together paradise,
nearby connection;
distance vanishes,
real-time embrace;
coincidental timing,
inarguable intersection;
fated misfortune,
mutual blessing;
soothing aura,
blissful homecoming;
affectionate cradle,
passionate possession;
fervent assertion,
warmly pursued;
together forever,
resurrected relation

voices blend, a buzzing murmur
steam swirls, mocha wafts
caffeinated atmosphere
java fog looms above

steam swirls, mocha wafts
music caresses lightly the ambience
caffeinated atmosphere
lively line of addicts

music caresses lightly the ambience
softly, I fall into clouded thought
lively line of addicts
contrast my peaceful bliss

softly, I fall into clouded thought
pen the pensive rumination
contrast my peaceful bliss
busy baristas hollering orders

pen the pensive rumination
inspiration in café population
busy baristas hollering orders
while I ponder life's purpose

inspiration in café population
doodle, draw, and dream
while I ponder life's purpose
I sigh, my mind screams

doodle, draw, and dream
let it out, let me be
I sigh, my mind screams
voices blend, a buzzing murmur

oh inherited hair,
why do you kink and twirl
straight is in, smooth the curl
your twists and turns are rare
with the popular, you'll never compare
Thanks to you, I look like a little girl
humidity helps the whirl
never mind the cut or care
Lebanese in pedigree
no reason to change yourself in shame
textured, strong, full, wavy, and dark
don't wait for vision and reality to agree
owning it will make a mark
let it shine - the real you - don't tame

constantly searching
introspective, self-aware
reality hits
looking inward, honesty
both a blessing and a curse

I wish I could decipher you
insufficient explanation construed
words may fail and logic falter,
the account I'd never alter

a beautiful culmination
purposed, intricate summation
as poetic as a psalter,
the account I'd never alter

transcendent, pleasant mystery
exquisite, written history
content, soaring past the vaulter
the account I'd never alter

I wish I could decipher you
the account I'd never alter

Ballerinas are robust.
Are your toes calloused?
Do you dance?

meaningful investment, definite impact
genuine compassion, to you I attract
unofficial adoption; like static, cling
nonverbal given, jubilant I now sing
protective walls liquidate, you're in; shell cracked

if anything at all, tender soul distract
short but ever so sweet, fill the gaps exact
gently you hold me; heal and bind broken wing
...if ever I've tasted of love's glor'ous life

trustworthy provider, fix all I've lacked
maybe walk down the aisle, heart intact
constant and watchful, giving hope for a ring
as I on an optimist pendulum swing
tangible, real, felt, believed. love not abstract
...if ever I've tasted of love's glor'ous life

Look what you've done!
double the serving size of torment
the battle has begun
hunger pangs won't relent
another helping: slashes of lament
I'd rather be empty
necessary rations, I resent
beneficial to you, poisonous to me
drifting through the days, rugged debris
I've become a lunchroom paralytic
ignore me, mediocre bourgeoisie
not a stomach, but a heart granitic
I ask for seconds - of love, not larder
For once, I feel full. Incomparable ardor.

acceptably buried,
color: drab
effectively furrowed
gray.
heather, iron
jutting knife
lead, mousy
nearly opaque,
powder
'quisitively rugged
smoky
terribly unnoticed
verily withdrawn
xenon
yesterday's zeal

pink, satin slippers
strong, poised, graceful pirouette
kinesthetic art

crawling centipedes
spiders scurry silently
basement bug barrage

silverfish slithering so,
reverting fearfully back

awful arthropods
disgusting diplopoda
infamous insects

holes in the ground, walls and floor
inhumane habitation

pesky perspective
look at things my way, big sir
seek shadowed shelters

horrifying is my name
scaring people is my game

big shoes, enemy!
fear me? unreasonable
boneless body crushed

ironic scare, you not me
exoskeleton demise

now you see me, now you don't
until next time my good friend

sleepy-eyed, but wide awake
thoughts come, thoughts go
insufficient rejuvenate
drift and doze on sheets of gold

thoughts come, thoughts go
lucid dreams escape
drift and doze on sheets of gold
jot before it slips away

lucid dreams escape
glorious in-between
jot before it slips away
revelation unforeseen

glorious in-between
drowsy genius intellect
revelation unforeseen
grab it, quick to vanish

drowsy genius intellect
plainly superior prose
grab it, quick to vanish
internal accolade amass

