I cannot fathom how you manage to wake up everyday.
With a smile on your face.
Even though you carry the weight of the world.
I know you're tired. Drained. Stressed out.
Hell, coffee doesn't work for you anymore.
My love, you need rest.
You are free to come to my arms and get one.
I'll surround you with the warmth of my love for you.
You are such a strong person.
And I admire you for that.
I am greatly proud of you because of the things you do everyday.
At home, you still work.
Hours and hours after your shift ends.
Countless seconds spent on doing those spreadsheets.
Nothing left for you to sleep.
And you wake up in the morning already tired before you start your day.
My God. I just want to give you a long long hug.
Just for you to appreciate that the efforts that you're making are not put to waste.
You told me you just want to cry it all out because you're so tired.
Here I am. I'm all ears. Willing to listen to every word you say.
Love, if only traffic is not an issue here in our country, I'd fucking go to your workplace every after your shift just to fetch you and give you a ride home.
Just for you to somehow experience comfort for a few hours.
With no hassle whatsoever on getting a bus or a cab home.
If only that's possible for me.
We rarely talk right now because you're so busy.
I miss the sound of your voice.
I miss seeing your face.
I miss seeing myself genuinely smile when I'm with you.
Please don't let your work kill you slowly.
Slowly but surely, it's tearing you apart.
I know you love your job so much.
But please, spare some love for yourself.
Makaramdam ng ganito.
Kinasusuklaman, Kinamumungian. Galit na galit.
Sa aking sarili.
Tuluyang nagpapalapa sa mga demonyo ng aking utak.
Tuluyan ang pagisip sa mga aspeto na di naman talaga pwedeng mangyari.
Binantaan na kita, aking sarili.
Sinabi ko sayo na tigilan mo na ang ganyang idealidad
Ngunit sa bawat pagkakataong makita ko ang kanyang mukha.
Ako'y bumabalik sa dati.
Lahat ng pinagsamahan ay nanunumbalik.
Sobrang linaw sa aking paningin, kayang ibigkas ang mga nangyari.
At sa kung ikumpara man, ganong kalabo ang ating kalagayan sa isa't isa.
Tuluyan kong binabalik-balikan sa aking utak ang mga pangyayari.
Tuluyan kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na 'Sana maulit muli'.
Tuluyan kong naririnig ang iyong kwento at boses.
Tuluyan kong nakikita ang sarili kong nakangiti.
Sa iyong presensya ako'y nakumpleto.
At wala na kong hihingin pang iba, makasama ka lang muli.
The chill breeze of the midnight air.
Dancing atop my dry skin.
While taking a hit at my 2 day old cigarette.
I look beside me and saw that I'm all alone.
Wishing I'd be with you.
Praying you'd be by my side.
I just want to hold your hand while looking at these beams of light shining in the dark.
Feeling the cold swing of air.
Sharing a cig.
And later on, sharing lips.
Oh what a burden I bear.
Not because of the workload but because of the time.
So much time has been wasted in travelling to work and home.
On and on and on without end.
Hours and hours with no avail.
Spent on the road. My second home.
In which I spend almost half of my day with.
Rather than being at home.
I am completely amazed of your existence.
On why you have torn your wings and kept yourself at bay.
Instead of you soaring high and flying away.
An angel in disguise.
Sent from above.
A being immeasurable of beauty.
Of elegance and grace.
Nothing can compare to you.
A being transcending time and space.
Nothing can compare to you.
Yet my heart chose you for you have shed light in my cold dark world.
You touched my heart and made it's blackened blood red again.
You are the souce of my happiness and the reason why I bear a smile in my face each day.
A smile never withering away.
I hope you take the chance to glimpse your eyes on these words coming straight from the heart.
Just know, my pure affection was with you right from the start.
And with that, I am still spellbound.
I never thought I'd see you again.
I never thought my eyes would glimpse at your innocent face.
My God, yes, that is correct.
I now have a God and that's because of you.
The way you called up on me and the way I didn't notice you was sort of like out of a love story.
Every scene was perfection.
Even though it's just for about half an hour.
Even though I know for sure it'll take long for us to see each other again.
It was perfect.
Your reactions to my card tricks when we were at the cab.
The way you gave me a hug and kissed my cheek.
The way you said thank you for I was the one that took you to your first day of work.
It all left a smile on my face.
And that smile never withered away.
I have been tired of living my life full of sadness.
Full of regret, abandonment and misery.
I'm sick of being sick of the world.
I don't know if this is long term or temporary.
I just look at the other side in which the grass is much greener.
No more room for misery.
No more space for tears.
No more will I shoulder the weight of the world again.
For you have come and showed me the light.
And painted a smile on my face each day you talk to me.
I just hope it's for long.
Because I don't want to be in the same corner again crying myself to sleep.
Thinking of ending my life with nowhere else to go.
Despising the heavens and embracing hell.
No, I don't want that again.
I want happiness.
And I find that in being with you.
Another opportunity turned to ash.
Everything has been wasted.
I still will not give up a chance to see and glimpse your innocent face.
but all has been tiring since.
Nevertheless, I'll still be there. For you and only you.
Even if I don't know what's going through your mind.
Even if everything's falling apart.
I'll still be there.
Teach me how to stop caring.
How to stop giving fucks to people
Who don't give a fuck about you.
I'd still give in
Even though I tell myself to stop.
I'd still give in
Even though I'm tired.