I have a disability
Because it is lack of memory
Others refuse to accept it is
The way my mind shall be
After testing my memory
The PhD of Neuropsychology
Agreed that I suffer with
Cognitive impairment, MCI
My forgetfulness is here to stay
With me until I die
Yes, I can exercise my brain
It may help a bit, still I will forget
So just accept it!! PLEASE QUIT
Telling me to exercise my brain
I know my limitations best, oh Yes!
Everyone telling me to try to remember is really what
Drives me insane!!!
I have tried my hardest everyday
For years I have been fooling You
All in so many ways!
Now the truth has escaped
It is a relief, I must say
I am so tired of  playing
The main role on the stage
Every single day!!
Please, all of you quit telling me
To exercise my memory
If this was happening to you,
God forbid, then perhaps you
Would understand me when I say
I am tired, oh so tired, of striving
for just an ounce of memory
Day after day!!!!
So again I say
Please, just let me be Me!
The Ole' lady with memory disability
THIS IS ME, ₩€ND¥°•°°•°•°°•°•°°•°•°°•°•°

I Have sustained
Healing of my brain
Yet, I have come to terms
With so much more
realization that I am not
In control
Jesus gave His life
on this earth
To save my soul
Thank you Jesus
For all you've done
Thank You Father
For sacrificing Your Son
I finally see
That He is the
True matter to me

POETRY PSYCHOLOGY
Delves into the deepest realms
inside of me
It opens my mind
Makes me see
Life, good and bad
All meant to be
Write those poems
If it eases the pains
It will lead onto the next terrain
Give Peace to sustain
POETRY PSYCHOLOGY

In your madness you do not see,
your hatred does not lie in me.
Spite and jealousy is where it
derives from.
To you true peace cannot come.
If only you could open your heart
and truly see, God has released
your stress from me!
Honey, when you give the Lord
control you too will feel
true peace inside your soul!!!

When I was young I wrote poetry to analyze my life.
I felt I had to question everything to figure out what's right.
(Now I know there's no such thing as right & wrong)
Then life got busy, I had children, parties, sports
life became a routine of sorts.
  My Passion, poetry seemed to drift away,
occasionally, I dreamed I had time for it to stay.
I felt as though I had become mature, it was something
I should have outgrown.  The Lord kept the passion deep in
my heart, one day to be shown.
  Then one day a terrible accident occurred to me.
I was T-***** by an F-150.  
I believe it was meant to be!
  Yes, it brought me into a new land of torture and
Oh, so much pain,
10 broken ribs, ruptured spleen and my pelvis was fractured in 7 places,
but truly it does come to gain!
No, I did not receive a dollar amount or any kind of pride.
I did truly realize my loved ones are always by my side.
  I had many days and nights to lay still, in pain, and
realize my painful blessings in life are a true gain.
  I did not think about poetry
I laid there in pain.
At that point I did well just to sustain.
  Then I started feeling spells of Deja vu,
yet, they lasted even longer than I would ever have wanted them too.
  This went on and on for quite a few years.
Many months after all of my bones miraculously healed
I consulted with Doctors who gave me meds that led me to tears.
During this time, fear began to grow in my veins,
it grew so strong, I felt I could not sustain
Then I started to have Grand Mal seizures, at last!
I know, it sounds like I'm happy about that, well,
at least I finally knew what had been happening in the past.
  I found an awesome neurologist at UT Southwest,
references said, he is the best.
  I felt like a lab rat when they set me up in a room,
put a camera upon me for days on zoom.
the point was to see what part of the brain was damaged.
To see if there was any way possible to get the seizures managed.
Electrodes were placed all over my brain, camera, recording, and an I.V. of fluid to sustain.
They took me off all those seizure meds and shined strobe lights
in my eyes, to promote seizures in my brain.
  My husband and my son were there by my side,
I was scared to death, yet I still had pride.
I did not want them to see, what was about to happen to me.
  My husband stepped out to eat some food and I was relieved
because anger was building and I was rude!
My son said he had to go study for his exam in college and I
was relieved, I did not want him to see me lose my mind, for I know that is what happens when I have a seizure every time!
He looked at me in my eyes and said "Mother, can I pray for you
before I go, because God is the only one who can save you and this I know." He said a prayer right then and there. He gave me a message toward God you see, and that is just where I need to be. Then he left to go study and the Holy Spirit joined me.
  My husband came back and I sent him home. I told him there was nothing he could do and I should be alone. I told him to turn out
the lights as he left, kissed him goodnight and said sweetdreams.
  The fear I had gently lifted away as he closed the door, I began to pray. I asked Jesus to be with me and for forgiveness of sins and I felt a
wave of Peace rise from within.
It felt as if I was lifted by a warm blanket all around and the fear of seizures left without a sound.
  I had 9 severe seizures on camera that night, I don't remember it all, but I'm sure the ones watching had quite a site.
  The outcome was that I was a great candidate for temporal lobe surgery, which I had six months later and it has cured me!!!!!!!!!
  BACK TO THE POINT that motivated this long poem,
my mind has completely changed!!!!
Now I see life optimistically, it's  a wonderfully, joyous experience,
even the ruff stuff, I HAVE TO EXPRESS GLEE

