pick up my pen, and start to write
breathe in the stars, strum a tune to the sky
still my heart, spend my time
free as the wind rushing through the pines

All I've got   is this song of mine
to help me walk    these yellow lines .

've gotten lost so many times
rivers and roads, and mountains to climb
hop a freight,  stick out a thumb or fly a sign
still so many places to go, but calling Here, "home" for tonight

Made a right hand turn in Witchita
met a guy named 'wrong turn' and headed back to the bar
woke up in Austin, slept in a van
sang "happy birthday to me" and got drunk again

******* second hand air through the countryside
busking here and there, (I'm) just along for the ride
traded time for a place that smelled like ****
loaded up the band, here we go again

Lost my mind,  a little I know,
pieces of me scattered up and down the road
some left in Georgia's July, others off the coast on an acid hike

........

Raged a bit too hard last night,
tried to destroy anything of meaning in life
Everything will **** you, I suppose,
sooner or later it's how we all go .

I walked out to question the dark blue deep
I stared and listened, and I swear she answered me

A distant bell clangs across the harbor, the masts stand naked and tall
Sun beat down as morning brings light to kiss away the dark

Gulls fan and float, gazing down beyond the boats
Along the boardwalk, bicycles pedal and streak

Riggings hold tight great masters of sea
where teal waters gleam

The wind pushes her face against the shore, and she slaps the rocks (till the wind back off)
and in the quiet, she talks to me once more

Your words are just words,
empty airborne promises
Mind not matching where your heart is at,
sleeping here like walruses

Not far from a hide-a-bed, I
write down things that should be said
Transposing from inside my head,
pen and paper falls like lead

Wishing we could be
something we're not  instead
Things inside were kinda dead
from open wounds already bled

My mind, it goes from black to red
(and) I'll leave here again someday,
... But not today

The lier and the thief come undone
their shackles are my own
All the scars that could be known
from all the fighting that's been done
Sweat,
like sanity,
  slipping down the side of his face
    (Washed in grace)

I've reached my peak and I've gone past
feeling like I'm falling fast
Fleeting times of good and bad
nothing ever lasts

Spent miles alone and sad
broken bones, you signed my cast
Forgotten hate and had a blast
took the wheel and we still crashed

Wrote about my long lost Dad
went back to the bar for another glass
Realized that I'm still mad
made penance and had daily bread

Now I'm starting to get fat
Regretting the Life
   I still
    Never had

While trying to write a poem, called "Love is a road"
Here's a rap instead, that I just wrote

Through the quiet and the thicket
where the trees grow the thickest,
Across from brewery-bars
diving deep in the midst of

Trafficking cars searching for a train
so I can rest in peace
Defying my language as I
redefine my speech

The crowd before the storm
calm before the scream
I'm high once again
putting some ground beneath my feet

Back to what I'm after
the howl and the screeeech!
Across the square
down from Austin street

I look at audio
like it's Gold
Be sure and take a picture
see you after the show

Hear that train whale
and hold you both close
You and me forever in stitches
laughing as it blows

"Love is a Road"
that's what I'm told
Take the highway fast
or less traveled slow and low

Before I have a brain aneurysm
and my body strokes
The microphone seizes up
and I start to choke

I look around and I see so many
people without a home (no where to go)
Sleeping just down the street from folks
with money to blow

But hey, I should stop talking
cause I don't know
What it's like to have ****..
i've always been broke

I... Recollect times past, to nullify my current state,
to back when peace shimmered our harbor, warm and safe.
My... Misleading memories of honesty, truth, and faith,
sincere and fortunate light sequester, life displaced.

In-the... Deep midst of my being, deluged a swamp of mossy lace,
troubled body of trembling thought, gasping for escape.
Heard... “Open yer eyes boy... I don't wanna ya to swallow yer tongue.”
That's when someone else decided, that I'd had "enough."

Saved... from freedoms of chaos, and now the allure of death,
for catheter and plastic gown, none by request.
How... many beats per minute will my cardiogram play?
How long must I be plugged in, before I get away?..

I'll... likely be spitting gray chalk for the next week or more,
I know these things because, I've been through this all before.
There's such a... cluttering of whispers, that they all try to hide,
when nurses talk about me, they mention “suicide.”

There's... Nurses, and doctors, all hoping I'll pull through,
not one will treat the failure, of who lie in I.C.U.
Next week... We'll identify problems, bits of understanding,
how many groups and puzzles to take, to ease
                                                                        my landings.

