTED TO **** THE OLD FOGIE THAT NANNY’S WORRYING CAUSED, AND MY NANNA GOT INTO

MY HEAD, SAYING, IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU TOLD YOUR FAMILY YOUR BELIEFS, LIKE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATIOB

BUDDY, AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOUR VOICES SAY, OK, I DIED, TO GET OUT OF THAT, NANNA SAID

AND NANNA, SAID, IF YOU WANNA DO MY LEGACY OF CREATIVE GENES, DON’T **** PEOPLE OFF, YOU

SEE MY NANNA JEAN ALLAN SAID, I AM JEAN ALLAN NO MORE, AND I PREFER TO BE YOUTUBE PARTNERS WITH

YOU BRIAN, AS MY NANNA SAID, THAT SHE IS JOHN ROBERT RINEL, A YOUTUBER LIKE BRIAN, AND MY NANNA

STILL WANTS THE VOICE OF PAT, ONLY BECAUSE, IF YOU REALLY CARED FOR THE POOR, EVEN FOR KIDS

IT’S EASY TO CARE, BUT MY NANNA GETS WEIRD VIBES FROM THAT, YOU SEE MY NANNA WAS SORT OF DOING THIS

TO GET CLOSER TO HER GRANDSON CHRIS, CAUSE, MY NANNA GIVES HER NEXT REINCARNTATION JOHN ROBERT RINEL

TO JAM WITH MY BROTHER OR HIS KIDS, BUT, HE LIKES TO BE IN THE HERE AND NOW, BUT NANNA RESPECTS THAT, BUT

THAT IS WHAT BUDDHA DOES, IS RESPECT, YOU SEE MY NANNA LIKE IS NOW A MUSICIAN, BUT NANNA HAS BEEN TEASING ME

SAYING, SHE ISN’T THE BOY IN ADELAIDE WHO SAVED THAT LADY, OR THAT RUNNER AT THE BELCONNEN GAME, NO, MY NANNA WAS

TEASING, TO SAY, OH NO, SHE WOULD DO THIS, LIKE BE RUNNER AT SPORTS EVENTS OR SAVE ADULTS, BUT MY NANNA, AND

IS JOHN ROBERT RINEL, SO SHE CAN MOVE ON, RATHER THAN BE A LITTLE OLD LADY WITH FLOPPY ARMS, SO MY NANNA SAID

YOU SIT THERE DOING YOUR TAPESTRY, BUT DON’T EXPECT ANYONE TO SMILE AT YOU, OR BETTER STILL, DON’T MUCK WITH YOU

IF YOU, FIND OUR REINCARNATIONS, OK, BRIAN ALLAN KNOWS PAUL BERENYI IS JACK VIDGEON, VIBE AT THAT CAROLS IN THE DOMAIN

AND DAD IS ELIZABETH ANN CAMPBELL, AND JEAN ALLAN IS JOHN ROBERT RINEL, BRETT EGGINS TOOK KIDNAP VICTIM, ADAM WALSH

UP TO REINCARNATE AS THE OLSEN TWINS, MARK JONES WAS STEVEN BRADLEY, WITH VOICES OF REINCARNATIION BOTHERING HIM

MARK DRANK COKE, BUT DID NOTHING ELSE, SO HE IS SUPER 3 YEAR OLD LIAM, FROM THE COKE, I DRINK COKE, BUT I WRITE STORIES

ABOUT MY REINCARNTIONS I WAS GREAME THORNE, PATRICK DUNBAR, A CAT AND A DOG, ALBERT WALDRON, A HOTEL PORTER AND CLEANER

GEORGE WASHINGTON BLACKBEARD THE PIRATE, ISABELLA OF FRANCE, THE 323 YEAR OLD MAN CRONUS HANSEL AND ST NICK, AND DANIEL MESSIAH

AND MY NANNA NOW IS REACHING ME FROM THE TOP, SAYING, NOW, MY NANNA IS JOHN ROBERT RINEL, THE REASON WHY I KNOW IT’S MY NANNA

BECAUSE I GET VIBES, YA SEE, MY NANNA WANTED TO BE MORE LIKE MY BROTHER, CAUSE SHE KNEW I DRINK, AND SHE WANTED ME TO OUT LIVE DAD

BUT I KNOW THE TRUTH, BUT I WANT TO KEEP IT ON THE INTERNET

JOHN ROBERT RINEL, YOU WERE MY NANNA WHO DIED IN 1997

BUT PLEASE. LET MY NANNA’S CREATIVE SPIRIT FLY OVER YOU, SHE KNITTED, YOU DO MUSIC ALL CREATIVE

YOU ARE THE NEXT GEN UP FROM MY NANNA, JUST THE REINCARNATION CREATIVITY

Not mine, but truly beautiful - and exactly how I believe things should be - not only love - but life, work, self-esteem, everything.

"Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s Plenty."
                        -Courtney A. Walsh

I'm a docder, pretty wizard, how d'ya like that?
I prescribe drugs, you just wear a pointy hat!
I ain't no Dr. Phil BS or Dr. Dre crap,
While you're busy casting spells, I'm savin' some poor old chap
Against me, you wouldn't stand a chance
I'm smarterer than you, and you just have a fancy stance
I'm a real life livin' docder
And you need me as a proctor
Just to drink some vodkar
And by now I bet you're wonderin' what ya just got in yer
Ya can't even rhyme
So why should I waste a single bit of my time
Fightin' with ma docder powers which are all so sublime
And here's a little gift
Before I shift
Back ta destroyin' all ya lyin'
Without even tryin'
It's a free little lesson
Better count it as a blessin'
Crap, wizard, that, warcraft and path
Don't rhyme, just do the math
And also by the way, you misspelled "WRATH!!!!!"
I can wear whatever I want, from my boots up to my hat
So, my little wizard, what d'ya think of that?
I can use anything, from a .50 cal to a bat
You just get a stick, and a stupid purple hat
I can eat 416 billion grams of fat
And cuz I'm a docder, I'd burn it off in nothin' flat
By just using a little brainpower to focus
All of my smartererness, against your hocus pocus  
You could never mess with me
Or either docder buddy,
Jedingaling and Murly
You'd leave so freakin early
If we started a beef
So just can it, and save yourself the grief
Against Walsh, you would flee
And as of now, he hasn't even got his docder PhD!
Unlike me!
Yeah, try every fancy trick
And poke me with a stick
A docder can take any pain,
From a puny little stick to a saw with a chain!
And then the docder'd turn around and use an attack
And your whole puny world would fade into black
You are done
I have just won
CUZ I'M A DOCDER, SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

static voices through the speaker
our monitors are beacons
guiding us through schooldays to each and every weekend
hack smoke
crack jokes
art room artifice & insubordination
I'll retrogress

daniel pederson has trapped brian allan all his life


you since the day when daniel pederson ******* cameron goon to the

school bubbler, he thought, it’ll be cool to die and trap brian allan and

everyone that knows him, to stop this little kidnapping yourself battle

and daniel’s spirit tied brian up to his bed, but then he met brendan and

was a great friend to patrick, and daniel’s spirit wasn’t strong for patrick

but he tied brian and brendan up, and forcing that little jingle, kidnap briaqn and kidnap

brendan, keep brian and brendan in their cages and also kidnapped brian from the

allan clan, when he made brian nick $50 from a drunk, not giving a **** about

the welfare of the drunk, and daniel pederson has forced phedaphiles to ******

kids, even forcing robert hughes to sexually ****** the girls on hey dad, and

made brian feel good about teasing cameron with his dripping water all over cameron goon

and got in the mind of osama bin laden and the bali bombers, saying, destroy that *****, brian allan’s world

to the ground, daniel pederson destroyed people’s lives when he got in the mind of the american ******

and forced brian to yell out to the ****** to get his mate patrick, but nobody listened, and also

forced the kidnapper to grab daniel morecombe as well as holly wells and jessica chapman, and

daniel wanted to get a bit closer to brian’s home, forcing anthony and barry to **** themselves and

forcing mark jones to die as well, and while this was happening, brian started working at LEAD and

daniel was forcing brian to tie himself up, so cameron goon can enjoy life, because he deserves beer

and don’t tell me that daniel pederson got rid of carla and scott mcdonald and paul berenyi, keeping

them all safely with him, and might i add, jack vidgeon was given a death threat and my eldest niece

had a nightmare, which i can guarantee she had her heart pulled out, well, daniel pederson has destroyed

brian’s life, making it harder to work in helping people jobs, with one day brian feared he will be kidnapped

by the young poor people, and this was driving brian allan completely crazy, ya know brian developed schizophrenia,

and daniel pederson who was steven bradley in his last life really enjoyed himself, torturing brian allan, who was greame thorne

and now, brian is battling in this world, feeling he isn’t wanted by anyone, and as he sits there in his house, brian yells out

LEAVE ME ALONE DANIEL PEDERSON, i don’t deserve any of this crap, you see brian will work, but as he gets sick

and taken to the psych ward, he forgets about all the help he does, and now daniel pederson has brian trapped in the cage

of life, and daniel is still trying to beat brian allan at everything, by making him feel like he is too stupid for anything

and now, daniel pederson has trapped william tyrell, because brian likes kids and got in brian’s mind to think

that he is like this ICE sufferer who killed phil walsh,, and brian said, if you ask me, daniel pederson is asking for trouble

in everything he does, what we must do is force ourselves away from the daniel/stephen virus and not **** ourselves, ok

not force ourselves to be trapped, but daniel pederson is so devious and cunning, he won’t lose.

Tyler Clemente: age 18.
Billy Lucas: age 15.
Harrison Chase Brown: age 15.
Cody J. Parker: age 17.
Seth Walsh: age 13.

who gave you the right to judge these boys?
It's pretty ****** sad.
You think you're a clean-cut, all-American,
but you really ain't so clean.