At times people in this life
Are quite petty, full of spite
Why can't they open their
Hearts and their eyes
Reach acknowledgement
That to make others suffer
Is not so contrite
Turn acts of hatred into love
Put others first
Find selfishness and spite
Are useless emotions, no need to always be right
Masterfully human nature
Can strive to rise above
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1Peter 4:8-9
Above all keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Christmas used to be a time of fun
As I age my eyes have opened
I am no longer waiting for a present
I'm waiting for my Saviour to come

In my heart I truly know
I will be the one to go
To meet The Saviour
There will be a day
Until then I must pray

He speaks to me each
And every day
Through His Spirit
If I truly give
Him my all
When I pray

Patience ia a virtue
You see
Give Him your faith
You will be set free

I do not know what I need
God, I bow to You
On my knees and plead
For Your quest in me
To be fullfilled
Your love for me is forever sealed

Human spirit cannot be
Satisfied
Our selfishness, we tend
To justify

Help me Heavenly Father
Give You all control
You are the nourishment
Of my soul

I am not saying Christmas
Cannot be fun
Let us not let go
Of our Father's Son
True happiness it
Will come

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, To my Grandson Tedy
How I dream of holding your hand
A true blessing Our Father has sent me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, sweet little man
Your Granny Winnie may reside so far away
Yet, her heart is yours each and every day
In my prayers you will always stay
My Grandson enjoy celebration on this wondrous day.
~~~~~~~~~HAPPY BIRTHDAY

WALKING THRU THE STREETS IN VEGAS TODAY.
QUITE AN ADVENTURE TO OBSERVE SO MANY DIFFERENT CULTURES AT PLAY!!
MY BRAIN MUST BE MUNDANE
IT DOES NOT TAKE MUCH FOR ME TO BE ENTERTAINED.

S O R  R O W
O P E  E N H
L E V  L  E O
I  N E  I  N L
T S  R N  E E
U    E  Q  S    
D    N  U S      
E    C   I          
      E   S        
           H
           I
           N
           G

I have epilepsy
It did not go away
Temporal lobe surgery
Reduced seizure accuracy
Without medication they will come back to stay
I have epilepsy
This I have to say
To live in denial
Will cause self decay
I have epilepsy
Every single day
It is a disease that I carry
That will not go away
I have epilepsy
The conclusion I must face TODAY
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray
The joyous comfort I have found is to pray!

It is ever the Holy Spirit’s work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan’s work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, “Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus.” All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that “Christ is all in all.” Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee—it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument—it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by “looking unto Jesus.” Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.

“My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness:

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.”

How much stress are you carrying around? Do you feel burdened by life's circumstances and emotional issues? Becoming more grounded and happy starts with letting go of worry and stress. I learned this in my own journey, through overcoming drug addictions, healing myself from depression, and walking away from a career in corporate to follow my heart and be a successful writer and life coach. In the process, I had to let go of a lot of things to become the person I am today.

Physically, spiritually and emotionally, I had to learn how to let go of the person I thought I should be in order to be the person I really wanted to be. Letting go of anything in life can be a little scary, but it can also be an amazing act of self-love.

Letting go of my worries and stress made a difference for me; of course I still dip in and out of some of my stress jar from time to time, but I've found this list a good reminder of what I need to strive for each day in order to reach unlimited happiness.

Here are 20 things to let go of in order to reach unlimited happiness.