I picked up this ol' guitar
a couple of years ago,
and just started walking
when I had nowhere to go.

Don't know where I'm headed,
I don't wanna join no band,
but I'll see the end of every road
before I die, if I can.

Somewhere down this road I'm on,
someone's feelin' just as alone,
and if I sing loud enough,
this could be more than "Just a song."

[guitar solo]

Now I seen friends and lovers,
and children all pass away,
I felt like an old man
at the age of 28.

When I get to feelin' lonely
and wishing for the life I had,
I sit down on the corner,
strum a while and put out a hat.

I don't know no "Jesus,"
but if you a prayin' man,
put in a good word for me,
wish God 'ould help this traveling man.

[very short music break]

Now I aint say all this for pity,
I don't need nothin' from you.
But somewhere out there's someone
feelin' like I do.

Somewhere down this road I'm on
someone's feeling just as alone,
and if I sing loud enough
this could be more than just another song.

© All Rights Reserved , Patrick W. Hamilton , 04-24-2015

I sat down today to write you a letter
I wanted to explain how I'm never better

Since you went away, my whole life has changed
I miss seeing your face. Do ya ever hear me calling out your name?
Ever since we lost that day, I've never been better

...Can't stop the way I get so sad
over silly little things, like how you'd call me "Dad"

I write songs and play, and things are coming along okay
but it haunts my night and day, and I'm never better

I hate to go on this way
So I picked up my guitar to play
and tell myself the truth, that I'm never [ever, ever, ever] better

My heart is an open wound
that bleeds ink from pen to page

I'm writing this tune
hoping you'll hear it someday

It may not explain all that I have to say
Just know that since you've been away... I'm never better




I sat down today
                              to write you a letter .

Making my way down the road
in a story yet to unfold
Dogs started barking, so I sat down
and kicked off my shoes

Stranger say, "Boy ya carry quite  load"
is the journey worth it's weight in gold?
So I picked up my guitar
and started singing the blues
----------------------------------------------------

I been on this road so long,
can't remember quite where it began.
I held on this guitar so hard,
now it's my only friend.

Well, I been ramblin' up and down,
trying to find an end.
I aint been Home
sense I can't remember when.
-------------------------------------------------
Been all over this country, coast to coast,
more times than I can count.
Playin' guitar, drinkin' and a fussing,
trying to find my way out.

I started out at the bottom, not a penny to my name,
and let the world do their best.
I came here with nothing,
and I still got most of it left.

There's a man outside the window
in faded blue jeans,
He's spun a web of lies and
deceit I aint never seen.

>Finger nail clippings and old emails
    Watching the world go 'round
>Angels like fireflies
   Watching the world go down

There's a woman outside the window
in a faded flannel gown,
She's not much to look at
when you're lookin' down.

>Angels like fireflies
  Can you tell sky, from ground?
>Carnival rides for cash pay-out
  And I'm watching the room spin 'round
...
"gas station guy" is gone now
bars hold the only light.
and if I'm lucky (through singin' here,
we can just call it a night.

>Angels like fireflies
  Can you tell sky, from ground?
>Dusty strings on this old guitar
  & It's time to turn around

7 minutes to midnight
in this old town.
When I'm done playing here,
probably never see me around

She pasted memories, to look back on later,
to little scraps of colored paper.
Placed in a book, wrapped up in ribbon,
laid on the shelve in plain sight hidden.

Photos of family, and picture show stubs,
all the little things that reminded her of
  the times before we all were grown.
  In that big empty house, it didn't feel so alone
     with those neatly arranged, to smile at later,
      carefully laid tinny scraps  of colored paper .


Every page told a story of her life,
years that sometimes escaped her mind.
Children, grandchildren, all were there,
when she forgot a name, she'd sit and stare.
  Her mind, she knew, was almost gone,
  but with that little scrap book, life would go on...
    
   ...In those pages of places, people and times,
       she placed each little note on every line...
  
    ...In collections of impressions to recall again later,
        carefully kept new  on colored paper .


I'm sorry to say, I only found it later,
those photos of the life that made her.
Past down to my sister for safe keeping,
I saw her looking through it, quietly weeping.

  I guess those times now, are all but gone.
  Grandma kept a scrapbook, like I write songs...

   ...They're just memories, to sing again later,
      like little bits of life    on colored paper  .