plainly superior prose
find strength within
internal accolade amass
insight unprecedented

find strength within
the still of the day
insight unprecedented
sleepy-eyed, but wide awake

all the day's longing
has driven me here
teenage angst is
yesterday's excuse
searching, seeking
trying, failing
by error I conclude
savvy I do not hold
but oh, am i good at being fragile
Lucky for me,
I know someone
who handles with care
'tis sweet, the endowment
of calls to mercy
my lone obligation
to enjoy Him forever

you leave me - without a word
full of shame, living crypt
naked, empty, stripped
the next morning - blurred

hold me like old times; dreams deferred
abuse unreported; wrists ripped
you leave me without a word
full of shame, living crypt

investment and love, confidence spurred
careful tread, but into your arms I slipped
now your love comes with fees; shipped
but I, your little bird
you leave me without a word

the road I walk,
I do not wish
to tread the rock
and rubble alone
companion, I pray
unhappily dependent

viewed resplendent
heard, small talk
subjected prey
boredom's side dish
lovely to have known
heart under lock

I ask, I knock
hope transcendent
drained of begging, weak groan
voice, dry chalk
squirm like a fish
counterpart delay

hold me as we sway,
embrace rewinds the clock
wooden panel, veil swish
secondly ascendant
refusal to balk
lifeline thrown

stoic face of stone
temperament at bay
creating small flock
promise, not a hock
slipping independent
dreams, strength squish

life in a whish
favor over crone
emotive attendant
vulnerable, I lay
life smock
eternal ****

firm the dock
lifetime pock
everlasting gray

Ordinarily able-bodied,
stop me in my tracks
I don't mind
a few days rest
weekend plans
you wreck

Detours don't phase me - obliterate stigma, my response

I'll walk or crawl or submit to the sidelines
I'll ride or sit or be a tour guide
Attendance, no question
my life's purpose
in one day gathered
I go, no hesitation
re-visioning the day
lesson learned, past mistake

Detours don't phase me - obliterate stigma, my response

different, I imagined the scene
life's greatest mystery:
reality versus dreamed
unseen struggle, just as real
ridding shame and damnation
love is the answer here

Detours don't phase me - obliterate stigma, my response

glissade, tours jeté; poised and powerful
pirouette, sous-sus; humbling finesse
agility: deceivingly immortal
classsic elegance to encompass

enveloped audience, alluring physique
grande jeté, fluid grace, moving mystique
clean sauté arabasque; lissome wonder
sharp, precise, polished; she moves without blunder

Why, after everything you do,
leave everything askew?

planted in foundation firm, upright she grows
hardened by bullying winds, fragile she froze
spring sunlight begins to thaw her icy trunk
undreamt beauty within, temporary funk
nurtured and nursed back to life, the impact shows

meant for more than shadows, pretty she pose
structure, strength, and semblance; groundwater bestows
brilliant and confident contrasts wilted, shrunk
I, unraveling; opening; flourishing.

stretching toward light; jaws dropped, she fearless arose
petals so pretty, her true colors expose
stem entwined with stories; her purpose no bunk
floods, fingers, fierce feeling; she stood never sunk
wavering character, but bold hope she chose
I, unraveling; opening; flourishing.

you hold my heart
and then listen as I pour it out
you erase my doubt
feel close, when we're apart
you counsel me well
offer when you see a need
and you know how I bleed
gentle direction, no need to yell
whispers of adoration
your fingers caress the line
of torment before your life touched mine
multi-faceted vocation,
dodecahedron love,
sent to me from above

you saw me grow, I'm not lucky
please set me free
hating mealtime
wipe second slime

I want a stomach that works, please.
easy to tease
supposed to be
helping me, she

cries out, eating experience
I'm serious
not in my head
mealtime I dread

flowy, fancy and frolicky vibe
I'm on top of the world!
confidence furled
full support, no hint of a gibe
a certain move through your thick brain, imbibe
my cocoon I've uncurled
heritage whorled
natural elation, no Prozac prescribed
Yet, twirls come to a halt
my smile fades as you drone on
It's all my fault
learning forgone
emotional assault
I'm done, you won

affections follow perfection
it's up to me

smooth out the kinks
fix the chips
show your teeth
don't twirl your locks
take off all those bracelets
you look silly
sit still
play this
read this
pray on Sunday
be happy
don't embarrass me
you used to be...
take AP
go out
mistakes aren't allowed
45.5861° N, 95.9139° W equals success
broken things make me yell
don't cry
work comes first
don't come home
you make things worse