1. Let go of all thoughts that don't make you feel empowered and strong.

2. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.

3. Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.

4. Let go of regrets; at one point in your life, that “whatever" was exactly what you wanted.

5. Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you don't want.

6. Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life. If you don't like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it.

7. Let go of thinking you are damaged; you matter, and the world needs you just as you are.

8. Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart.

9. Let go of being the “go-to person" for everyone, all the time; stop blowing yourself off and take care of yourself first … because you matter.

10. Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you.

11. Let go of thinking there's a right and wrong way to do things or to see the world. Enjoy the contrast and celebrate the diversity and richness of life.

12. Let go of cheating on your future with your past. It's time to move on and tell a new story.

13. Let go of thinking you are not where you should be. You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.

14. Let go of anger toward ex lovers and family. We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesn't mean the love was wrong.

15. Let go of the need to do more and be more; for today, you've done the best you can, and that's enough.

16. Let go of thinking you have to know how to make it happen; we learn the way on the way.

17. Let go of your money woes — make a plan to pay off debt and focus on your abundance.

18. Let go of trying to save or change people. Everyone has her own path, and the best thing you can do is work on yourself and stop focusing on others.

19. Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding.

20. Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you!

I have these spells of tiredness
I feel I just would rather not exist
Don't jump to the conclusion of suicide
That is a humanistic depression ride

I mean I just want to float away
As if I was a particle of dust astray
Float to a existance of peace, you see
where no one tells their problems to me

I am mostly a caring one
Yet, I too am human
I need to have fun!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is how I started my day
I was under cloudy skies
Even though I knew I had promised my friends
At the nursing home I would be there to play

I dug myself out on my way
For the promises I make are meant to stay
I was driving to my mission, when
I realized tomorrow is Valentines Day
So I stopped at the store to get candy
To be cupids love display :~)

When I showed up at the nursing home
I started to share candy with my friends
It was as though my tiredness had come to an end

Listening to their complaints
Didn't seem to be so sad
It was as if the rain above
Had turned into a rainbow
Life was not so bad!!!!

When they looked in my eyes
As they complained, you see,
I could feel gratification
And their love for me

I came to a realization
That being the one
To tell your troubles too
"Is as good for me as it is for you"

So next time it rains
I won't complain

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by

Tempted and tried, I wondered why
The good man died, the bad man thrives
And Jesus cries because he loves em' both
We're all cast-aways in need of ropes
Hangin' on by the last threads of our hope
In a house of mirrors full of smoke
Confusing illusions I've seen

Where did I go wrong, I sang along
To every chorus of the song
That the devil wrote like a piper at the gates
Leading mice and men down to their fates
But some will courageously escape
The seductive voice with a heart of faith
While walkin' that line back home

So much more to life than we've been told
It's full of beauty that will unfold
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son
That deadweight burden weighs a ton
Go down into the river and let it run
And wash away all the things you've done
Forgiveness alright

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by

Still I get hard pressed on every side
Between the rock and a compromise
Like the truth and pack of lies fightin' for my soul
And I've got no place left go