'Round back alleys, and down black side streets
sits [laying] newspaper mattresses, and makeshift houses with no heat.

Just a step, or two, from Big City Lights, (a rolling neon technicolor wasteland),
lives the bottom tip of the bottle, and a short supply of all, but upturned hands.

Two streets over, over-the-top sparkle of high heels, and scantly draped dresses.
Down here, dweller's fever's rush down from old minded babe's spiralings of deep depression.  

The language most commonly spoken is lies, but it's not much different up hill.
What's not translatable from "bag," "spliff," or "pill," can be easily related with "shot," "bottle," or "bill."

I find myself fluent, a traveled veteran of countrysides,
adjusting to the headache of the city's heart, but unwilling to take the full ride.

Your blue eyes / your long blonde hair
how I feel at night / when you're not there
I think of you / almost every day
I'd trade my world / to have you back again

How long does it take / for these thoughts to stray
my spirit's free / but my heart still aches
I know I'll walk too far / to make it back one day
I'll fall apart / and memories will fade

I'll cry out loud / to find a way
but nothing helps
I've run out of words to say

I've held hands in mine / That made great art from clay
I've listened to deaf friends talk / Whose hands had much to say

If My hands could tell a story, what would it be?
Would they tell of times, good and bad. How would they judge me?

These hands have held a rock wall / Holding on for my life
The same hands that pulled a trigger / To make it through the fight

The Good Book that my Momma / Brought me up to believe
Says it's Not by works / That any man is made free

They've held my Son, and Daughter / High up toward the heavens
They've lifted up, and they've struck out / Some things aint worth a mention

But 'If these hands could tell a story,'
I wonder if you'd still let me ...

Wrap them 'round your waist at night / Hold your face close to mine
Place yours in mine when we walk / And Not judge me By the Way They Talk ...

[Well, there's scars from being cut open,
burns from knuckle to wrist,
a break from a bar fight,
and fingers that calloused just a bit...

From making noise and trying
to sing and write a few songs.
I guess these hands will tell
half the story after all.]

If these hands could tell a story, what would it be?
Would they tell of times, good and bad, Or would they punish me?

I've traveled through 45 states these past 4 years, I stayed awake most of last night counting them... I started, in some ways not far from bed where I lie now.
But, in many other ways, where I began seems to be millions of miles away.
I've walked many of those miles unafraid.
Some of those roads, I walked near wishing for death.
But along every path, down every road and across every track, I took you... I took you with me in my mind and in my soul, down every river, and along every shore.

I've written before that I felt lost, "adrift" at sea with no land in sight.
And I think, at times, I wanted nothing more... Nothing more than to remain adrift, and to die.
[Alone]
But now, lately I've begun to see and feel something different... A lighthouse, and beyond rocks, solid ground.

It may turn out to be nothing but sand, but it feels too much like "Hope" often.
I AM feeling also, more and more, that "fear" or Tide and Moon, and the cold loneliness of January night sky, so great and Empty... I'm not certain anymore that I could ever truly make the shore.

This, "Us," Me ....Will never turn out, or end on a happy note, (this isn't a movie), and I Am sorry, at last, for something.
... I am sorry that I may've given up at last.
I may never reach a shore.


I close my eyes, and I'm tumbling over and over and over and over, and over again in my Explorer; boxes bouncing, glass breaking, and it doesn't end.
I'm looking at tile floors through a bluish shade passing beneath me down corridor hallways.
We hit doors that open... And I think of you.

I see myself, skinny and sitting on a bed with wheels, wearing a paper night gown.
I want to raise my hand, in protest, or question, I'm not sure.
But half of my scalp, along with the entire right side of my face, slip quickly off and fall to the floor.

[i wake... and i write]

That's all I know to do anymore.
(Wake, and Write).

this is a Tennessee lullaby
from the front porch, to the wide open sky
lining up bottles, and getting ****** tonight

writing my "Tennessee Lullaby"

Headed down the road, no particular place in mind
When I saw an opportunity, to sit down and write
All of the sudden, a feeling came over me
Started missin' you so bad , I could hardly breathe

Flowers were blooming, we both always liked The Spring
I play guitar now, and I try to sing
I hope you know, I'll never forget
All the love you showed me, Oh, how much you've meant

I guess everybody's, got their own way
Of working through loss, so they can feel 'okay'
I've had me a cry, now I'm laughin' through tears
'Cause as long as I live, I know you'll still be here

Well, I guess it's 'bout time, for me to leave this place
Hope you liked the song, "I'm goin' ta be on my way"
Too short of a time we had, before "the part"
Where you left everywhere else,
                                                         save the place In My Heart

Clear as any path can be,
    four years, roaming .
I walk away,
    just leave .
When I find my way back
    you're still there for me .
I walk,  hike,  or stroll,
    no longer am I running . . .