Baffled by the beauty of grace,
I'm learning...
Love is not performance-based.

unconventional, to say the least
on Sunday, love your neighbor
peek out her drawn shades, secret belabor
not in nature, nurture's the blamed beast
preference, peculiar;
she's stuck in her ways.
cover stories will guide her days
both victim and defendant, scared for the future
together, we're stronger,
and petty we fall.
to love my black soul, but her skin appall
bizarre assumptions grow longer
to feel, to know, to look beyond
eccentricism; How will you respond?

filled with pleasant praises, add to the noise
outsiders merely hear a clanging gong
misguided stooge, highest priority poise
broken, segmented; melodious song
pitchy, discordant, strident, jumbled throng
cackle, not laughter; like nails on chalkboard
screeching halt, hacked lung, dissonant ding-****
novice strum, harsh ring, disagreeing chord
overpoweringly awful, not dexterously ignored
discrepant dichotomy, add worldly confusion
you learned disciples, jarringly shored
bash uncomfortable jangles, chime the delusion
like the bells in your tower, you inharmonious bunch
wanderers offput by your lazy, Sunday punch

foundation of sand
all or nothing, bet on him
hopes high; reality hits

cynical abstain
grasp hope in power of Him
whose dominion reigns o'er all

drenched in the stench of competition,
unattractive ultimate of winning
a loss equates to confidence thinning
stopping not, for sake of the mission
for someone of high cognition
victory consumes you, leaves you grinning
unnoticed until now, same from the beginning
determined to conquer this fission
strict, stoic, aggressive ****
maintain control, grip tighter the reigns
anything from professional to Yahtzee
uneven match, still your moral gains
stubborn, step into a familial kamikaze
severing connection, frees me from chains

invisible & amoebic
your love for me was strategic
it engulfs my fragile heart and -
provides tidal security

roller coaster of highs and lows
invisible & amoebic
right turn, a lucky shot; strength ebbs
turnaround, drop a hat; strength flows

inevitable waves of in-
consistency rock my small boat
invisible & amoebic
lucid thoughts, unable to surface

Lifeguard! I'm drowning, but let me
tread, kick, fight; as I lose my breath
gulp of fantasy: I wash up
invisible & amoebic

slavery, abuse, oppression
call it what you want
I'm trapped, imprisoned by your lies
I cry out; no one believes me

call it what you want
torn; protect you out of obedience
I cry out; no one believes me
torn; protect myself for what I'm worth

torn; protect you out of obedience
but you never fight for me
torn; protect myself for what I'm worth
I'm bruised, but not broken

but you never fight for me
this is my anthem
I'm bruised, but not broken
slavery, abuse, oppression

It didn't seem real
It was like he had only gone fishing
Of course, that was only a dismal hope
a faint glimmer of me wishing

I'll miss him dearly
Won't get to see him biyearly
playing games - cards and such
golf, euchre, slapjack, and sequence

No more am I able to hug his round belly
or give a kiss on his sandpaper cheeks
But no more will he ache or shake
Oh, what a glorious day!

My heart hurts for my grandmother's loss
The house feels empty without his jolly, old laugh
But there we left her,
playing a lonely game of solitaire

Yet, his memory lives on through me
I can tell of his love for our country
Eagles, flags, and family
These were his pride and joy

I loved him so much
I really did
But I can live in peace
Knowing he's waiting for me
with Jesus

chaos dances dizzily within her head
grand plié, her countenance dips
spotting her lover, pursed lips
gracefully swirls 'cross the way, smile filled with dread

maintaining composure, her sentiment bled
eyes that hide a story, emoting only through her hips
chaos dances dizzily within her head
grand plié, her countenance dips

spotting her pirouettes, instead of tears shed
her mind wanders and reality slips
bold persona assumes her person, off the scripts
quasi-confident, the stage she tread
chaos dances dizzily within her head

You don't understand,
thirty-two minutes -
threw my head in a dizzy-
I ***** up all of the things.