Cause I got changed by what I've been shown
More glory than the world has known
Keeps me ramblin' on

Skipping like a calf loosed from it's stall
I'm free to love once and for all
And even when I fall I'll get back up
For the joy that overflows my cup
Heaven filled me with more than enough
Broke down my levee and my bluff
Let the flood wash me

And one day when the sky rolls back on us
Some rejoice and the others fuss
Cause every knee must bow and tongue confess
That the son of god is forever blessed
His is the kingdom, we're the guests
So put your voice up to the test
Sing Lord, come soon

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by
JOSH GARRELS

Mhmm...
Mhmm... yea!
Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah yeah mm... mhmm

Mhmm... mhmm...
Mhmm... yea! yeah
Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah mm mm, mhm

Hey, yea-yea, yeah-eh-yeah-eh, yeah-eh-yeah-eh
Hey hey-yea-eh yeah, mhmm

Professional or beginner doesnt matter
Every sinner is a prisoner in a body that is subject to time
Now my entwined mind tries to form a straight line
not like twised scoliosis of the spinal chord

Construct
Cross eyed carpenters are cuttin' crooked lines
Can't construct
man-made shrines when the winds and the water move sands of time

Many minds on a deadline, yet live life like a live wire
I'm not tired!
Of blood and fire
Spirit's moving higher than the green grass ever lifted me

Spirit's moving higher...
Than anything else ever lifted you
Mm, see

We got spirituality
It's living in us like one in three
Injustice is concerning me
in the non-linear eternity
I'm speaking paradoxically
but you can nod your head now when you understand me-e-e-ee...

This is for my free men
whose backs wont bend in the lions den
now with their eyes on the ending

This is for my free women!
They fight with their love
The bearers of our children

Free men whose backs wont bend in the lions den
now with their eyes on the ending

This is for my free women
They fight with their love
The bearers of our children

We shine like lights exposing
what lies underneath decomposing
Unearth those chains that are rusted
my sweet Lord, is that what i trusted in?
That sin? That tomfoolery? Ugh!
What it is is mental jewelery that I adorned myself with

The enemy's gifts, the man-made myths, the ignorant bliss
of marijuana spliffs and alchoholic fifths
I got so sick and tired of it

Delivered and redeemed
by christ i mean
It's time to start livin'
and get a reason for the rhyme

I dont wanna be dead-wrong on the deadline
Standing on the dark side and all out of time...
Like a blind pantomime's fantasize
climb up his own ladder to the sunshine

Nothin's mine
that hasn't been given
No one's alive here
that hasn't been risen
For 19 years i was trapped in a prison

Feeding my escape by means of derision
but every man-made attempt just failed
when trapped in a jail
of my own guilt, shame, and iniquity

I was looking for freedom
How'd I find freedom?

Oh! Oh, freedom...
from all of this

He said believe
He said believe

Who are you telling me to belei-e-eve... yea
'Said I'm the Christ

Oh!
...he said I'm the Christ

So I believed.

Freedom!

Mhmm... yea
Mhmm... ey!
Mhmm... ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah yeah eh, mhmm

Mhmm... Hey! No, no no
Mhmm... yea!
Mhmm... Yea ey-yeah-ey yeah yeah mhm,

Nah na-na-nah

Thanks to God for my Redeemer,
Thanks for all Thou dost provide!
Thanks for times now but a memory,
Thanks for Jesus by my side!
Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime,
Thanks for dark and stormy fall!
Thanks for tears by now forgotten,
Thanks for peace within my soul!!!

I think I have written something similar to this before but here she is again just a knocking at my brains door!!!!

HEADACHE, HEADACHE......
.................. GO AWAY!!!!!!
I'VE TAKEN SEVERAL
REMEDIES°•°°•°•°•°
YET STILL YOU STAY!
AM I MISSING A MESSAGE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO SAY?
HEADACHE, HEADACHE.........
YOU WILL NEVER BE MY FRIEND!
I DO NOT LIKE THE GAMES
YOU PLAY¤¤¤¤¤¤°•
SO I PRAY○♡○
TO THE LORD FOR THIS
HEADACHE, HEADACHE.........
TO FOREVER
~~~~~~~~~GO AWAY°•°•°•°•°•
AMEN

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found
The same old fears.
Wish you were here