When I think you've shown me all,
    we've finally reached the end,
you teach me more,
    another fork,  another bend .

I now see I am to wander your curves
    more than any lover with words
                        [endlessly] .
farther and farther down
            heart in the clouds
              feet on the ground
                          [free]

A relationship,
that's foundation must always be
unwavering truth and honesty ,
only on such a foundation
can there be cornerstones of trust and faith .
If a foundation is solid , it's corners will not break
And cracks from shifts , can be repaired or replaced . . .

Be it hurtful , scary , or uncertain of change ,
we must always center on these things
(Truth , Honesty , Trust and Faith)

This I say ,
because I realize that things
like people , interests and feelings, change ,
but if our relationship is set on a solid foundation
and we remain honest about the decisions we make . . .
There will stand a Love
stronger than any heartache  .

It's a beautiful day , is all I want to say
Every time you look my way it's such a beautiful thing .

It's a beautiful day , that's all I wanted to say
and it's a beautiful way you brighten up my day .

You know it's true ,
when I'm feelin' blue , I lock eyes with you
and get carried away . . .

It's a beautiful day , such a beautiful day
It's amazing the way your smile changes everything .

The weather don't have to be
"Ideal," for me to see , when you're near me all I want to say
is , It's a Beautiful Day .

. . .

its easy to see, you don't wanna see me anymore
so i'll do the leaving and walk out the door
'cause it's easy to see, see
you don't want me around no more

steel train running at the end of a long night
dew on the grass, waiting for morning light
you're in your bed fast asleep
didn't wanna wake you, i had to leave

wish that i could tell you how much you mean
to this broken hearted traveler you're everything
wanted to write a little, sorry it took so long
my feelings all get jumbled and i knew i was wrong

it hurts me too much to see you in pain
and i don't really wanna make you feel that way
when i'm gone, i think you'll be better in a day
i'll still hurt a little , but i'll be okay
---------------------------------------------------
(CH)
wan­na say i'm

sorry for the pain
sorry for the way
there's only me to blame
so, i'm gonna leave today

i'm sorry for the way
i let you hurt me
---------------------------------------------------
you were like a moonbeam, guiding my way
flowers in spring, rainbow after the rain
a wish in a fountain, all i want to say
is believe it or not, i fell in love right away
-------(CH)---------------------------------------------

..­.but i'm gone    and things
are back the way they should be

for you    and me
so why do i still feel like i'm falling   down

her arms told a story i was dying to know

Headed north up 65 , watching trees change color
Miles just fly on by, I'm heading back towards Colorado
And I'll breath that west coast air, no tellin' where I'll sleep again
This spirit takes me farther, down this road that never ends
  
     And my shadow sometimes leaves me, and I can't see too clear
      But this yellow line I'm riding,  it always gets me there.

Keep on pushing every mile , this road is my home
Make my living just running , like I was born to roam
With guitar in my hand , and breath in my chest
I hit the ground running , like there's no tomorrows left

im getting good at "good byes"
do 'em all the time
can look you straight in the eyes
and hardly even cry

im gettin better at telling lies
say one or two everytime
i'll kiss you soft and say
we'll meet again someday

so darling, before you and I
get much closer together tonight
before you've swept my heart away
there's something i should say

we can be together tonight
and i'll sure hold you tight
but honey you should know
i'm gettin' good at letting go

it might feel like we could stay
and i'll love you for always
but when the road calls me on down the line...
I'm gettin' good at "good byes"

singing for the tree lines, not far in from shore
along dusty roads with pack on back, and guitar

cool downtown, city-weekend nights, with street-lamp, store window light
wandering nomadic gypsy soul with adopted name
entertaining for angels and saints

warm country summer days, sidewalk strumming
streaming sweat, marking time, keeping time
forgetting time, and making it
watching it , seizing or taking it

breathing , discovering , smiling , shrugging
and sharing with friends whatever's left
(signed)      - All The Best,

when i'm ready to leave , there's no stopping me
let the wind howl and blow , i'm still gonna go
let thunder crash , let heaven scream
i'll be on the road just watch me leave

when there's no more words to write , no more fences to climb
no more trains to hop , no more roads to walk
then you can lay me down somewhere on the way out of town
and set my spirit free in a place in a place where stars are just out of reach

....