Replaying my choices
what if, what if
I should have known better
nuisance of twenty

hinged on the detail
stomach in knots
a nervous wreck
forget-me-not

The ache is there
to **** and burn
After all,
it's what I deserve

So, forget me not
here I go
slow, slow
strawberry fields of old

the words which nourish my fainting heart
'tis so sweet the rhythm of your voice
faring up and down
drifting with me on good days

catching me on the way down,
down, down - I sink into
the words which nourish my fainting heart
'tis so sweet the rhythm of your voice

I close my eyes and feel
your breath on my cheek
as I turn to discount your sincerity
you reach for me, with
the words which nourish my fainting heart

invisible, nobody, trouble cure
wear black, blend in, disguise
the light in me dies
trade-in, temptation lure

cautious, cuffs wrap secure
potential compromise
invisible, nobody, trouble cure
wear black, blend in, disguise

behind peers, I mature
lines noticed, you apprise
sleeves, leave you to surmise
pitifully unsure
invisible, nobody, trouble cure

the puzzle of life, I remain perplexed
how people come and go
ebb and flow
what point is there in ever attaching
marrying, moving, distancing, dying
everyone leaves

You've played your part, how could I ask you to do anything more?

unable to view the mural of my life,
piece by piece, everything fits
I see portions, lacking summation
humbly, I admit humanity
accepting inability of omniscience,
appreciating lone piece independently
dear to my heart, supporting role
The Grammy is yours, I'd be nothing without you

You've played your part, how could I ask you to do anything more?

I'll see the end. Battle-worn but standing.
look down, see my calloused hands
I've worked to be here, and I've prevailed
Glance back, a myriad of encouragement
a touch from some, a word, a silent hug
handwritten love, novels of reassurance

You've played your part, how could I ask you to do anything more?

you can look, but you won't find
the perfect place to grow
leave your expectations behind
too late, unable to forego
the years rush by, but yet so slow
be still, my heart, and you will see
more than see, you will know
This is exactly where you're supposed to be
rest in contentment, this I plea
Now's the time to let Him work
not all the time will you agree
divine action sometimes leaves you in the murk
Here with holy thoughts enchanted,
dear seed, it's time to grow where are you planted

nonsensical desire, confronted irrationality
unattainable aspiration, ugly ultimatum
status perceived, not of datum
distorted reality, blunt brutality

fear from retrospect, timid mentality
caring investors, issue relayed verbatim
nonsensical desire, confronted irrationality
unattainable aspiration, ugly ultimatum

lonely, no commonality
pensive, pounding cranium
demise of my own creation
fallen nature of mortality
nonsensical desire, confronted irrationality

twiddle, nitpick, hyper aware
look around, distracting sound
simmer down, hair twirls around
finger fidget, anxious stomach

look around, distracting sound
concentration, familiar loss
finger fidget, anxious stomach
quick to pass on own comfort

concentration, familiar loss
staring, story supposition
quick to pass on own comfort
skip the line, go hungry

staring, story supposition
crowds, cliques, an anxious tick
skip the line, go hungry
unacceptable alibi

crowds, cliques, an anxious tick
butterfly squirms, I choke on it
unacceptable alibi
crazy claim, you're insane

butterfly squirms, I choke on it
hate, hate, hate; I choose to quit
crazy claim, you're insane
help me function normally

hate, hate, hate; I choose to quit
perseverance; out, not in
help me function normally
love me unconditionally

perseverance; out, not in
something's wrong, help me mom
love me unconditionally
twiddle, nitpick, hyper aware

try not to eat
dextrose demise
aisle retreat
effects you despise
advertising lies
temporary fix
fraudulent "fun size"
ice cream licks
pixie sticks
pumpkin pie
try trail mix!
empty calorie
sweet in short
appetite distort

father, mother
son, daughter
normal words to any other
but whose meaning do you slaughter
crossing kin,
blood no obstacle for relation
love will always win
so sign your name, accept abdication

though no legal ties bind
as your own, me, you receive
no obligation, plainly the nurturing kind
clinging to your care, from my pedigree I cleave
that is a precious word to me,
please don't tread those syllables lightly

strip me naked, deteriorating worth
bruised and broken, perfect porcelain façade
hidden degradation, Holy love unearth
vulnerable prey, inescapable ****
mended by the Healer, washed clean in rebirth
loved completely, though ***** and stained and flawed
allure unimagined, inconceivable  
wed in white, pure, beautiful, receivable

anticipated return, He's coming back
in victorious glory, He holds his bride
with Him, restoration; there's nothing I lack
when the notion of grace settled in, I cried
hesitant, yet desiring your closeness
timid, wrapped in your gentle arms, I confide
many times I tried, my head won, and I stopped
teacher of trust; I, as Your own, you adopt

How is it that I long for something I already possess?

