Everyone was outside
They wouldn't notice if we were missing
You pushed me into the empty room
and quietly shut the door
click
The door locked
And there was no getting out

I'm the rock
At the edge of the water
Who sits there
Relentlessly
While the waves crash over me
Changing me
Wearing me
Breaking me
Until I am no more
Then I'm carried out to sea
Lost and gone forever

I like to trace the outlines of the cuts
I like to stare at what I've done
Not in awe
Not because I'm proud of it
(and trust me, I'm not)
But because it seems so surreal
When you've become dead inside
It's the last thing that lets you know
You're still human
You're not completely numb
There is still hope
You just have to keep trying
You will find it
*(But I can tell you it won't be in the blood you spill)

The first time I didn't mean to make the cut
I heard dad's bedroom door open
I had the razor blade halfway apart
He couldn't see
So I fumbled
I was already shaking
and it slipped
scrape
across my thumb
The blood poured out, and I panicked
I couldn't feel anything though
It was numb
And after he left
Watching the blood pool out was....
satisfactory
I thought of everything that's gone wrong lately
And I brought up those dark feelings
After the blood ran dry
I picked up the blade
And began to hack away at my thigh
Each bit with a stinging pain
But satisfaction all the same
Relief like no other
A secret almost as dark as the one that bides me to do this
I didn't mean to fall this deep
But the blade wants more...
And I'm not one to stop it

I like to lay in the dark
Until I remember it terrifies me
I like to think of you
Until I remember that you're gone
And I like to go back to the places we used to go
Stand in the same exact places
Relive our old conversations in my mind
Until I remember you
Won't be there
And you never will be again
Oh how I messed up

I'm growing desperate
I'm reaching out
You're my last hope
Don't give up on me now

Know that what
You did is impossible to forgive, even though I still
Love you, have you
Ever thought of the pain you caused? Or the destruction you left in your wake?