'cause when i'm ready to leave , there won't be no stopping me
let the winds howl and blow , you know i'm still gonna go
let thunder crash and Heaven scream , i'll be on the road , nothin' bothering me

when I've no more words to write , trails to hike or mountains to climb...
then lay me down on your way out of town and remember me
but set my spirit free

Nine lights snuffed out in a flash of intolerance and rage
Silence fell like death and for a reply, Hell just waits…

A voice arose, then two, then three…
As prayers and tears washed away blood and angels began to sing
Lights were rekindled and a fire began to burn
A storm of hate, had awakened a flood of love so great

Tragedy had darkened the doorway, but not to stay
Rather, so that Heaven could receive gifts and men could learn to pray

… Now roses line walkway and fences in front of a house of praise,
A reminder, not of horror,
But of loved ones, unifying a city full of people from beyond the grave.

We've made music 'til morning's light
passing through the night
You and I
with ocean and sky
Your constant loving breeze
my guitar with me
Together we made music
so sweet
Neither of us with anywhere else to be
with sandy bare feet
I strummed a melody
and you, you sang to me

I've seen the sun rise and set on two ocean's coasts.
I've spent years travelling, traversing and making my way from one ocean to another.
Always stopped short, by crashing waves and rocky shores
Filled with awe, my heart pumping in my chest
Also though, there is a longing now for more,
To press on out farther and see the rest.

I long to get lost at sea, to know and gaze upon ocean all around me.
To find some distant land, too far out for me to see.
I must press onward farther out, this land can no longer contain me [and my dreams]

...
I think I shall sleep tonight by the beach
And dream of waves crashing over me
Dream of being swept out with the tide
To a distant land where this place is only a beautiful memory

I drag a razor slowly across the face of this old man
as he tells me a story of youth and wasted times back when.
How he once stayed in 700 dollar hotels
and once performed on stage
He once had a family he loved and was religious in his faith.
he hesitates to tell me of
the worse parts of fate

But there's no need for words when I can read it all in his face.
divorce, deaths, explosions, deceit
******, vengeance, drugs and jail and violence and hate
all realized now, too old for mistakes
He raises an eye brow and says
"I've joined the working class again
I got a job at the restaurant down the street"
I'm glad for him I say
but wonder just how long it will last.

"I want to keep from killing myself and find something useful to do"
I tell him that we're done shaving his beard from his face now,
but he should maybe get a hair-cut as well.
He tells me, "maybe later..." He kind of likes it long,
"People don't bother with me very much at all.”

learned to play guitar
and even learned a new song
played music for money
spent time with my family
busted a string playing guitar
lost a friend
fell in love
climbed a mountain
sat on a waterfall
saw a palm tree
walked along the beach in fog
breathed salty air
swam in the ocean
discovered a fruit
saw a gay pride parade
camped in the Redwoods
fireworks exploded right above my head
made love on a cold starry night
played in sand
hiked down highway 101
slept on a boat in the bay
skinny dipped in a lake
and had *** on a train

I caught a Union Pacific headed westbound
howling at the moon
A blanket of stars and my guitar
that's when I wrote this tune

That "Midnight Express" will get you there
if ya haven't a worry, or reason to care
Headin' down the line, steady as she goes
it's like heavy metal rock and roll
------------------------------------------------
Rode it up an' down to Sacramento
when a railway man said, " Ya gotta go."
I heated up iron 'til the trail went cold
riding heavy metal rock and roll

Heavy metal, rock and roll
it shakes and it quakes ,  rattles my soul
I wasn't born on a train
but that's how I'll go
thanks to heavy metal's
rock and roll

--------------------------------------------------
Now every time I hear a whistle blow
I think of "catchin' out" and wonder where it's goin'
Well, I may sing like some "country folks"
but, I love heavy metal & rock and roll

i was busting     songs out
as fast as i could flow
she was turning "tricks"
on the corner of the road

barely making rent with
the habits that we chose

but we don't fuss & we don't fight
[....and thats good}    

i was  broke and selling c.d's
from the back of my van
she was out *******
  with every guy in town

we were barely speaking
accept to explode

but we don't fuss & we don't fight
[ever since i said "i'm gone"} ("hit the road")

dark clouds are looming
hanging heavy 'round my head
your voice , it haunts me
still not sleeping in that bed

i'll paint you a love song
and hang it from the wall
hope you get the message
running through the halls

the air is turning chill here
you can feel it in your bones
there's no more confusion about
which way the wind blows

everything is changing color and
starting to thin
this time , how far you end up,
won't depend on where you began   .