I feel an orphan, though I lack not
my emotions feel imposter

like those of true loss,
my heart aches for more than a shadow
moreover, I carry the guilt of this pang
with knowledge of those who carry authentic sorrow

I ask the question.
Is bruised fruit better than nil?
Is bread, molded and crumby, better than none at all?

I know you love me, but do you enjoy me?
obligation does not breed true affection.
dutiful acceptance falls short
I long for a genuine, tangible love

spindly limbs, midnight hair
little girl, sitting on the steps
disappointed, what's wrong with me?
Daddy, dance with me

far from your strong arms,
my heart dances with danger
those boys aren't men
Daddy, fight for me

take me back
love me, though I'm broken
I can be whole in your arms
Daddy, tell me I'm yours

wandering, running
finding an identity
a nomad for love
Daddy, teach me how

day dressed in white
he takes her wedded hand
light falls on their shoulders
Daughter, will you dance with me?

He wraps her as his
for the last time;
redemptive dance
Daddy, now I'm his

What else did you miss?

Please, Mrs. front row goer,
You needn't explain yourself to me
good deeds don't replace the creed,
and excuses fall dead on my ears

mother of a mother
needed or needing to be needed?
RSV, stay away, OK, but
recognized servitude?

unempathetic to your need
for validated humility,
leaving the listener unsettled
sit and be sermonized

There's a way to be good again
Look to the rugged cross,
the empty tomb,
our Risen King

squirming worms
rotten apple brain
psychotic terms

disguised stable & sane
sorry infestation
good looks maintain

proceed with hesitation
pink ladies disappoint
one bite and cessation

outward promises at their breaking point
inside, a terrible surprise to avoid

swirling steam, meets the morning breeze
bubbling water encompasses the bag with ease
aroma of cinnamon fills me with savory grace
resting precious china on doily of lace
tepid tea, wintry soul appease

warm caress in a cup guarantees
moments of harmony battles bleak disease
warm trickle down, likening embrace
swirling steam, meets the morning breeze

dreaming of life overseas
imagine now, the possibilities
believing in an impactful trace
young and learning, necessary space
muddled thoughts over early tea
swirling steam, meets the morning breeze

lucky you're mine
wrapped warm
safety possessed
in your arms

hold me close, bound to your breast
forehead kiss
sets everything in place
in your arms

the world can't touch me
words can't hurt me
forget the pain
in your arms

release the worry
act that shows
you're a man of your word
in your arms

arms, arms,
arms of acceptance
of security, of love
in your arms

terrestrial representative
honest acknowledgement
locked in love
in your arms

captivate my senses
reign them in
sure foundation
in your arms

formerly wounded
empty
alone; but not
in your arms

elevated,
sure,
complete
in your arms.

loved,
healing,
confident
in your arms.

secure,
free,
redeemed
in your arms.

belonging,
protected,
place to be
in your arms

me
in your arms.

some moments can only be described as
"aha" paired with a deep sigh of relief
or
"hmph" followed by a whimper of distress

precious memories of time that
can only seem to be reciprocated
with a guttural noise

"mmmmm" as she falls into
the arms of another who loves her

"aaeehhhhh" as ice water
satisfies thirst by the noon July sun

moans in childbirth,
yelps of fear,
grunts of rage,
whines between tears

swoosh as the end draws near

words run
they leave
just like everyone else
and yet,
I ponder
with words:
wordless beauty

unprompted proposal.
official assumption.
sweet surprise.
not asked.
not bribed.
not coaxed.
+
not hushed.
simply loved.
bad timing.
Almighty appointment.
=
subtle reminders.
frequent tears.
positive impact.
two-way street.
what if.
why now.
questions abound.
relentless trust.
emotional orphan.
family embrace.

slithering snake, clenches your throat
wraps mind, squeezes life from your veins
energy enemy, bitter bloat
daunting journey, lurking shadows

constricted, conflicted outcast
unable to free from the chains
worn down from life's toll, heavy past
daunting journey, lurking shadows

forbidden to fail, forced to eat
crying, trying, relationship strains
internally free, dinner feat
daunting journey, lurking shadows

conquered mind war, truce to take care
bare me, scary, all that remains
victorious I rise, baptized
daunting journey, lurking shadows