Everywhere I go my body aches
Of regret
Of sadness
Of what could have been
The sun glares upon the windows of my childhood home
Milkshakes, dumb jokes, high school love shared there

Four years in my new home
A college love
Memories that I cannot remember but cannot forget
Hiking, skiing, adventuring

Then distraction
My life is picture perfect
i am so happy
millions of friends
supportive family
life is too too too good
And then it repeats

I did this all to myself
I do this to myself every time
Why can’t I let myself be
I push myself so much so that I can never be content

I don’t want to feel this way anymore