It starts with a chill in the morning,
                                         Every Morning,
                           [after nights cold and wet]
                         when the light is there
                      but still  and chilly . .


Then,            as     10 - noon      approaches
                     it quickly gets hot…


           …  In the shadows of the mountain though,
                          where the sun is out of reach,
              that’s when   bones
                                                           ­    grow old again .

everyday my mind wonders why ?
the sun lifts a head
      wind breathes in bones
               new seasons arise
morning is born with the death of night
my soul cries songs naked from mountain tops
     a secret sight
               a spirit alive
[a past drifting in too many tears to loose]
ghosting times far beyond try to...
understand the small bits of truth
     quietly
          seeping
               through
                              .

her hands were pristine, unblemished, clean
they tremble with passion on the keys (she's 18)
mine are scarred, an unnatural discolored burn scheme
i'm older and slower, still peck-typing

Stevi's buyin a prom dress
her momma's payin the bills
both are lookin for work now
A life in the rebuild.

Made it through the summer with the sand and the sun
In the cold winter months their love keeps 'em warm
Makin' things work out seems to come so easily ...
for the girls now laughing down at Hard Times Street
----------------------------------------------------------­---------------
Never seen a family so warm
Helping each other battle the storms
and wearing life's scars so gracefully
Time spent is always a pleasure
with the girls living down by Hard Luck Street
----------------------------------------------------------­----------------
...was just passing through when they took me in
Hope to make it back there to see 'em again
but we all know that the roads where I belong..

"Makin' good time I'll always rome
every stretch of mile that I call home"
But if ever down in Texas you know where you can find me...

Loving, laughing and making the best of things
with the girls making it up from Hard Times Street .

ive made a few stops but never get "stuck"
seen the world from the back of a pick-up truck
dont know where im goin but sein where ive already been
hop out, turn around and start walkin again

im in no hurry ..can take it slow
gonna find out how far that old highway will go
makin good time i'll always rome
just another stretch of mile that i call home

a tune in my head

guitar on my back

put on some blue jeans

and follow the tracks

[CH]
head full of ideas / places far away/ i'll blow outa here with the wind
find out where im goin/ just as soon as theres/ somewhere ive already been

miss you crying on my shoulder now and then
miss just having a drink or two as friends
miss staying awake at night and
talkin about what life'd be like
"if" we saw each other in a different light
I miss the times before we were "more than friends"

lay down in the grass, watch  stars shine overhead
you could clear away my tears with just a grin
when we would hang out late
and have a little much to drink
talk all night how "nothing could separate.."
I miss those times before we were "more than friends"

I make my peace daily   with the voices pounding (blazing)
in the mad terrific silence of the morning hue
Shooting  full loads in an opus ,
killing already dying ink from pen well to prison cell,
in my own personal crafty design of "Hell"
As my head rages on in a full frontal assault , i shower, get around some,
and shout to myself "Wake Up!"
Inner demons play chamber music and dine on my soul by fire light
so i watch the world turn and feel my insides burn
As everyday and night washes wreckage ashore
hoping everything turns out better than before
in the places that i don't visit (and wouldn't last a minute if I did) anymore

Places where life is unfair, people don't care,
and "boys" are made  "Men" every day .
A Place where a son or a daughter's face
cries helplessly for me to save . .
Where fathers outlive their kids
and Money & Power is ALL that there is .
Where people pass away almost daily
            [unless you've completely gone crazy]
.... (then you'll splatter your own matter when it's all over anyways)
In that Place,   it doesn't matter who's "wrong" or "right"
only who's Bigger and Meaner in a fight .

[It's a place where there never Rests In Pieces
                                                     the evils of life]

Again i feel the necessity to
see what I've written ,
when pound for pound , my energies [are] better left spent on spitting .

'Cause in my heart I'm split into a
million different sections ,
and I've ran through a few too, (down halls and learning lessons) .

Life can teach me a lot of things if I
open up and let it ,
some "good," some "bad" but, a lesson . . . . Is still a lesson .