transient and feeling free
this whole world belongs to me

it's my bridge, the one i cross
it's my path, the one i walk
i don't own a single thing
except a host of memories

The moon curves
As do my lips
In this satisfaction
You can’t give or take away

It’s the richness of the music in my ears
The brightness of the light in my eyes
Nothing to do with you
And everything to do with me

Nothing cuts to the pit of my stomach
More than the betrayal of the people I trust
Of everyone who's hurt me
Yours is the worst

You neglected to tell me what was going on in your lives
The most important things
You left me out and expected me not to care
Do you even know how much you mean to me?

For my months of pain, you were there
The only ones
And I let you know how amazing that was
As often as I got the chance

Now that it's over
I feel like I've lost more than friends
I've lost the people who'd come to be family
And the wounds reopen every night I spend
Without you

I’m looking for a new reason to live
So while I do it, I’ll cling to the tried and true
Even as I move beyond them…

I’m remembering how to be alone
And do everything I’ve thought about
All the random **** that somehow satisfies…

Then I return to the ones who’ve been there inexplicably
Who know that’s all there is
To figure it out and then get confused again….

Walking along the ridge between two mountains
The air is cool and crisp, and everything that leaps up to get me
Falls to one side or the other
I grow lither, stronger, sleeker, with every step
My voice strengthens and develops new tones, new depth
As I try to sing over the wind
Only I can hear, but I’m safe and comfortable
As I get better and better
I love it here
Amongst the clouds,
Whose vaporous and vague substance
Can sustain me on a diet of airy water
Always available to carry me along
Through the nebulous but constant
Sky.

And the night that falls
Makes me think of all the lights to grab for
The short time I have
The multitude of choices
The renewal
After the pacing movements
And swirling thoughts
Of day
When I look ahead
Knowing I’ll see everything if I keep walking
But the uniform trees and rocks
Obscure the view, keep it secret
I’ll keep stepping
My strides and voice enough to entertain me forever
As they would were I in the wild
I think the wild is here…..
Within and all around me

Long nights
Moments that never end
Always wanting to be one of the guys
To be comfortable in my own skin

I'm learning how to be friends
Amidst the fear of attachment
To people I don't want to
Traumatically lose again

But with all the doors open
Flinging more open everyday
I welcome more in
And let the feelings out

I'm so afraid to live
But I'm not afraid to die
I think that's what lets me
Be so reckless. Brave?

I'll still keep on moving
So I don't lose
Sometimes I might decide
To let others win

Win my trust, respect
Maybe my loyalty
And other things, but
Probably not my love.

I haven't seen you in so long,
But you were the one
Who introduced my body and mind
To that rich pleasure
That is being with
A beautiful soul.

You ripped the feelings up
And in someone who didn't know
That's how one could feel
You made my sense of self collapse
As I orbited around you.

First you'd gently stroke my hair
Then you kissed my forehead
The first time I hung out with you
You drew me into your mysterious world
Of words that hummed with knowledge
Of movements that burned with lust
Of confidence that held me speechless
And eyes that promised more.

You'd press those kisses into me
You'd grip me with no intent to let go
You pulled me into your sad world
Of feelings that you'd never release
Of pain you'd internalized
Of desperation in all you'd do
And a smile that rose above it.

Your words were soon abandoned
For a more hands-on approach.
You'd let me know what you wanted to say with
The things that you'd do.

I loved you, I know that now.
You were so strange and tempting.
There was no 'us'
Only the desire to be around you.
I needed no explanation,
No reason to see you
Other than you.