My own two thumbs
Though I reach high
They ground me
They are mine

Two little hearts
On the tips of my fingers
Forever in the spotlight
Forever feeling

Eager to grab hold
Quick to recoil
In love
In fear

Two little thumbs
Alone they are small
But together they feel the world
But together they are me

It starts at my toes
And crawls up to my heels
It lingers
As a warning
And then slowly climbs the rest of my body
Inch by inch
Until a shiver engulfs me
Into a cold but comforting hug

Brisk night air
A river rushing in the distance
Beauty in the darkness
Open
Inviting
Absolutely whole.

Quiet envelopes all sound
A place once lively
Full of light
Now dark
Empty

Not in a bad way
The dark can be calming
Inviting
A light breeze
Happy trees
Smiling at grateful gazers

What was empty
Is an emptiness that can be filled in a second
But lingers on for months
Like the cool breeze on a spring night
Warming but chilling

And while gazing up
Up at the blossoms, up through the trees
Worry - empathy - a sense of calm
The lookers whisper on below
Eventually
All
Will
Reach
Balance

Drifting through realities
Am I present in all or none
How do I experience my current truth
Fully, as just one?

It’s an art
So I’ll try to start
To accept myself as a whole entity
To live and be

And regardless
Your reality
Is different than mine.

Can you live your truth?
How envious I am of those
Who are transparent
And content
Who can just be.

Heavy clouds churn in my head
All of my truths form together
I can’t handle it
I can’t accept it

I hate who I am

Cigarette smoke lingers in her mouth as she reaches for a glass of red wine

Sweat beads fall down Her faded sari as She forms countless chapathi

she lounges
She works

Everywhere I go my body aches
Of regret
Of sadness
Of what could have been
The sun glares upon the windows of my childhood home
Milkshakes, dumb jokes, high school love shared there

Four years in my new home
A college love
Memories that I cannot remember but cannot forget
Hiking, skiing, adventuring

Then distraction
My life is picture perfect
i am so happy
millions of friends
supportive family
life is too too too good
And then it repeats

I did this all to myself
I do this to myself every time
Why can’t I let myself be
I push myself so much so that I can never be content

I don’t want to feel this way anymore