I hope she sees herself the way I see her
Because I see an amazing woman who has overcome everything
And she doesn't always believe it but she is my everything
I could never be content with anyone else
She lifts me up and helps me see the light
I would fight till I die just to make her mine forever
And if I get the chance to be her forever I swear I will not disappoint
I was always told that good things come to those who wait and all I've ever done is wait
And now she is here and it's real
I would watch movies about great love stories and think that they were full of ****
But now I have my own
How did I go from having nothing to quickly having my whole world right next to me
She is the greatest piece of this universe that I could ever find
I tell her everyday that I'm her's forever
And even after forever I'm still her's
I look at her and the world around me quickly fades into a blur and she is the only clear thing
The only thing that makes total sense in a life that is constantly changing
And when I doubt myself she comes in full force with reassurance and a smile
Because she knows confidence doesn't come easy and we've both been down that road
How can I even explain her properly
She is like walking into the sunlight after being trapped in the shade
She is a night sky full of stars without anything to block it's breathtaking beauty
She is the voice in my head telling me to keep going
She is the finish line after every race I have to run
The winning shot at the buzzer and the crowd cheers but I am the lucky one
The one who gets to look over and know that she is all I want
And how could someone ever ask for more when you are given nothing but perfection
Being happy with you is like finding a golden ticket
You never think it will happen but when it does, it changes your life forever.
I found my golden ticket
My one true love
Amberlyn Walsh

Sneakers tied liked bunny ears
and ponytails tucked under helmets,  
my sister and I ride our pink and green bicycles
a quarter mile down the road from our house.
We pause at the gate to read the sign but don’t enter.
We ride further to take the back way,
Racing on the gravel path to be the first down the hill.
As we pedal on the now smooth, intertwining pathways,
we speed past Thomas Walsh and his wife, Louise.
We circle around baby Alex and little Marie.
The green grass alive and flourishing, and
the sun shining on our young, sweaty faces.
We keep our distance when we notice a car,
so we don’t disturb them—
this place is not ours alone.
But as soon as they leave we race again.
The wind flying past our faces—
we imagine this is what sticking
your head out a car window feels like.
After twenty minutes we grow tired and decide to leave,
but not without saying goodbye
to Colonel Andrew D. Walker.
He died the day I was born.

The after life part 3



After sending all of the souls to their next lives, Cronus had this 37 year old male who weighed 152 kg who passed out in the shower and cut his head on the shower **** which was the hot water **** and he yelled out
**** ME DEAD and nobody heard him because he lived alone and it wasn’t till his colleagues from volunteer work noticed him missing
He probably would be there for ages without anyone noticing him and he did die though but the hospital tried to revolve him but failed and as he entered the after life, Cronus said what life would you like to be in your next life and he said I was 152 kg and I was fucken suffering and nobody would give me a job and I was quite often being yelled at by other poor people and if I came back I want to be well away from any poor people even if I was Rupert Murdoch’s child, it would be better than being yelled at by poor people and Cronus said yes I understand but being with Rupert might not happen but I could give you to a family in a rich area and then the 152 kg man said yes I want my parents to look out for me rather than being drinkers and not caring too much about me, and Cronus said you need to be independent when you grow up and able to look after your own health because I prefer for people to try and gain independence as they get older and whereabouts do you want to live (what country) and he said maybe the USA but not with Donald trump or any other politician because I want my parents to help me and look after me as a child ok and then he spoke to Buddha who had earth cam tv on to see which lady’s womb you want to enter and the 152 kg man who was Phil checked and chose the right one for him and then was told by Athena that his weight will put pressure on his next life and you might need to look after your health a bit but try and do things you want to do though and good luck and after he left to have a few methane smoothies
Cronus was with Tim Walsh who died in a car accident by hitting a child and him and the child were killed instantly and the child’s name was Johnny brown who was 8 and he was scared as Cronus told him he was dead and yelled at Tim saying there is no way I am living with you because it will take a long time for me to notice I am no longer with mummy and daddy and Tim said, I am really sorry and Johnny said you should be going 40km past schools and there is no way you were going at that and Tim begged for Cronus to listen to him because he was drunk and Cronus said well yes being drunk is wrong especially when you get behind the wheel and Johnny said Cronus, send him to HELL and Tim said no, I want to go to the USA because I have never been there and my parents promised me we would go and they died when I was 13 and I lived in an orphanage for 5 years because none of my other family members wanted me and Johnny said no excuses and Cronus said to Johnny whereabouts do you want to go in your next life and Johnny said not the USA because I want to be away from Tim ok maybe Russia I love the people I met from there and Cronus sent Johnny to Athena for a soul check and went for a methane smoothie with Tim to try and explain that Johnny just doesn’t want to have died at his age and Tim said yes, I understand him and I feel for him but I think death calms me, I might not have thought that way if I didn’t die
And I hope I don’t do the same in future lives and I always thought we went to heaven and Cronus said we are in nirvana at the moment but you need an earth body to improve the universe and Tim said take me to the states as a girl because I want to learn about girls and why they care more about looks more than guys and Johnny went to the jumping castle in Jupiter and Tim went to see Athena for a soul check to learn about what he has to do in his next life in the USA and then he went to Saturn to party hardy won’t starty